Title: Repay In Kind.
Writer: Invader Johnny.
Disclaimer: Invader Zim belongs to Jhonen Vasquez, I own squat!
Plot: The Irken Empire is falling, the Tallest are in need of someone dangerous, someone destructive, and they need Zim! But just as his leaders need him the most, he looks down at them, giving them the same treatment they once lay down upon him... Indifference.
Author Notes: What can I tell you about this story? I always figured that at one point in time the Tallest would meet their downfall and truthfully I think it would be kinda a sweet karma fic turn of events if they suddenly required Zim's help to save their sorry asses.
Ultimately that's is how this fic came into existence! Enjoy!
"ZIM!"
The Irken shakes his head and looks away from his latest experiment and directly at his friend, "Friend, what an odd thought"
"Yes Dib-stink, what is it now?"
The eighteen year old rolled his eyes "I asked you how you work this thing?"
The alien looked disgustedly at his former nemesis "I told you once, I told you twice I told you a million times that if you want to use the damn telescope all you NEED to do use the voice command!"
"Told you Dib" Gaz sneered.
"Well sorry" He snapped out "But some of us aren't all that familiar with complex alien technology!"
"You're kidding right?" The computer asked.
"No… no I'm not"
"That's bullshit and you know it Dib-stink" Zim snapped back "Everyone in this room knows how you and your big gargantuan head are obsessed over my AMAZING lab so you are probably the only one you hear me! The only ONE in this nasty rock who even bothers to understand how Irken machinery works!"
"First of all my head's not big!" Dib whined "And secondly, what about you?"
"What about me what?"
"Don't you bother to understand your own technology? Because it would explain so much!"
Zim pats his PAK affectionately "Unlike you primitive Earth smellies, I don't need to try to understand it, once I was two minutes old I KNEW how things work from the most complex of mathematical equations to the most mundane of things!"
Gaz rolled her eyes and sarcastically asked "Really?"
Not catching the sarcasm, Zim nodded proudly "Yup"
"Ok then tell me dumbass, how was it possible that you couldn't set the timer on the Oven and Gir could?"
"Simple… I eh… uh… I'm forgetful of some things YES! And I programmed Gir to do it for me!"
Everyone in the room knew he was lying but didn't bother to comment on it, after all if they knew something by now it was Zim would never admit of having any flaws.
"Whatever" Gaz said with indifference "Now shut up I'm trying to win a game here!"
"From the looks of it you aren't any closer to winning than an hour ago" The computer pointed out.
Gaz looked up at the floating screen and spoke with an icy cold tone "I WILL win this and if I don't YOU will pay!"
"Why me?" The Computer questioned in a combination of fear and irritation.
"Because you opened your big trap now shut up or else!"
She looks down at the board with utter contempt.
Skoodge rubbed his chin and said to a virtual alien figure "Plookesian to Rocky guy six!"
Currently he and Gaz were playing a game of "Murder the enemy" which simply consisted of each player having over sixteen different virtual tiny alien races, whoever killed the other's holographic aliens first was usually the winner but every time these two played the game, it ended in a tie, don't ask how it just happens… it just does.
Gaz being one to never accept defeat or a tie for that matter always challenged the short fat alien to a game hoping that they wouldn't end in this horrible predicament again.
Right now Gaz and Skoodge had six aliens each; His Plookesian knight charges at the bulky rock alien and said rock guy batters the knight to the ground with his arm. The Plookesian then pulls out a flaming dagger, chops the rock alien in half and kicks him off the game board.
The Irken chuckles as he reclines in his seat "Your turn Gazzy"
The scary girl narrowed her eyes, no one ever calls her with a demeaning nickname and got away with it and while she wasn't about to admit it, she actually had a mild respect for the former invader so she almost wasn't too hard on him, key word being almost.
"Umm" Gaz pretended to think for a moment about her next strategy and maliciously ordered "All of you kick his ass!"
Her five remaining "minions" leap off from the board and knocked Skoodge to the ground and started to beat him up.
The overweight alien screamed in pain as all of Gaz's "minions" mercilessly continued with the assault for the next five minutes.
Once the suffering stopped, Skoodge croaked "Good… move"
Gaz looked up that the computer "Told you I would win"
Had the computer had any eyes, it would have raised an eyebrow skeptically "I would point out you broke several rules of the game in under a second but I rather just say you won, the last thing I want is for you to have me as your latest punching bag"
"Smart choice"
Gir entered the lab along with MiniMoose and a third Irken.
"Mastah looky it's your girlfriend!"
"GIR!"
Ex-Invader Tenn just rolled her eyes "Just ignore him Zim, you know he's just gonna forget it in the next five minutes"
Zim grunted in acknowledgement as he puts his goggles again, electricity crackling as he began his work without any further interruptions or so he hoped.
"Wow" Dib said in awe as he looked into the telescope "This amazing"
"What are you looking at Dib-Stink?"
"I asked the computer to let me see Planet Meekrob"
Tenn flinched at the mention of the planet; after she failed her mission due to the insane S.I.R Units the Tallest exiled her from the Empire, she tried to make a valid point in her case that it was the S.I.R Unit's fault not her own for her being exposed to the inhabitants, but that only made her leaders angrier, saying "Are you blaming your failure on us?"
After that, her title as an Invader was revoked and soon after was sent to the only planet the Irkens had no interest in conquering… Earth.
So long story short, she was met with Zim and Skoodge, this was bad luck as far as she saw it since she had no choice but to live with them, she was less than enthusiastic about the prospect of living with a defective or a short fat ugly guy both who were considered the laughingstock of their civilization but it sure beat the alternative of returning to her home planet and being looked down like trash for something that wasn't even her fault, so in a way she herself had gotten that status and had no place to consider the two other Irkens beneath her since they now shared the status of rejects, everyone in this lab did.
There was a time when she could believe her luck and miserably thought over and over again "This can't be my life"
"Planet Meekrob?" Gaz asked "Hey, wasn't that the world you were assigned to destroy?"
"Yes"
"And then you were given a dishonourable discharge because of some crazy robots causing mayhem all over your base forcing you to flee the planet?"
"Yes!" Tenn hissed indignantly "Now can we please change the subject? To something that doesn't involve my failed mission and current outcast status?!"
"Did they ever sent another Invader?" Dib asked curiously.
"I don't know!"
"I ask because I can see the Irken Armada around the planet"
Zim grunted "Then they must be ready to perform the organic sweep"
"Uh... I don't think that is what's going on" The teen said unsurely "Didn't you tell us the organic sweep usually involved your species carving the Irken Symbol onto the planet's surface?"
The three former Invaders answered him in a grunt, a "Yeah" or "That hurts"
"I see The Massive but all the other ships? Are they suppose to be shooting at each other?"
This caught all the aliens in the lab off-guard.
"Mind repeating that Dib-Beast?!"
"Are they suppose to be shooting at each other?"
Gaz who up to that point was quiet, walked over to her brother and violently shoved him off the chair.
"OW!"
"Whiner" Gaz sneered as she put her eye into the telescope "He's right... Your people must be really bad shots"
"That can't be right" Skoodge said "No one is a bad a shot as Zim"
"Yeah... Hey wait a minute!"
"We can all discuss how much Zim sucks later!" Tenn snapped "Now we gotta know what is going on! Computer, display scope image on screen."
The entire conservatory dome wall becomes a view screen, showing that true to Dib's words the Irken Armada seemed to be fighting among themselves.
"What in the hell is going on?!" Zim asked frustrated "This can't be real!"
"Seems pretty real to me" Gaz said nonchalantly "Am I to assume this is mutiny?"
"Maybe" Skoodge replied "Althought I must admit that nothing like this has ever happened before?"
"Ever?!" Dib asked intrigued as he stood up from the floor, cleaning any imaginary dirt from his shirt "You mean your species has never revolted against your leaders?!"
This time Tenn answered "Nope, our PAKS are programmed to shut down the moment someone tries to cause any harm to the Tallest."
"Which doesn't explain how Zim here doomed two of your leaders" Gaz commented.
"There is always an exception to the rule"
Before anything else could be said an alarm was blaring all over the lab "Incoming transmission from... The Massive"
The room suddenly went silent for a few seconds.
"So uh... What do we do?" Skoodge asked unsurely, having never received any transmission for the Tallest before.
"Ignoring it seems like the perfect solution if you ask me" Gaz said as she turned off the holographic game "Whatever your leaders want, you three don't owe them shit!"
"I'm with scary over there" Tenn agreed.
Dib however had a different idea "Now hold on a minute, aren't you the least bit curious about what they want?... I mean, think of it this way, they could be dying as simply have some sort of last minute remorse?"
Everyone looked at him as if he were an idiot.
"Just how many times did your sister punch you in your hippo sized head Dib-Pig?"
Before the raven haired teen could say anything about his head, the screen suddenly turned on by itself, an override system all Irken communicators had as an emergency.
Red and Purple looked at the screen, their robes were tattered, they had several bruises all over their faces and it seemed as if someone has bitten off parts of their skin.
"Mayday! Mayday, it's somebody there!"
This was a contrast from the very proud, powerful and arrogant leaders that the trio of former Invaders had respected and feared at one point in their military careers.
Dib who had also met the tyrannical leaders, couldn't help but look in awe of how different they seemed, he remembered seeing them as rather silent aliens, but now they sure seemed as if they were about to have a heart attack, clearly they never been in a position where they were playing the unfamiliar role of victims.
Gaz was the only one who didn't seemed fazed, if anything she got her game slave IV and started to slay some vampire piggies.
"ZIM IF YOU CAN HEAR US, COME TO THE MEEKROB SYSTEM!" Purple bellowed in fear "YOUR DESTRUCTIVE NATURE IS OUR ONLY HOPE!"
"Doom the planet and your exile will be revoked!" Red also shouted over the cannons that were hitting random ships "Enemies of the Empire have been sneaking around, taking control of our vessel! The viruses and destroying us! AHHHH!"
Then the screen went into static.
"How about that" Skoodge said "They didn't even mention us! How rude!"
"Are you really that surprised?" Tenn asked her companion.
Zim, stared at the static for a few more seconds, then turned off the screen, walking away from it as he once again sat down on his chair and began working again.
"Master... Want me to get the Cruiser ready for travel?" The Computer asked.
"Huh? Oh that won't be necessary"
"Why not?" Gaz asked uncaringly "Wouldn't you have loved to be the hero to your people for once?"
"You hear one lie, you hear them all" He replied stubbornly "For all we know, this could be another one of their very cruel jokes, they do be it before, so the Tallest are capable of causing Zim more pain! And I rather not risk it!"
Dib raised an eyebrow "Well, I wouldn't rule it out, I mean you once fooled me into giving me the perfect life, clearly your leaders can use the same technology to appear to be in danger just to fool you"
"Exactly! I am through being their puppet!" Zim bellowed out "NO MORE! That can take their amusement and shove it!"
"WHY ISN'T HE PICKING UP!" Purple screamed panicking.
"I don't know!" Red yelled back.
All of the sudden the main door to the bridge exploded, millions of metallic pieces hitting the navigators, soldiers and the Tallest.
Then came the in the intruders, walking space pants.
"We needs legs" One of the sentient trousers said "we're hungry"
"AHHHH!" Purple screamed "But we need our legs to be tall!"
Well, I hope you like the story, hopefully the ending made you laugh as much as it made me giggle, making people stare at me oddly, heh heh.
The idea of the space pants from the eighth issue making an alliance with the Meekrob and an eventual cameo with the desire to eat the Tallest legs was too funny and I just HAD to use it, plus if you remember Red claimed it was a virus, since the Irkens never came in contact with the space pants before, they didn't know of their special abilities.
Also, I know that Zim wouldn't turn his back on the Tallest, he is just too damn loyal to them but let's not forget, even he can have a breaking point.
So, anyway, leave a review telling me what are your final thoughts on this piece of work.
Invader Johnny Signing Off.