Update 10/04/2017 . A bit grammar fixing and very minor changes. No change to the plot or story.

Monday.

Monday is the most hated day in the world. Period.

No need for any kind of reasoning for why people hate Mondays. People just hate it as it disrupts their weekend peace and forces them into slavery again.

Sorry, Monday-chan!

I, Hachiman Hikigaya, am a firm hater of Mondays. After all the energy conserving I do over the weekend, this cursed day forces me to use it all up.

Waking up late is typical for me on Mondays and today was no different. I was woken up by my cute little sister in a typical insulted fashion. By the time I got down for breakfast after the usual morning duties, she had already left for school. Delicious breakfast was awaiting me on the table.

After having my fill, I grabbed my bike and started pedalling to school.

I reached school pretty late, I entered class when Sensei was marking attendance. As soon as I set my foot inside of the class, I was hit by a supersonic punch that knocked me down on the ground.

First shot T.K.O, winner is... Hiratsuka-Sensei!

As soon as I hit the floor in pain, the class erupted in laughter.

Damn these riajuu bastards. Just laugh away at someone's pain. I finally managed to get up and faced Sensei. Damn that too punch was too hard. You won't get married if you keep punching people like that, and to those riajuus, just go blow up already!

"Why are you late, Hikigaya?" Is it even legal to ask why someone is late on a Monday?

"Ma'am, heroes always arrive late, and as you can see, I am the hero of this piece of literature!" As soon as I finished the statement, another punch hit me with double the force of the previous one.

"You are no hero; you are just a smartass brat to me, go take your seat."

Nobody understands me. Nobody.

I somehow managed to get up and took my seat. I swear, one day I'll have RNGesus on my side, and I will counter attack your punches!

The classes went as usual, as the patent pending line says, 'In a flash!'

I headed out of the class and leaned on the wall, waiting for Yuigahama to arrive.

A few moments later, I felt something hit my back, I turned to see Yuigahama making an angry expression.

What is up with these women here? Why is everyone trying to kill me? What the hell have I done to them?

"You were supposed to wait for me, Hikki!"

I wait for this woman here day after day, and she still doesn't get it? Is the main occupant of her skull really air?

"What on earth am I doing then?" I retorted sharply. She suddenly realized and got embarrassed.

Don't worry Gahama-chan, it is far too common for me now!

After the usual start of the journey, we headed towards the club. The walk was, as usual, boring. I saw no other soul than my company. Yuigahama would strike up a conversation. At least she's trying to remove the silence. She doesn't get the fact Yukinoshita and I like silence, though. I'll make sure to teach her someday. If possible.

When we reached the club, I slid open the door, seeing Yukinoshita preparing tea and snacks as always.

"Yahallo, Yukinon!" The typical greeting that tends to make me think that they are a part of some tribe with their greeting as 'Yahallo'. What kind of fad is that?

Man seriously, how can even someone say that?

Totsuka's an exception.

"Good afternoon, Yuigahama-san. I see you brought that thing with you today." She spoke with a mischievous grin.

The first thing I hear from her mouth is a ridiculously mean statement about me. Not that I care, I was not in a mood to revolt right now. Besides, I've been allotting points to my resistance, so those attacks are nothing but tickles.

"Yo." I replied, using the shortest greeting the Japanese language can offer. Why do people not use it more? It should be the standard greeting for Japan by now!

I sat down on my chair and grabbed a light novel from my bag. I had just yesterday rented it from a library. Time for it to be given a Hachiman test.

As soon as I was about to dive into the novel, I saw a really high class lady showing her grace by pouring tea in my cup. The scene is quite breath-taking, if you don't tend to see it every day.

I thanked her for the tea and dived into my light novel, simultaneously trying to bring the temperature of the tea down enough to satisfy my cat tongue.

"When X-chan arrived, I said 'Don't worry, I also just got here.' Bull's eye! I've always wanted to say that. We then started to walk while holding hands. I was so moved that tears were about to drop because I was holding the hand of a beautiful girl on a date. After that, we went to different kinds of shops, enjoying every moment. For lunch, we ate at a family restaurant where X-chan was eating a chocolate parfait, and I was full just by looking at her. It felt as if I understood how other teenagers feel when they go on a date. I felt as if I was alive for the first time. Is this what they call 'youth at its finest'?"

Damn riajuu Bastard.

Suddenly, something out of the ordinary happened. Someone knocked at the door. Well, this was surely a rare phenomenon nowadays, apart from some foxes and boxers barging in. I'll make sure to return the favour next time.

"Come in." Yukinoshita said while sipping her tea. The door slid open at the command of the ice queen. And so, the prince came in. He walked up to the queen, held her hand, and- wait, what am I saying?

"Is this the service club?"

In came a girl I had never seen before. Not that it is something out of the ordinary as I hardly know more than fifteen people in the school. What I found salient is that she is crazy beautiful, beautiful enough to be the most popular on school.

I may have stared for too long as the girl started to form an irritated face. Damn, I know I look like a molester, but I don't have the mind and soul of one!

"Y-Yes, h-how can we help you?" Why the heck am I stuttering; being polite, nonetheless? My fellow club members were looking at me as if I was a ghost. Maybe I really am not much of a conversation starter.

The girl averted my gaze and looked at the direction of the two girls.

"My name is Nozomi Nozaki. I am a new transfer student in class 2-C and I'm requesting your help."

Yukinoshita, who had recovered by now, replied.

"My name is Yukino Yukinoshita. Her name is" –she pointed at Yuigahama "Yui Yuigahama and" –she pointed at me "that thing over there is Hachiman Hikigaya. Let's hear your request, Nozaki-san." Wow.

"I have been in this school for just 2 days and I have already received at least 70 confessions." She said in a sombre expression.

'Holy shit,' I thought.

"What!?" Yukinoshita shouted. Wait, what? Yukinoshita?

"Eh?" I gasped, bewildered at Yukinoshita.

"Uh, please pardon me. I meant to say that it is shocking"

Gahama-chan was already struggling with one hit, then got a nuclear bomb dropped on her. She might take a while to recover.

"What do you want us to do about it?" asked Yukinoshita politely. I still can't bring myself to believe what Yukinoshita said a moment ago. Yukinoshita shouting like that was as rare as Yuigahama spelling Mississippi correctly.

The girl, who was seemingly shocked at Yukinoshita's outburst now had recuperated and replied.

"I am sick and tired of these random guys confessing me all the time. I need your help to stop it." Woah, that's surprisingly direct.

Well, obviously, I have never been confessed to and don't expect anything like that in a billion years, so I have no idea what it feels like. The only thing I can get is that it must be annoying as hell to be asked out by 70 people in 2 days. Hell, that's almost 3 people every two hours. I couldn't believe that it was even possible but looking at her, it seems to be. She practically looks like a goddess, heck my middle school self would have confessed and got rejected by now.

The craziest thing about this was Yukinoshita's reaction. A person like her who is used to being confessed in tremendous numbers to be shocked like that is surely an achievement. Speaking of her…

"What about posting on social media that you are not interested for a relationship right now?"

Pretty logical advice, most fools nowadays check social media for such kind of crap.

"I have done that already, Yukinoshita-san. Most of the guys don't seem to understand that, and continue to bother me." She replied.

Well this surely is a serious problem. A new transfer student coming in and started getting bothered by numerous confessions. Hah.

"Well, you can try to do something that makes you unwanted by boys like declaring yourself lesbian or something like that. Dunno."

Seriously, Hachiman? That's the best you've got? Negative 8000 points for you.

"I may have considered that for a bit, but it's just too obscene."

Oh. She's so disturbed by all this that she didn't even try getting angry.

She not getting angry doesn't mean others not getting angry. Yukinoshita's and Yuigahama's eyes had converted into Miniguns that were being fired at me with unlimited ammo. Why are you two getting so angry at me? Is it because I exposed your Yuri relationship, Yurigahama-san and Yurinoshita-san?

The girl was bewildered at this exchange of glares. Yuigahama, who had seemingly recovered from the impact of the nuclear blast, had thought of something.

"Nozomi-chan, why don't you hide during the times you get confessed the most?"

Nozomi-chan? First name basis already? What the hell is wrong with you, Gahama-chan? And what's up with the recommendation?

"Maybe that could work."

…

Someone just found Yuigahama's suggestion useful! Pigs must be flying right now!

This is a viable solution, but this kind of stuff coming from Yuigahama is as rare as humans finding aliens somewhere.

What's up with all the rare things happening today? Would I get a rare Totsuka confession event?

"That's a practical suggestion, but where should I hide? Almost the entire school is covered by those idiots." You sure are blunt, Nozaki-san.

Yukinoshita made a thinking pose and started after a moment, "First we have to be specific about the time periods around when you get confessed the most so that we can find some spot for you."

Typical Yukinoshita reasoning, nothing wrong with it.

"Mostly during lunch break and after school, I guess. No one dares to do anything funny during the classes."

Yuigahama instantly looked like a light bulb had been switched on inside her head.

"You can come here after school, Nozomi-chan! We rarely get any requests, so the chances of people coming here are pretty low!" Yuigahama cheerily exclaimed.

"Yes, I guess it would work, but what about lunch break?" Can't you stay here as well?

Before I was able to voice out my opinion, Yuigahama replied.

"What about Hikki's spot, Yukinon?" She replied. Wait what? My spot is my heaven and no one messes with it!

"Hey, stop right there, Yuigahama. My spot is my heaven; I don't want any disruption." I protested.

"Yes, that could work, Yuigahama-san." What? They just ignored me?

"Where is the spot? Is it deserted?" Nozaki-san continued. No! You too? A new girl just came here and teamed up with them? What are the gods plotting?

"It's behind the special building, near the tennis courts. It's an open area by the stairs, so you cannot go there on a rainy day. "Yuigahama told Nozaki-san. Damn it, Yuigahama.

"Okay, I never thought that anyone would go there, but it is a seriously good hideout."

Thank you for the praise. You have already captured my precious lunch spot, so what can I say to you?

"However, don't start thinking of doing anything funny. I'm a black belter in karate." She continued. Huh?

"What makes you think I will think anything funny?" I inquired, slightly narrowing my eyes. Seriously, woman, I got some dignity here.

"Nothing makes me think, you just can't think anything funny." What the heck is wrong with her?

"Why on earth will I think something funny?"

"You just can't think."

"Why the heck can't I think?"

"So you were thinking."

"What?" I don't get it.

"Please stop it." Yukinoshita intervened, who was seemingly irritated by the exchange. On the other hand, Yuigahama looked bewildered.

"I will go to the designated lunch spot tomorrow. Thank you, and 'bye." Nozaki-san said as she left the room. It was followed by utter silence. Only one thing was on my mind. That thing that made me wonder; made me think harder than usual.

Seriously, what the hell is wrong with her?

Confessions.

Confessions are circumstances where a person usually reveals their romantic feelings to the person they like. These kinds of confessions take a shit ton of mental and emotional strength to go and ask the other person out if the feelings are reciprocated. Nowadays, however, confessions have just become a mere test for people. They confess to each and every person they find physically attractive and just wait 'till someone accepts it, which no one does most of the time, but if someone ever does accept such a random confession, they do not last long after getting to know each other's characteristics. You must be wondering how I know all this crap even after being the person I am. That is simply because of my history; my observation skills and data from specimens like the peculiar girl sitting next to me, silently but elegantly eating her lunch. I'm not a stalker.

Why I call her peculiar, you ask? Simply because of two things.

The first thing is that she is breathtakingly beautiful, even beyond Yukinoshita. If Yukinoshita is a 10, then this girl is surely around the 13-14 mark. Yup, that beautiful. Her waist-length, vibrant purple hair, beyond perfect face, excellent body shape, perfectly sized chest and what else, she looks like she has come straight out of an overly beautified anime character. If she so desires, she could become a model in no time. That's the logical conclusion I came to; a reason why she received a crazy number of confessions within just two days of her entering this school.

The second thing is, she is surprisingly blunt. She says what she wants to say; no smoothening of words; just pure thoughts of hers. Thus, she serves as a perfect source of information on such matters.

I may have stared at her for too long.

"What are you up to? Are you also going to confess now?" Here, ladies and gentlemen, the sample of her bluntness.

"No, I will never confess to any girl in my entire life." A chill went through my back when I remembered the crap that happened to me in middle school.

"Can we just be friends?"

Hell, we never even talked again after that. Are you saying that that was the meaning of being your friend?

"Are you going to go gay for some guy then?" This woman.

"Not at all." I replied, a tinge of annoyance unintentionally filling my tone. I'm glad she didn't notice it.

"Then, why? You expecting some girl to confess to you?" -she took a pause to scan me "Let me tell you this: no sane girl would ever confess to you, especially after looking at those eyes of yours." Thank you very much. Wait, why is it always my eyes?

"I'm not expecting someone to confess to me, either." I replied in as-a-matter-of-fact tenor.

"So, what are you up to? Going to buy 2-D girls and marrying it?" She replied with a cheeky grin.

"I'm up to nothing. Confessions are just too tiresome."

"How can you say that? Have you confessed to someone before?"

She hit a sensitive part.

Crap.

What should I say now? Do I tell her? Not at all! I am sure she will make a hell for me out of it, I know this after what I have observed from her nature.

However, my effort was in vain as my expression just gave it all away.

She was looking at me with the eyes of a predator; a maniacal grin on her face. Wait, predator?

"I have not." I tried to lie as a last resort.

"You have." She pushed.

"I have not." I put more defense.

"Yes, you have." She had armour penetration.

"Can we not talk about it, then?" As a reply, she gave out a soft sigh.

"I'm sparing you for now, Hikigaya. However, I will definitely find out soon, and don't expect to be let go easily." She said with a smirk.

"Yeah, sure, do whatever you want." At least I got away right now!

"Talking about confessions, if you are receiving so many, why not accept the confession of some good looking guy?" I asked, despite the fact that I already expected what she would say back.

"You crazy? How can I just accept some random guy's confession without even knowing anything about him? What about you? If some insane, drunk girl confesses to you, I think you will accept it in a blink of an eye, won't you?"

"Not at all. Even if I do get a confession like that, I'll only accept it if I know the true nature of the girl. However, looking at you, I don't think anyone can handle that blunt personality of yours. Leaving that aside, even if you do accept some random guy's confession, and you don't even know each other, I am sure that the relationship you will share won't be-"

"Genuine." She interjected. "You are not as dumb as you look, Hikigaya." She said with a small smile. Huh? I may look creepy, I know, but I don't look dumb, woman.

"Dumb? Nonsense. I am a high quality product with above average looks."

"Did you really just say that while sober? You really are a dupe." She replied. By then, the school bell rung again, indicating the end of the lunch break.

"Well, see you later in the club, Nozaki-san. That is, if you're actually coming." You can also come to the clubroom during lunch, you knooooooow? That way, I can get my precious lunch spot back! I got up to leave, but was stopped by a tug on my sleeves.

"Wait for me, you dumbass. Let's go together!" She quickly started getting her stuff together and got up, while straightening her uniform, and at the same time, I was standing there slightly shocked.

"What's there to be shocked about? My class is on the way to your class." She asked in genuine confusion.

"What about the others? What if this start some kind of rumour-"

"I thought you were someone who does not care about others, Hikigaya. Was I mistaken?"

"You're not, I don't care, but what about you? You've just transferred here, and I have a really bad reputation. It may cause you nuisances."

"I care about them far less than you do." she said in a carefree tone accompanied by a shrug; her eyes closed as if content. "Maybe those rumours will reduce the confessions." She said, smirking. Then the smirk gradually turned into laughter and, before I knew it, I was chuckling too. Just a little. Not really because of anything. It's just that I- er… she- ah, forget it.

After leaving heaven, we started walking towards our classes. I could feel the prying eyes throughout the path. Some random girls whispering some crap; most guys were fuming in envy and others were just looking in awe. Eh, awe? I expected them to be disgusted, or something.

The rest of the classes were rather uneventful.

Afterwards, while I was leaning on the wall, waiting for Yuigahama to come and punch me again, a fox came running towards me. Her flaxen hair was waving like a leaf on a tree. Her face was contorted, seemingly out of breath. After regaining her composure (somewhat), she faced me with unwavering determination. What…?

With a deep breath, she spoke, loudly.

"Senpai, are you dating the transfer student?!" Huh?

…

The place was filled with the rustling of leaves, the slight honking of cars, and the loud screeching coming from the 10% of Sobu High's residents.

"WHAT!?"

A/N

Hey guys, new story.

Hope you like it. Reviews highly required to keep me motivated and constructive criticism highly requested to help me improve. I am an amateur writer, so please bear with me.

Aqua-Sama is still the beta reader here.

P.S. - Some recent help from thatguywhowrote helped me snipe some mistakes so thanks a lot for that.