Eddie wasn't feeling walking the beat today. It was a cold bitter day in December and she really only wanted to stay inside with a warm bowl of soup and one very special Reagan by her side.

But that wasn't going to happen. Not when the awkward tension of their last kiss still hung in the air around them whenever they were on duty together. Jamie hadn't said it out loud but she knew he was thinking about it as well, as partners, they should have cleared it up a long time ago and sworn to never have physical contact again. Part of Eddie was relieved that Jamie hadn't discussed it with her because he would have ended it completely, playing by the rules and either requesting a new partner or shutting down around her at work. Eddie couldn't bear any of those outcomes and therefore the matter went untouched. She had a vague idea of what might be going through Jamie's mind every time he entered their squad car and it always started and ended with Jamie marching out and spilling their kiss to Sarge. But he hadn't cracked yet and they seemed to be alright at functioning on the job, overlooking how protective Jamie would get with her.

So Eddie kept riding with him, Jamie kept riding with her and together they survived another miserable day on the beat.

"My fingers are frozen." Jamie said with his husky New York accent.

Eddie didn't answer, he always complained he was cold like she always complained she was hungry.

"Eddieeee." Jamie whined, "I'm serious."

She turned and shot him a look, "Put your damn gloves on then."

Obediently he slipped his gloves on and then proceeded to shove his hands deep into his pockets with a huff. They weren't ten minutes into their shift and he was already complaining incessantly. Jamie kept peering down at her but she was too smart to meet his eyes, his grey blue irises could win any fight, especially against Eddie. And that's how every day would start, Jamie sneaking looks at Eddie wondering if he should say something about really anything meaningful. The answer was usually no, they were better at small talk and police conversations. Neither one of them wanted to open that can of worms.

"I'm hot." Jamie broke the silence.

"No you're not." Eddie snapped back defensively.

She heard a small snicker coming from Jamie as he slipped his gloves back off and unzipped his jacket all the way.

"Zip up your jacket, Reagan, it's not exactly summertime."

"Okay mom." He replied, she could hear the smile in his voice but he made no move to zip his jacket more than a quarter of the way.

Then he sneezed twice. And you can be damn sure he zipped that jacket before Eddie could even get a word in. Reagan boys do not get sick, especially not on the job.
The next hour went by uneventfully, Jamie sneezing every few minutes or so but keeping his jacket and gloves on as she had told him to do. Eddie knew better than to hold her breath for a thank you.

Then a call for a robbery came through dispatch, the partners raced for their squad car and Jamie floored it about 4 blocks down to a local convince store. Secretly, Eddie loved when Jamie drove, even though she liked to drive, she also liked to watch her partners face tense in concentration when they raced after a perp. Jamie was always stressed though, no matter if it was a purse snatching or all of friggin New York on fire, he wore the same tense expression until all was clear. Eddie knew why of course, Jamie could never bear to hear the words officer down without going into full panic mode knowing that he hadn't taken the call seriously.

The robbery didn't contain any hostages besides the clerk so the partners carefully approached the conscience store, guns drawn. Jamie motioned for her to go left while he proceeded to the right, towards the alley and the back door of the building. Eddie stepped toward the front door trying not to be spotted through the glass as she watched Jamie slip in through the back door. He shifted across the small store hoping to catch the thief off guard and cuff him without shots fired when he sneezed.
Eddies heart froze when the perp turned and pistol whipped Jamie in the face before he could even go for his gun. He hit the floor dazed but not completely out cold. Eddie quickly reported officer down then she stormed into the store, gun pointed directly at the suspects forehead.

"Put the gun down and step away from the officer. I won't hesitate to shoot you." Eddie snapped. She quickly realized that what the perp was pointing at a disoriented Jamie was an airsoft gun not a real weapon. She almost smiled as the perp turned to her and pointed the toy gun at her heart.

Jamie started to struggle off the floor but Eddie needed him to stay put so she wouldn't have to run after this perp when Jamie scared him off.
The thief couldn't have been more than 17 and shooting the kid wasn't an option if he didn't even have a real gun. Slowly she inched towards the boy, "Just put the gun down. I don't want to hurt you."

She removed one of her hands from her gun to reach for her taser just in case he tried to make a break for it. But that was the moment Jamie decided to move. The kid fired three airsoft bullets towards her, two to the chest where her vest was and one to the neck.

"EDDIE!" Jamie screamed as she bent over, the bullet knocking the wind out of her neck but not drawing blood. To a concussed Jamie on the other hand, Eddie had just been shot at close range in the jugular. He was already reporting it in to the station before she could get a word in.

When she stood back up to full height, the perp was being cuffed on the floor with a dangerously angry Jamie shoving him around.

"Reagan. Reagan!" Eddie yelled, trying to get his attention.

He looked up, horror written across his pale face, half expecting to see her dead and bleeding out on the floor. He immediately dropped the teen and rushed over to her.
"Are you hurt?" He asked with worry etched into his face, running his hands over any vulnerable places her vest didn't cover.

"I'm good. Really, Reagan." Eddie huffed but then she noticed the blood on the side of Jamie's head and the shaking in his hands. "Jamie you're bleeding." She whispered.
He pressed a hand to the side of his head and winced, his throat dry, his eyes glazed and his nerves fried he simply answered, "We're okay."

The partners reached out at the same time, reaching for a much needed hug and confirmation that they were both still in one piece. As Eddie hugged him she began to feel like she was holding most of the weight, she placed a tender hand on the side of his face that wasn't damaged, "Reagan you're burning up."

"Your hand is nice." Jamie mumbled in her arms. He took a deep breath and slumped against her, Eddie not being strong enough to hold up Jamie, slowly lowered them both to their knees.

That was the second the older Reagan stormed in to find his unconcious bleeding brother in Janko's arms.

Danny stumbled forward, tripping over himself and pushing other officers out of the way to get to his kid brother.

"He's not..." Danny's voice cracked.

Eddie quickly realized he was addressing her, "No. No, he's alright. Just passed out. Got pistol whipped."

Danny breathed a sigh of relief, the blood on his brothers face wasn't from a gun shot to the head.

Danny knelt next to his brother and his brother's partner, he reached a tentative hand out and stroked Jamie's hair. Jamie mumbled something but stayed where he was, his head resting on eddies shoulder with his arms wrapped around her, kneeling on the floor. Both Eddie and Jamie seemed reluctant to move so Danny just kept his hand on his brother's head.

"He's burning up." Danny said, worried. "He sick?"

Janko glanced up at him, remembering how Jamie had gotten himself into this whole mess, "He sneezed when he was trying to catch the perp off guard. He's been off all day but he's got a fever now."

Danny shook his head, "let's get him up."

Jamie was basically dead weight as Danny dragged him to his feet and picked his younger brother up like he weighed no more than Sean or jack. Jamie's head still dangled uselessly over the crook of Danny's elbow and his arm hung limply, swinging back and forth as Danny carried him outside to the ambulance.

Eddie swallowed the lump in her throat, Jamie would be fine, he was just out of it.

xxxxx

She smiled when she heard the sound of Jamie's voice carry over the many officers on scene.

"Danny, let go. I'm fine. I'm just tired." Jamie whined.

"You will get in this ambulance and go to the hospital now. You're sick Jammers, please just go get your head checked out." Danny pleaded with him, the tone Danny used wasn't something Eddie had ever heard before. It worried her, it was the voice Danny might use on a victim, she shuddered.

Renzuilli tapped her shoulder, "Hey mind giving me a statement?"

Eddie trained her eyes on Jamie whose hands were still shaking, "Can I just talk to my partner quick?"

The Sargent shook his head, "Reagan needs to get his head on straight first. He's in shock."

"What do you mean?" Eddie snapped at him, "We're alright. Everything is fine."

"He said you were shot at."

"It wasn't a real gun! It was an airsoft gun. The kid shot me two in the chest one in the neck. I was hunched over for a couple seconds but I'm fine, were fine." Eddie answered exasperated.

Renzuilli's eyes widened, "The neck?"

"Yeah but I'm fine." Eddie showed him the small bruise next to her jugular, "it's no big deal."

"No, no. That's why the little Reagan is losing it! Stay here."

Eddie opened her mouth to complain.

"That's an order." Sarge said forcefully, making his way over to the Reagan brothers.

"Jamie." Sarge said quietly, noting the younger mans shaking hands and Danny's worried expression, "It's alright kid, Eddie is fine." He spoke slowly, laying a gentle hand on the younger Reagan's shoulder.

Renzuilli leaned next to Danny's ear and whispered, "Eddie got shot in the neck with an airsoft bullet. I think the kid is flashing back to Vinnie."

Danny looked up at the Sargent with a knowing expression, "He hasn't told her about his last partner yet."

Danny shook his kid brothers shoulders to wake him up out of his daze. The blood for the most part had been cleared off his face and the EMTs had patched up the side of his face with butterfly stitches. As far as the professionals could tell, the kid didn't have a concussion, he was just in shock and had a fever.

The kid sneezed again, "Where's Eddie?" He asked for the hundredth time.

Danny gave the Sarge a pitiful look, "Can you get his partner for me?"

Sarge watched as the older Reagan helped Jamie sit up and prop him up on his shoulder. Then the Sargent turned to go find Eddie and bring her back to her emotionally wrung out partner for what was about to be a long conversation.

Eddies face lit up as soon as the sarge started coming her way, "I need to talk to him." She demanded.

"I know, just don't freak him out okay? Gentle." The Sargent added as he led her toward the Reagans.

Jamie shot her a lopsided half smile but all she could see was his shaking hands.
"You all good partner?" Eddie asked.

Jamie nodded his head, "Ready to go home."

Eddie had a feeling that wasn't happening with his glossy eyes and the bandages on his head but Danny shocked her by asking if she would take Jamie home.

She nodded in response and led the smaller Reagan back to their squad car, he had his arm slipped over her shoulders but she could tell by the grimace in his face that he wasn't feeling well at all.

Danny pulled her aside before she slipped into the drivers seat, "He's not concussed but he's sick. Could you um, stay with him?" He asked quietly. "He's got something he has to tell you but it's his secret." He shoved his number into her hand, "Call me if he gets worse." He subtly nodded his head towards his younger brother's shaking hands.

"I will." Eddie replied wondering what could have both Reagans so spooked.

"Bye kid. Don't give Janko any trouble." Danny patted Jamie's head goodbye, mouthing 'fever' at Eddie as he walked away.

Jamie barely noticed his brother leave, his eyes were already closed and his breathing had evened out.

Eddie smiled, it wasn't often Jamie let his older brother act like his older brother or let Danny get away with calling him kid.

Eddie drove back to the station and they quickly switched cars to drive to Jamie's place. Once there, Eddie basically dragged Jamie into his own apartment and set him gently down on the couch. Jamie was barely awake when he collapsed on his couch and curled on to his side. Eddie put a hand on Jamie's forehead again, he was hot to the touch but he shivered in the cold evening air. She didn't have a lot of practice caring for sick people but she knew enough that sick people needed to stay hydrated and warm so she fetched a couple blankets from Jamie's bedroom and draped them over his shivering frame.

She sat down next to him, "Hey Reagan." She whispered in a sing song voice, pushing his hair back from his face, "I heard you have a secret for me." He didn't budge, she sighed and leaned back against the couch cushions, allowing Jamie's head to rest in her lap and her fingers to card through his hair.

xxxxxxxxx

"Vinny!" Eddie heard the soft cry.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry." The shaking lump in her lap cried.

It took her a few minutes to register the fact that it was Jamie in her lap and that she was at his apartment and they were in his couch... Sleeping together. She smiled lightly, this was new ground for both of them. She had a small feeling that Jamie's older brother had a hand in what was happening here and didn't seem to mind the borderline unprofessional situation her and his younger brother were in.

Eddie gently shook the younger Reagan awake, "Reagan, wake up."

"Mmmmm?" He groaned in response.

"Ya heard me Reagan."

"Eddie?" Jamie asked breathlessly. "Eddie what happened?"

"You got pistol whipped when you sneezed and gave yourself away Mr. NYPD."

Jamie's cheeks flushed in embarrassment, remembering clearly the piece of metal being slapped across the side of his head. "Concussion?" He asked.

Eddie shook her head and let him try to remember what had happened on his own, she felt his shaking start up again.

"You were shot." His voice cracked, "in the neck. You're dead. Just like Vinny, you're dead too."

Janko gently took hold of his wrists but he was struggling against her now, "I'm fine. We're all okay. The gun wasn't real." She soothed.

"No, you're dead. And Vinny and Joe and Ma. You're all dead. I failed you." Jamie's breaths came out in short painful pants, he could feel panic attack coming on, he tried to calm himself but his head injury was making him disoriented and his body felt too warm.

He felt his partner kneel in front of him, slipping her hands into either side of his face and releasing his wrists. She felt real, not dead. Vinny had been cold and slick with blood but his partner felt warm and he could feel the warmth radiating off of her soft skin.

"Who's Vinny?" His partner asked.

Jamie felt his throat start to close up, he hadn't told her about losing Vinny it had felt too soon.

"He was a uh cop, a good cop. And we were shot at and I ducked and Vinny for shot in the neck." Jamie stumbled over his words, "He bled out in my arms.". Feeling weak he whispered, "I tried. Tried everything. It just wouldn't stop. It's my fault."

Eddie held his face to her chest, letting him sob into her shirt. "We're okay." She repeated. But even as she said it, she had a feeling that they weren't okay. His entire body was trembling with sobs and he was burning with fever.

She didn't know what to do, she dialed Danny.

"You need to get here now," she told Jamie's older brother, "I don't know what to do."

Danny voice sounded softer on the line, "Eddie I'm in the middle of a bust. I can't make it, just tell me what's wrong."

Eddie composed herself quickly, "He's really warm. Too warm." She lowered her voice, "He keeps saying that I'm dead. Dead like Vinny and Joe."

There was silence on Danny's end of the line for a few minutes, "I assume you know what happened to Joe?" He asked.

Eddie nodded, "He was your brother."

"Vinny was Jamie's last rookie, lost him in a shooting and the kid just bottled it up. I mean for chrissake the cop died in the kid's arms. He's entitled to be a little salty." Danny tried to explain.

They were both silent for a little while until Danny spoke, "Get a cold cloth for that fever, try to bring it down a little. Make him get some sleep and I'll swing by around 6 am when I get off?"

Eddie thanked him and hung up, fetching a cold bowl of water, some medicine, and a wash cloth from Reagans kitchen.

"Let's try this again, huh?" She approached Jamie like he was a wild animal.

He had a defeated look in his eyes but he still fought her, "I'm not taking that."

Eddie glanced at the bottle of Motrin in her hand, "it'll make you feel better." She told him.

"It'll put me to sleep. I can't go to sleep."

She could her the rising panic in his voice, he meant nightmares. "I'll be right here." She promised, "nothing bad will happen. But you're sick and you need to take something to keep the fever down."

"I'm good." Jamie said shaking his head, "Please, don't make me go to sleep."

He was begging her now and she could feel her heart twist in her chest, he didn't beg for anything.

She said his name sadly, "At least lie back and let me help you a little." She showed him the cold bowl of water and cloth.

He slowly agreed and leaned back into his couch, still watching her every move as if she would slip the Motrin into his drink if he let his guard down.

"Lay down," she commanded, "just relax." She dunked the cloth and wrung it out, placing it on his forehead.

He let out a small sigh, "Eddie?" He whispered.

"Yeah?"

"I can't."

"Can't what?" She sucked in a breath.

"I can't lose you. You can't die on me. I've lost too many people." Jamie's confession came tumbling out, "I can't lose another person. Least of all you."

Eddie gently wiped some of the tear streaks off her partners face with the cloth, "You're not going to lose me."

"That's what they all said." Jamie spoke bitterly.

She didn't answer, she knew she couldn't guarantee anything about being safe in their line of work. Instead, she patted her partners forehead with the cold compress and hoped his fever and his head would get better before she had to answer any more tough questions. Eddie knew that part of Jamie's upsetting and uncharacteristic behavior was the shock talking, his too high fever, and being smacked too hard in the face but the other part of her knew that what he said was really how he felt. He had reason to be worried about people dying on him, the only family he had that was safe from police work was his mother and sister and his mother died of cancer despite that. It was enough to make even Eddie feel lonely.

"Is there anything else I can do for you?" Eddie asked gently.

Jamie flashed her a shy smile with his eyes closed, "Is it alright to ask my partner to lay with me?"

Eddie froze, "I don't know if that's strictly by the book, Reagan."

"I like you a lot more than I like the book." He answered honestly.

"Reagan." She said in a warning tone.

"Janko." He answered in his husky voice, and for chrissake she was falling for it.

She swallows the lump in her throat, "It's the fever talking."

"It's not."

Janko stares at the floor, for once in her life she was out of words. She felt a rough hand brush against hers, without thinking, she gripped it tight because through thick and thin, they anchored each other. The feel of his hand was something she would always recognize, no matter if she was passed out or missing all the nerves in her body, she knew that touch.

"I need you Eddie." He spoke up, reminding her of when she told him the same thing after she killed her first perp.

"Eddie I promise you. I'm always going to need you, partners or not."

Eddie held her breath when he let go of her hand, Jamie thought that she didn't need him like that.

She did. She always would. So she leaned forward and snaked a hand over his chest and placed the other on his jaw line, minding the bloody mess on the side of his face. Then she kissed him, slowly and gently, until he kissed her back. She felt his arms around her, not nearly as strong as they usually were but she was just happy to be in them.

"I need you too." She said as they broke apart.

He kept his arms wide enough that she knew it was an invitation for her to lay with him. She slid onto the couch and wrapped an arm around his torso. They were quiet for a while, just appreciating the sound of each other's breathing and the rise and fall of their chests.

Then Eddie heard a little snore, she smiled, the first genuine smile today, and she snuggled deeper into the blankets against Jamie. Eventually her eyes started to close, Jamie's fever was like a heater in the cold December of New York and she found that it was the best sleep she'd had in a long time.

Xxxxxxxx

Danny rushed to get home from the job at exactly 6:30 am he pulled up to Jamie's apartment and snagged his extra key from his console and the soup he brought. He stormed up the stairs half expecting to find Eddie and Jamie at each other's throats, when his brother was sick, he became very stubborn and that wouldn't clash well with Eddies strong personality.

He turned the key in the lock and let his eyes adjust to the dark apartment, he glanced at the kid's couch and laughed out loud.

Jamie and Eddie were tangled up on Jamie's tiny couch. Eddies head rested on his brothers chest, their arms wrapped around eachother like ribbon, completely intertwined.

When Eddie heard Danny laugh she opened her eyes, startled, "Hi! Officer... Sarge... Detective... Danny. Hi Danny." She corrected herself.

"Looks like you two had a good night." He observed nodding at his passed out younger brother who still had his hands wrapped around eddies waist even though she was sitting up now.

"It's not what it looks like!" Eddie blushed turning scarlet, untangling herself from Jamie's grip.

"Please officer Janko, I'm a detective. I hear that lie all the time." Danny said with a grin, "you're insulting my detective skills."

Eddie bit her lip and stood up, "He told me what happened to Vinny."

"I know."

"You can't get killed on the job, he can't take it." She said.

"What are you talking about? I'm safe. It's you two on the beat we gotta worry about." Danny said.

Eddie flashed back to last night and Jamie's big blue begging eyes, begging her and everyone to stay in his life, that he'd had enough loss for a lifetime.

"Last night... He freaked out, he thought I was dead like Vinny, your mom, and Joe. He was crying saying that he failed us... He can't take any more loss. I won't let him." She felt her eyes well up with tears at the thought, "Dont let him bury another brother."

Danny swallowed hard, "I didn't know."

"Didn't know what?" Jamie's voice startled them, his throat was a bit scratchy and his eyes were still a little bit puffy as he groaned and wiped sleep out of them.

Danny grinned, "That you were sleeping with your partner Rookie Reagan!"

"I-it's-God Danny-you just lost your key privileges." Jamie stuttered.

Danny laughed, "Alright kid no need to get worked up. I'm just bustin' your chops."

As if on cue, Eddie sneezed.

Danny nearly peed himself laughing as he watched the realization dawn on Jamie's face, then eddies as the two quickly found that their secret was out.

"Aw Kid, I guess you will be making six figures after all."

Jamie shot him a confused look.

"Playing doctor." Danny finished with a wink and a grin on his face.

Danny had never seen anyone turn red as fast as Jamie. "Bye kid. Eddie. See you two love birds at Sunday dinner."

And with that, Danny exited his brothers apartment, as soon as both his feet were out the door, he whipped out his cell phone.
"Erin you will never believe who I just caught little Jammers with!"