Note: This chapter got a major makeover all thanks to Sonochu. The 'OOC' scene in the clubroom was removed and a lot of changes were made.

Chapter 1: Confession

"I love you!"

Love, a word normally used to describe someone's attraction towards another. A word I never expected to be uttered towards me. Some might consider that too pessimistic for a teenager such as myself to say, but my history with my peers had never been great. In fact, it was quite the opposite. No, I only planned to marry to fulfill my status as a househusband and nothing more.

It all started when Yukinoshita left the clubroom to deliver a report on the amount of requests our club had received to sensei. The report was nothing special really, and it even gave me some time to kick back and relax. Of course Yuigahama was still here and I'd have to entertain her. She was known to be very talkative; at least in terms of Yukinoshita and I. Still, that wasn't much of a problem for one such as myself. That was until her confession.

Now she didn't just say 'I love you' right out of the blew. No, instead she went into a long spiel about how much I meant to her and how I opened up her eyes to the world around her. Apparently she found some good in my pessimism. It only took one look at her firm eyes to know that she meant every word of it.

My immediate response was to turn away from her and stare at the floor. I couldn't deal with this? How did I not see this coming anyway? There were signs. Of course there were signs. Her incessant need to include me in her activities, the redness in her cheeks whenever she would talk to me alone, and how could I forget the night we watched the fireworks show. Those all gave the impression that she could have had some romantic feelings for me. I firmly denied that conclusion though. She was a nice girl after all, so it was in her nature to be friendly and acclimating towards everyone.

It was one of the few times my pragmatic cynicism failed me. If this were a year ago, around the time we first met, I probably would've said yes. She was a very pretty girl with her hair dyed pink and brown eyes; I can't deny that I didn't have some feelings for her back when we first met. Sadly, it only took me a few months to realize that our personalities clashed too much. Her eccentric personality didn't mix well with my cynical sarcasm. If I said yes, we might be happy for a few weeks, but eventually our differing personalities would create conflict, causing both our relationship and friendship to fall apart. It wouldn't stop until it affected my friendship with Yukinoshita and possibly even everything I've worked so hard to acquire.

I didn't know what to do. Normally if I came across a situation I couldn't handle, I just ignored it and moved on. A loner was more like a nomad than anything else, not caring for the relationships that were harmed from their decisions. That would negatively affect Yuigahama though, and I actually care about her. My only other option is to reject her gently. Gah, I've never been good at subtlety!

I mustered up all the courage I had in me before finally turning around and answering her. "I..I'm sorry, Yuigahama; I don't feel the same way." It was said so fast that I barely understood it myself.

Based on her crumpled face though, she definitely understood. She tried to flash me a smile in an effort to hide her emotions, but it was convincing no one. "Somehow, Hikki, I knew you'd say something like that. Still, I had to say something; I just –" her voice broke suddenly and she let out a sob that even surprised herself. After a few attempts, she was able to speak again. "Good luck finding something genuine, Hikki." She was already out the door before I could utter a reply.

Did...did that mean she was done with me? Shit. Why didn't I handle that better? Ugh, I'm such a screw up! A part of me wanted to go after her, but I knew it would do neither of us any good. At least that's what I told myself.

My knees felt weak. Is this how Hayama feels when he rejects someone? He always seemed strong during a girl's confession. Was this another thing I failed to notice?

I must've spent more time than I thought in my own head after Yuigahama left, because the next thing I know the club room door flew open and Yukinoshita came storming in with the fiercest glare she has probably given anyone in her entire life.

"What did you do to make Yuigahama run into the bathroom crying?" She asked, giving me a wary look. "You didn't try anything perverted when you two were alone, did you? You may look untrustworthy with you dead eyes, but even I expected more from you."

It was sad that I couldn't tell if she was joking or not. "I don't want to talk about it," I said before sighing, "Instead of talking to me, you should go comfort Yuigahama in the bathroom."

Yukinonshita looked like she wanted to say something, only to decide otherwise and leave the room after Yuigahama with a flick of her hair.

Why did she come to me first anyway? Did she just want to stop me from causing me any more harm? That would mean that she saw me as some fledgling criminal then. It also wouldn't explain why she was trying to tease me, if she even was doing that. Could she have been trying to knock me down a peg to avenge Yuigahama? That's impossible, she had a lot harsher means to do that at her disposal.

In any case it doesn't matter; I'm alone once again. Somehow I figured things would end up like this. Perhaps it was stupid of me to desire something genuine. For me, the solitary state I'm in is genuine. It will always be a part of me. At least I'll always have my sister.

Tears started forming around my eyes before I even knew it. Yes, just like the time after I gave a confession of my own back in middle school, I began crying. My emotions just wouldn't stay pent up inside me anymore. I guess there is one advantage to be alone; no one can hear you cry.

It probably took me about half an hour before I could regain control of my emotions. By that time the clock was already at the time Yukinoshita would normally disband the club. I might as well head home then.

As expected my bike was the only one remaining on the bike rack when I got there. What wasn't expected was Yukinoshita waiting for me.

"I'm surprised your still here," she said, running her hand through her long, dark hair, "Are you lurking around here in hopes of preying on some other innocent girls to violate?"

"Just give it a rest; I'm not in the mood." I muttered back. Why are you still here anyway?"

While she tried to keep her expression indifferent, it wasn't hard to tell that she was angry with me. "Yuigahama wanted me to walk her home so I obliged. We live in opposite directions so I had to pass by the school again to go back to my house."

"Oh." Her explanation seemed weak to me. Why didn't she just get her family's limo to pick them up? Wouldn't that have been easier then walking across the city? I had no desire to argue with her though so I let the topic drop. "What do you want with me then?"

"I'm walking you home." She said her it so confidently, as if she knew I would say yes. Maybe it was more adequate to say she was determined to follow me even if I said no.

"I can get home just fine. Besides, shouldn't you go home before your family gets upset?"

Perhaps it was low to use her awkward relationship with her family to get her off my back, but I didn't want her company when she was just going to blame me for Yuigahama, even if it was all my fault.

She frowned before replying, "My time will be better spent making sure you don't attack any other innocent girls."

"I'm not some sort of sexual deviant." Still, I decided, there was no getting out of this. I started walking with my now unlocked bike to the side of me, not bothering to make sure Yukinoshita was following along.

"Yuigahama asked you out, didn't she?" Yukinoshita asked, falling in step right behind me.

She was more perceptive than I gave her credit for. "None of your business. How'd you even know that anyway?" Crap, I just gave it away.

"She told me."

Oh, of course.

"Why did you say no? While I can't begin to fathom the creepy thoughts inside your head, Yuigahama is an attractive girl."

"Love is dumb." I avoided the question. It was obvious I was doing it. There was no doubt Yukinoshita knew this too.

"Maybe for a rotten mind like yours."

Is this where she comes out as a secret lover of all things romance? Nah, that would only happen in a romantic comedy.

"It's just fact. One in four marriages here end in divorce. Numerous more only stick together for financial reasons. That's not even getting into the rate of domestic abuse here."

"Then what of your goal of becoming a househusband? Seems pretty hard without a wife."

"Who said I can't still get married? I'll just make a contract with her beforehand. This way neither of us end up fooling ourselves into falling in love with the other. Basically, I'll only be her servant and nothing more." Now that I said it all out loud, it sounded depressing.

Yukinoshita paused as if to come up with the right words. "Then you must have accepted the idea of living an unfulfilling life." She said it so indifferently that it almost seemed like she did care. It didn't make the words sting any less though.

No, I am Hikigaya Hachiman, a loner. I even mastered the 108 special techniques so I can remain safe in my loneliness. Besides, I tried escaping the inevitable in middle school and was only ridiculed and bullied for my efforts. It goes to show I'm only suitable as a househusband.

Once again she looked like she wanted to say something but choose not to. This behavior was so unlike her. Usually she would be extremely blunt about everything, showing little tact even when she should.This behavior was beginning to irritate me though. We were friends, even if she didn't use those exact words, and yet here she was not giving her honest opinion. It was like she was pitying me.

I'm not something to stare at and feel sorry for. I want this.

She'll take Yuigahama's side anyway when this finally comes to blows, so I have no idea why I'm deluding myself into believing that she'll still accept me in the end. Her relationship with Yuigahama has always been stronger than her relationship with me.

Yukinoshita, the ice queen that she was, must've seen my inner turmoil because she starting smiling sadly, as if to say she was superior to me in some way. Just because she had the highest grades in the class and had more of a handle on social situations like this, she thinks she's better than me? That bitch.

Bitch? I really am reverting back to my old self, aren't I? In fact, it would be better to say it never left. This thought process distracted me long enough for me to not voice my aggravation with Yukinoshita. It didn't mean I was any less annoyed with her.

After a few more minutes of walking in silence, my house came into view. Good, I didn't know how much more of this façade I could take. I gave my obligatory farewells and continued heading for my house, fully believing our talk was over. Apparently Yukinshita wasn't finished yet.

"Hikigaya, if you don't provide the minimal effort to find what you want, then you have no right to be jealous of the people who actually found what they're looking for through the effort they gave. The Service club can't help you with your request until you understand that."

My response was to slam the door on her face. Shows what she knows about me. I have been trying to better myself since joining the club. This only proves that it didn't work.

Without even realizing what I was doing, I slowly leaned on the door and fell to the ground before letting out a sigh. This was all my fault, and because of it, I may have screwed up my chances of ever finding the genuine thing I was after.

Somehow the silence surrounding me was the most damning thing I ever heard.

Thank you for reading this and for all the reviews. I started writing this just as a way to pass some time but from now on I'll be taking this a bit more seriously.