An Improbable and Dangerous Situation

So, I got into some speculations about tonight's episode on Tumblr several days ago. We were discussing unseen scenes from the Spring Trailer, and one of them was the one where Connie seemed somewhat alarmed by someone being wheeled in on a trolley and, naturally, I wondered if it could be Ethan after watching the clip approximately 57439 times.

Long story short, I found a request from an anon on Tumblr: Fanfiction for it being Ethan on the bed maybe? Please? and decided to answer their wishes with such little time until tonight's episode!

Although it's obviously about Cal and Ethan (you must know me well enough to guess that by now haha) it's slightly different from my usual fluffy hurt/comfort writing! I'm also fairly sure this is only going to be a one-shot, so I'm very sorry about the ending!

Hope you enjoy,

Iris x

As soon as Cal heard he felt his heart plummet to his stomach.

It was that stupid, stupid 'Be More Cal' resolution; and Cal was so, so thoughtless to not have realised how much of an act it really was. Every single cell in his body was screaming and berating him for not doing anything about it, not doing anything to help or support his little brother. Ethan, who'd always supported Cal through whatever foolish and misguided mess he'd gotten himself into. Why was Cal always too selfish to return the favour, that something like the crash, something like this, had to happen?

Ethan heard the explosion before he saw it. This by all means was a miracle, he realised, once he saw the extent of the damage. Thick, black smoke was steadily pumping its way into the air, flames engulfing the bus and spreading their way over the fuel saturated tarmac.

It looked like a movie scene.

The kind of improbable, outrageously unrealistic situation that the hero of the film would recklessly throw themselves into, saving lives left, right and centre. It would all be dramatic, but it was mostly guaranteed to be a happy ending. Only thing was, this wasn't a movie, and there wasn't a superhuman character to save the day; there was just Ethan. Just Ethan, amongst the flurry of panicked, crying, screaming people, outnumbered by the flames reaching and glowing into the night sky. He wasn't sure there was going to be any element of happiness in how this ended.

Ethan gulped. Jesus.

Connie had ordered Cal to the staff room after his behaviour had apparently become too disruptive for her to do her job properly.

Cal was tempted to repeatedly bang his head against a wall and scream at himself for being such an irresponsible mess. He wished and wished and wished that he could go back to this morning and just agree stop at the supermarket on his way home from work instead of blowing up at Ethan and add to his little brother's stress and tiredness after a 12 hour night shift. But Cal had to be such a stupid, selfish brother that he couldn't even agree to go and buy toothpaste and in turn was the reason that Ethan had even been out when the accident happened. He wanted to charge back into RESUS and demand that he stay with Ethan, that he should treat him because he'd save his life once and god forbid if he couldn't save him this time…

Unfortunately the only thing he could do was sit here and remind himself that none of those things could help his little brother right now.

It wasn't long after Ethan had entered the blazing bus that he started coughing. The smoke was hot and suffocating and he couldn't breathe but he had to go on. He couldn't just leave all these poor innocent people to their deaths.

"Hello?" he called, gasping for breath as he felt the scorching fumes burn through his wheezing lungs.

Ethan's ears perked up at the sound of movement to his left. He immediately darted towards the source, catching his wrist on the flames in the process. He winced, cradling the left arm in his right. He paused to cough for a moment, hissing in pain, before desperately searching through the pile of debris.

He blew out a breath of relief when his hands came across a body. Ethan could hear crying, but his sight was clouded with the dark clouds of smoke. The doctor hauled the body over his shoulder, eyes widening when he realised how light they were. Oh god, it's only a child, he thought, wading back through the flames, but then he heard the creaking of the bus's metal frames and the alarmed cries of people outside.

In a split second, Ethan threw the child into the awaiting arms of another passer-by, and screwed his eyes shut as he felt his body fly forwards with the force of the second explosion.

Cal had his eyes shut tightly as he imagined what Ethan would have felt in that moment. He could only wonder at his brother's bravery; he'd walked into a burning bus for god's sake.

'…dive recklessly headfirst into improbable and dangerous situations.'

It was like Ethan's voice was playing on constant loop in Cal's head. That day at the beach, the day the whole thing had begun. Cal felt the tears pooling in his eyes, and suddenly his legs were walking themselves back towards RESUS. He peered through the glass, tears snaking their way down his cheeks as he watched Connie's hands push down on Ethan's chest. Cal's eyes darted from his brother's mangled body to the monitor, but he couldn't hear anything around him. Nurses and doctors were shouting orders – but Cal couldn't hear them either. He was drifting away from the rest of the world, just wishing and praying for Ethan to be OK.

Ethan was floating.

He knew that the force of the explosion had sent his body plummeting into the icy water of the river, but he didn't know how to hold his breath or how to swim to the top or how to even move.

He felt the freezing water filling his lungs, burning even more than the blazing black smoke previously had. He didn't want to open his eyes, didn't want to look around because the thought of what he could be met with was making him tremble. Or was that the freezing temperature? Ethan couldn't be sure.

His last thought was of Cal; how he would find out, how he would react, who he would have left to turn to.

Ethan had so many things he still needed to say; that he really didn't blame him for leaving, that he really didn't think he deserved this disease that Ethan had been plagued with.

That thought did make the corner of Ethan's lips lift slightly. Cal wouldn't have to be his career, and there was no risk of anyone having to watch him suffer now that he was gone.

But most of all, Ethan had never told him, not honestly or completely, he'd never told Cal that he truly loved him. And…

And Cal's ears were ringing as the monitor flat lined.