Hey guys! It feels weird being back here posting. Season three has been a difficult one for me and definitely stunted my inspiration for a while. But I've had this idea for a long time and I've been working on it for the past few months so I finally thought I ought to just post it already. I'm not normally a fan of married or baby!fics (normally because it's hard for me to write in character and that's always a pet peeve of mine) but hopefully you'll find some enjoyment in reading this.

Being the cliche I am, the song in mind is 'Losing Your Memory' by Ryan Star - a classic with just the right amount of angst I love. If you haven't already, I seriously recommend giving it a listen.

And now, onto Chapter One!

17th February 2021. 8:04pm.

"Don't forget the eggs either, okay? We're making cupcakes tomorrow. Oh, and when you get the bread, make sure you reach and get it from the back so it's fresher. And-"

"You know, I have been grocery shopping before."

Jay smiled as he hit the blinker, taking an easy left. The time just ticked over into 8:04pm, and there was a soft glow to the night of Chicago. He could maybe see the frost trying to set or the cold air dazzling in the streetlights, but this was how he liked his city. This was what he strived for.

"Oh, and could you get me shampoo? It's the-"

"Green one in the thin bottle. Unless they don't have that in which case it's the pink one with the purple label. Believe it or not, I kind of know you, Erin Lindsay."

He could hear her smile on the other end. "Really? And here I was thinking we were practically strangers."

"We could be later tonight." He said, biting back a smile as he pulled into the parking lot. "We haven't done role play in forever."

"I'm cutting you off right now because it's bath time and you're putting impure thoughts in my head."

Jay chuckled softly, pulling into a space. "I hope you've put down half our towels. Remember how wet you got last time?"

"Okay, that was your last chance. I'm ending the call before you can make any more sexual innuendos."

He smiled as he switched off the ignition. As he hauled the car door open, he could hear splashing in the background of the call.

"Okay babe, I'll see you soon." Erin said. "Luce, can you hear daddy's voice? Here, say bye to daddy."

Jay locked the car as he strode towards the grocery store, phone pressed tightly to his ear. "Hey, Luce! Do daddy a favour, okay? I want you to splash as hard as you can. Big splashes, okay?"

She reacted instantly, the enthusiasm of her four year old self roaring in her actions from what Jay could hear. Her giggles, the water crashing, and a groan from Erin elicited the most childlike of smiles from him.

"You ass." He heard Erin say through gritted teeth. He could help but smile at the image of his wife, sleeves rolled up and hair tied back, drenched in water as she kneeled in front of the bath.

"I thought we were trying to stop using the a-word in front of Lucy?"

"I'll stop using it when you stop being one." Erin said. "And using our own daughter against me? A low blow, Jay."

"I can't help it if it's in her nature. She gets that mischief from you, anyway."

"Well me and this little mastermind have gotta start working on a revenge plan so if I were you, I'd hurry home."

"Just try and stop me. I love you."

"Love you, too."

17th February 2021. 8:19pm.

Jay strode out of the store, both hands clutching bags of groceries. A slight rain had drizzled above him so he quickened his step, awkwardly unlocking his car as he juggled the bags. The cold wind nipped at him, and he ached to be home.

The streets were clear, and he was silently grateful to be avoiding the bustle of traffic. In fact, the roads were so empty, he was set to be home within minutes. But just like the calm before a storm, the silent streets became ominous. And it was only when he saw the blinding, painfully white lights of the truck swerving lanes heading for him, that Jay truly felt the pace of his heart quicken. Right before it stopped altogether.

17th February 2021. 8:34pm.

It felt hard to breath. Why? Why was it hard to breath? He tried swallowing instead, worried there was something wrong with his throat altogether. He wanted to shout, but couldn't. He tasted the coppery tang of blood in his mouth. His eyes shot open, he could hear voices all around him. To his left and to his right, maybe they were all in his head. He couldn't see much, merely light escaping from broken crevices. He felt around, yes, there, something tugging at his chest. His fingers roamed it… His seatbelt. That's right, he was driving. He was in the car and he saw bright lights.

His chest felt constricted, he couldn't breathe. The voices blurred around him, his eyes landing on shattered glass laced with a red liquid. Blood.

"-Gotta get him out now."

"No, we wait for the paramedics, we'll do more harm than good."

"Well we can't just leave him there? Hell, he'll bleed to death."

"We move him and he bleeds to death!"

He didn't recognise the voices but wanted to yell out to them. He tried. He tried again. He tried until his throat felt like it was on fire.

And then it went black.

17th February 2021. 9:14pm.

She tried his cell again, pacing by the window. It wasn't like Jay to take so long grabbing a few groceries. And it was more unlike Jay not to pick up. She didn't want to worry but she couldn't help it. And as her fourth call went to voicemail, she felt the gnawing feeling in the pit of her stomach that something was wrong.

She chewed her nail as she leaned on the island counter, eyes pleading with the black screen of her phone. Maybe he'd just ran into an old friend and went for a drink. But still, she knew he would've called. Maybe he was having car trouble. Again, he would've called.

She was about to call again, but an unknown number flashed up to her before she could. With worry swept over her, she answered the call without a second thought.

"Hello?"

"Hello, is this Erin Lindsay?"

"Yeah, who's this?"

"You're listed as Jay Halstead's emergency contact. He's your husband, is that right?"

"What's going on?"

"Is that right, Mrs. Lindsay?"

"Yes, yes, I'm his wife, where is he?"

"I'm afraid there's been an accident."

She felt as though she was falling, then soon realising her legs were giving under the weight of her. Her head was fuzzy, her vision blurry. She heard Lucy shout her name from her little girl's bedroom, but tried to hang onto the words being relayed to her through the phone. She grabbed onto bits and pieces like sand falling through her fingertips.

Chicago Med. Car accident. Internal bleeding. Surgery.

She left it somewhere in the air, shakily mumbling that she was on her way. She shoved the phone in her pocket and ran into her daughter's room, where she switched on the light and tore open the pink doors to Lucy's Princess Belle wardrobe.

"Mama, it's bedtime!" Lucy squealed, heartbreakingly excited by the change of pace. She sat up in her bed and rubbed her eyes with the back of her tiny pink hands as Erin scoured for a coat. She grabbed the first she saw, turning around and stuffing her daughter's arms into it, a little rougher than she intended.

"What's happening, Mama?"

"Uh," Erin wracked her brain as she leaned to grab Lucy's pair of flowery boots and zip her daughter's feet into them as quickly as possible. "We're just… We're going for a little drive, okay? Come on, it's like an adventure."

"Like Dora?" Lucy exclaimed, eyes wide.

"Yeah, exactly. Just like Dora. We have to be quick okay, so come on, sweetie…"

Erin trailed off as she headed towards the door, thinking Lucy was a step behind her. When she stopped and turned, she realised however her daughter was awkwardly making her bed, rearranging her toys and stuffed animals in an attempt to make them neater. It was as though she'd done it without thinking - it was a method that Jay had drilled into her the moment she was able to get herself out of bed. The thought made Erin want to bawl.

"Lucy, come on. You can do that later. We have to be quick, baby."

Lucy grabbed her stuffed giraffe and ran after her Mom, her tiny legs flailing as though pent up with excitement. It would've broken Erin's heart, if only she'd let herself think about it. Instead she grabbed her coat, grabbed her daughter's hand, and ran out of her apartment before she could let the sadness sink in.

At some point down the stairwell, Erin had taken to hauling Lucy in her arms, realising it'd be quicker to hold the youngster on her hip than wait for her minuscule legs to dismount each individual stair.

As they broke through the doors from her complex, Erin was struck with a thought and whipped her phone from her jeans pocket. She dialled the number she'd had memorised since she was sixteen and pressed the phone to the space between her shoulder and neck, holding it in place as she unlocked the car.

"Hank?"

"What is it, what's wrong?" He always could read her like a book.

She opened the backseat and saw Lucy's carseat. It was usually in Jay's car and they'd only recently moved it to Erin's on a whim. She thought for a second how lucky it was that she had it, then shook that insane thought from her head. None of this was lucky.

"He's been in an accident. They… Chicago Med called; he was in a car accident. They said something about internal bleeding…" She babbled as she fiddled with the carseat. Jay always had a knack at clipping it together in a hot second. She never could get it.

"Okay, kid calm down. Where are you?"

She snapped it into place and saw her daughter's eyes looking up into hers, a look of confusion mixed with intrigue. Erin bit her lip and forced a smile at Lucy before softly shutting the door and sinking into the driver's seat.

"We're just leaving home now… Hank, I… I don't know how to do this." She spluttered, pressing her palm into her forehead and taking a second to fall apart.

"I'll meet you there in ten minutes. Drive safe."

Thank you for reading! Please drop me a review with any and all of your thoughts or feelings.