A/N- NEW STORY! I'm so sorry its been so long since I've updated but university takes up a lot of time. I'm home for the summer now though so updates should be more frequent. This is the longest I've written so far, and has been my favourite to write too. It gets a little deep, a little intense, and a little violent, so enjoy the read, please review, and thanks for being so patient with me :) xxxx

Chapter 1

The docks of New York City contain a mish-mash of metal containers, ramshackle pontoons and abandoned warehouses, crumbling with time. Cold winter nights make the place almost unbearable, anyone without enough layers on freezing in the crisp air. But in the summer, it can be rather agreeable, if you can ignore the smell of diesel and sewage wafting through the pleasant breeze. It is on one of these nights that we find a meeting taking a place. But it is filled with fear, a single grating voice cutting through the warm air like a dagger of ice. It is threatening and imperative, relaying a plan that has been slowly developing for months now.

Inside a large warehouse in the east segment of the docks, a crowd of black clad ninjas stood listening to their master. He loomed above them on a slightly upper level, decked out in glinting steel. On his right stood a young woman in similar but less menacing garb, whilst on his left was a huge beastly man, his muscles rippling every time he shifted his stance. They looked out over the crowd, watching for anyone to dare flinch at their master's plan; to not listen or worse, disagree. Of course, no one does.

"This plan, if well executed, is fool-proof," the voice continued, his underlying threat soon becoming evident. "If it fails, then you, my 'faithful' soldiers, are the ones who will pay the price for your dishonour. Hun shall lead the first group at the final destination." A shiver of dread went through those who would be subject to Hun's command. "You shall be preparing it and keeping watch for any unwanted visitors. Karai shall lead the hunting operation, and I trust her to judge when the correct time to strike shall be. This may be in a few days, perhaps a few weeks. So we must be patient and constantly alert."

A nod of understanding went through the crowd, a smirk of excitement touching the extremists in the party. Revenge would finally be granted, and they would enjoy every second.

"Be thankful for this opportunity Foot Ninja!" Their Master cried, his voice projecting through the airy room. "Attack without mercy, but do not kill. That is a pleasure we shall all share together. You shall have revenge! You shall have justice! And we shall have the ultimate weapon!"

A great cheer erupted from the crowd as their Master turned around to descend from the platform. His thick steel helmet masked a malicious grin: This plan would work. He would get his revenge and the justice he deserved. And then he would have unstoppable power.

He made his way out of a back door and walked towards the limo waiting for him. Hun stayed by the door while Karai made her way to speak to the driver. Their Master caught his reflection in the tinted windows and smiled again. Soon, he would be rid of his 'problem', and all would fear his name. The name of The Shredder.

Venus shot awake with a start, panting heavily and eyes wide. She looked around frantically, disorientated, not knowing her surroundings while her heart beat frantically in her chest in fright. She rubbed her eyes and tried to slow her breathing, focusing on calming down. Slowly, she began to recognize April's living room, with its purple walls and beige carpet. Her bedroom door remained silent, and Venus was thankful she hadn't woken her friend like she used to when she first moved in. Her nightmares were always the same: Chung I screaming at her, claiming she had dishonoured him and the Shinobi clan, before the dream would shift to Splinter, shouting that she'd betrayed his family, who had taken her in so long ago. Sometimes the nightmares would end in fire, or Splinter cradling one his sons, who lay lifeless in his arms. More often than not it was Leo. Occasionally the Shredder would appear and attack the entire family, including April and Casey, while she stood helpless, not bound or chained but unable to move. Her friends would beg for her help, and she would try summoning a shield. But she never would be able to, and she would watch them all perish whilst their enemy's cackling flooded her ears. Either way, Venus would always wake up screaming, April running out of her room to try and calm her friend down. After a month, Venus had managed to control her emotions enough to stop herself crying out so much, and had eventually trained herself to silence. Then April could at least get some sleep.

Venus had been staying with April for about six months now, camping out on her sofa. She'd been worried about invading her friend's privacy at first and taking up too much room in her small apartment. But over the past few months April had been spending more and more time with Casey, either going out together or staying at his. Venus wondered if the pair had ever wanted to stay at April's, but guessed they avoided it with her living there. And Venus was secretly thankful.

She twisted her head slightly to see the clock on the wall. 4 AM. Time for a little more sleep, I reckon. Venus thumped her pillow a little before wrapping the thin blanket around herself and settling down. The large open window allowed a gentle breeze to flow in but the summer air was still warm and slightly clammy. She closed her eyes, wanting to escape the reality that today would bring. The day that she'd been dreading for weeks now.

Venus awoke a few hours later to the smell of bacon wafting through the apartment. She cracked an eye open, only to be blinded by sunlight streaming through the window. She turned over to face the ceiling, catching something brought in her peripheral vision. She sat up and saw a yellow balloon hovering in the corner of the room, blue '21's' decorating it.

"Oh no," Venus groaned slightly, kicking the blankets off her legs. April turned from the stove and ran up to her friend.

"Happy birthday Venus!" She cried, joy emanating from the grin plastered on her face. Venus attempted a smile back, not being awake enough to take in April's excitement.

"Thanks April," Venus muttered, standing up and stretching. She really didn't want to experience today.

"Now, you go and have a shower while I finish your breakfast. I saved you the last of the mango shower gel just for today." April's tone was commanding but lessened by the nice gesture. Venus loved the mango shower gel. The turtle groaned again as she was practically pushed into the bathroom, the door slamming behind her. April sighed with relief, thankful for getting her friend this far: She knew that Venus had been dreading this day for weeks now, although she wasn't sure why. It was her birthday for goodness sake! And her 21st, no less. She was an adult now, who wouldn't be excited?

April shook her head, not understanding Venus' dread before returning to the bacon. Venus, however, stood in the shower, the warm water trickling over her skin calming her anxiety a little. Today brought so many opportunities, but she knew none of them would be taken advantage of. Now that she was 21, she could move out of April's apartment. She could stop being a burden on her friend and find her own little patch of freedom. Except she couldn't: for the past month now, she'd been looking down in the sewers for a lair similar to the guys', only smaller. She'd even extended her search beyond their 'territory', but hadn't found anything. The storage rooms or abandoned stations she found were either too small or too derelict to be salvageable. April had accompanied her to every possible home, and every time had said Venus was more than welcome to stay with her when each option was labelled not suitable or unsafe. But Venus knew April yearned for her to be gone, even if just a little. If Venus wasn't there then maybe Casey could come over more, or the pair could go out even more often. Venus didn't mind being home alone and had spent a few nights on her own in the apartment, but she knew April felt guilty for 'abandoning' her friend. Yet, Venus didn't want to leave.

Now that she was 21, Venus had the right to detach herself from the guys. She could leave New York and make her own way in life. Not go back to China but maybe somewhere else. Hone her Shinobi skills even more by isolating herself in the mountains or forests of Asia. Anywhere perhaps where a Shinobi elder resided and could help her become a great master. Except she couldn't: the guys meant too much to her and had done too much for her to just walk away from them. Although she wasn't living with them anymore she still visited with April, having movie nights and such. Splinter was stern but wouldn't isolate Venus completely. She very occasionally went on missions with them at first. The guys had asked her secretly before she discovered Splinter had tried to discourage them from asking to Venus accompanying them. She then refused to come without Splinter's permission, not wanting to dig herself into an even bigger hole. They hadn't fought as a complete team for a long time now, the Foot's low level of activity certainly helping that. The guys had seemingly forgiven her, Mikey begging her to come back the first time she'd visited the lair after moving out. After seeing the pain in Venus' face, Raph had hit his brother to shut him up. She sometimes forgot how well he knew her.

Now that she was 21, Venus could waltz into the lair and stand up to Splinter. Tell him he was wrong for separating her and Leo and the pair could do whatever they wanted, for the latter was 21 too. In fact, all the turtles were, sharing a birthday that was really the day they all got mutated. So she and Leo could technically start a relationship, run away together, anything. Except they wouldn't: Venus had made that choice for them by not allowing Leo having to make the choice between her and his own family. Their little clan was a solid unit. They got on well, and seemingly survived anything. From being incomplete for 18 months to all nearly dying at the hand of their enemy. They stuck together no matter what, and Venus would not be the one to break them apart. Even if it meant she had to take herself out of the equation.

As Venus lathered herself with the invigorating shower gel, the electric scent of mango seemingly clearing her senses, a thought struck her. But did she have to take herself out completely? She remembered the words Splinter had said to her the night she'd made her most painful decision ever:

"Choose another of my sons, by all means, although that may be difficult due to your actions, or lack of, tonight."

He had given her permission to perhaps choose one of the other guys. To have a chance of happiness with someone else. But could she do it? She loved Mikey, but he was more like a little brother to her due to his immaturity. It could be annoying at times, but it was what made Mikey 'Mikey', and she adored him for it. But was she in love with him? Certainly not.

Donny was a more suitable option, definitely. He was calm, kind, intelligent…maybe too intelligent. It wasn't that she felt stupid around him, but his scientific ideals clashed with her Shinobi fundamentals. A lot. The pair argued horrendously when they were younger about the differences between the two, and although as they grew older their clashes were a lot more light hearted and jokey, they were still there. Donny was her friend, the one she confided in when she didn't understand something 'human' and the one she sought to cheer her up in the way she needed when feeling down. He understood her character better than Mikey, but she still couldn't see herself involved with him.

Then there was Raphael. She'd nearly gone down this path a long time ago. But the way he'd latched onto her only made her want to pull away. He wasn't controlling but…protective. Overly so. He wanted to keep her safe and in doing so was stunting her freedom. And Venus had realized another thing during that time: He didn't really love her, but rather the comfort she provided. None of the guys had ever had the chance to experience what it was like to have 'a girl'. This had made them feel a little isolated and self-conscious when April arrived on the scene: She was a human, and of course wouldn't think of the guys like that. But Venus was different. She was the same species for a start. And it soon became apparent that Raph most of all wanted a sense of inclusion. Well, to Venus anyway. But his feelings were border lining obsession, and she didn't want to be trapped by him, whilst wanting him too to be free. He came to realise this pretty quickly, their visit to her home opening his eyes a little. He didn't want to be responsible for Venus. He wasn't ready for it. He wasn't ready for a commitment like that. Yet. Venus suspected he would calm down a little as he grew older, and then be a wonderful companion to any lucky person. It just wasn't to be her.

She hoped desperately that all three would find love in some way or form, mutant or human, but she realised it wouldn't be with her. She felt her cheeks flush a little in shame at having gone through each turtle and listing their strengths and weaknesses to her. Like she'd told Master Splinter, she wasn't an animal who could choose their 'mate' according to how well they impressed her. And in all truth, she could never do that to Leo; she could never just replace him with one of his brothers, as if she hadn't loved him at all. Because she had loved him, and that was why she had made her decision. Because she loved him, and wanted to protect him. But over the past few months that love had been mingled with guilt, misery, confusion and fear. A part of her for the first couple of months had desperately wanted Leo to come storming into the apartment, sweep her up into his arms and take her away, not caring about his father. But of course he hadn't. She had said the 'guys' had seemingly forgiven her; the 'guys' asked her to join in on missions. But in truth, only Raphael, Donatello and Michelangelo had done so. Leonardo had barely spoken to her for months now, perhaps bitter at her sudden, unexplained departure, or simply following his father's orders. But he also hadn't come because that would mean he also didn't care about his brothers. Leo respected his father ultimately, not just for his skill in ninjitsu but for all he'd done for him and his brothers. His word was final, and Leo was perfectly okay with that. So were his brothers seemingly. Leo's family came first, she knew that, and in fact had encouraged it on that fateful night six months ago. And as much as Venus told herself that, a sliver of bitter betrayal resided in her heart, her selfish want winning a small battle within her conscience.

Venus stepped out of the shower, now rinsed and clean, and dried herself off with a towel. Her mind was a whirring mess when she came to the mirror, still slightly steamed. She picked up her mask from the small hook behind the door and fastened it tightly around her face, focusing on her own, slightly distorted eyes. Combined with her other emotions, the love she felt for Leo had been contorted and stretched to form a new emotion she didn't recognize; she no longer knew how she felt for Leonardo.