Chapter Four: Pride

I looked out over the chasm as I played with my new lip ring with my tongue. A million thoughts danced through my head; Jeanine asking me to be her spy, Four showing me up in the fear landscape, my father's disapproval, everything came rushing at once. I hated moments of silence like this, the moments where I couldn't fight my demons away.

"Piece of cake for your thoughts?" I glanced to my right and saw Dove had come up beside me with a piece of the infamous Dauntless chocolate cake and two forks.

"Cake, yes. Thoughts, no."

"Aw, and to think I had to fight off an army of starving initiates for that cake!" She pointed her fork at me, "What a rip off."

I chuckled, and put a piece into my mouth, and continued to stare into the abyss in front of us.

"Seriously, are you okay?" She titled her head, concern etched in her face. Her beautiful, almost shockingly perfect, face. Dove reminded me of one of the porcelain dolls my mother used to collect.

"I'm fine, Dove." I said curtly. I didn't mean to be short with Dove, I didn't want to be. But I just didn't want her involved anywhere near this mess.

"Alright," She sighed, "But you know you don't have to pull the brooding tough guy act with me, right?"

"I know." I could feel my expression soften as I made eye contact with her, "I know that, Dove. I'm just stressed about initiation I guess."

"I get that." She nodded as she licked off a piece of chocolate on her fork, "But you can have some fun along the way. I mean, I got my ass handed to me by Four and I'm still having a great time."

Dove was grinning, but I couldn't even fake a smile. The fading bruises along her jawline and the way she still slightly limped after her run in with Four on the mat erased any chance I would find that subject light hearted.

"I want to kill him for that." I grinded my teeth together, feeling my hands instinctively clench when I thought of Dove falling to the ground after she made contact with Four's fist.

"Eric." She touched my shoulder gently, "He's apologized profusely. Seriously, I think the guy all but bursts into tears when he sees my face. It's part of Dauntless. It's totally fine."

"Oh god, you're part of the Four fan club too?" I said, throwing my fork over the chasm. Suddenly I had lost my appetite.

"I'll have you know I'm a proud member of the Eric fan club." She looked at me, raising an eyebrow, "But, I also know that Four isn't the villain you make him out to be. Who knows, maybe you two could even be friends?"

I scoffed. I wasn't friends with Stiffs.

"I'll take that as a maybe." Dove chuckled, "Come to the Pit tonight. Sean and I are meeting a few of the Dauntless borns."

She finished the last bite of cake, turned on her heels and walked away. She glanced back at me, winked, and threw me a small wave. That girl was going to be the death of me.

I tugged on the tight black t-shirt I had on and walked towards the pit. The pit was lively with laughter, music, and lots of yelling, and I just wanted to run away and go hide in my bunk.

We didn't have parties in Erudite and we sure as hell didn't congregate in a giant pits screaming at each other like animals.

I thought of all the more useful things I could be doing with my time. I could be in the gym, training for my fight with Four in two days, I could be gathering information for the next time Jeanine contacts me, or I could be getting some much needed sleep. I could be doing anything else, and it seemed like a better idea than this. But Dove asked me to come. So I came.

"There he is." I heard from behind me. I turned around to see Sean, my Candor transfer friend, walking towards me with open arms, "I didn't think you'd show."

"Dove invited me." I grumbled, scowling at him.

"Woah, I know." He laughed, "Relax, man. I'm happy you're here. Fuckin' thrilled, actually."

I raised an eyebrow at him, and followed along in silence as we approached a group of people in the corner of the Pit, sat in a circle. There was Dove, Leila, the other Candor transfer, Zeke, and a few other faces that I recognized as Dauntless borns. I breathed an audible sigh of relief when I didn't see the Stiff anywhere.

"Eric, you came!" Dove sprang up, wrapping her arms around my neck tightly. I didn't mind the touch, but from the stench of some sort of sweet alcohol on her breath, I began to think my presence wasn't the only source of her enthusiasm.

"Are you drunk?" I asked her quietly, close to her ear. I didn't want to embarrass her.

She shivered and looked up at me with an expression that almost looked like desire. She glanced at my lips and back up at me.

"Do you two want to get a room or should you just go at it in the middle of the pit?" Sean asked. I shoved him as Dove ducked her head and took her place back in the circle.

"To young love." Zeke yelled, handing me the bottle of alcohol they were passing around.

The Erudite in me wanted to lecture all of them about the dangers of alcohol, especially at our age, but the growing Dauntless in me made me shrug, take a swig from the bottle, and passed it over to Sean.

I ignored the burning in my throat, and turned my attention to one of the Dauntless borns who was now standing in the middle of the circle.

"Are you guys ready to play some Dauntless or Candor?"

"Shauna, you know you're going to have to explain the rules to our new guests." Zeke grinned.

"Ah, yes. How rude of me!" She giggled, and turned to us, "One person will be asked to pick Dauntless or Candor. If you pick Dauntless, you have to complete a dare of the asker's choosing. If you're a little bitch that picks Candor, you have to answer a question of the asker's choosing. Then that person asks someone and so on and so forth. It's real fun."

"Especially when this is involved." Zeke started to shake the bottle of alcohol that made its way back to him.

"Alright, me first!" Leila raised her hand and glanced at Sean, "Sean, Dauntless or Candor?"

"Hm." He pulled one of his knees up to his chest, "I'll throw it back to our roots, and say Candor. Hit me with it, Leila."

"Okay." Her eyes lit up, "What do you really think of Jack Kang?"

"Oh come on." He groaned.

Jack Kang was the leader of Candor. I could only imagine the personality traits one would have to have to become the leader of Candor.

"Jack Kang is a wonderful leader and I respe-" Sean paused and began laughing, "Okay, he's a total dick. You know it, I know it, everyone knows it. No truth serum in all of Candor could make me say nice things about that man."

Leila began belly laughing and grabbed Sean's hand in a moment of slightly drunken, friendly bliss that only two people that walked the same path could understand.

"Thank you for your candor, Sean." She smiled, mimicking the Candor saying.

"Alright, now it's my turn." Sean rubbed his hands together menacingly, and made eye contact with Zeke, "Zeke, you're up. Dauntless or Candor?"

"Dauntless." He replied, not missing a beat.

"I would love for you to take a lap around the pit here. " He said, stopping to take a sip from the bottle, "Naked, of course."

"Excuse me, transfer?"

"You heard me. Naked. Lap. Now."

"Dude, I can't run around nake-"

As Sean began to make chicken noises and flap his arms like wings, Zeke sighed and began to strip down.

"Sleep with one eye open, Sean."

"If you want to cuddle with me, Zeke, you only have to ask."

We all couldn't hold in our loud laughter as Zeke ran at lightning speed around the pit butt naked, receiving whistles and hollers from the other initiates and Dauntless members, and glares from Amar and the Dauntless leaders.

When Zeke returned back to the group, he quickly got dressed and plopped down.

"Well, I think Amar wants to kill me."

"Eh, join the club." I shrugged.

"Okay, Eric. How about you?" He turned to me, "Dauntless or Candor?"

I almost said Candor, but stopped. This was my moment to show my peers what I'm made of.

"Dauntless."

"Brave man. I dig that." He grinned, "I dare you to let us give you a Dauntless makeover."

"A what?"

"A Dauntless makeover. A haircut, some cool tattoos, make you look like one of us. Less Erudite librarian, and more Dauntless ready."

"Fine." I sighed, not like I had much of a choice anyway.

We made our way over to the tattoo parlor, and I sat for what felt like a century as Tori pierced giant holes in my ears and put black earrings through them, tattooed thick black patterns up and down my neck, and pierced my eyebrow.

When Zeke came at me with a razor, I had enough.

"Woah, what are you doing?"

"Haircut was part of the deal, bud. Stay still." He laughed, as I prayed to any God I could think of as I saw the amount of hair falling to the ground and heard the menacing buzzing sound coming from the razor in his hand.

After the "makeover" was complete, I got up and looked in the mirror. From the piercings, to the tattoos, to the Mohawk that sat at the top of my head, I didn't even recognize the person looking back at me. Gone was the Erudite, clean cut, well-polished Eric, and he was replaced with someone who looked like they jumped out of moving trains for fun.

"I think there's hope for him yet!" Zeke came up behind me, and placed his hands on my shoulders, "Seriously impressive, man. I guess you really are one of us."

"You look rad, Eric." Shauna threw me a thumbs up.

I turned around and glanced at Dove. She smiled softly and walked towards me.

"Well, what do you think?"

"I love it." She reached behind me and scratched the now shaven parts of my head, "You look like a total badass."

I grinned, and felt my cheeks blush as we followed the group that was now exiting the tattoo shop and heading back to the pit. Maybe I was in the right place after all.

I caught a glimpse of the familiar navy blue in the corner of my eye as I turned down the hallway to my bunk. Of course Jeanine was here. I had to be brought back down to reality after my fun night out.

Her eyes widened as she took me in. That's when I remembered my new Dauntless makeover and couldn't help but chuckle at her horrified expression.

"I can't…I'm not….We can't even talk about this right now." She held out her hand and made an up and down motion over me when she said 'this'.

"Then why are you here, Jeanine?"

"Come with me." She began to walk quickly down the hallway, as I didn't move.

"Do you not speak English anymore either?" She turned around, crossing her arms over her chest.

"You can't just expect me to follow you. You need to tell me what's going on and where we are going."

She sighed, and held out her arm to usher me over to her.

"We're going to my car. It's parked in the back, where no one can see. You have someone here that wants to talk to you, as do I."

"Fine." I grumbled. Not because I wanted to follow her, but because if there was one thing I've learned in the years I've known Jeanine, is that resistance is futile.

We walked in step down the hallway in silence, until she turned to me.

"Any updates on the situation?"

I explained to her about the fear landscape, and how Four had only four fears and how rare that was. I also told her about Amar's particular interest in my enemy.

"Huh." She touched her chin, "Divergents would have a distinct advantage in that type of forum."

"What do you mean?" I questioned.

"Well, because Divergents are immune to serums, they could manipulate the landscape. They wouldn't have to face their fears or calm themselves like you did, because they could just manipulate the landscape to help them. It would be pretty quick work, I'd imagine."

"You don't think?" I couldn't even find that sentence. Tobias Eaton? The Stiff? He was a Divergent?

"I'm not sure. Probably not. Either way, it's something to work with. Nice work, Eric." She nodded, as she held open the door for me at the end of the hallway.

We stepped outside and I saw the familiar black, unmarked town car parked in an isolated place in the parking lot. Those were the cars Erudite used for their most important members, like Jeanine Matthews for example.

As we approached the car and the window rolled down, I felt the air in my lungs disappear. I had to hold on to the door to keep myself standing.

"Hello Eric." The man sitting in the car smiled at me. It was my father.

A/N: Okay, so what did you guys think? Please let me know! I wanted to make a little more light hearted chapter…I'll add the Four/Eric fight next chapter if you guys think I should continue. Thank you for reading, it means so much to me xxx