Author's Note: Just something I thought would be fun to do. I do not own Metal Gear Solid or its characters.

1. Love that cardboard box.

2. Don't have sex with Volgan.

3. Do not hump the floor.

4. Do not stare at The Pain.

5. Do not lick The Pain.

6. Do not steal Snake's hair.

7. Do not stalk Snake whilst in a cardboard box.

8. Do not watch old movies.

9. Do not dance in front of your enemies.

10. Do not masterbate to magazines.

11. Do not replace Psycho Mantis with a regular mantis.

12. Do not steal Dirty Duck's boomerangs.

13. Do not call The End father time.

14. Do not shave The End's beard whilst he's sleeping.

15. Do not paint the cardboard box.

16. Do not force Olga to shave.

17. Do not go potty in your pants.

18. Do not dress all sexy.

19. Do not take your shirt off whilst Eva is looking.

20. Do not take The Fear's arrow to the knee.

21. Do not travel to space with The Fury.

22. Do not do jumping jacks while sneaking.

23. Do not attempt to touch the exclamation sign above the enemy's head.

24. Do not stick C4 in a freezer.

25. Do not allow a snake revenge.

26. Do not call Major Zero a loser.

27. Do not stick confetti on The End's head.

28. Do not marry The Boss.

29. Do not hit The Sorrow like a pinata.

30. Do not touch The Sorrow.

31. Do not buy The Sorrow a new coat.

32. Do not dye Raiden's hair.

33. Do not eat an electric eel.

34. Do not buy Snake a fake eye.

35. Do not steal Revolver Ocelot's guns.

36. Do not push Liquid in a pool.

37. Do not clone Snake.

38. Do not force Snake to tell you his real name.

39. Do not kiss Snake.

40. Do not kiss a snake.

41. Do not play roulette with Fortune.

42. Do not call Fatman fat.

43. Do not turn Snake into a snake.

44. Do not force Volgan to go to straight camp.

45. Do not get Volgan wet.

46. Do not sneak around wearing only underwear.

47. Do not radio the DJ.

48. Do not use C4 as a plate.

49. Do not smoke for more than two minutes.

50. Do not attempt to kill a man with a fork.

51. Do not drink the red water.

52. Do not buy Vamp new fangs.

53. Do not have a gun duel with Ocelot.

54. Do not hire Snake as a hooker.

55. Do not party with Snake.

56. Do not sneak into a R-rated movie.

57. Do not win a lifetime supply of cigars.

58. Do not force Snake to quit smoking.

59. Do not give The Fear a new crossbow.

60. Do not kick the cardboard box.

61. And finally do not create more Snakes.

Author's Note: If you liked it, I could be convinced to add more. So review and tell me what you thought. 8D!