Chapter 5: Chemistry Class

The students had only just taken their places randomly behind the long black desks in the Chemistry classroom when the door swung open and slammed behind a very tall, thin man in a white lab coat, who strode to the front of the classroom in a highly intimidating fashion. He imagined it would have been much more impressive had the man been wearing billowing robes instead of a slim-fitting white lab coat, but he still kept a rather serious air about himself. The top of the coat was buttoned all the way up to his chin with only the slightest amount of black at the collar and sleeves, and he scowled at everyone from behind his safety goggles.

"So, this is my first year Chemistry class, is it?" he said skeptically, turning to write on the board with a piece of chalk. "My name is Professor Snopes. That's right. My father was THE Snopes, who created the website that you all know and love, so don't you dare think about trying to pass any cockamamie Buzzfeed link-bait off as a...reputable source in any of your papers, or I will know. Do I make myself clear?"

Everyone nodded intently as Professor Snopes began to take attendance and Henry winced as he felt a mild ache in his shoulder.

"Porter….hmm….oh, yes, our new celebrity," Professor Snopes said, his voice silky and dangerous, "I'll bet you will be regaling us all about how you've had Bigfoot for dinner and created matter from thin air."

"No, Professor." Henry blushed with embarrassment and shook his head as Snopes stared at him with undisguised dislike. He couldn't tell why the Chemistry teacher would hate him so much, but then again, perhaps his aura was displeasing. Henry had never been good with sensing auras like his aunt and cousin.

"Oh? So you know something about science, do you?" Snopes grinned ghoulishly. "Tell me then, what is the chemical equation for photosynthesis?"

"I...I don't know...sir…" Henry looked over at a dark skinned girl with bushy, natural hair whose hand was straining rigidly in the air, and pointed at her. "She seems to know, though."

"I was not asking Miss..." Snope checked his attendance list, "...Geiger, I am asking you."

Henry looked around helplessly and Snopes tsked loudly.

"Not so smart are we, Mr. Porter?" Snopes asked with a flourish of his hand. "No matter! Class, I shall go over some basic safety rules for the classroom. First! If your hair can be placed in a ponytail or drawn back from your face, you will do so! I will not accept 'set hair on fire' as an excuse for not participating in classwork. Second! You will always wear your lab coat, protective goggles and choose either latex or nitrile gloves when working with materials! Ear plugs will only be used in the case of loud experiments, which will all be carefully noted in your spiral bound lab books. We would not want any of you to get...injured. Third! You will show up promptly at the beginning of class with your homework completed! Any students attempting to finish papers or assignments during class will be given a zero for the day. Now! Open your textbooks to page twelve and begin reading. You will all be doing a two page paper on chemistry safety precautions and the consequences of forgoing these measures, due on Wednesday."

Everyone was so busy frantically writing notes, that only Henry noticed that Snopes was still staring at him with an oddly disgusted sneer. Henry didn't like being looked at like that. It reminded him of how his aunt and uncle always looked at him, as though he was defective and unsettling to watch. He'd thought that coming to a scientific school would relieve him from having to live in a world of superstition and unexplainable wonder that he would not have access to using, but he was finding that there was plenty difficulties that didn't come from a wand or a pesky magical creature that had taken up residence nearby.

Henry was glad when the bell finally rang for lunch, even though he wasn't looking forward to the smell of greasy slop that would likely assault his nose when he entered the cafeteria.