BB15: Hello-o-o Fanfiction Dot Net! Man, it's great to be back in Cleveland. See, over the weekend I went to New York City! You know, because it's so close by. (Seven. Hours. In a car. Ugh.) But one good thing came out of the trip though! (Aside from going to the Big Apple, splurging, flirting with locals, and seeing a show at the Circle In A Square.)

E4E: Flirting? He wishes. Dude got lost, went in a circle, and nearly got bumped by a Toyota.

BB15: ...You led me in that circle...

E4E: Because I thought it was the TGI Fridays on Seventh! Not Fifth!

BB15: Details! Anyway, if you haven't guessed yet, we met face to face! ...Not that this text helps prove that.

E4E: After 3 years of being FF buddies!

BB15: Damn, nearly four years isn't it?

E4E: Yep! He still owes me some cash for the pizza and pretzel...after I swindled a cheaper price for them. But hey, that's how NYC works.

BB15: I'll fax it over to you.

E4E: That's what they all day, darn kids and their hip-hop and hula hoops.

BB15: You damn well respect my hippity hop and my hula hoops!

E4E: At least we got matching Zelda shirts. If you heard the first Zelda rap from Starbomb, yeah, that's what the shirts were about.

BB15: Game Grumps F. T. W.

The Kross Kings: And now please enjoy our newest release!

Disclaimer: We don't own shit! Really, we're broke. If we had even one percentage of RT shares for RWBY or could claim we had the artistic skill of Miyamoto when it came to Naruto, we'd be richer than we are now.

Tinker, Trainer, Huntsman, Why Not?

1: The Break In

It was a quiet night for the students of Beacon. Was being the operative term.

The day before had ended their first week in classes and many of the uncertain members who'd passed Beacon's initiation had decided whether or not their studies would persist. Teams with shaky starts had slowly started to meld, and those with even better beginnings were even tighter knit.

However, the story does not yet concern these students, as our hero is actually hiding outside the grounds of Beacon Academy, concealed within the campus' surrounding shrubbery.

"Okay Q, listen up. Dis how it gonna go down." A youth's voice said as he unrolled a white sheet of paper onto the grassy ground. Beside him was a floating egg that was about a foot tall and almost ten inches at its widest point. It was primarily red with one vertical stripe of black around a solitary red light. The youth frowned at the egg when it let out a series of high pitched beeps and boops.

"Don't give me any of that crap, Q. I'll talk however I want to talk! Gangsta is the current trend. And I do not sound stupid, thank you very much. Who do you take me for? Sasuke?"

The egg beeped in disapproval, its lone red 'eye' dimming partially as though to glare at the youth accusingly.

"You're one ugly motherfucker." A heavily accented voice muttered in disgust and disbelief.

"Buddy, if sis heard you say that, she'd wash out your hard-drive with soap. That probably wouldn't end well for you." The youth huffed while the egg let out a fearful whirr and shuddered. The youth sighed and patted the top of the egg, bouncing it lightly in the air as he did. "Sorry, Q. I've been planning this all week, so we gotta make it work and I gotta look cool! Otherwise, how else am I going to get into Beacon?"

The egg let out another beep and the youth scoffed.

"'Wait three years'? Um, no offense, pal, but when have I ever been the patient type?" He grumbled as he looked back at his diagram. "I'll get in this way and show them how awesome I am. Sides, Sis told me a girl a bit older than me made it in! It can't be that hard."

The egg whirred quizzically.

"...Yeah, still, uh, still working on that whole part of how I'm going to show them how awesome I am…" The youth mumbled. The egg floated over to him and nuzzled into his side. The youth cracked a grin and rubbed its shell with his hand. "Hey, don't worry about me, bud. I came this far, and I won't be stopped by something as small as that, right?"

A sharp whistle and chirp came out of the egg as it danced away from the youth's hand before the speaker frizzed and an old gravelly voice popped through: "Let's Roll Out!"

"Now that's the spirit, Q." The youth chuckled and looked back down at his paper. He brushed a hand over one corner of it and pursed his lips while his eyes narrowed in thought. A few seconds of staring and he cracked a grin. His grin, and his eyes, brightened considerably before another laugh escaped his lips. The egg tilted in the air and its eyelight flickered as a quizzical whirr came from its speakers.

"Hell," the youth said as he folded the paper up. His grin still in place as he tucked the plans away, the youth looked at the egg. "I'm gonna do what I always do whenever I go to a new school. I'm going to raise Hell."

The egg released a startled and worried beep.

"Don't you do it!" A high male voice warned.

"Imma do it."

"Don't you do it!"

"Q, you can't talk me out of this. It's going to get do-ed." The youth stood from his hiding spot in the foliage and stepped out into the moonlight.

He was indeed a youth, easily only thirteen or fourteen years old, and still had a round face from childish chub. Wild blond hair sprouted from his head, kept out of his face by a set of high-tech goggles that rested on his forehead. Bright blue eyes gleamed mischievously and whisker-marked cheeks were spread wide by the boy's toothy smile. He wore a loose orange T-shirt underneath a dark leather cuirass with a thick left shoulder plate that bore a black hand atop a red spiral. This same symbol was imprinted on the back of his two leather arm guards that had orange metal bands near the wrists. At his waist was a slate grey utility belt, with box-like pouches all around that were just slightly larger than a deck of cards. The belt held up a pair of black, multi-pocketed, utilitarian pants that fell over dark leather sandals.

"Alright Beacon Academy…" The youth reached up and pulled his goggles down over his eyes. He pressed a small button on the left side of the band that made them give off a small whir as the lenses focused and gave off a gentle glow in the frame. The youth reached into his belt and pulled out several small marble-sized balls. "Let's see how you handle Mistral's Tinkering Terror."

"KOBRA! ATTACK!" A hissing voice shrieked quietly from the egg. The youth grinned.

"I knew hacking you into the CCT mainframe was a good idea."

He threw the balls down and both were encased in massive clouds of smoke. A second later and heavy coughing could be heard several feet away as the youth ran into the Academy.

"Q, make a note." The youth coughed. "Too much smoke generated by smoke grenades!"

"Well no shit, Sherlock."

"Don't you... get smart with me, Q."

"Well, that's odd." A lanky man with obscenely large glasses murmured to himself rapidly. He was just out to patrol the school grounds, double checking that students were in their dorms and that the library was locked for the night, when he noticed a dim glow come from one of the classrooms. This man was Doctor Bartholomew Oobleck, a teacher of Remnant's history currently employed at Beacon Academy.

Dr. Oobleck went to the door, shifting his trusty thermos from one hand to the other as he grabbed the doorknob and pushed the door open.

"All right, now, who's breaking curfew this...time…" Oobleck trailed off and nearly dropped his thermos.

The classroom walls had been decorated with propaganda for some sort of cult or group that was focused on something called "The Hand". "All Hail The Hand!" "The Hand is God!" "Why Do You Resist The Hand!?" and more were common among the various posters depicting a blackened appendage.

"What in blazes is this-this-this nonsense?!"

"Hey! I worked on each and every one of these for a good ten minutes yesterday!"

Oobleck's head snapped towards the speaker, finding a short individual with goggles and spiky blond hair. The young man seemed to realize that he was now out of his hiding spot among the top row of seats and scratched the back of his head.

"Uh, oops...smoke bomb!" Three orbs were tossed Oobleck's way by the youth, and were it not for his natural speed, the good doctor would not have been able to react in time to avoid them. His dive into the room however did cause Oobleck to lose sight of the young intruder, who rushed out through the smoke with his arm over his mouth.

Oobleck pushed himself from the classroom floor and dusted off his night shirt.

"Well...I suppose I should inform Professor Ozpin about this. Hm, if I'd know the Professor, he'd wish to wake a few of our first years and make this a test for them." Oobleck mused to himself. A small smile made its way across the doctor's face. "Might as well go over his head. Just this once. Who knows, he may give me a sample of his Mantle Morning Joe mix if I do this right."

(Line Break)

A good hour later and several of the newest teams to join Beacon were roused from their slumber by the eccentric professor. All still in their pajamas and their eyes lined with the earliest signs of sleep, one team made their way to the main hall where they'd receive more information.

"What's going on anyway?" A young girl with a red cloak draped over her pajamas yawned out as she sluggishly followed her team. A yelp escaped her when she was bonked on the head by the white haired member of her team.

"Pay attention for once, Ruby." The white haired girl wearing a nightgown frowned, while the younger girl rubbed her abused head. "Professor Oobleck told us an intruder has gotten into the school. So we have to act fast. Even if we're...indecent."

"Oh, lay off of Rubes. It's too late in the night for her to suffer Weiss Abuse." The buxom girl with long flowing blonde hair pointed out.

"Are you proud of that one, Yang?" The mature looking girl with a bow atop her head and wearing only a short yukata asked. The white haired girl, Weiss, glared dully at the back of the blonde's head when she grinned.

"I thought it was decent considering we're not." Yang chirped. She yawned and stretched her arms above her head. "Man, I'm so tired…"

"At least there's no class tomorrow so we can sleep in once whatever this is is done." The yukata wearing girl muttered. She grunted when Yang threw an arm over her shoulder.

"That's what I love about you, Blake. Always so optimistic." Yang grinned as they entered the main room where the professor told them to meet up.

"Professor Oobleck!" A girl with long red hair gained the teacher's attention as she walked into the hall.

"Doctor."

"Doctor Oobleck." The girl corrected herself. "Can you tell us what the intruder looked like?"

"Hm," The green haired man stroked his chin. "Male, child, spiky blond hair, goggles. Really, before the smoke bomb, that was all I could see."

"Whoa, he's like a ninja…" An orange haired girl muttered in awe. She nudged the dark haired boy beside her and grinned. "Bet you got this one, Ren."

"Mm…" The boy hummed tiredly. "We'll see, Nora."

"Did he have a katana?" Ruby asked eagerly.

"Ninja's use ninjatos, Ruby."

"Oh, right."

"Hey, Pyrrha, what's wrong?" A lanky blond boy asked the frowning redhead beside him.

"Oh, nothing! Just...thinking, Jaune." Pyrrha smiled at him. "Sorry if I made you worried. I'm fine."

"Well, if you say so." Jaune shrugged and scratched at the back of his shoulder under his footie pajamas. The sight made a few of the other students snort or smirk in amusement, but due to his current state of half-slumber, Jaune didn't care.

"Now, students, bare in mind that while an intruder on the grounds is a terrible, terrible situation - A child no less, how disgraceful - bare in mind that all efforts should go into subduing and capturing. I will say this only once: the use of lethal measures will absolutely not be permitted on a citizen of Vale, especially a child."

"So, we can't crack his skull open for making us get up right now?" a tall and burly boy asked irritably.

"No, Mister Winchester."

"...Are weggies fair game?"

"If you feel the need to, as long as the intruder isn't critically harmed. We still need to determine the reason why he broke into the school."

"So don't give the shrimp an atomic one, got it."

High above in the rafters, overlooking the awoken students' and the professor's conversation, the young infiltrator in question felt his eye twitch.

"Shrimp? I'm not a shrimp. Just haven't hit my growth spurt yet. Razzle-frazzle, mother-lovin', sonova…" The youth grumbled darkly before he dug around in one of the pockets sewn into his pants. "Q, kill the lights in the room."

The egg beeped before it floated over to a previously accessed panel of circuitry. A small spark drifted between the egg's red eye and the panel before the lights cut out.

"Hey, the lights!"

"Ah!"

"Ow, Cardin you ass! That was my foot!"

"Shut up, Lark! It wasn't like I meant to drop my mace!"

"Someone get their Scroll out and turn the light on!"

"Whose hand was that!?"

"Sorry, my bad Blake."

"Why would your hand go there, Yang?!"

"I was trying to grab Ruby's arm!"

"Protect me cloak!"

"Ruby, that's my nightgown!"

"Students, calm yourselves!" Doctor Oobleck announced. He rubbed his eyes beneath his glasses in embarrassment. "Honestly, you're Huntsmen and Huntresses in training, try and act a little more professional!"

A figure dropped down from above in front of Winchester. Over his face was green mask that was easily four times the size of a normal person's head. It had a orange swirly left eye, an oversized right eye, and a purple warty nose that looked like a purple pickle.

"OOGA BOOGA BOOGA!" The figure screamed as it jumped into Team CRDL's faces.

Winchester let out a shrilly scream, jumped into the air, and landed in his mohawked partner's arms, similar . The rest of his team screamed in similar manners and ran back for their dorm room. A dumbfounded Dr. Oobleck rubbed his temples while the other teenagers quickly jumped into each other's arms and let out similar screams, but didn't run.

Though, Jaune did faint into a wide-eyed Pyrrha's arms.

The mask was tossed aside. The youth behind it held his stomach as he pointed at the retreating older boy and laughed.

"Oh, man! Q! Did you see the looks on their faces!? Tell me we recorded that!" The boy laughed again as his egg floated down and a hovering video screen popped out from its eyelight. The scene that just occured played again and the blond boy fell to his back, kicking the air and holding his sides.

The egg let out a series of beeps and boops, almost as if it were giggling.

"So going online!" The boy gasped out as he climbed back to his feet and lifted the goggles up to wipe the tears from his eyes. "Ahh...that was great. I think we're done here-ow! Ow! Ow! OW!"

"Just what do you think you're doing?!" Pyrrha said furiously, her fingers expertly grabbing the boy's ear and pulling it into the air.

"Ow! Pyrrha! Let go-o-o!" The boy whined while he struggled to grab onto the girl's wrist as he was forced to stand on his toes.

"I don't think so! Do you have any idea of what kind of trouble that you're in, Naruto?"

Ruby hugged Weiss and let out a whimper. "Not the ear pull, Dad! Not the ear pull!"

The white haired girl gulped at seeing Pyrrha's mastery of such a frightful skill. She hadn't even seen the Mistral champion move!

"We were just playing around, Pyrrha!" The boy, Naruto, complained.

"You snuck into one of the four most prestigious Huntsmen and Huntresses academies! For what?! To play some pranks!? What are you even doing in Vale!? Does Mr. Brunner even know you're here!?" Pyrrha exclaimed, her emerald eyes now a glowing jade in the darkness.

"...I'd like to plead the fifth-Ow!" Naruto's eyes screwed shut when he was lifted off the ground by his ear. His feet kicked the air and his hands gripped tightly onto her arm. "Ow! Ow! Ow!"

"Naruto Nikos! You are in so much trouble!" Pyrrha scolded the boy.

"Say what?!" All of the surrounding teams cried out with astonished looks on their faces. Even Dr. Oobleck seemed thrown off guard by the revelation of the intruder's identity. The teacher in question stepped forward and looked at the redheaded student.

"Based off of the structure of his cheekbones and the similar shape of both of your eyes, I take it he is your younger brother, Ms. Nikos?" Oobleck asked.

"My troublemaking little brother, yes." Pyrrha said with a frown aimed at the whiskered blond.

"Somebody with boobs, save me!" Naruto reached out for the girls, trying to look as adorable and needy as possible. His eyes became big and wide, with the hints of tears starting to form at the corners.

"Don't stare too long!" Pyrrha warned sternly to her fellow females. Green eyes stared intimidatingly at the top of her brother's head. "He's a crafty one."

"Ohh...my head…" Jaune muttered as he got back to his feet.

His sudden return to the world of consciousness drew Naruto's attention away from the pretty older girls around him and his 'face' crumbled. Naruto immediately bit onto his lips and his cheeks bulged while his shoulders shook from suppressed laughter.

"Huh, Pyrrha, you caught the intruder?" Jaune asked as he got to his feet. He grinned and put his hands on his hips, his chest puffed out. "Another win for Team JNPR. Nice job, Pyrrha!"

A snort escaped Naruto and his hands moved from his sister's wrist to clamp over his mouth. Another snort, then a snicker, and finally a chuckle followed. Then, it seemed he couldn't handle any more and he burst into bouts of laughter. His hands wrapped around his sides, his eyes squeezed shut, and tears fell down his cheeks.

"That's...That's the...That's the best thing I've ever seen!" Naruto gasped out. He continued to laugh while he was leveled with confused looks by the older students around him. They looked at Pyrrha, who still held him by his ear, and who now had a hand over her reddening face.

Finally, Pyrrha began to walk away, dragging her still laughing younger brother with her by his collar.

"You're going on the first Bulkhead in the morning! Now stop making more of a scene!"

"Fine! Sure! Whatever! But those pajamas! That's awesome!" The boy cried out around his giggles while his egg floated along after him. Jaune blinked and looked at his friends.

"Uh...Did I miss something?"

"...It is way too late for this." The dark haired boy, Ren, mumbled as he turned around and followed Pyrrha back towards the bedrooms. The orange haired girl, Nora, looked at Jaune for a moment before she cracked a grin and snickered. She started to laugh and followed Ren, her hands resting over her stomach, leaving a confused Jaune with the still shell shocked girls of Team RWBY.

"What's so funny? Guys? Come on! Clue me in!" Jaune cried out as he rushed after the rest of his team.

"And you said he seemed very skilled?" Asked a smartly dressed white haired man with small rounded glasses resting on his nose and a green scarf around his neck. He was currently riding an elevator to his office with Dr. Oobleck and a woman alongside him.

"What Miss Nikos shared prior to their departure for the cafeteria this morning was that he literally hacked our system." Oobleck told the two before he took a sip of his seventh cup of coffee. He'd been up since the boy arrived, checking across campus and stumbling across other...surprises left by Naruto Nikos. "And the boy certainly covered a lot of ground in the few hours he was here."

"Did he have a series of codes? Where was he connected? Has he shared this information with anyone else?" The woman asked.

"No. According to what he's said, Ozpin, Young Naruto Nikos seemingly crossed with some wires and, as he stated, 'fiddled around' for some time to gain access to our mainframe."

"Fiddled?" The woman repeated incredulously.

"Fiddled." Oobleck nodded.

"Hm." Ozpin hummed before he took a sip from his mug. "That is ...Interesting."

"I was afraid you'd say that." The woman mumbled. She looked down at the tablet that rested in her arm and began to slide her fingers across the screen. "According to his records, he's been detained by Mistral's Juvenile Department for multiple instances of cyber warfare, but no charges were able to stick. No less than thirty companies had been bankrupted and almost fifty sites that fell into the... adult film industry were completely erased from the CCT archives, and any employees involved have been blacklisted by the Mistral Government."

"Adult Film...Well, that should be obvious." Ozpin chuckled. Oobleck immediately curled his lip in disgust. A brief moment passed before the woman blinked and scowled.

"That's disgusting! She would've been underage!"

"Indeed. You can see why those charges never stuck." Ozpin mused as he looked out the elevator's slowing window. "Anything aside from Cybercrimes?"

"Property damage files that could fill a Bulkhead and a half." The woman said as she scrolled through the rest of the list. "Mostly covered by insurance companies and a woman named Anne Phibian."

"Sounds like amphibian, poor woman." Oobleck muttered when the elevator doors dinged.

"Quite…" Ozpin mumbled as his eyes narrowed in thought. He turned and walked down the hall to his office. "Doctor Oobleck, do you think you could catch up to Ms. Nikos and ask that she belay sending her younger brother away?"

"Is this a rhetorical question or a request?" Oobleck asked.

"The latter, if you don't mind."

"Not at all, Ozpin. A good morning to you, and to you as well, Professor Goodwitch."

"Thank you, Bartholomew." The woman, Goodwitch, said with a small smile as the man sipped his drink and let the doors close on him before the elevator descended. She quickly fell in step with the Headmaster of Beacon Academy and looked through the rest of Naruto Nikos' records.

"He's a year younger than Ms. Rose."

"Yes, and academically, he may face some struggle." Ozpin conceded. He looked down at the keypad outside of his office and entered in his code. "However, I'm sure he'll manage surprise us."

"I don't know, Ozpin. This might be even more of a stretch of the boundaries, even for you." Goodwitch frowned. "His grades aren't...abysmal, but they're not exactly the greatest, either."

"Nor were mine. Or Qrow's. Yet here we are." Ozpin smiled as he opened the doors and stepped into his office. As soon as he did, his coffee mug fell out of his hands and his eyes widened. Goodwitch nearly dropped hold of her tablet had she not tightened her grip when she first walked into the room.

"...Professor...Correct me if I'm wrong, but...is that a horse on that flag?"

"Yes. Yes it is, Glynda."

"And...it looks to be dancing."

"I believe it is, yes."

"...Why does it have an...an... erection?"

"...I ...I have no idea."

A moment of silence ensued.

"You did say he might surprise us-"

"Yes, but this isn't exactly what I had in mind."

"Do you want me to call Oobleck back?"

"No. I would most certainly like to speak with Mr. Nikos now more than ever." Ozpin cupped his chin and rested his elbow in his other hand. "I'd like to know how he managed to break into my office and then lock it again. And if he could break in here, where else had he managed to get into?"

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