Escape
Chapter 8
Self Pity
Please review! I like to hear it all, good or bad!
~*~*~*~*~*~
Momiji had been watching the little TV screen when she realized that Kusanagi was once again missing, she then got up and searched the lab for him. She soon found him in the bathroom starring at himself.
~*~*~*~*~*~
"Look at yourself you freak. You should go and get the letters F-R-E-A-K tattooed on you forehead!" Kusanagi thought with much hatred. His anger was quickly rising with the thoughts going through his head. "Your purpose for living is to protect the kushinada and now you can't even do that! They don't trust you anymore. And why should they? You even look like a monster! Surprised that you don't act like one!" Kusanagi's anger rose to its limit to the point that he couldn't stand it any longer. With bearing teeth and tight fists he struck the mirror. "Ahhh!" the glass flew all over the room and for the first time Kusanagi noticed Momiji standing in the doorway.
"Eek!" Momiji yelped as she tried to move away from the flying glass.
Kusanagi quickly ran over to her and wrapped his arms around her. "Are you okay? I'm so sorry!" Kusanagi apologized.
"Yes, but why did you do that?" Momiji questioned.
"My anger just got the best of me I guess. I think Momiji that you would be safer at home. I mean look at what I just did all because I hate not being human." Kusanagi was getting upset with himself once again.
"What!" Momiji then saw that his hand had blood on it. She quickly got a washcloth and started to dab at the blood. "Look at how fast you heal. It's not freaky or scary. It's amazing! It really is Kusanagi. I wish that you could only see what I see." Momiji told him in a gentle and soothing voice.
"Well I don't see what you see! And what you see is just an illusion! So just get over me!" Kusanagi yelled. He jerked his hand away and walked over to the big picture window at the other end of the room. He looked out the window and could see his own reflection painted on top of the battered landscape in front of him. These buildings of a once splendid side of Tokyo now lay in ruins like his own spirit. They were a symbol of his own torture. "I don't enjoy this. I hate who I am!" Kusanagi hissed. He turned around noticing Momiji walking up behind him. "Do you know how lonely it is to hate yourself? I can't stand to watch you fall for someone that doesn't even know how to stop hating themselves!" Kusanagi tried to stop the words from coming out, but his mouth was no longer under his control. And he dreaded what else they would decide to say. "Momiji don't you get it! I'm not right for you!" Kusanagi knew that if he didn't stop now he would be in big trouble. But how could he? "Shit this is hard! How can I tell you not to love me when I can't stop myself from. from. well, loving you!" Kusanagi watched as Momiji's face went from concerned, to confused, and it finally settled on total happiness.
"Are you serious Kusanagi? Do you really love me?" Momiji wasn't sure she should trust believe him.
"Well yea, I sure am but." Kusanagi couldn't get the rest of his sentence out because Momiji was now hanging around his neck. "Momiji come on now! This is beside the point. I have a real problem!" Kusanagi knew that Momiji cared for him, but all this emotion was just to weird for him. "Enough! I don't care anymore! Forget that I ever said anything!" Kusanagi yelled as he pulled Momiji away from him.
"I know that something is wrong with you and I also know that I could help. That's only if you stop pushing me away! I'm sorry to break it to you, but I'm never going to stop loving you! So just let me help you!" Momiji said. "You know what.you're just ridiculous!
"Really? Well thank you so much!" all Kusanagi wanted to do was get out of there.
"Where are you going?" Momiji asked.
"Away!" Kusanagi said bluntly.
"No Kusanagi! Please don't leave me!" Momiji yelled. She heard Kusanagi start talking with his back turned to her, but couldn't hear because the thing in her head began to attack her.
"I'm so dumb! I mean to actually think that I could one day be able to stop hating my self! I'm a monster, a freak! No one can change that."
"Kus. Kusa. ahhh!" Momiji screamed as she felt a sharp pain on her back.
Kusanagi turned around just in time to see Momiji's small body falling forward. Luckily he was quick enough to catch her. "Momiji what's going on? Is it the monster?"
"Yes" Momiji whispered as she snuggled further into Kusanagi's arms. "It's getting stronger! Just don't leave me. I need you in more ways than one." Momiji said right before she passed out.
"I'm sorry Momiji, but I'm taking you to ms. Matsu." After calling ms. Matsu, Kusanagi jumped into the sky with Momiji tightly in his arms. He had wrapped her in his red trench coat to make sure she wouldn't get to cold. When he landed in front of the new TAC building he noticed that Momiji was starting to wake up. "Go back to sleep princess." Kusanagi whispered in her ear.
"Where are we?" Momiji said a little droggy.
"Were at the TAC building. Ms. Matsu is here." Kusanagi said as he started through the door and up the stairs.
"No! They'll send you back to jail and I'll never see you again!" Momiji said as tears started to line he bottom eyelid.
"I don't want to hear it Momiji! I have a job to do and I will fulfill it!" Kusanagi said as he reached the last step. Kusanagi then opened the door to the lab where he saw ms. Matsu standing getting the lab ready. He heard her trying to talk to him, but he was not there to talk, but to get Momiji safe. Kusanagi walked past her and laid Momiji down on the cot.
"Kusanagi?" ms. Matsu said quietly.
"What? I don't feel much like defending myself right now." Kusanagi said bluntly.
"Oh Kusanagi for some reason I believe you. I also for some reasons believe that bunches of people are also forgetting that Momiji is old enough to make her own decisions. She is 18 you know." Ms. Matsu declared.
"I know what you're implying. I use her age as a cover for the truth. Really I want to be with her more than anything, but look at me! A girl like her deserves a guy that she can be proud to be with. I'm a monster." Kusanagi said making sure he kept his eyes on the ground.
"Kusanagi! Listen to your self! This is not the Kusanagi that we have all gotten to know! Not only are you denying yourself something you really want, but you are also denying Momiji her wishes. Also this relationship is something you both need!" ms. Matsu said really shocked to hear him talking this way.
"It seems to me that it doesn't really matter what either of us want or for that matter need! Just to remind you, but I am being chased by the police! I don't think Kunikida or Ryoko will allow us to ever be together if they can help it." Kusanagi said with much doubt in his voice.
"Well I can be pretty convincing at times. So I'll try and get them to see the truth, but in the mean time if you don't want to see your police buddies anytime soon then I suggest you high-tail it out of here."
"Why? Did you call the police on me?"
"No, but I had to call the rest of the TAC members. I'm sorry, but it's just one of my obligations as a member of the team." She apologized.
"I understand, but well I just can't go. I have to stay here with Momiji. I promised." Kusanagi said as he turned to Momiji and walked over to her. He pulled up a chair and sat down beside her. He took her hand and clasped both hands over it. Her body was turning pale which made her hair only stand out more.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
"Is she her yet?" Kunikida yelled as he burst through the door. He then stopped dead in his tracks as he spotted Kusanagi sitting down beside Momiji holding her hand. "What is he doing here? Get him away from her! Ryoko call the police!"
"No! Stop I need him!" Momiji quickly sat up and yelled. Her yell then turned into a scream as her body was slammed back down on the cot. She moaned and held her stomach as if she was hit there.
"Momiji!" Kusanagi hollered.
"Hmm" ms. Matsu said from behind a computer. She turned and faced the rest of the TAC team, which had just burst in. "Don't call the police. I want Kusanagi here. I also want everyone to meet in the conference room we need to talk."
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Everyone minus Momiji met in the conference room. Kusanagi quickly took a seat away from everyone else. He knew this meeting would become very personal to him and thought the further he was the easier it would be to contain his emotions.
"Now I think we need to have a discussion about the relationship between Kusanagi and Momiji." Ms. Matsu announced.
"That's easy! I want him back in jail and away from Momiji, forever!" Kunikida said.
"Why? What did I do wrong?" Kusanagi asked. He still didn't have a good idea as to why they hated him.
Ryoko stood up from her seat and cleared her throat. "We are concerned that when you kidnapped Momiji and kept her at your apartment that you well.abused her." Ryoko stopped and turned to Kunikida as a thought hit her. "You know now that we know that it's something inside her that is hitting her then why are we still upset with Kusanagi?"
"Because he kidnapped her." Kome answered.
Kusanagi was sick of hearing this, which he demonstrated by slamming a fist of the table and jerking to his feet. "I didn't take her! I was just a step in front of the police and found her first! I took her to my place because she believed that once I dropped her off at her house that I would never come back! That's all! I swear!"
Kusanagi slowly sat back down as ms. Matsu began to speak again. "I think that we need to leave Momiji and Kusanagi alone and let them decide what they want to do." Kusanagi pulled out a file containing some papers. "I have a suspicion that this monster is attacking Momiji because once it gets strong enough it can break free and attack the city."
"So it gets strong by feeding of her pain?" Ryoko reasoned.
"Well yes and no. It does get stronger from her pain, but not from a physical pain. From what I've heard of the reason she ran away the first time I believe that the monster picked her because she was upset."
"So whatever upsetted her then attacked it and now it is still feeding on that same pain?" Ryoko tried again.
"Yes. At the time she was upset with her relationship with Kusanagi. Now if you connect the dots every time she is attacked it is any time Kusanagi and her relationship is threatened. I can even bet that that's what these nightmares are of when it attacks."
"So that's more proof that we should keep me away from her." Kusanagi said softly.
"Yes! So should I tell her or you?" Kunikida said with a smile.
Matsu knew this wasn't right but before she could say anything Kunikida and Kusanagi left. She quickly caught up with Kusanagi before he went into the room. She pulled him aside and in a low voice said, " remember Kusanagi what is really important here, you. What will good be good for Momiji is what is good for you. If you go in there and realize that you love her so much that it hurts to think of never seeing her again, then I want you to care for no one else. For once do what you want for no one else. You are a free man now! Exercise you right to do what you wish!"
Kusanagi nodded and then slowly walked into the room. His heart skipped a beat as he saw Momiji lying on the cot, her body pale.
Momiji turned her head and gave him a sweet smile. "Hi!" Momiji didn't miss the look on his face though. "What's wrong?"
Kusanagi turned his head to the side, took a deep breath and then straightened up. "Momiji we need to talk." Kusanagi walked over to the cot and took her hand. "I. I think it will be better for you if I just left. We found out that the monster feeds off the turmoil that our relationship."
"So stop the turmoil by being with me! You can't do this. I need you."
As Momiji rambled on Kusanagi felt a pain inside of him. 'What have I done?' the more she spoke the more he saw how much he cared for her. He saw tears brim her eyes as she wept over Kusanagi's announcement. Ms. Matsu's words rang in his ears. "No stop." Kusanagi whispered with his hands over his ears. Never had he felt such pain. "I'm so sorry Momiji.please stop." 'Is this really what I want? No of coarse not, if it was then it wouldn't hurt this much.'
Kusanagi put his hands on Momiji's shoulders and noticed that she was out of control. "Kusanagi how could you do this to me? I love you. Didn't you even say that you loved me? Wait no you didn't! You never said I love you. I've always just come to that conclusion!"
Kusanagi tried to tell her to stop, to listen to him, but she wouldn't. He remembered when she did this before. The only way to make her stop was to embrace her in a hug. He guessed it was slapping someone that was going hysterical. "Momiji calm down, please." It was odd but for the first time in his life he let go of his restraint on him self and just allowed him self to think with his heart. Before he knew it his hands had cupped Momiji's face and his lips were now upon her own.
Momiji's eyes flew open at the shock of his lips. Slowly she relaxed into the kiss. It was intense and pleasantly rough. She draped her arms around his neck as he moved his hands to wrap around her back. She was pulled closer to him as the intensity of their kiss deepened. It was utter bliss for Momiji.
Kusanagi had never felt so free in his life. How could he feel like a monster while kissing this perfect human? This is what Kusanagi felt like it would be like to be a human. Free from the taunting and odd looks of others. Kusanagi only wanted more, more of the freedom that he had sought for so many years. It was ironic how all this time he thought that to love someone else you had to first love yourself, but in truth it was the opposite.
"You've freed me Momiji. Thank you." Kusanagi whispered across her lips as the kiss broke.
"Does this mean that you're not leaving me?" Momiji said with a smile.
"Sure does." Kusanagi said as he kissed her nose. "I would really have to be a freak to leave something so wonderful."
Please review! I like to hear it all, good or bad!
~*~*~*~*~*~
Momiji had been watching the little TV screen when she realized that Kusanagi was once again missing, she then got up and searched the lab for him. She soon found him in the bathroom starring at himself.
~*~*~*~*~*~
"Look at yourself you freak. You should go and get the letters F-R-E-A-K tattooed on you forehead!" Kusanagi thought with much hatred. His anger was quickly rising with the thoughts going through his head. "Your purpose for living is to protect the kushinada and now you can't even do that! They don't trust you anymore. And why should they? You even look like a monster! Surprised that you don't act like one!" Kusanagi's anger rose to its limit to the point that he couldn't stand it any longer. With bearing teeth and tight fists he struck the mirror. "Ahhh!" the glass flew all over the room and for the first time Kusanagi noticed Momiji standing in the doorway.
"Eek!" Momiji yelped as she tried to move away from the flying glass.
Kusanagi quickly ran over to her and wrapped his arms around her. "Are you okay? I'm so sorry!" Kusanagi apologized.
"Yes, but why did you do that?" Momiji questioned.
"My anger just got the best of me I guess. I think Momiji that you would be safer at home. I mean look at what I just did all because I hate not being human." Kusanagi was getting upset with himself once again.
"What!" Momiji then saw that his hand had blood on it. She quickly got a washcloth and started to dab at the blood. "Look at how fast you heal. It's not freaky or scary. It's amazing! It really is Kusanagi. I wish that you could only see what I see." Momiji told him in a gentle and soothing voice.
"Well I don't see what you see! And what you see is just an illusion! So just get over me!" Kusanagi yelled. He jerked his hand away and walked over to the big picture window at the other end of the room. He looked out the window and could see his own reflection painted on top of the battered landscape in front of him. These buildings of a once splendid side of Tokyo now lay in ruins like his own spirit. They were a symbol of his own torture. "I don't enjoy this. I hate who I am!" Kusanagi hissed. He turned around noticing Momiji walking up behind him. "Do you know how lonely it is to hate yourself? I can't stand to watch you fall for someone that doesn't even know how to stop hating themselves!" Kusanagi tried to stop the words from coming out, but his mouth was no longer under his control. And he dreaded what else they would decide to say. "Momiji don't you get it! I'm not right for you!" Kusanagi knew that if he didn't stop now he would be in big trouble. But how could he? "Shit this is hard! How can I tell you not to love me when I can't stop myself from. from. well, loving you!" Kusanagi watched as Momiji's face went from concerned, to confused, and it finally settled on total happiness.
"Are you serious Kusanagi? Do you really love me?" Momiji wasn't sure she should trust believe him.
"Well yea, I sure am but." Kusanagi couldn't get the rest of his sentence out because Momiji was now hanging around his neck. "Momiji come on now! This is beside the point. I have a real problem!" Kusanagi knew that Momiji cared for him, but all this emotion was just to weird for him. "Enough! I don't care anymore! Forget that I ever said anything!" Kusanagi yelled as he pulled Momiji away from him.
"I know that something is wrong with you and I also know that I could help. That's only if you stop pushing me away! I'm sorry to break it to you, but I'm never going to stop loving you! So just let me help you!" Momiji said. "You know what.you're just ridiculous!
"Really? Well thank you so much!" all Kusanagi wanted to do was get out of there.
"Where are you going?" Momiji asked.
"Away!" Kusanagi said bluntly.
"No Kusanagi! Please don't leave me!" Momiji yelled. She heard Kusanagi start talking with his back turned to her, but couldn't hear because the thing in her head began to attack her.
"I'm so dumb! I mean to actually think that I could one day be able to stop hating my self! I'm a monster, a freak! No one can change that."
"Kus. Kusa. ahhh!" Momiji screamed as she felt a sharp pain on her back.
Kusanagi turned around just in time to see Momiji's small body falling forward. Luckily he was quick enough to catch her. "Momiji what's going on? Is it the monster?"
"Yes" Momiji whispered as she snuggled further into Kusanagi's arms. "It's getting stronger! Just don't leave me. I need you in more ways than one." Momiji said right before she passed out.
"I'm sorry Momiji, but I'm taking you to ms. Matsu." After calling ms. Matsu, Kusanagi jumped into the sky with Momiji tightly in his arms. He had wrapped her in his red trench coat to make sure she wouldn't get to cold. When he landed in front of the new TAC building he noticed that Momiji was starting to wake up. "Go back to sleep princess." Kusanagi whispered in her ear.
"Where are we?" Momiji said a little droggy.
"Were at the TAC building. Ms. Matsu is here." Kusanagi said as he started through the door and up the stairs.
"No! They'll send you back to jail and I'll never see you again!" Momiji said as tears started to line he bottom eyelid.
"I don't want to hear it Momiji! I have a job to do and I will fulfill it!" Kusanagi said as he reached the last step. Kusanagi then opened the door to the lab where he saw ms. Matsu standing getting the lab ready. He heard her trying to talk to him, but he was not there to talk, but to get Momiji safe. Kusanagi walked past her and laid Momiji down on the cot.
"Kusanagi?" ms. Matsu said quietly.
"What? I don't feel much like defending myself right now." Kusanagi said bluntly.
"Oh Kusanagi for some reason I believe you. I also for some reasons believe that bunches of people are also forgetting that Momiji is old enough to make her own decisions. She is 18 you know." Ms. Matsu declared.
"I know what you're implying. I use her age as a cover for the truth. Really I want to be with her more than anything, but look at me! A girl like her deserves a guy that she can be proud to be with. I'm a monster." Kusanagi said making sure he kept his eyes on the ground.
"Kusanagi! Listen to your self! This is not the Kusanagi that we have all gotten to know! Not only are you denying yourself something you really want, but you are also denying Momiji her wishes. Also this relationship is something you both need!" ms. Matsu said really shocked to hear him talking this way.
"It seems to me that it doesn't really matter what either of us want or for that matter need! Just to remind you, but I am being chased by the police! I don't think Kunikida or Ryoko will allow us to ever be together if they can help it." Kusanagi said with much doubt in his voice.
"Well I can be pretty convincing at times. So I'll try and get them to see the truth, but in the mean time if you don't want to see your police buddies anytime soon then I suggest you high-tail it out of here."
"Why? Did you call the police on me?"
"No, but I had to call the rest of the TAC members. I'm sorry, but it's just one of my obligations as a member of the team." She apologized.
"I understand, but well I just can't go. I have to stay here with Momiji. I promised." Kusanagi said as he turned to Momiji and walked over to her. He pulled up a chair and sat down beside her. He took her hand and clasped both hands over it. Her body was turning pale which made her hair only stand out more.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
"Is she her yet?" Kunikida yelled as he burst through the door. He then stopped dead in his tracks as he spotted Kusanagi sitting down beside Momiji holding her hand. "What is he doing here? Get him away from her! Ryoko call the police!"
"No! Stop I need him!" Momiji quickly sat up and yelled. Her yell then turned into a scream as her body was slammed back down on the cot. She moaned and held her stomach as if she was hit there.
"Momiji!" Kusanagi hollered.
"Hmm" ms. Matsu said from behind a computer. She turned and faced the rest of the TAC team, which had just burst in. "Don't call the police. I want Kusanagi here. I also want everyone to meet in the conference room we need to talk."
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Everyone minus Momiji met in the conference room. Kusanagi quickly took a seat away from everyone else. He knew this meeting would become very personal to him and thought the further he was the easier it would be to contain his emotions.
"Now I think we need to have a discussion about the relationship between Kusanagi and Momiji." Ms. Matsu announced.
"That's easy! I want him back in jail and away from Momiji, forever!" Kunikida said.
"Why? What did I do wrong?" Kusanagi asked. He still didn't have a good idea as to why they hated him.
Ryoko stood up from her seat and cleared her throat. "We are concerned that when you kidnapped Momiji and kept her at your apartment that you well.abused her." Ryoko stopped and turned to Kunikida as a thought hit her. "You know now that we know that it's something inside her that is hitting her then why are we still upset with Kusanagi?"
"Because he kidnapped her." Kome answered.
Kusanagi was sick of hearing this, which he demonstrated by slamming a fist of the table and jerking to his feet. "I didn't take her! I was just a step in front of the police and found her first! I took her to my place because she believed that once I dropped her off at her house that I would never come back! That's all! I swear!"
Kusanagi slowly sat back down as ms. Matsu began to speak again. "I think that we need to leave Momiji and Kusanagi alone and let them decide what they want to do." Kusanagi pulled out a file containing some papers. "I have a suspicion that this monster is attacking Momiji because once it gets strong enough it can break free and attack the city."
"So it gets strong by feeding of her pain?" Ryoko reasoned.
"Well yes and no. It does get stronger from her pain, but not from a physical pain. From what I've heard of the reason she ran away the first time I believe that the monster picked her because she was upset."
"So whatever upsetted her then attacked it and now it is still feeding on that same pain?" Ryoko tried again.
"Yes. At the time she was upset with her relationship with Kusanagi. Now if you connect the dots every time she is attacked it is any time Kusanagi and her relationship is threatened. I can even bet that that's what these nightmares are of when it attacks."
"So that's more proof that we should keep me away from her." Kusanagi said softly.
"Yes! So should I tell her or you?" Kunikida said with a smile.
Matsu knew this wasn't right but before she could say anything Kunikida and Kusanagi left. She quickly caught up with Kusanagi before he went into the room. She pulled him aside and in a low voice said, " remember Kusanagi what is really important here, you. What will good be good for Momiji is what is good for you. If you go in there and realize that you love her so much that it hurts to think of never seeing her again, then I want you to care for no one else. For once do what you want for no one else. You are a free man now! Exercise you right to do what you wish!"
Kusanagi nodded and then slowly walked into the room. His heart skipped a beat as he saw Momiji lying on the cot, her body pale.
Momiji turned her head and gave him a sweet smile. "Hi!" Momiji didn't miss the look on his face though. "What's wrong?"
Kusanagi turned his head to the side, took a deep breath and then straightened up. "Momiji we need to talk." Kusanagi walked over to the cot and took her hand. "I. I think it will be better for you if I just left. We found out that the monster feeds off the turmoil that our relationship."
"So stop the turmoil by being with me! You can't do this. I need you."
As Momiji rambled on Kusanagi felt a pain inside of him. 'What have I done?' the more she spoke the more he saw how much he cared for her. He saw tears brim her eyes as she wept over Kusanagi's announcement. Ms. Matsu's words rang in his ears. "No stop." Kusanagi whispered with his hands over his ears. Never had he felt such pain. "I'm so sorry Momiji.please stop." 'Is this really what I want? No of coarse not, if it was then it wouldn't hurt this much.'
Kusanagi put his hands on Momiji's shoulders and noticed that she was out of control. "Kusanagi how could you do this to me? I love you. Didn't you even say that you loved me? Wait no you didn't! You never said I love you. I've always just come to that conclusion!"
Kusanagi tried to tell her to stop, to listen to him, but she wouldn't. He remembered when she did this before. The only way to make her stop was to embrace her in a hug. He guessed it was slapping someone that was going hysterical. "Momiji calm down, please." It was odd but for the first time in his life he let go of his restraint on him self and just allowed him self to think with his heart. Before he knew it his hands had cupped Momiji's face and his lips were now upon her own.
Momiji's eyes flew open at the shock of his lips. Slowly she relaxed into the kiss. It was intense and pleasantly rough. She draped her arms around his neck as he moved his hands to wrap around her back. She was pulled closer to him as the intensity of their kiss deepened. It was utter bliss for Momiji.
Kusanagi had never felt so free in his life. How could he feel like a monster while kissing this perfect human? This is what Kusanagi felt like it would be like to be a human. Free from the taunting and odd looks of others. Kusanagi only wanted more, more of the freedom that he had sought for so many years. It was ironic how all this time he thought that to love someone else you had to first love yourself, but in truth it was the opposite.
"You've freed me Momiji. Thank you." Kusanagi whispered across her lips as the kiss broke.
"Does this mean that you're not leaving me?" Momiji said with a smile.
"Sure does." Kusanagi said as he kissed her nose. "I would really have to be a freak to leave something so wonderful."