September 1971 (Lily's First Year)

Two boys stumbled into the compartment.

"Hi!" She said, greeting them with a smile. They turned to stare at her with wide eyes, and she realised they were both robed. Pure bloods, or half-bloods at least. She ran through the faces of known magical children she'd been provided with. Sirius Black and James Potter. Perfect. Both from Ancient and Nobles Houses. They would certainly do.

"I like your robe." She told Black. He'd obviously attempted to do something to his hair. Immediately he puffed his chest up and she hid a smirk.

"Thank you. Sirius Black." He said, extending a hand. She shook it.

"Lily Evans, nice to meet you."

"James Potter." She shook his hand too, and gestured. They took seats.

"The porter's got our trunks." Potter explained before she asked. Rich, influential and clever. Excellent.

"Are you a muggleborn?" Black asked, staring at her intensely.

"So what if I am?" She replied archly. The Slytherin Prefect that was walking past their compartment stuck his nose in. Blonde hair and an aristocratic look. Malfoy.

"I wouldn't stay in that compartment, Black." He sneered. "Mudbloods and muggle sympathisers. Feel free to join the rest of our sort, us of a more polished calibre." She saw Potter frown, and Black stiffened. Lily whispered a colour changing spell under breath and tried not to laugh as Malfoy's blonde hair turned pink, then Gryffindor red.

"Despite the more polished calibre it appears you have no class." She remarked. Malfoy glanced at her and then away, as if she was not worth the time to even look at. Black and Potter were giggling.

"Your funeral. I can't imagine what your mother would do if you ended up a Gryff." Malfoy said, then stalked away, red hair flowing behind him. A few minutes later a roar of anger echoed down the train. The three of them had only just managed to stop laughing and it set them off again.

"We better change carriages." Black said around gasps. "He might come back." They jogged down the train and entered a compartment where one boy sat alone, nose buried in a book.

"Do you mind if we join you?" Potter asked as they collapsed onto the seats. The boy looked up. Remus Lupin. Werewolf. His entire aura felt different. Dangerous. She wondered if she felt dangerous to him. His gaze rested on her longer than the others, but that could have been for numerous reasons.

"I don't mind. My name's Remus Lupin." He said quietly. They each introduced themselves, and Black pulled a deck of cards from his pocket.

"Exploding snap?" He offered, and Lily spent the rest of the journey learning how to play, then demolishing the three boys. Lily was the best at everything, of course.

The first view of Hogwarts from the boats they sat in was awe inspiring. A hush settled over the first years that didn't break until ghosts shot through the walls, startling them all. Following that whispers echoed around the halls of Hogwarts, but Lily kept silent, inspecting her surroundings, drinking them in and noting the exits and ambush points.

Never in her life had she seen anything like the Great Hall. The ceiling made her feel impossibly tiny, so instead she focused on the students, noting the majority of the pure bloods were either Slytherin or Ravenclaw.

When Black was placed in Gryffindor she wasn't sure which house was more horrified. Black swept the hat off his head with a flourish, bowing to the room, and the Prewett twins stood and hollered as they cheered, leading the applause. When her name was called she walked to the stool and sat, wondering how on earth a hat chose a person's house.

My, what do we have here. I've never met a spy as young as you. Fascinating.

Lily had been trained to not show any emotion, but this was a shock.

You speak?

Only inside your head.

You're inside my head? Are you reading my mind?

Certainly. And a most unusual one you have.

Is this a skill all wizards possess, or just magical hats?

Some wizards learn legilimency, which allows them to inspect your memories.

Fuck. How do I prevent that?

Hmm. I wonder if I should be telling you.

Tell me!

I suppose you'd find out anyway. Don't look anyone in the eye, and learn occlumency.

Thank you. Will you tell anyone what you see?

I can't. I'm spelled not to. Enough. Now, to the sorting… You'd do well in Slytherin.

Hufflepuff please.

HA! You'd rip the school apart from the inside out. No, no, not Hufflepuff. A thirst to learn, certainly, but to only further your goals.

Anything but Slytherin. It's far too obvious.

Really? They'd help you on your way. You'd be formidable.

Do hats feel pain? I'll end your miserable existence.

I'll make you a deal. I won't place you in Slytherin if you agree to do something for yourself.

What?

Do something you enjoy, solely for yourself, that will not benefit your masters.

Agreed.

Fine. Better be…

"GRYFFINDOR."

She grinned at Black and skipped over to join him. An excellent start to the school year.

January

Lily was top of her classes, of course. In addition she taught herself magic that was neglected by the Hogwarts teachers; occlumency and legilimency, by necessity, warding because it was fascinating, blood magics because they were deadly and duelling because she wanted to survive. Every morning she rose before her dorm mates and ran around the lake, finding discreet places to do her more perilous regimes. She'd yet to find somewhere to practise her knife work and shooting, however.

One January morning she rose even earlier than usual, determined to explore the castle to her best ability, when she was surprised in the common room by a pop. She span, wand at the ready, to face a small creature with big tennis ball yellow eyes, and large floppy ears.

"Poppy is sorry for disturbing youse! Poppy will be leaving and coming back later!" It squeaked.

"Stop!" She commanded. "What are you?"

"Poppy is a house elf, mistress." Lily grinned.

"Hello. My name is Lily." The house elf had appeared from nowhere, of that she was sure. Apparition wasn't possible within the Hogwarts grounds, but perhaps there was a way around that.

"How did you get here?" She asked.

"Poppy just did! Poppy snaps her fingers and can pop where ever she wishes." The elf tugged on it's ears nervously.

"Will you show me how?" Lily asked. The elf shrieked, and Lily glanced nervously toward corridor that led to the dormitories.

"Mistress Lily is too kind! No one is asking the elves for instructions. No one! Mistress Lily cannot be serious."

"As serious as a heart attack." Lily said, and Poppy wrapped itself around her waist.

"Mistress Lily, Poppy will teach youse everything!" Poppy said.

That was how Lily learnt to take magic from her surroundings to obey her wishes. She also learnt of the come and go room, the best place to practise house elf magic, amongst other things.

The years passed quickly, and Lily excelled in all her studies, both magical and mundane. Despite having to spend less time honing her body to physical perfection she had the added advantage of physical enhancements provided by illegal rituals, and a preternatural sense of her opponent's next move that made her deadly and unbeatable. She was an assassin and a spy, and she was worth every penny paid. Her masters made sure to keep that part of her life separate from the magical world. It wouldn't do to learn that sweet, pretty, clever Lily Evans was a ruthless and cold blooded killer.

Of course, it was difficult to keep the two worlds from overlapping completely, but in the end that turned out for the best.

February 1976 (Lily's Fifth Year)

Lily strode back from the library to the Gryffindor common room. She was clutching a book on animagus transformations that they were planning to surprise Remus with. She'd disguised it as a potions book, of course.

"Mudblood." Someone hissed, and she span to see Mulciber in an adjacent corridor. She rolled her eyes and continued before realising her way was blocked by Travers. She subtly checked her knives, and withdrew her wand, placing her back to the wall, the book and bag on the floor.

"Five points from Slytherin." She said with a smirk, tapping her prefect badge. Travers raised his wand and she side stepped the curse so she could say honestly that she hadn't started it. She disarmed him lazily, catching his wand and pocketing it.

"You bitch. We'll get you for that." Mucliber hissed, and she ducked two curses, one of which certainly wasn't legal. She hit him with a tripping jinx and summoned his wand.

"Fool. I suppose you are the product of inbreeding." She taunted. He yelled and charged. She slapped his haymaker to the side, landing a kick to his balls. He doubled over and she kneed him the solar plexus before shoving him into the wall. Travers had 'snuck' up behind her, and she ducked under his strangling arm to elbow him in the gut. She slammed her hand into his face and broke his nose and he fell to his knees with a moan, glaring at her hatefully.

Sirius and James charged around the corner, her knights in shining armour that were far too late. Professor McGonagall strode at a more sedately pace behind them. The three of them took in the scene with widening eyes.

"What is the meaning of this?" Professor McGonagall demanded. Lily passed over their wands.

"Perform the Priori Incantatem." She demanded. The wisps of a cutting curse and an imperious echoed from Mulciber's wand, and a bone breaking hex from Travers. Excellent. If Dumbledore didn't expel them there would be an outrage.

"They attacked me, so I summoned their wands. Then they came after me physically, but my Dad's taught me self-defence so…" She shrugged. Professor McGonagall flicked her wand in the direction of the Headmaster's Office.

"Abominable." She said with distaste. "Two sixth year boys picking on a fifth year girl! You disgust me."

"I want them expelled." She said. "I refuse to stay in a school with these two in it." She swore at them behind her back, hoping they'd attack her again. They didn't let her down. With a roar Mulciber launched himself at her, hand on her shoulder. She span, grabbing his wrist and twisting his arm, shattering in it in three places. He screamed and fell to the floor. She looked at him in disgust.

"How dare you." She said.

"I'm going to marry her." James whispered to Sirius as they moved to her side, quiet enough that she shouldn't have been able to hear.

"All yours mate. That was bloody terrifying" He replied. She hugged them, one eye on Travers, the other on Dumbledore who had witnessed Mulciber's foolishness.

"I am very disappointed in you." He said, and Travers shrank away from his overpowering aura. Mulciber was too busy crying on the floor to notice.

"Are you well Miss Evans?" He asked kindly.

"They barely touched me, luckily." She said. He nodded, and flicked his wand, depositing the boys on their feet.

"My office, if you please."

"My arm's broken." Mulciber whined.

"Are your legs?" Dumbledore asked. Mulciber shook his head. "Then you can walk. Now." Lily followed behind him, Professor McGonagall, James and Sirius in tow.

"Miss Evans?" He asked, as if unsure why she was coming.

"You'll need me to witness for the aurors." She explained. Idiot. He pursed his lips and looked infinitely sad.

"I see. Are the aurors completely necessary?" He asked.

"Certainly. One illegal curse, and an Unforgiveable." Professor McGonagall snapped and Dumbledore sighed.

"Very well. Come along then."

Lily hid her smirk. A job well done.

April

James had been acting strangely lately. Skittish one moment, arrogant the next. He kept starting sentences that he never finished, and would blush if she stood too close. His newest manoeuvre was avoiding her, the prat. If he didn't act, soon she'd act for him. Instead she snuck up to the boys dorms, checking that Pettigrew and Longbottom weren't up there. James and Sirius were laying on their beds, pouring over a piece of parchment they were planning on charming. She dumped the animagus book on Sirius' back.

"Ouch! Crazy woman!" He yelped.

"Remus is in Care of Magical Creatures, and Pettigrew's flirting with Mary. Let's do this." They both sat up and pawed through the book.

"We've done meditation, visualisation, and partial transfiguration- all that's left is the transformation." James flopped backwards onto the bed, while Sirius sighed.

"Yeah, but we need the potion, and it's a NEWTs level brew. And Sluggy doesn't have any in his stores, we've already checked." Lily rolled her eyes.

"Who is the best fifth year potioneer?" She asked.

"Snivillus." Was the immediate reply. She crossed her arms and huffed.

"Excuse me." She said.

"You! You, of course!" James corrected Sirius, and pushed him off the bed.

"Oi!" Sirius hit James round the face with a pillow, and they wrestled for a moment.

"Boys!" They sprang apart, likely having forgotten she was even there. Typical. She withdrew three vials from her robes. Their eyes fixed on the crystal like they were goblins and it was gold. She grinned.

"So. Who wants to become and illegal animagus?" Sirius ruffled her hair.

"You're the best Lils." She shrugged and smirked.

"I know." She handed out the potions. "Don't forget. Clear your mind. Visualise yourself, not an animal, take the potion, and don't resist it! Together?" They nodded. She conjured a full length mirror. They each spread out, then with a grin, took their potions.

She cleared her mind, just visualising herself, focusing on her magical core. Her skin prickled, and she felt like she was shrinking, the floor coming up to meet her. She fell onto her hands, her face elongating, her spine extending into a tail. Her fingers gained claws and her ears twitched. She shook herself when she felt that she was finished changing, and sniffed. Everything smelt sharper, and more interesting. She opened her eyes, and a russet fox stared back. Even her vision was different, distorted by colours, and spotting every little movement. She turned, and walking on four feet felt natural. A black dog woofed, and bounded up to her, nearly bowling her over. Definitely Sirius. It sniffed, jumping about the room. She turned, and looked up, and kept looking up. A majestic stag stood where James had been, arching its neck and shaking its antlers. She yipped, and wide eyes stared at her startling before they filled with human comprehension. The stag tilted his head and the antlers hit the curtains, tangling with them. His eyes rolled as if trying to figure out exactly what had happened. She focused, thinking about everything that made her human, and the transition back was quicker she thought. She stood, glad that clothes changed with you, and manoeuvred the mirror. When the stag caught sight of itself she realised that it was trying to grin. She drew closer, stroking it's flank, and untangled the antlers.

"Awesome!" Sirius proclaimed, evidently having changed back. James shifted before her eyes, slowly standing. His hazel eyes gleamed.

"Wicked." He agreed.

"You happy?" She asked, not hiding her own smile. They nodded.

"Nicknames!" Sirius proclaimed. "Moony's got his already, but now we can assign one for ourselves."

"Prongs." James said, sticking his hands behind his head and galloping around. "Buster?" He pointed at Sirius who clipped him round the ear.

"Dark coat?" Sirius suggested.

"That's daft." Lily proclaimed.

"Oh! I've got one for you. Brighteyes." Lily grinned.

"I like it." James agreed. "Okay. Just Sirius left. Urm…"

"Padding?" Sirius shook his head.

"Padfoot!" James exclaimed.

"Done!" Sirius shifted back into Padfoot and woofed before shifting back.

"Someone's coming!" He muttered, and Remus walked into the room.

"Did I hear a dog?" He asked, a frown on his face. "Oh, hey Lily." She glanced at the others, and they burst into laughter.

"What?" Remus demanded. He ruffled his hair. "Is there something on my face?" Lily flicked her wand toward the door, locking them in and placing a trip ward.

"Moony. Meet your three marauding friends, Padfoot, Prongs, and Brighteyes." She gestured at each of them as she spoke.

"Huh?" He said.

"Ready boys?"

"One." James said.

"Two." Sirius agreed.

"Three." She said and they turned into their animal selves. Remus staggered back, clutching his chest.

"Fuck." He swore. She trotted up to him, and jumped on his bed, and then onto his chest. He caught her, and she prodded his cheek with her nose. He stroked her back. She flicked him with her tail, and he placed her down. She turned back into a human and grinned. He sat down, head in his hands.

"You lot will be the death of me." Padfoot slobbered on him, while James leaned against his bedpost, human again.

James smirked, dark hair tousled. "We can only try."

June

Despite the resounding success of the animagus transformations and following full moon, James was still being weird. It was a Saturday morning, and the last Hogsmede weekend of the year. He sat in a corner sulking. Lily was sitting with Alice and Mary both of whom were discussing the pros of Sirius Black's cheek bones while Sirius pretended he wasn't listening in. She eyed Sirius thoughtfully. He was smirking, staring at a wall, and was evidently trying to decide whether they'd both agree to be his Hogsmede date. They'd moved onto the topic of his sparkling grey eyes. She huffed.

"I prefer hazel, myself." She proclaimed. Sirius, forgetting about pretending he wasn't listening, snapped his gaze to hers. She smirked. "Sorry love." Alice and Mary blushed as they realised how close Sirius was, but she ignored them. She strode over to James.

"You're taking me to Hogsmede today." She said, poking him in the chest. He gazed at her with startled eyes.

"I, uh." She smiled.

"Go put something smart on. I don't date scruffy men." His face split into a grin, and he jumped off the chair and swept her into a hug before dashing upstairs. Remus looked up from his books and gave her a resigned smile.

"Thank god. I wasn't sure he'd ever grow the balls to ask." She sighed.

"Why ever not?" He shrugged.

"Didn't want to lose your friendship if you weren't interested. He's fancied you since third year, but you've been friends since the start." She rolled her eyes.

"Wanker." She said fondly.

"He really is." Remus agreed. "Thank god he's got a date." She snorted with laughter.

"Thanks for that." Remus grinned wickedly.

"My pleasure… or rather, his pleasure." She whacked him on the shoulder.

"Moonstone reacts with crushed runespore fangs, so you need an extra reagent." She said, pointing at his potions essay. He growled.

"Bugger off." She winked.

"Gladly." She re-joined Mary and Alice to gossip while waiting for James to return. Fancied her since third year? Perfect.

July 1981

Lily cooed at Harry and he snuffled in her arms. James drew close, wrapping himself around her.

"Alright love?" He whispered, planting a kiss on her cheek. She sighed and placed Harry in his cot. He drew her into their bedroom after placing the usual child monitoring charms upon him.

"He is after our son. Because of a prophesy, a fucking prophesy." She whispered. James rested their foreheads together, gazing into her eyes. She gazed, back lost in him, and his love for her.

"I love you James." She said. He brushed a kiss over her lips.

"I know." She gripped his arms.

"No! No you don't." She rubbed her eyes, and pushed him onto the bed. She paced the small floor space in their bedroom. "There's something I have to tell you. And you're not going to like it. But before I do, I want you to know, I love you, and Harry more than anything in the world." James ran a hand through his inky blank hair. Despite the drain the war had on all of them he was still the vibrant, confident, handsome man she'd married.

"You're scaring me, love." James said, following her every move with his eyes. She took a breath, closing her eyes momentarily, before opening them to glare fiercely at the floor.

"I was born Natalia Alianovna Romanova, to unknown parents. An orphan girl in Russia, who attended a ballet academy that was the beginning of the Black Widow Program, a Soviet led training program for children like me who showed exceptional beauty, or grace, or intelligence. From a young age I was trained in all areas of expertise suiting an assassin, or a spy." She ignored James' gaze, unwilling to see his anger and pain. Instead, she withdrew a knife, and ripped up the carpet, exposing her safe box of weapons and false identities.

"I turned eleven, and received a letter from schools of magic from all countries I had visited. Of course my masters couldn't allow such a talent to escape their grasp. So Natalia Alianovna Romanova became Lily Alice Evans, and I excelled in magic and became the most formidable assassin and spy the Black Widow program had produced, and a sleeper agent within the magical community. I was told to integrate myself with the most powerful group of wizards I could find, marry a pureblood, and become an essential part of Wizarding society." She winced. "Of course, an inter-magical war was not anticipated, but killing muggles obviously goes against my muggle master's agenda, and so I was told to side with Light, especially as the man I chose to marry was also such affiliated." Lily looked at him now, and his expression, for once, was indecipherable.

"But I have found something far more important to me that my teaching, something that can break me free of my master's hold. You. You and Harry. I have never loved something more than I love this family, and I refuse to allow anyone, let alone an incompetent mass murderer destroy it." She said this venomously. Despite the Wizarding World's fear of Voldemort she'd seen far greater horrors. She looked at him again, but he was gazing at the floor, at her safe box. She hoped she'd not just ripped out her own heart and given it to him for him to set it on fire.

"How did you fool the map?" James asked, and she tried not to laugh.

"I helped make the map." She said softly, sadly. He gazed into her eyes and stood. Lily exposed herself to his judgement. Her funny, charming, clever, and decent man.

"Let me get this straight. You were stolen as a child, raised to become a spy, continued to do so throughout Hogwarts, and are telling me now because you want out, so you can save your family?" James asked, eyes blazing. She nodded. He swept her into a hug. "Oh Lily. How could we have not noticed?" She shivered in his hold, allowing him to warm her. She tentatively wrapped her arms around him.

"I'm so sorry." Lily whispered into his sweater. He hugged her harder.

"I'm so mad at you. Why didn't you tell us sooner?"

"I couldn't. I didn't know how." They sat down on the bed together. James held her hand in both of his, his eyes kind and full of acceptance.

"I love you Lily. I've loved you ever since you threatened to hex Sirius's balls off in fourth year. This…" He gestured. "This is rather hard to take in, but I can't help but feel glad you've at least told me." She squeezed his hand tightly. There was a long silence.

"Incompetent?" He asked. Lily snorted.

"Dear god he's awful. Did you know muggles have invented a weapon that can level a city? Adolf Hitler killed six million Jews when he waged war on them! There's barely a half a million wizarding folk in England!" James gaped at her. "He's delusional, his plans are poorly thought out, and the only reason he's still around is because the Ministry is even worse! The Wizarding World is stuck in the middle ages, and is so prejudiced that they can barely see beyond their own eyes. Why, if we could find a way of negating magic I could kill every last Death Eater before they had a chance to realise the problem and run away screaming." She turned to him, angry at the foolishness that had led to her son being targeted.

"Dumbledore's almost as bad, all that nattering about 'the greater good', and believing the best of people. If we used deadly spells the Death Eaters would have a pretty shit time trying to escape from me, and if I was allowed to train a group in muggle weaponry we'd be unbeatable!" Lily clenched her fists and noted James trying to decide if he should laugh or not.

"No dark lord is getting anywhere near my son. And neither is Albus Dumbledore." She paused in her rant.

"Um. I've been using my own methods to keep tabs on the Order. Stupid, how people depend solely on magic." His eyes widened.

"You know who the traitor is." She grimaced.

"It's Peter Pettigrew." James clenched his fists.

"Truly?"

"I promise." James paled and she nodded.

"But… Sirius wants me to use him as Secret Keeper." She nodded.

"I know. Sirius is just an idiot. Well. He's your best friend, and would never betray you, and so would never think that someone else might." James jumped to his feet and began pacing.

"Okay. Okay. We need a plan. We can't tell the Order without exposing you and they might not be so forgiving." He winced. "I'm not entirely forgiving, but that's not a problem for now."

"I've got a plan." Lily said, smirking. "Don't you know? I've always got a plan." James grinned, and she was suddenly reminded of how much she loved him.

"Here's how it goes."

31st October

"How's Harry?" Lily asked as she stood within the Fidelius hidden house. James and Harry were already in America, and she was surprised the mirrors still worked.

"Sleeping." James whispered, and pulled a face. "Explain to me again why I'm the one who's stuck looking after the baby, leaving the dangerous work to his wife?" She smirked.

"Because his wife is the one who knows how to build bombs, sweetheart." James grumbled, but said no more. They fell into silence. Lily watched as the sun slowly set over their old house in Godric's Hollow, across the road from where she stood. Pettigrew had been made their Secret Keeper just days ago, and with some her copious use of electrical bugs they'd discovered that Voldemort planned to attack on Hallowe'en. Movement caught her eye and several Death Eaters, disillusioned, moved toward the house. They surrounded it, and Lily was glad she'd created an illusion that suggested they were home, and upstairs.

Even through the Fidelius she could feel Voldemort's presence as he strode down the street. His Death Eaters parted silently, and he walked up the path, and blasted open the door to her cottage. She pressed a button and shrieks screamed out from the upper floor. Handy things, tape recorders.

There was a roar, and an explosion of magic, and she guessed Voldemort had found her first trap. A magic draining pentagon, assuring his need to call on his followers. Voldemort hollered the names of Death Eaters and they piled in, some on brooms, all with wands raised. She could imagine them searching the house, and she wondered what point they would realise it was a trap. No matter. She raised anti-apparition and anti-portkey wards of her own, to prevent them leaving, spreading them across the street. She then cut her hand, dripping blood around a model of the house, and whispered the ritual. Mother's blood, willingly given, preventing anyone from crossing the wards around the house, in, or out. She cast the strongest shield spell she knew, and hit the detonator. The house exploded, and she hastily cancelled the Fidelius she'd cast, as it drained on her magic and the wards faded. The fire roared, and debris fell from the sky, but even better were the screams of the soon to be dead as the fire killed those not ripped apart by the initial explosion. The house was ravaged, their neighbours fleeing in horror. No one escaped Godric's Hollow, she was pleased to note. Pops of apparition indicated the arrival of the first responders, and muggle fire engines hollered in the distance. Lily smiled. The wreckage was complete. No one that survived would get away. Hopefully, no one would have survived.

She saw Sirius arrive, and he sobbed in the arms of an Auror, someone who prevented him from entering the house. She felt a twinge of regret, but hardened her heart. If anyone discovered they were not included in those that died her family would be at risk. Her masters would not allow her to escape. No one could know. She could already see the headlines, martyring them. You Know Who Dead, Potters Hailed As Saviours. She shivered, and apparated to London, took several tubes, then again to Nottingham, walked through the centre of the city, then to Kent, ensuring she could not be followed. Finally she activated the international portkey. There was a tug, and a rush of magic, and she appeared next to James.

"He's gone." Lily said a blood thirsty grin upon her face, met by James's look of relief. James gathered her and Harry close, and she knew that together they would endure.