A/N: So, I've just recently finished the Gintama manga. Wow. Things really took a twist there. Sadly, I must now wait for new chapters. So, in the meantime… Fanfiction :D

Published: 5/22/2016

Warnings: This is Gintama. Enough said.

Chapter 1

Crossover? No one told us we had to do a Crossover!

Gintoki Sakata sighed and turned over in his sleep. Eyes scrunched, he mentally cursed whoever had left the damn curtains open and attempted to pull his blanket over his head.

It was in that moment that Gintoki blearily realized his blanket was not within reach. With a growl, his hand shot about, searching for his precious anti wake-up-in-the-morning device.

Sleep! He needed to sleep! Damn sun, why was it so bright this morning anyways?

Gintoki yelped and shot up when instead of finding his blanket, his hand buried itself in burning hot sand.

Burning.

Hot.

Sand.

"Eh? What is this? Where am I? Eh?" Gintoki's eyes darted around. eyes widening slightly, Gintoki came to a terrible realization: this was not Earth. How did he know this? Well…

"Why.. Why are there two Suns? Why is my futon in the middle of a desert? Why are my clothes folded neatly next to the futon with my sword on top of them? Where the hell am I!"

Kagura's eyes snapped open. Contrary to popular belief, Kagura still had all the ingrained instinct of a species that had only known war for a majority of its evolution.

As such, it took her less than a second to realize several things; she was no longer at Yorozuya Gin-Chan, she was in a hot place that would probably kill her if she idly leave it soon the same way Hosen kicked it, and there were two unknowns making their way towards her unguarded futon.

In a flash, the young Yato sprung up from bed, spun in the air, and produced her Umbrella out of nowhere. Bullets rained down all around her.

"You won't have my Sukonbu, aru!"

"We don't want your Sukonbu! We don't even know what Sukonbu is!"

There was a snap-hiss and Kagura blinked as all her shots were deflected. As her vision came into focus, Kagura let her umbrella unfold to guard from the sun.

Ouch!

Sadly, she didn't have her special sunscreen. Gintoki and Shinpachi must never know that the reason she could run around in the sunlight unlike most Yato was because she discovered sunscreen. She wouldn't be able to troll them as often if they knew, after all.

Then, her eyes fixed on the growling beamsaber.

Beam. Saber.

Realization lit in the young girl's eyes. With a feral growl, she gripped her weapon and glared death at her opponent.

"Obi-Wan Kenofi! I won't let you hurt Shinpachi anymore, aru! Die, aru!"

"How did you know my na-" Ben Kenobi didn't have more time to reply. Instead, he was forced to draw his lightsaber up in defense as Kagura's umbrella came down. Beside him, Luke most definitely did not shriek and fall over as the force of Kagura's blow pushed a shocked Ben backwards.

Shimura Shinpachi was not having a good day.

For one, when he woke up, he couldn't find his glasses. While his vision wasn't nearly as bad as Sachan's, it was still bad to the point where they made a visible difference in his fighting style.

For another…

"I already told you, I'm not a droid!"

"I'm afraid, sir, that R2's sensors detect you are approximately one percent of a person. Therefore, in order to function, you must be a droid of some kind. I must say, you are most advanced."

Shinpachi twitched.

"Now I know how Zura feels…" Shinpachi muttered to himself.

"I'm sorry, what was that, Shintank?"

"Shintank? Shintank? My name is not Shintank! I'm not a droid! I'm a human! Human! Why is the old joke from the Tama Quest arc coming up? How did you know about it? What is this!"

R2 chose that moment to let loose a series of beeps that left Shinpachi pale. By the Gorilla creator, how utterly vulgar must that droid be for every single word he uttered to be censored?

"What was that, R2? You've detected an anomaly that resonates with Shintank?"

"Shinpachi!"

"BEEP, BEEP, BEEEEP!"

"How peculiar. Just what is this device and how does it function?"

It was then than Shinpachi realized what his two… Infuriating companions had found. Seriously. He was never complaining about Gintoki and Kagura ever again. At least they weren't censored 24/7.

"My glasses!" Shinpachi cried, snatching them out of C-3PO's hands.

"Why, I say! How utterly rude! Did the maker not program you correct-"

"BEEEEEEEEP!"

"What? What do you mean, he now registers as human? Just how messed up are those circuits of yours, R2! Poor Master Shintank, I've been mistreating him this entire time!"

"Shintank janai! Shinpachi da!"

…

Shinpachi glared up at the sky.

"Stop making me into the Zura of my generation!"

"Are the pieces all set?"

"Of course, old friend."

The first laughed.

"You know, you are perhaps the only person from my past who still calls me friend. Gintoki and Zura have sworn to kill me."

"Again? It will pass. Always does. Ahaha! Ahaha! Ahaha! Aha- ow!"

"That ridiculous laugh of yours still gets on my nerves."

"Ahaha- ow, ow, stop, ow!"

Takasugi ignored Sakamoto, however, and stomped a little harder. Then, he glanced out to the rising twin Suns of Tatooine.

"Let's see how this plays out, ne, Sakamoto?"

"There gonna be pissed."

Takasugi rolled his eye.

"Of course their going to be pissed. Incidentally, it's not my policy to involve myself in situations were I'm not at least halfway assured of my own success, so… Bye!"

…

"Eh? Takasugi? You're not going to let me take the fall for you, are you, ahaha, ahaha! Takasugi? Oiy, Talasugi!"

Takasugi, however, was already gone.

A/N: There are no Star Wars Gintama crossovers. How… How can this be? How utterly tragic! So, I've decided to combine my two favorite series :) hope you all like the start.