His touch is like fire against her skin, igniting a month's worth of desire as he moves over her. She's missed this so much, missed him like this. She doesn't feel so broken and scared when he holds and touches her this way. Things feel almost normal again as she comes undone for him, cursing and mewling, his name a whisper on her lips. She's still vibrating with arousal, craving and needing more. The distraction it serves from everything else, the sensation that fills her up which leaves her feeling full and happy - she doesn't want it to stop.

Castle seems just as entranced by her, like he's trying to relearn and rememorize every inch. She's overwhelmed by it - just how much he loves her, how much she loves him in return. Of course their relationship extends so much further than the physical, but when they're together like this, their feelings feel so much more amplified.

She comes undone again, this time taking him with her. Even after their release, she refuses to leave the comfort of his arms or the pillow of his chest. He is her safe place, she decides in that moment, and she never wants to leave it. As long as she's with him, no matter where they are, she'll feel safe. He has her back and that's never going to change.

"Castle?" she asks when neither of them has spoken, suppressing a yawn as her tiredness threatens to creep in.

He hums in response, twisting her hair in between his fingers where it falls at her back.

"Is it still going to be like this back in the city, when we're forced to let the rest of the world back in?"

"I sure hope so. I'm not willing to part with this."

"Neither am I," she agrees, readjusting her position against him. "You're stuck with me now."

"Funny. All this time I've been thinking that you're the one who's stuck with me."

"Ah yes, my plucky sidekick," she says with a small laugh.

"I appreciate the promotion," Castle says, kissing the top of her head.

"Promotion huh? What's your new title?"

"Well according to Marge, it's future fiancé. But partner will do."

"Who knows, Castle. Someday I might get you proposing for real."

She's not at his side when he wakes. It catches him off guard for a moment, the way they had fallen asleep so comfortably entangled in each other, and her glaring absence radiating around the room now without her. His shirt is missing from the floor, but hers is right where he had abandoned it last night. He notices the bag he packed for them has been opened and shifted through, probably her searching for more articles of clothing that belong to her.

Castle dresses quickly, wondering if she's simply gone down to breakfast or if another one of her nightmares scared her again at an ungodly hour. He peeks out the small window in their room, his eyes scanning the terrain for her. She's not in his line of vision, but that doesn't necessarily mean she's not out there either.

When he doesn't find her in the small dining room and Marge and Tim confirm they haven't seen her either, he knows she must be outside somewhere. He starts down along the shoreline, finding her perched on a massive rock that overlooks the water. His t-shirt from yesterday fits her loosely, one black bra strap visible from where the shirt refuses to stay on her shoulder. Her knees are drawn up into her chest and her hair flutters around in the morning breeze, little fly-aways coming free from her ponytail.

She must hear him coming because she speaks before he says anything, without even turning around. "I think my body has forgotten how to sleep."

"Still? Even out here where it's extra peaceful and secluded?" he responds, closing the rest of the distance between them and standing next to her giant rock.

"New bed last night," she mutters. "The sunrise was pretty though."

"I didn't even feel you get up," Castle says, feeling almost guilty to have slept through whatever had been plaguing her head last night.

"You did," she answers softly. "I told you to go back to sleep."

"I don't remember that."

Kate looks at him for the first time that morning, smiling softly. "You were tired. My guess is you sleep better out here because this property doesn't have my family name on it. You feel safer, harder for the bad guys to locate."

"But you're more on edge out here. Why?"

"Wish I knew," she says, returning her gaze to the water.

He leans against the rock, his fingers toying with the frayed edges of her shorts. "What nightmare was it last night?"

"A new one. We make it back to the city this fall just fine. But my first day back on the job, I die in a completely unrelated shooting."

His hand stills on her thigh. "Your subconscious trying to tell you the job is dangerous no matter what?"

She shakes her head, but doesn't say more.

"Kate -"

"I don't want to die, Castle. I don't want to lose you."

"You won't," he says fiercely, his hand slipping from her thigh to find her hand. "You won't."

"But promise me you'll look after my dad if I do."

"Kate -"

"Promise me."

He sighs, giving her hand a squeeze as he does. "I promise."

She nods once, squeezing his hand back. He watches her for a moment, still trying to figure out what's going on in that head of hers. She seems less open than she has been the past couple of weeks, almost as though she's trying to avoid telling him something. Kate stretches her long, tanned legs out in front her, scrutinizing a spot on her thigh she must have missed when shaving. She gives up on it and closes her eyes, tilting her head up toward the sun.

"If you want to nap in the sun, there has to be a better place around here beside this hard rock," he tells her.

"I like my rock," she says without opening her eyes. "Thinking about carving my initials into it. Making it mine forever."

"Little bit harder to carve than the picnic table, huh?"

"That's the point."

A thought occurs to him and he nudges her arm with his elbow, causing her to open one eye and peer down at him.

"I just realized you know both of my middle names and I have no idea what yours is."

"Houghton," she sighs.

"Like Katharine Hepburn?"

She nods.

"Okay I love that," Castle says, grinning.

"You would."

He watches her for a beat again, sitting on her rock, soaking up the sun. But then she opens her eyes and slides off of it, stretching her arms over her head until her back cracks.

"Breakfast?" she asks, reaching for his hand and trying to lead him inside.

"Yeah, sure, in a minute. But first, Kate -" She turns to face him, looking at him expectantly. "Are you sure that's all that's bothering you? Just another bad dream?"

She studies him for a moment and at first he thinks she's going to keep avoiding the issue and insist on breakfast again. But instead she steps over to him, draping her arms around his torso and looking up at him. Their height difference has really become noticeable out here without her heeled boots. He smirks, thinking to himself about how much he enjoys it.

"I'm afraid to go back," she tells him, looking past his head, before refocusing on his eyes."The PTSD is something that's being worked on, but the thought of a suspect pulling their gun on me…it's something I've been struggling with for a while now, but last night's dream just made it too real. I want to go back, solve this case, catch the asshole behind it all. I want to get back to my job, to my life. But at the same time I'd rather just sit on huge rocks under the sun and watch the tide roll in. I'm torn."

"We have a couple weeks left. No one's asking you to deal with guns just yet."

"I know. But I can't seem to push them out of my head. You're rich, right? I could retire early, become your trophy wife."

Castle laughs, starting to walk her back toward the lighthouse. "I know you, Beckett. You would not be happy or satisfied doing that."

"You had me pretty satisfied last night, don't you think?"

He laughs again, glad that her light-heartedness is starting to creep back out from behind her darkness once more. "Yes, from the noises you were making I would say that you were very satisfied last night. But I also know how important your job is to you. If you're looking for a change in career -"

She shakes her head. "No, I really can't imagine myself doing anything else. I'm just really frustrated with how afraid I've become. It isn't me. I want to feel like myself again."

"You'll get there," he assures her, rubbing his hand up and down the length of her arm. "Just give it time."

They head back into the lighthouse, sitting at the table next to Marge and Tim just as the pancakes are being brought out from the kitchen.

"What if we went back early?" she asks, her hand pausing around the syrup bottle.

"All this talk about avoiding the rest of the world and now you want to rejoin it earlier than planned?"

"I know, but I've had a lot of time to think this morning and out here I'm just this on edge bundle of nerves. I hate feeling this way and I want to move past it. I get over my fears by doing not by hiding. I need to start doing something, Castle. As much as I love hiding away with you, I'm starting to think the nightmares won't stop until I prove them wrong."

"Not even ten minutes ago, you said you were afraid to go back," he says slowly, trying to understand.

"I am afraid to go back. I'm afraid to pick up my gun again and leave behind the sereneness of being up here. But I'm worried the longer I put it off, the more I won't want to. Besides, seeing Dr. Burke in person might be more helpful than our phone sessions have been."

"I do miss my kid," he says, thinking about how nice it would be to see Alexis in person instead of on Skype calls that keep cutting out due to the poor reception up here. "But are you sure it's safe for us to go back?"

"You don't feel safe out here. You said it yourself, you're worried about being my only backup."

"You kids hiding from the law or something?" Tim asks, leaning over with a teasing grin on his face.

"Now who's the one being too nosy?" Marge asks, smacking his arm.

"We're not hiding from the law, we are the law," Castle answers him. "Okay well technically only she's the law and I'm just - you know what, it's a long story."

"What brought you up here?" Tim asks. "Honestly."

"I'm a homicide detective," Kate says, exchanging a glance with Castle. "And essentially I got shot for knowing too much about a case which is very personal to me. I wanted to get away to heal, reflect, but now I think I just want closure. No matter how terrifying that is."

The older man nods. "Sometimes what you're most afraid of doing is the very thing that will set you free."

"We're cutting back on how much we order Chinese, you're starting to sound like a fortune cookie," Marge says, rolling her eyes.

Kate stifles a laugh as Tim turns back to his wife to argue with her.

"If we go home," Castle starts. "Am I sleeping in your bed or are you sleeping in mine?"

She smiles at him. "We'll switch off until we finally cave and move in together probably."

"Sounds like us," he smirks. "Do you want to finish out the week or pack up and head back today?"

"Let's finish out the week," she responds after a beat. "We can head back on Sunday."

"Good. I still have time to push you into the lake."

Kate points her fork at him. "Not if I jump first."

She's sitting on the front porch steps surveying the area, while Castle finishes packing up the car. She had offered to help but he'd been stubborn as usual, insisting he could manage by himself. The sun continues to shine brightly, but as predicted, the heat wave had dropped back down to the 80s. There's a soft summer breeze blowing through the trees and she can hear the sound of the water gently lapping at the dock. She really is going to miss this place.

"I'm going to have to start actually using my vacation days," Kate yawns stretching her arms over her head.

"For more alone time with me?" Castle asks cheekily.

"No. Well technically yes but..." she shakes her head. "I want to start coming up here more again. Plus there's your place in the Hamptons."

"The Hamptons makes an easy weekend trip. Save your vacation days for coming back here."

He manages to make room in the car for their last bit of luggage before strolling over to join her on the steps. She holds her hand out toward him expectantly.

"No, no. You're supposed to tip me. I'm the one who did all the heavy lifting."

"I'm not asking for a tip. I want the keys."

"You think you get to drive back?" he asks, mocking astonishment.

"I always drive," she replies, trying to snatch the keys out of his hands.

He moves them out of her way. "I drove us up here."

"Because I was recovering from major heart surgery. I'm better now. Let me drive."

"I don't think so. This is the final saga in your recovery journey. But I'll let you ride shotgun!"

Kate rolls her eyes. "You can't be serious."

"Oh but I am."

She glares at him. "Give me the keys."

He shakes his head, grinning.

"Give me the keys."

She reaches for them and he continues to hold them away from her, laughing. She narrows her eyes at him before standing up and twisting his arms behind his back like she would if she were cuffing a suspect. He loses his grip on the keys and they fall into her outstretched hand.

"Welcome back Detective Beckett," Castle whistles as she releases his arms. "Can I sue you for police brutality?"

"Relax, your shoulder is fine."

He watches her lock up the cabin before standing back on the porch with her hands on her hips, her gaze making one last sweep of the grounds.

"You seem better today," he tells her. "More confident."

"Well like you said, Detective Beckett is back."

"If this is what you needed, maybe we should have gone home a while ago."

She shakes her head, her fingertips skimming his shoulder as she walks down the steps. "Oh I definitely needed this, trust me. But it's served its purpose and now I need to be home."

"Where are we going to start? With the case I mean."

Kate scrubs a hand through her hair. "I'm not sure. Espo said they might have something on my shooter but it could be just another dead end."

"And you're sure you want to do this? Risk going after these guys again?"

"I'll give it some time. Settle back into everything, figure out what we all know. But I'm not doing this alone anymore. If you and the boys are willing -"

Castle stands up and laces his hands together on her lower back. "I told you, I'm in this. Can't go back now."

She drapes her arms around his neck. "I mean you could. You have -"

"I know what I have. But I also have you. My partner, my friend, my lover. Our little team, this immediate family as I believe you called us, is going to catch this guy before he catches you. Then you are finally going to be able to get some sleep, and you and I are going to come back up here and have a proper stress free vacation."

She leans forward, pressing herself against his chest. "Is that a promise?"

He kisses her forehead. "You bet it is."

AN: I know it's taken me centuries to update this and I'm truly sorry. I wanted to be able to finish this story, I owe that to all of you, my beautiful readers, but I struggled with tying it all together to end it. This didn't end quite how I had anticipated it back when I first started this for ficathon, but I don't write that often anymore and I didn't want to continue to leave you all hanging. Unfortunately, this might be the last thing I write for Castle (emphasis on might, cause you never know really). Thank you all for coming with me on this journey over the years. Your kindness has truly meant the world to me. I'll never forget what it was like to have awesome readers like you guys. Much love, Emily