I hope you enjoy this story, it has a female Harry Potter and is set after the Battle of Hogwarts but before Twilight

As always, I don't own Harry Potter and I am doing this for fun.

Chapter 1:

Harriet Potter was pissed, there wasn't another word that could describe the utter irritating she felt towards the Minister of Magic Kingsley and Withers, the head of the Auror Department.

As she strode down the halls of the Ministry of Magic, her own magic whipped around her in reaction to her anger. If there was any ever doubt as to how the 5 ft 3 girl had managed to defeat the greatest Dark Lord Britain had ever known it could be easily dispelled by passing Harriet. Indeed, some members of the Ministry had already sent patroni and messages to various people announcing the wrath of their saviour whilst at the same time praying that it was not their department that the Woman-who-Won would destroy when she found the object of her anger.

If anyone had been brave enough to walk close enough to hear her mutterings they would have feared for the life of their Minister for Magic.

"Sure Kingsley, that is a brilliant idea, why don't I waltz off to try to get a job with the leaders of the Muggle vampires? Oh, you got me an interview? How kind… No, it sounds a lovely holiday, spending time in deep cover pretending I am not a fucking witch and hoping that I don't get eaten every day. Wonderful… Utter bastards. Why can't Ron go instead, I am sure sometimes they would want to eat a man from time to time? Oh, and the cherry on top of this wonderful cake, occasionally, just occasionally a bunch of tourists may be traipsed past you to be eaten and there is nothing you can do to help unless you want to go the same way… Pricks… And if you get the job, which you have to interview for, you will then have to wear dresses every day and look pretty, otherwise they may eat you… Why do I have to play secretary? Why can't Hermione? She would know what to do, I can't even keep my mouth closed when someone is being a pain to someone else, let alone me. I will end up calling the leaders of the vampire race, leeches, ticks or bloodsuckers or something. Oh and what is our dear Minister's advice to avoid such a situation…? Practice mediation?"

As you will probably understand from Harriet's rant to herself, she was not a happy bunny. Not at all. She had just left a rather… trying meeting with the Minister for Magic and the Head of Aurors for all parties involved. Now heading into the bowels of the Ministry she entered the Department of Mysteries to find her former classmate, Mrs. Hermione Weasley.

Two years had passed since the end of the war and the Battle of Hogwarts. In that time Hermione had married Ron, Ginny had gotten engaged to Neville, Luna to Rolf Scamander, pretty much every one of her year group was either married, engaged or in a long term relationship. Even Malfoy… But no, Harriet was abstaining from a relationship… she was waiting for the right person… she was focusing on her work… etc. Basically whatever excuse she could give to get the media of her back, she gave.

Probably that was why she was being sent to spy on a group of vampires, she was the only one who could do deep cover for a long time, having said that the longest in the past three years a secretary of the Volturi had survived was six months, so it wouldn't be that long in deep cover before she could come back. Or she would be dead, which would be an inconvenience. The only good thing would be that if she did die whilst on this bloody mission, at least the Ministry would have to admit that the precious Woman-who-Won had died because they ordered her to spy on a species of unknown vampires. Then her friends would probably kill all the vampires. Apparently they were bloody difficult to kill but, needs must and Harriet was sure that Fiendfire would finish the buggers of easily. Although… what would basilisk venom do to them, hmmm, that was an idea, using the Sword of Gryffindor which she could summon to her could prove an interesting experiment? She would have to find a suitable candidate to try it on but still, the Ministry wanted to know about them, knowing how they could be killed was a more useful piece of information than who ran them surely?

Reaching her destination, Harriet opened the door to Hermione's office, swanned in and sat on the chair in front of her friend's desk and threw her feet up onto it.

Hermione didn't even react, not looking up from her Arithmancy, too used to her friend's reactions to even bother trying to remove the girl's feet from a pile of papers.




"What is it now, o Bane of my Life?"

"I will have you know it is 'Saviour of my Life', get it right. Anyway, I need to rant so please listen to me and interrupt at appropriate intervals so I know you are listening. Understand Mione?"

Hermione sighed, opened a drawer subtly and checked there was still a hipflask of Firewhisky there as this sounded it was going to be a long 'therapy' session.

"Yes, Harry I understand, so please do not let me hold your rant back anymore"

"Right, I have just come from a rather… interesting meeting with the bastard Kingsley and the moronic Withers (correct me on my language and I will turn the Firewhisky in your drawer into water, and yes I know it is there). Anyway, you know that new breed of vampires that were recorded eight years ago or so, anyway, they have found out that the leaders of these 'Muggle vampires' operate out of Italy, Volterra to be exact. And so, out gracious leaders in all their infinite wisdom have decided that I will go undercover in their palace, acting as … wait for it... their secretary. Yes, Kingsley has decided that I am the person who would be least likely to attract suspicion and attention in the middle of a den of vampires."


More silence


"Yes, I have to act like a prissy little girl whose greatest hope is to become immortal and a vampire. That is if they keep me, apparently there last five secretaries have been killed for reasons such as being late, spelling a name wrong or tripping up into one of the kings. I see it as being highly likely that I am going to be killed for losing my temper and calling one of the three kings of the vampire world a mosquito or something. Can I count on you to avenge my death should I be eaten?"


Hermione gave up and opened her drawer and retrieving her flask and taking a deep draught of the alcohol within before passing it to her best friend who mimicked her gesture.

"I am not quite sure what I can say to make this situation better. I am working on it I promise."

"Oh and guess what? I have an interview in two weeks, thank god I know who to work a computer otherwise I would be even more screwed. But apparently I have to go dress shopping as I have to wear a dress and heels every day. At least I don't need to get a house as the Volturi supply me one, I suppose it is just so I can't just run off if I get cold feet."

"What did Ron say?"

"Ahh, Ron, the boy who I think of as a brother and who I have frequently trusted with my life over the past nine years, what did he do when he heard my assignment? He laughed and suggested I took some Blood Replenishing potions with me as well as some Blood Pops for, and I quote here: "just in case they get hungry and you are the only juice box around"".

"Right, so my husband was ever so sympathetic to your plight obviously. Well shall we go dress shopping?"

"Mione, I came here for sympathy (and alcohol… but mostly sympathy). Surely you do not mean to force me to Italy to my highly potential death?"

"Hmm, I will check your emergency portkey before you go, don't worry? I am sure you will be fine and just in case I will go and visit Kingsley and get the reports about these vampires to see if there is anything useful we can work out to help. I am sure with some Scent Nullifying spells and the like you will be fine."

"Et tu Hermione?"

"… Yes, now come on. Ginny had training this morning so we can go drag her shopping too."

"Oh good, I can ask her whether I can count on her to avenge my death when I am eaten"

"I swear you were not this dramatic when we were at school."

"I wasn't, I have a theory that after defeating a Dark Lord you are allowed more leeway. Eventually I plan to have that eye twinkle of Dumbledore down and wear just as garish robes as old Dumbles, just because I can."

Hermione sighed and slipped the hipflask from the top of her desk into her pocket, more alcohol would be necessary if she had to survive shopping in a muggle store with Harriet Potter.