Alex had spent almost 15 hours in theatre as various teams worked on piecing her back together and Bernie had to admit as she leaned back into the cool plastic of the chair, she was glad the army had agreed to bring Alex to Holby, there was no way Bernie would have been able to save Alex with the limited facilities at the army hospital in Kabul. She'd never been so grateful for the NHS and her colleagues at Holby, especially Jac Naylor who'd not only stayed beyond the end of her shift so she would be the cardio surgeon that worked on Alex, but she'd stayed in the theatre with Bernie, only leaving, presumably to get a few hours sleep before her next shift, once Alex was being closed up.

Bernie sat beside Alex for a while, stroking the back of her hand with her thumb, talking softly to Alex about the future, about how she was going to leave Marcus, how she'd do anything for the other woman, she'd give up her job and care for her full time if she had to but she couldn't ignore her feelings any longer, she'd almost lost Alex, if she pulled through this Bernie wasn't going to let her go again.

It didn't take long for the adrenaline from the day to wear off and Bernie suddenly found herself exhausted, a quick glance at the clock telling her it was almost 4am. She briefly considered heading to the on call room, but quickly dismissed the idea, reluctant to leave Alex and vaguely remembering Ric mumbling something about heading there himself. She kissed Alex's knuckles a final time before making herself as comfortable as she could in the chair and closing her eyes.

She was startled awake a few hours later by the sound of someone taking Alex's notes from the holder at the bottom of the bed and it took a moment for her to wake enough to see Jac Naylor glancing over Alex's obs that had been recorded frequently through the night, "did I wake you?" Jac asked when she saw Bernie stir.

"No, you're alright" Bernie forced a smile before yawning as she stretched her limbs, her back aching from the awkward position she'd curled into in her sleep, only noticing someone had covered her with a blanket as it fell to the floor, "what time is it?"

Jac glanced at the clock on the wall, "almost 7, I thought I'd come and see how she was doing before I started my shift."

"I never got a chance to thank you" Bernie said as she sat up and ran her fingers through her hair, "for everything you did yesterday."

Jac shrugged nonchalantly, "I was just doing my…"

"No" Bernie interrupted, "you weren't, you could have left at the end of your shift and let the on call consultant take over, you could, probably should have agreed with Ric when she lost output…"

"Look" Jac put down Alex's notes and slipped off her glasses, "I don't go in for all the hospital gossip, and I don't particularly care about the ins and outs of your relationship with Alex but it's obvious that you care a lot about her, if, or when she wakes up, well, not many people would get another chance like that. Make sure you don't waste it".

"I don't intend to" Bernie said honestly, "I let her go once, if I get her back then I'm not going to do it again."

Jac nodded, quickly slipping back into 'doctor' mode, "she's doing well, her obs are improving and she hasn't lost output since she was in theatre. I'll come down and check on her again later."

Bernie nodded and smiled, "thank you." She spent almost half an hour with Alex before telling her she had to go to work, promising she'd be back later before kissing her forehead and gently squeezing her hand before leaving the ward, the staff already knowing to page her if there was any change in Alex's condition.

The next few weeks passed in much the same way for Bernie, leaving the hospital only occasionally to pick up some new clothes or to grab a shower or something to eat. More often than not she went straight from her shift on Kellar to sit by Alex's bedside. She spent a tense few days calling ITU every chance she could, when Alex got an infection that didn't seem to respond to antibiotics just a week after her arrival in Holby. She should have known though, Alex was strong, a fighter, and soon the infection was just another item on the list of things Alex had survived.

Today was the day Bernie had been dreading. The team in ITU had slowly been reducing the amount of support Alex was receiving from the ventilator, she'd responded well and today was the day the would try and extubate completely, the day they'd find out if Alex was capable of breathing for herself. Today could also be the day Alex came round, the day they found out just how damaging her head injury had been, however they all knew there was a chance Alex may remain unconscious, even once she was no longer sedated and ventilated.

Unfortunately Bernie found herself stuck in theatre at the time when she most longed to be by Alex's side. Little did she know that Jac had called down to Kellar before making her own way to ITU when she was told Bernie was in theatre.

She watched as the tube was removed from Alex's throat once the staff were certain she no longer needed the support it provided, and made a mental note of Alex's obs, knowing Bernie would ask. A small smile graced Jac's lips as she heard a quiet groan slip from Alex's lips, her eyelids fluttering for a moment before she finally found the energy to open them and Jac took this as her cue to step forwards, "Alex, can you hear me?" It took Alex a moment to focus her eyes on the woman stood by her bedside but when she did she grunted slightly, unable to form the words she needed.

"You're in Holby City hospital…" she didn't get chance to explain what had happened before Alex interrupted her.

"Bern?" Alex mumbled groggily, her voice hoarse, throat sore from being intubated for so long.

Jac smiled and nodded, pleased that Alex had made the connection between Holby and Bernie. She surprised the other medics as she delicately took hold of Alex's hand the way Bernie had at every opportunity, "I'm Jac Naylor" she introduced herself, "cardiothoracic consultant, I'm afraid Bernie's been caught up in theatre but she asked me to come and make sure you were okay and to tell you she'll be here as soon as she can be." It was a lie, Bernie hadn't asked Jac to be there but if a little white lie gave Alex the comfort she needed right now then Jac wouldn't deny her that.

Alex nodded slightly before weakly squeezing Jac's hand, "tell, tell her I, I lo...love her" the small sentence took far more effort than Alex thought it should but Jac was patient, waiting for her to finish before she spoke.

"You get some rest" she said softly, "you know you'll still be feeling the effects of the sedation for a while, you get some sleep, and the next time you wake up Bernie will be here and you'll be able to tell her for yourself.

Alex lightly squeezed Jac's hand again, not having the energy or the strength to do more than barely flutter her fingers against the other woman's palm, 'th, tha-nk you."

"It's not a problem" Jac carefully placed Alex's hand on the bed and straightened the covers around her, "you rest, I'll send Bernie down as soon as she's finished in theatre and I'll come back to check on you later.

Alex's head moved in what Jac assumed to be a nod, her eyes already closed as she drifted back off to sleep, aided by the sedation that was still working it's way out of her body.

Jac was waiting for Bernie when she came out of theatre, "Jac, I'm sorry, I can't stop, I need to…"

"Sit down" Jac said firmly, leading Bernie over to a row of seats in the corridor, "I was there when they took Alex off the ventilator."

"You were…" Bernie looked at Jac, "did she...is she okay?"

Jac smiled and nodded, "they extubated and she came round more or less straight away."

"Oh thank God" Bernie felt her eyes fill with tears of relief, "is she okay?"

"She seemed a little bit groggy but you know as well as I do that that's normal in someone who's been sedated for as long as Alex, she wasn't awake long but as soon as I told her she was at Holby she asked for you."

"She…"

"She asked me to tell you that she loved you" Jac admitted.

"She… what did you say?"

"I told her you were in theatre but you'd go down as soon as you could. I told her to get some rest so she could tell you herself when she next woke up."

"Thank you Jac" Bernie said sincerely, "for everything."

"It's fine" Jac said, standing and looking at Bernie, "what are you waiting for? Get yourself down to ITU and tell Alex that you love her too."

"Yes" Bernie nodded as she too stood up, "yes, I think I'm going to do just that."