Very people ever saw Adam Parrish cry. Least of all Ronan Lynch. There was something about the high cheekbones and long fingers that made Adam feel so very mortal.

His father had seen him crying the most, a fact which Adam hated him for. Gansey had seen him cry on occasion. Blue had, too, but only once. Noah always seemed uncomfortable with such displays of emotion.

He promised himself he would never cry in front of Ronan Lynch. Partially because he couldn't take the humiliation of it, and partially because he knew Ronan wouldn't cope with it. Ronan was the kind of person that was very good at pretending not to be delicate, but if you leaned in and took a closer look he was fragile as one of his dream things. Adam had lots of reasons to lean in closer to Ronan. Although if Adam was honest, those reasons were more about how Ronan's mouth felt on his than examining his persona.

A Parrish never broke a promise without good reason, so Adam lay in the dark, staring at something on the dresser, trying very hard not to cry.

The red display of the alarm clock read 3:12 and stung his eyes. There was a disgusting ache in his chest, and all down the side of his face. Adam loathed it. He hated the fact he missed his father. He hated the fact he could still feel his hand.

Sometimes, very late at night, Adam heard phantom voices in his deaf ear. His father, oftentimes, or Cabeswater. They were both long gone, but Adam sometimes fancied he could feel the rushing leaves cradling him as he lay.

There was a throbbing lump in his throat, but Adam coughed with no avail. And once he started shaking he couldn't stop. Adam felt anger welling up in his chest, and it began escaping him in silent, resentful sobs.

A hand snaked around from behind him, and a face came up to his bare shoulder. He could feel Ronan's strong, warm form wrapping itself around him. It felt like Cabeswater's whispering vines, but with all the tingling heat of human contact. Adam collapsed into Ronan's arms, trying to contain the pricking sensation behind his eyes.

It was Ronan's hot breath as he sighed softly on Adam's neck that broke him, and sharp tears began dripping onto the pillow. Adam convulsed with the feeling in his chest- that he was breaking and burning, desperately trying to claw himself back together. It was not the pleasant reunion that Cabeswater had been, but an ugly scrabble for his identity. He felt glad for Ronan's hand tracing circles on his wrist.

Adam turned in the bed, so that he could see his boyfriend's face in the balmy moonlight. He didn't expect to see tears glittering in Ronan's dark eyes, but they caught the light and danced on his wet cheeks.

"It's Father's Day" Adam whispered, afraid to break the silence with his hoarse voice.

Ronan smiled sadly. I know.

Adam almost laughed through his half-sobs "I guess it isn't any easier for you"

"It's a different feeling." Ronan said finally. "My dad loved me."

"You know he always said he loved me," Adam croaked, the words sticking to his throat. "He'd tell me he did it because he loved me and because he wanted me to learn how to be a man"

"You know that's not true," and the look in Ronan's eyes knew all about loving Adam.

They lay in silence for a long, warm moment, and then Adam spoke again. "Gansey could be our Dad."

Ronan laughed.

"No I mean it seriously. He's got a certain… Dadness about him."

"Dadness?" Ronan began sitting up. "I'm not sure I know what you mean"

"He's all protective. And… old."

"Gansey is younger than you."

"I know. But he feels old, because he's so responsible and kinda weird. And maybe because of Cabes-" They didn't talk about Glendower often, and Adam didn't want to bring it up tonight.

"I know what you mean," Ronan said softly.

There was another long silence. Adam sat up too, and they stayed there, holding hands in the half dark. Adam's thoughts began wandering back to Robert Parrish again, and when he felt the ache in his eyes he let himself cry. Ronan didn't comment.

"I'm going to make tea," Ronan broke the silence. "Come with me?" He stood up and began pulling on his boxers.

There was something fun about padding half-dressed through the darkened farmhouse. Something about the way the shadows moved was enticing. The grey glimpse of field from a window, comforted Adam. He was free now.

Dream kettle or no, the boiling process wasn't silent, and soon enough Chainsaw came fluttering into the kitchen. She landed on Ronan's shoulder and nuzzled his ear. He smiled as he poured.

"I'm pretty certain this isn't one of Maura's concoctions, but I can't read packets in this light." Ronan brought a steaming mug over to the worktop where Adam sat. "Also you're not supposed to sit up there."

"You let Orphan Girl!" Adam fake pouted.

"There are some major differences. Firstly, you are older and should know better. Secondly, you are not half goat. Thirdly, I can't kiss you if your mouth is all the way up there."

Rather decisively, Adam jumped down. Ronan leaned in gently.

"We should get Gansey a gift," Adam suddenly said as they came up for air.

"Good to know that's what you think about."

"No… for Father's Day." Adam traced the tattoo running down his boyfriend's back, and felt him shudder slightly.

"I'm sure he will appreciate the sentiment," Ronan half-smirked, leaning back and grabbing his tea from the counter.

"As a joke," Adam persisted.

"What do you get the man who has everything?"

"He doesn't have everything."

"Tell me something we can get at 4am that Richard Gansey 3.0 wants and I will get it for you"

Adam could think of a few things Gansey wanted, but nothing that could be bought.

Ronan pulled Adam into the sitting, settling down on a sofa and bundling up in a fluffy blanket. They sat, each deep in their own thoughts, watching the sun creep into the sky above the Lynch estate. Adam felt safe, and free. He was proud to call it his home; and prouder to call his friends his family.

Very few people ever saw Adam Parrish cry, but Adam promised himself if he had to cry, he would do it in front of Ronan Lynch. There was something about the high cheekbones and long fingers that made Adam feel safe to sob.