Lexa's POV

Today marks the last day of Sophomore year and i couldn't be more happy. No teachers, no homework, no stupid classmates, just two and a half months of pure fun and relaxation.

At least that's what i have planned.

I'm in my back yard laying on the grass looking up at the orange and pink hues of the sky, the classic California evening sky.

I've been thinking about something lately, well more like every single day since i found out i was gay. That was last year and i've never told anyone. Not a soul. Not even to my best friend, Clarke, who i trust my deepest darkest secrets to. She's sort of part of the secret too.

But, i've decided to tell her today when she gets here for our end of the school year traditional sleepover. At least half the secret.

"Hey, Lexa!" I hear to my left.

I turn my head slighty and see the graceful smile of none other than my best friend, Clarke. I smile at her as i get up into a sitting poistion and wrap my arms around my knees. "Hey, Clarke."

"I got my sleeping bag, snacks, drinks, and movies. I even got your favorite movie of ALL time." She says dramatically while making her way to me and dropping her night bag in front of my feet before sitting on it. She had a smirk on her face.

I looked at her with a strange look. "And what movie is that?" I asked cautiously.

She jumped up into the air and screamed, "Friend Request!"

I shook my head and let out a dry laugh, that was so not my favorite movie. That was her favorite movie and i didn't even know why. She knows i don't like horror movies, yet she always finds a way to get me to watch them. "You are so... ugh."

"Good movie, right? We'll watch it tonight. Now come on, lets get the tent and stuff ready before it gets dark." I nod, agreeing with her. Her hands take a hold of my mine and i swear i feel an electric current go through my body. "Al-e-oop!"

We're face to face now and i forget how to breath for a moment.

She's smiling that brilliant white teeth smile of hers. The one she always gives me, where she tilts her head to the side and bits her bottom lip in excitement. Her luscious blonde hair is cascading down her shoulders and to add to all this, the sunset frames her entire face in a warm, beautiful glow.

A tug takes me out of my frozen state and i can feel my legs following Clarke inside my house.

After changing into our pajamas,we gathered all the things we needed for tonight and walked back out into the back yard. I started to set our tent up while Clarke went about preparing the junk food we're gonna stuff our face into for later. As we did our thing, we talked about random topics like we usually do.

"I have a good feeling about this summer, Lexa."

"You think so? Why?"

"I don't know, but i know something huge is gonna happen. Like huge, huge."

"A good huge?"

"Obviously, Lexa." Clarke giggled. "That's why i said a good feeling. Not a bad feeling."

"But how can you tell?" I say standing up and looking at the finished tent. Perfect.

"Mm, girl's intuition?"

I roll my eyes, but smiled. "You say that about everything."

"I do not." I can practically hear the pout in her voice. I make a 180 and see Clarke with her crossed arms and just like i said, a pout was on her lips. "Tell me when."

I cast my eyes up to the sky, tilt my head to the side, and put a finger to my chin while putting on my best thinking face. "Well, there was that time when we went to the amusement park. You said something huge was gonna happen. Then another time when both our familys went camping, you said the exact same thing..."

"And something did happen during both those times."

"Nothing out of the ordinary happened, Clarke. Well other than me getting sunburned both times."

She shook her head at me and started a slow trek towards me with a glint in her blue eyes. I took a step back, moving my gaze from her eyes to the ground in front of me. It didn't take long for me to see her feet right before mine. Suddenly arms wrapped me into a hug.

"You're kind of dumb despite being the top ranked in school, Lexa. We got closer during both those times. You know, telling each others secrets. Knowing each others likes and dislikes. And i think that's pretty huge."

A blush made its way onto my cheeks and i'm glad that Clarke couldn't see my face with her arms around me. I mean, what she said wasn't really relevant to 'girl's intuition' but i didn't really mind her answer. "I-I guess that's right."

"Great!" She said, letting me go. "Now you know. So, let's get the summer started shall we?"

Clarke and i started our sleepover with painting each other nails and going down memory lane from the beginning of the school year until today. Then we began watching the movies Clarke brought on my laptop while eating junk food as we watched one movie after the other. The very last movie was of course Friend Request, which i kept my eyes closed for the entire time, much to Clarke's entertainment.

It was now sometime around 2 am and we're laying in our sleeping bags, looking up at the night sky through the tents window ceiling. The night was quiet and peaceful. Every so often we'd here crickets chirping, but no to the point of it being annoying.

I was slowly getting lost in my thoughts. Through out the sleepover i was trying to figure out when to tell Clarke about me and come out to her. About me liking girls. But i couldn't find an opening.

Scratch that, there were loads of openings, but i was just too chicken to tell her.

I closed my eyes, let out a sigh and frowned.

"Penny for your thoughts?" I hear Clarke ask softly. I turn and lay on my stomach, moving my arms onto my pillow, so i could lay on them and look her. She had a content smile plastered across her face. "So... What's going on in that brilliant head of yours?" She teases.

I don't say anything.

She blinks her eyes a couple times and whispers, "You know you can tell me anything, right Lexa?"

"Of course i know."

"Mhm."

We lay in silence for a couple minutes, her staring at me and me avoiding her stare. Saying absolutely nothing to one another. Things always pan out like this whenever i want to tell Clarke something important. We've been best friends since middle school and she knows that it takes me awhile for me to tell her things. She's always patient with me, even if she can't take the wait and suspense. But she waits. Always. Until I'm ready.

I close my eyes and take a deep breath. "I have something really, really important to tell you." I don't hear an answer so, i continue. "I found this out last summer, but i just needed time for me to take it all in before i could tell you. And i wasn't even sure about it. I was even kind of afraid, but i'm sure now. And your my best friend, so like you're the first person i'll be telling this to. And i just... I'm rambling again."

A giggle escapes her mouth and I can feel her move closer to me before i blurted out, "I'm gay."

Her movements stop and i swear i can feel everything in me just fall apart. This is it. This it where she gets up and runs out the tent to never talk to me ever again.

I can't even open my eyes to look at her. Oh my god. What if it's one of disgust? I can't see that look on her face, ever. Especially if it's towards me. Please, please...

"Lexa." She whispers. "Look at me."

I don't open them. I close them even tighter and i can tell my breathing is becoming uneven. No, please, not right now.

"Lexa, don't cry. It's okay." That's when i feel her arms wrap over my body with her head laying on the top of mine. I open my eyes slowly, my head is nestled in the curve of her neck. Soft hands move up to the back of my head and i can feel the caress of her hands massaging a small part of it. "I don't mind it, you know. You liking girls. You're still the same ol' caring, quiet, funny, awkward, and sarcastic Lexa i've come to known as a best friend and that's all that matters. Don't be afriad. I'm really happy you told me this. You are so brave, Lexa."

I raise my head and look at her through glassy eyes. She's smiling and it isn't forced at all. It's real, and she means it.

How was i so blessed to have someone like Clarke in my life?

"Aren't you glad i didn't say i found a passion for cooking." I say, trying to lift the heavy air around us.

She lets out a laugh. "Thank goodness it wasn't that, 'cause you could kill everyone with your cooking skills."

Months passed after that day and school was now in session.

I felt so relieved that night. When we woke up the next morning, it was like nothing changed. She wasn't weirded out at all. We went about our usual summer shenanigans without a care. Going to amusement parks, the beach, mall, camping in my back yard, swimming at hers. Just like we always do.

Sometimes when we'd go out, she would even tease me whenever a really attractive girl would pass by us. She would nudge me in the side, i'd look at her, she'd wiggle her eyebrows and move her eyes to the girl who passed by, and i would just roll my eyes and laugh, telling her to shut up.

But what she didn't know was that i didn't care about the girls who passed by us. I didn't even bat an eye at them because my gaze was always on someone else.

Her. Clarke.

I was lost in her eyes. Taken by her beauty. Sucked in by her laugh. To make things simple, i was head over heels in love with my best friend.

I didn't plan on telling her because i couldn't bring myself to, but a couple days ago we went to a party and it involved alcohol.

Clarke and i went away from the party's craziness and out to our friends front porch because i'm a light weight and needed some air. There was no one in sight, which was surprising because parties with alcohol and teens meant couples making out everywhere. But no here, probably because they were all in the back where the pool and loud music were blasting. Or even in the house upstairs.

I don't clearly remember how i came to tell her, 'cause i swore we were talking about raccoons, but i told her i liked her and i immediately sobered up after the words left my mouth. My eyes went wide like saucers and i studied her facial expression. Shock. Pure shock.

"I... Lexa."

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." I quickly rushed out. Before she could say anything else, i got up from my seat on the porch and ran back home.

The next day, i woke up with a killer headache and stomach problems. Definitely hungover. Stupid alcohol.

I checked my cell to see what time it was, but noticed i had missed calls and texts from Clarke, asking if i was okay and got home safe. I didn't want to text her. Especially since telling her i liked her the night before. But the best friend in me said i should text her, 'cause i'd be worried if she ran home without giving me a text if she got home safetly. And that's what did, i sent a short text saying i was okay.

Ever since that night we haven't seen or talked much to each other. I was avoiding her and she was avoiding me. Even in the classes we had together, which were practically almost every class, we sat seats away from one another.

Everyone, especially our friends Raven and Octavia were a bit confused about us not being with each other 24/7. There wasn't day where Clarke and i were apart. Never.

It was like this for almost a week, but surprisingly, today after school she chased me down while i was riding my bike home. I almost didn't hear her calling out my name since i had my earbuds in. Luckily i stopped my bike to get a drink from a convenient store and she caught up and said she wanted to talk.

We made our way to our secret spot by a lake near my house and sat down on a big boulder, our backs facing one another. We didn't talk for a full 10 minutes and i couldn't take it. "I'm sorry." I say quietly. "I think i know why you wanted to talk. I understand you know... If you don't want to be friends with me any-"

"No! I would never want that!" She suddenly burst out, standing in front of me with hurt in her eyes. It scared me a bit. She would never yell at me. "I would never want that, Lexa." She said much softer now. "I... I was surprised when you told me you liked me and to tell you the truth i was... I don't know... uncomfortable about it?"

I frowned, hurt by what she said and i caste my gaze down at my feet. I made her uncomfortable, i knew it was too good to be true. She was probably weirded out by me the time i first came out to her and stayed my friend despite her discomfort as to not hurt my feelings. Clarke's nice like that.

"No,no Lexa. I can see you thinking. I know what you're thinking, i didn't care about it when you came out to me in the summer. I promise. Believe me... I Just... when you told me you liked me, i froze and i'm sorry if i hurt your feelings for ignoring you these past few days. But, i need to tell you that i don't feel the same way." She said, sadness clearly in the way she said it.

I nodded. "I understand. I do."

"But, i still want to be best friends, Lexa." This took me by surprise. In the movies and tv shows that i watched about gay best friends confessing to the other, there was practically less than 15% chance at all for them to be friends again. "You're the best thing that's happened to me in this town. I won't let something like this just ruin our friendship. You mean too much to me." She said sincerly.

I smiled at hearing this. 'Cause she meant too much for me too, and i really didn't want my huge crush on her to ruin our friendship either. I took a deep breath and slowly stoop up on the boulder i was on, looking down at her with a small smile on my face. I nodded, swallowing my heartache. I'd rather have her as a best friend than not having her in life any day. "Me too."

She let out a breath i assumed she was holding in, waiting for my answer and i jumped down from the boulder. We stared at each with relieved smiles plastered on our face before we crushed each other in a hug.

Eventually, another couple months passed and things were back to normal between us. Sleep overs, gossiping, shopping, movie nights, parties you name it.

Despite still having a huge crush on Clarke, i was happily content on being just her best friend. And if this is how it's suppsoed to be between us in lifetimes ahead of us, I would gladly accept it in a heartbeat.

It was December now and winter break was just around the corner. Clarke and i are at her place setting a schedule up to figure out days we would hang out. It was tradition.

"I'm visitng my aunt Indra for four days when we get out of school for winter break so i won't be back until Monday that week." I say looking at the caldenar on my phone. We were in Clarke's room. I was laid on her bed while she walked around her room, a pen in her mouth and flash cards in her hand. She was studying for her biology test.

"Okay, cool. We can hang out Monday, or Tuesday or both 'cause Wednesday i leave to visit family in Australia for a couple days."

"When do you come back?"

"Christmas day. You'll be here, right?"

"Nope, i'll be in space fighting A.I's." I say, sarcastically.

I didn't get an answer from her, so i looked up but was hit by a throw pillow. My face was scrunched up with my nose wrinkled and my mouth turned like i ate a lemon. I made a tsking sound and shook my head. If a pillow fight is what she wants, she'll get.

"Oooh, not so funny now, huh Miss Woods."

I didn't even reply before i sprang up from her bed and grabbed one of her larger pillows and slammed it into her face.

"Ack!"

"Don't mess with the Commander, Clarke!" I yelled happily, jumping up and down on her bed. "You already know i win these pillow fights every single time. Today won't be any different."

She whipped the hairs that got in front of her eyes dramatically and tried grabbing at me, which i dodged easily. Every time she launched herself, i'd lightly smack her after her unsuccessful attempts. This made her even frustrated than she already was. It was too damn funny.

"Damn it, Lexa! Stay still."

"No, no. That would mean you winning. I can't let that happen. I have a winning streak. Jus drein jus daun, Griffin!" I laugh out.

That was when her bedroom door opened and her mom's head poked in. "Hi there Lexa." She greeted. "Will you be staying for dinner?"

Clarke and i stopped our little fight. "Hi, Abby. If it's alright with you, i'd love to."

"Of course you're welcome. Dinner will be done in 15." She said and closed the door.

Clarke tilted her head to look up at me, her arms crossed. "You already know my mom adores you. You don't need permission to stay for dinner."

"Nothing wrong with asking for permission. It's courtesy." I shrugged.

I was about sit back down since i thought our pillow fight was over, but boy was i stupid to think it was over. Clarke took a hold of my ankles and yanked at them until i was flat on my back on her bed. I let out a yelp.

It was then i felt her climb on top of me, wrapping her hands around my wrists and straddling my hips. "Hah! What now? I got you pinned. That means i win this pillow fight. My first win." She proudly announced.

All coherent words and thoughts left me at that very moment. Clarke was on top of me. She has me pinned down on her bed. In a very unlikely position i'd never even thought we'd be in. Ever.

I stared up at her with wide eyes and mouth slightly open, my breath hitching.

It was clear to me that she didn't even register the position we were in because she looked way too happy about winning the pillow fight. She even jumped lightly, which made things worse for me.

So i stared at her in a trance with a blush making it's way onto my cheeks. I looked at the way locks of her blonde wavy hair fell off her shoulders and closed me off in a soft curtain. How her laugh of victory became music to my ears and the way she smiled was a sight that should be seen in every museum. It was a breath taking thing to witness really.

It didn't take long for her to stop laughing and finally notice why i became quiet.

A look of confusion crossed her face, practically asking, 'hey, what's wrong?'

I bit my lip and turned my head to the side, trying to hide my blush from her. I felt her move slightly and heard a gasp leave her mouth. In one swift move, she was off of me.

I sat up slowly. The beat of my heart not slowing down one bit. I didn't want things to be awkward so i fake coughed. "So dinner?"

"What?"

"I mean, dinner. Your mom should be done with dinner by now, we should head down."

"Right. You're right. Lets go." She said, moving bristly out the door.

We didn't talk about what happened that day ever.

It was now winter break and i was at home laying on my bed with my laptop warming my legs up. I had already visited family and Clarke and i got to hang out before she left for Australia. I won't be seeing her for a few days. Which sucked.

Anyway, I was binge watching on Netflix again, my favorite passing time. I was watching this cool little documentary about squids.

I was half way through the documentary when a ding from my phone caught my ears. I was a bit irritated by the interruption 'cause i was getting really into it. But the ringtone was different from the ringtone i gave everyone else in my contacts. It was Clarke's ringtone. She insisted that she have a totally different tone from everyone on my phone so she recorded herself saying 'bloop bloop' and set her voice for when she texts. I'd never tell her this, but i thought it was cute she did it.

So, none the less i paused the episode and unlocked my phone to see a text from Clarke.

I closed my laptop shut and opened the text.

C: Hey, Lexa :)

L: Hey, Clarke.

C: Whatcha doing?

L: Guess.

C: Hmm. Binge watching on Netflix?

L: Bingo! :D

C: Again?

L: Don't judge.

C: Haha. Okay. So.. uh. Could i ask you something?

That was odd. Clarke was never hesitant when she wanted to tell me things.

L: Of course, Clarke. Anything.

C: How did you realize you liked girls?

The question took me by surprise. And it hit me that we never did talk about me liking girls after i came out. It just never came up. At all. And i kind of liked it that way. But now its come up. And so i told her.

We talked all night about the topic and by the end of it with me talking and her asking questions she sent one of the most life changing texts i've ever recieved.

C: Oh, okay. Thanks for telling me about it. We never even talked about it before, did we? I'm sorry. Haha. I'm your best friend, i should know things like this, right?

L: Haha. I guess so.

10 minutes pass. She probably fell asleep.

C: Can i tell you something?

L: Of course, Clarke.

C: ...

C: I think i might like girls...

When Clarke told me she might like girls that winter night i did everything in my power to not push her into telling me who she was possibly attrated to. I of course hoped that it was me, but the topic was never mentioned again.

Essentially, months went by and things were just as they were.

Except they weren't. With each passing day since that night,i noticed subtle changes in Clarke's behavior.

1.

I was at my locker getting my books for my next class when I heard Clarke call out my name from down the hall. "Hey, Lexa! Ready for math?"

"As ready as i'll ever be." I respond. "Whoa." Her face was literally inches from mine when i turned to look at her after closing my locker shut. Her signature smile was laid out on her pale face.

I tuck my hair behind my ears. "U-Uh, y-you study? For the test?" I stutter out, blushing.

"Nope."

She gave me a wink and linked my arm with hers, taking my books from me and putting it on top of her binder. "I-I can hold my books, Clar-"

"No, it's okay. I got it."

"Oh... O-Okay. Thank you."

"No problem."

2.

"Clarke, look at this." I say pointing to an item in a glass container at the mall. It was of a raccoon and lion hugging each other. It was cute.

"What is it?" Clarke asks, wrapping her arms around me from behind and leaning her head on my left shoulder. "Aw, that's adorable!" She giggled, tightening her hold on me.

My body heat instantly began rising. Oh god.

3.

I was in the library studying when a girl from my history class sat in front of me. "Hey."

"Hey, Costia." I greeted.

"How's it going?" She asked.

"Um, nothing really. Just studying."

"Cool. Cool."

I gave a small smiled, nodded, and went back to studying.

She coughed a bit and i could see her run her hands through her dark brown hair from the corner of my eyes. Strange. "So, uh, there's this movie that just came out last week. I have an extra ticket if you wanna come with?"

I raised my head to see her blushing and avoiding my eyes.

Oh.

Ooh.

A blush crept up my face. "Oh, um, Costia. I... uh..."

Out of nowhere thin arms secured themselves around my shoulders and a weight laid on my head. "Hi, Lexa!"

I almost scream at the sudden appearance. "C-Clarke." I whisper yelled?

"I saw you when i entered the library and thought i should say hi and study with you. Who's this?"

"That's Costia. From my history class."

She only lets out a hum.

I was about to say something, but then a whiff of vanilla and strawberries fill my nose. Clarke signature perfume and lip gloss. I inhale and let out a relaxed sigh, enjoying being wrapped by Clarke's warm body and smell.

"So, Lexa. The movie? It's this Friday." I barely make out what Costia says.

"Sorry Costia, was it? Lexa and i have something planned already, you should probably ask someone else." I hear Clarke say. Her tone of voice hinting, annoyance? I'm not sure. But it was weird, she never talks to people like that. Plus i don't remember planning anything with her on Friday.

"Oh, okay, i guess." I see Costia stand up and push her chair in before scratching the back of her head, muttering a 'see you in class' as she walked away.

"About this Friday..." Clarke says, sitting in the chair next to me and laying her hand on my knee.

4.

Our English class went on a field trip to a performing arts center to watch Romeo and Juliet and we were packed and ready for the drive back to school. Clarke and i sat next to each other as always and she took the window seat.

"Come hither, Lexa." She patted the empty spot next to her.

I took the seat. "I shall. Thank you, kind sir." Clarke punched my arm playfully at my response. "Ow. Rude."

She merely giggled.

About ten minutes passed during the bus ride before i felt something touch my shoulder. I looked down slightly to my right and saw Clarke staring up at me with a smile. "Hi." She said softly, her bright blue eyes observing my face.

"H-Hi." I say back, feeling my heart picking up its pace.

She merely giggled again then situated her head to face the seat in front of us. Slowly, her left hand found mine and she wrapped them together, having our fingers interlace. A quiet sigh left her lips and i could see from my view that she closed her eyes.

I didn't think much on Clarke's behavior all that much 'cause she did this to me all the time, but recently they've been more... Intense? I don't think that's the right word. Frequent? She's just way more clingy than she usually was. And she's been a bit possessive? Which never happens but strangely, i don't mind.

I don't know. Maybe it's just me over analyzing it and hoping she actually likes me, but who knows, maybe it's just Clarke being Clarke.

It was nearing the end of Junior year when Clarke called me in the middle of the night, wanting to come over.

"What? Clarke, it's... 11 o'clock."

"My mom said she isn't coming home tonight because of her shift."

"I... I don't know. Let me ask Anya."

Anya was my older cousin and my guardian. She was a bit cranky when i went to ask, but she said yes none the less, 'cause Clarke did this sometimes when her mom would come home late. She was used to it.

"Hey, she said okay."

"I'll be over in 10."

When she arrived, i told her to call me so she wouldn't wake up anyone else in the house if she rang the door bell. In five minutes, we were up in my room tucked in my bed.

I let out a tired sigh and closed my eyes when Clarke suddenly poked my cheek. I let out a whine and heard her laugh quietly.

"Lexa, you awake?"

"I am now."

"Sorry. I just wanted to talk. I can't sleep." I opened one eye and saw her shrug her shoulders. "Talk with me, please?"

I couldn't say no to her. "Shoot." I say turning so i'm on my side and her doing the same, facing one another.

"I have a question for you. And you have to answer honestly okay?" She says seriously.

I raise my eyebrows in a quick motion, indicating i would.

"Do you still like me? As in like, like?"

My eyes widen as if someone just poured ice cold water on me. Did i hear that right? "Pardon?"

So she asks again. "Do you still have a crush on me?"

It took a while for me to figure out what i would tell her. 'Cause what if i say yes and she doesn't feel the same way, but just wanted to know just because? What if i said no, and she then becomes disappointed? What if i say yes, and she likes me back? I didn't know what to choose.

But thinking about it truthfully, i did still like her. So so much. Love her even and so i went with telling the truth. "I'm sorry if that's like, weird to hear from me again."

She doesn't say anything after i tell her. She just kept staring at me with a look i couldn't decipher. It was making me bit uncomfortable and i started to figit under her stare, avoiding her gaze, biting my lip. I was thankful it was dark so she couldn't see my reddening cheeks.

The next second changed everything between us.

"I like you too." She said smiling.

Hello! I think i'll make one more chapter for this if people are interested. Reviews are gladly welcomed with open arms. Thanks for reading! :)