Chapter 6 Rabbit + Dog= Screaming Cat= Broken stuff

Hello everyone! This is Qrious with a new chapter of NaruZwei!

Finally, after eight or so months of no updates, one rewrite and a few minutes spent proofreading it's finally here.

So, we left off the last chapter with Naruto coming across the V of Team CFVY so this'll pick up on that. Hmm what else is there to say... I think that's it.

Anyway that's all, I hope you enjoy reading this new chapter and sorry if the humour is punch worthy.

"So, what are you gonna do after class?"

...

"Oh, do you believe yourself to be so?"

"Bark!"

...

"Do you want me to sic Holo on you?"

"Hehehe, haah.. haah... must...haah.. molest~"

...

"Anybody up for strip poker?"

"You pervert!"

"Merh, sure."

"Ruby!"

Blake can't believe she is worrying about this right now.

Pacing around her teams room with two sets of eyes watching her in amusement, Blake kept glancing back and forth at the clock and the door waiting for their team pet/ team leader to get back. It's been a few hours since they've finished their game of strip poker, a session that Weiss was sure they were cheating at, and Zwei has yet to come back. It's now 9:30 in the evening and curfew starts in 30 minutes and she was getting worried. Her! Getting worried! For a dog!

Getting irritated at the disguised Faunus' pacing Weiss said "Can you please stop that! It's very annoying!"

"You're just angry because you lost at strip poker." Yang teased.

Weiss face grew red in both anger and embarrassment and pointed her finger at the three of them "Shut up! I still think the three of you cheated! I mean how else would you keep getting Straights, Flushes AND ROYAL FLUSHES FIVE TIMES IN A ROW!?" Which is true, getting a Straight or a Flush is hard enough but continuously getting them, and in Ruby's case a Royal Flush, multiple times is very fishy, smells of cheating and ends in with an angry naked Weiss.

"Still, carpet really does match the dra- OWW!" Yang held sides in pain when Weiss poked her with Myrtenaster.

"Finish that sentence and I'll freeze you."

Yang smirked "So cold." cue a string of curses from the red faced heiress.

Ruby shook her head at her sister then looked at Blake who was seconds away from bolting "C'mon Blake stop being such a worrywart, if anything that's my role."

"Then why aren't you doing what I'm doing?"

"Because there's no reason for me to do what you're doing that you want me to do."

"But you should be doing what I'm doing that I'm making you do because that's exactly what you should do."

"Why should I do what you're doing that you're making me do even though it's exactly what I should do when there no reason for me to do?"

"Be-Becau-Agghh, forget it. I'm gonna go look for him." Blake shouted and stomped out of the room to search for Zwei.

Ruby stared at the door in wonder "I still don't get why she's soooo... uh..."

"You mean why she sort of acting like a girlfriend would to her boyfriend?" Yang helped Ruby out which got her a snicker from the young Rose.

"Pffft, yeah right, Blake is deathly afraid of Zwei. And you know that's just weird right?" actually what Yang would make sense if, and that's a very big if, Blake knows that Zwei/Naruto can morph between human and animal. If not then maybe Blake is into bestiality.

"And besides we both know that Zwei would come back before curfew." Ruby said confidently... maybe not too confidently because she has a feeling that Naruto might wander around the dorm. And knowing him he might end getting picked up by someone and end being 'adopted' by them like last time which ended with them fighting someone in a courtroom for his ownership... okay now she is getting worried "On second thought you guys, maybe I'll go with Blake and see where Zwei is." Ruby shot out of the door leaving rose petals scattered all over the room.

Weiss stared at the pile of petals on the floor and looked to the elder sister and said "I'm not cleaning that up." to which Yang shrugged off.

"Hey Blake wait up!" Blake looked behind to see Ruby barreling towards her... isn't she supposed to STO-!

"OWW!/DAMNIT RUBY!"

One untangled mess later

"Sorry about that Blake, I was trying to catch up with you. I didn't know you were so fast though! You managed to get from the eight floor to the entrance in less than a minute."

Blake was about to comment when she processed what Ruby said. Blinking she looked around and saw that they were currently at the dorm's entrance "I... didn't even notice."

"Well look who I found." a familiar voice called out from the entrance.

"Oh Coco, nice to see- what happened with you?" Blake wondered the same thing. Said girl looked a little worse for the wear, her uniform looked like it went through the wringer with all the dirt and holes on it, her glasses is missing a lens and her beret looked like it got chewed by an Ursa.

"Dr. Oobleck happened." Ruby and Blake motioned her to continue "Well it all happened during class..."

Flashback to Ooblecks class

"... I was minding my own business and trying to be an exemplary student-"

"You were looking at a clothing catalog?"

"... How'd you know?"

"I feel your pain sister."

"Huh?"

"Can we please go back to the story?"

"Oh sorry, now where was I? Oh yes..."

"... -that's why to this day, coffee sells more than tea."

A student raised their hand "Yes my little caterpillar?"

"Umm, profe-" "DR, Dr. Oobleck my dear caterpillar."

"Suuure, um Dr. Oobleck sir, I thought we were going to have a lesson on The Great War?"

Oobleck looked at the student and at the numerous papers he put on the board"What *sip* do you mean? I AM discussing the Great War."

"Like people even gave a damn about glorified mud water back then." Cardin muttered.

...

...

...

"Huh, why is everyone so quite? And why are you all staring at me?"

True to his words everyone in the room is deadly silent and looking at Cardin with wide eyes. The older Beacon students could only lament and pray for Cardin as they failed to remind the new students of Beacon's Four Golden Rules.

Rule 1: Thee wilt not ang'r the Goodwitch lest the lady becometh a real bitch.

Rule 2: Toucheth not Ozpin's mug, thou shall live longer.

Rule 3: Doth not interrupt Bartholomew's Story Time.

And finally Rule 4: Doth not speaketh ill of coffee in front of Dr. Oobleck.

"... and we had to hold off the rampaging professor-" "DR!" "- *blink* I mean doctor while kicking the hell out of that idiot."

"..."

"..."

"What?"

"Well, were the kicks really necessary? I mean it is you guys' fault since you never told us those rules."

Coco scoffed "He was harassing my teammate earlier so those kicks were well deserved."

In that case, Ruby and Blake wished she gave him hell.

"Kicked him in the nuts too."

Ruby made a face when she heard that tidbit, in no way is she feeling sorry for Cardin but it did make remember back when she kicked Naruto in the groin. Accidentally though, don't belive what Naruto says, it was an accidental kick and nothing more. She wouldn't kick him just for eating her cookie. No way.

"You should've kicked it more."

Ruby and Coco looked at Blake with raised eyebrows "Yikes, remind me not to get on your bad side." Ruby nodded.

Blake shrugged, she then remembered what she was supposed to be doing before getting side tracked by Coco "Hey Coco, do you-" "AAAAAAAHHHH!"

"What the-!?"

"Are we under attack!?"

"At least it's a girl this time."

While Ruby and Blake were looking around wondering where the scream came from Coco couldn't help but notice that the screamer's voice seemed familiar "That sounds like- Oh no, Velvet!"

Coco took off running towards the stairs leaving a surprised Ruby and Blake "Wha- Coco, wait up!" the two followed their upperclassman up the stairs with Ruby running beside the leader of Team CFVY in seconds with Blake not far behind.

"You know who that is?"

Coco nodded "Yeah, I'd know that voice anywhere."

From behind them Blake shouted "Shouldn't we get the dorm mother?"

Coco shook her head "No need, she's probably there already."

While all of that is going on let us go back to our femme trois, two of whom are locked in a 'heated' debate. Kaguya and Salem are sitting in a rather large room within a large crystal castle inside Salem's domain. Originally just a few rooms built on the inside of cliff it later became a castle in an attempt to stop Kaguya's grouching. But as seen right now, it didn't.

"All I'm saying is that while our current living accommodations are acceptable they could be a little better."

Salem rolled her eyes "Need I remind you we are living in a castle? A CRYSTAL castle?" not to mention she asked (read: ordered) said castle to be built just a few hours ago. Using HER Grimm as labour no less.

Kaguya made a 'so-so' gesture with hand "Yes yes, a crystal castle is grand and all but a castle with no servants is no castle."

Salem deadpanned at Kaguya as said Bunny Goddess took a glass of what she guess is carrot juice from the tray on top of a Beowolf's head that is sitting at her side. Did she mention that Kaguya is also using HER GRIMM for servant stuff? Find your own pets of mass destruction you damned Bunny Goddess.

Kaguya noticed her gaze and released an unladylike snort "Please, I don't even consider them proper servants, they can barely clean, they almost ripped off my kimono when I asked to have them washed and when ask for a meal they always bring me a dead animal, I mean they could atleast cook it a bit. Though they do make delectable carrot juice."

While feeling insulted at how disrespectful she is towards her Grimm for unable to do menial housechores -what did she expect from creatures bred to destroy mankind?- she took the carrot juice as a small victory for her Grimm.

Putting down her glass of carrot juice, Kaguya put a hand on her chin as she felt something not quite right. Noticing this Salem asked her what was wrong to which she replied "I just feel like we're forgetting something."

"Huh?"

"I mean don't you think something is missing."

Salem thought about the question but nothing really comes to mind.

Fifty miles away from Vale

Well that something just so happens to be Holo who sort of somehow managed to escape from the two immortals during the construction last night. While she managed to escape from Kaguya and Salem she somehow failed to get out of her bindings and the pole she was bound to. To which Kaguya wrapped her in again. After threatening to mouth rape her.

Now some would ask 'How would someone tied up manage to escape two powerful beings, managed to get across the ocean and whatever terrain is between Salem's domain and Sanus all in just a few hours?' I don't know the answer but one thing's for sure, nothing can gets in between Holo and blond stud.

"Just wait for me Narustud, Holo's coming."

How long until Kaguya and Salem notices her is anyone's guess but she'll have more time than people think because she escaped from them prepared.

Back to Beacon Academy

Minutes before the scream

Within Maison Izumo's walls, in the kitchen to be specific, the dorm mother Miya is making herself dinner. Using a large pot. Now why would she need such a huge pot when she's the only person in the inn? Well on some occasions the students, Coco's team and a few third and fourth years, drop by and she'd often make everyone dinner if they were visiting during dinner time.

AS she cooked her thoughts went to the group of first years Coco brought to her earlier. It was a rather... unique team to say the least. Unlike the conventional four man team this one, Team RWBYZ she recalled the name, is made up of five members with one of them being a dog. Normally this'd be no problem but said dog is the team's leader. She wondered if Ozpin has finally lost it, it was only a matter of time with how much coffee, tea and hot chocolate the man consumes in a day.

Speaking of said dog, Miya couldn't help but feel that something wasn't quite right with it. Not the 'Oh my god it's gonna bite my face off' wrong but rather the 'there's more to this dog than meets eye, and paws' kind of wrong. And unless Ozpin really has lost his marbles then that may be the reason why he put a dog in charge of a team.

Getting a spoon she took a taste of her cooking then nodded in satisfaction. She then looked at the clock on the wall behind her ad wondered what was taking her guests so long.

"AAAAAAAAHH!"

Oh, maybe that's why.

As fast as she can, she ran straight for the door, while making sure to grab her ladle, and went straight for the source of the scream. She made sure to double time it there as well since that scream wasn't a normal scream, nope that scream was a 'I'm being perved on' type of scream which is why she grabbed her ladle instead of a sword.

Ah ladles, the leading technology in beating up people in all sorts of situations.

Feeling that she's getting near the source of the scream, if the sounds of 'no' and 'not there' were any indication, she readied ladle equipped hand to bring pain upon the poor idiot who dared to do something perverted in her dorm.

That until she saw what the perverted situation looked like.

"No-hahaha, st-stop it."

Said perverted situation was actually just the canine leader of Team RWBYZ playing with Coco's teammate Velvet Scarletina.

"M-haha- Ms. M-Miya, he-hahae-lp!"

"Eh?"

"I-I haha, can't get him off!"

Can't get him off? Well, now that she's gotten a close look it does seem like Velvet is trying to pull Zwei off of her. Actually even Zwei himself doesn't look quite right.

"Dorm lady!"

Hearing that annoying name Coco bestowed upon she turned around to find said girl along with the two of the girls she brought earlier running towards her.

"Dorm lady, I heard Velvet scream have you see-what is happening there?"

Blinking at the sight of her teammate and Ruby and Blake's team leader playin "Hahah-h-hel-hahha!"

She breaks out a sigh of relief she relaxes when her teammate wasn't in danger after all.

Though the same couldn't be said for the other four people in the room. Velvet of course was under attack by Zwei's toungue, Miya was still watching Zwei feeling that something wasn't quite right, Blake was having another one of her wild fantasies and Ruby...

She was slowly, quietly making her way towards Zwei and Velvet while cursing the fact there's a rabbit Faunus in Beacon "Psst, Velvet."

Said rabbit faunus whimpered as she looked at Ruby.

"Try not to move to much." she shout whispered to the rabbit faunus.

Velvet complied, doing her best to not move too much. Though it was a bit hard with how Zwei was now trying to get into her clothes, an action that made Ruby angry beyond Yang Standards. She tried to squash the feeling of swinging Crescent Rose at him because of Velvet but if she wasn't there...

And Naruto "Gehehehe..." he has fallen to the path of the pervert which is not the first time that happened, luckily for Velvet this is only temporary. If everytime he see's a cat or cat faunus he goes into 'Hunt' mode where he'd either maul or hump the cat, well the same applies for rabbit faunus only when it comes to them he acts like a dog on weed. A happy dog on weed. That goes pervy on rabbit faunus.

In the middle of her journey Holo felt that she missed out on some very valuable intel.

Blake on the other hand is hiding behind Coco when she saw Ruby get mad. By no means was she afraid of Ruby, nope, she was more afraid of her scythe that she'll start swinging all over the place if Ruby suddenly brings it out.

"This is a weirdly tense situation, don't you think dorm mother?"

"..."

"Dorm mother?" Coco looked at where Miya was only to find no one.

"Where'd she go?" Blake asked wondering where the purple haired dorm mother went.

Coco shrugged "I don't know, dorm lady Miya's weird like that."

"You mean she suddenly disappears?"

"Not exactly."

"AAH! Don't pull too hard he has a grip on my clothes."

Back to the situation at hand Ruby has finally managed to grab hold of Zwei, unfortunately though as he was about to get plucked he made sure to grab Velvet's clothes with both his teeth and paws. And what a tight grip it was.

"Just... let go... idiot."

*rip*

"EEP!"

Ruby groaned. When this is all over she'll be demanding a cookiethon from Naruto, she does deserve it for all the craziness he's been doing.

'Damnit, I can't pull too much or else I'll rip off Velvet's clothes but if I don't get him off he'll keep tongue molesting Velvet. Think Ruby, think.'

A light bulb lit up in Ruby's mind as she thought of something and she groaned in annoyance because she can't believe that's the best plan she could think of right now.

"Blake!"

Hearing her name the disguised cat faunus looked to the young Rose wondering why she called her.

"Bring out your legs!"

"Huh!?/ Woah."

Ruby groaned as she slightly pulled Zwei when she felt him try to get away from her grip "Leg. Zwei hump. NOW!"

Blake was about to shout out her disagreement when she suddenly found her face meeting with the floor with Coco straddling her back while getting a hold of her legs "If letting him ride your leg is what it takes to get your team leader off of Velvet then so be it."

*whistle!*

"Hraw?"unclasping his teeth from Velvets clothes when he heard someone whistle.

'WHISTLE!'

His eyes changed targets immediately after hearing the whistle, transferring from Velvet to Blake's leg.

He knows that leg, it's HIS leg after all. He was about to go zooming towards the leg but then he remembered about Velvet.

Said rabbit Faunus was about to make her escape when she noticed Zwei once again look at her. Nobody moved in the hallway moved, even Ruby, apart from Zwei's head which was looking back and forth between Velvet and Blake's leg.

'Sexy rabbit or sexy leg, decisions, decisions...' is what is going on in Naruto's doggy brain right now.

He went for the obvious.

And Blake screamed. Or moaned.

Ozpin's Office

Ozpin's office is situated on the very top of Beacon tower. The office itself is quite large with large gears above and below that kepp making ticking sounds that might drive someone mad. But not if you're Ozpin. Did I mention Ozpin loves his mug?

Well right now said mug is in the hands of Miya, who remembered that Ozpin still hasn't been properly punished decided to punish Ozpin by threatening to cut it up with her sword.

And Ozpin?

"N-Now, now Ms. Asama l-l-let's all just c-calm down and not do anything rash." the headmaster is currently tied into a chair while being forced to watch the inhumane act.

"Oooh, if anything this is a proper punishment for putting a camera in my dorm without my permission."

Ozpin paled, she's still angry about that!? "I-I-It won't happen again but please don't hurt my precious!"

Now Miya isn't really serious with breaking Ozpin's mug. She knows said mug has sentimental value to Ozpin since he's had it ever since he was a student at Beacon himself. But she needed him to understand that he can't do whatever he wants in her dorm without her say so.

After a few tense, for Ozpin, minutes Miya lowers her sword which earned a sigh of relief from the grey haired headmaster. Miya picked up his mug and held it towards him.

"All right, but this better not happen nex-"

"KYAAAAAA!"

*clink, crash! whatever sound glass makes when it breaks*

Miya looked at her hand with wide eyes. Ozpin looked like someone broke his mug. Well that's because it did. What was once a mug in Miya's hand is reduced to handle, the rest of it is on the floor. In pieces. Like Ozpin's world.

"Umm..."

"..."

Miya awkwardly looked at the handle piece in her hand and Ozpin. She slowly put the handle on top of his desk then with quick steps walked towards the elevator and back to Maison Izumo where she'll try and forget what just happened.

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"My

AAAAAAAANNND that's it!

Don't have much to say except poor mug, we will never forget you. *gives manly salute*

Well hope you guys liked this chapter please fave, follow or leave a review.

This is Qrious, signing out.