Knock, knock, knock.

Katniss was in no mood for company.

She just lay there apathetically on her couch, staring into the fire that burned in her fireplace, ignoring the knocks at her door.

Knock, knock, knock.

She could faintly hear Haymitch's voice outside.

"I know you're in there Katniss. Open up."

Four more knocks and she still didn't move from the couch. She figured maybe if she ignored him long enough, he'd go away.

Knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock-

With a few choice words mumbled under her breath, she finally jumped off the couch, stormed over to her door and flung it open, growling, "What do you want, Haym-"

She nearly fainted when she saw that he wasn't alone.

"See? Told you she was home." Haymitch smirked, patting Gale on the back.

She hadn't seen Gale in what seemed like ages, since she'd told him goodbye after Prim died. She hadn't really wanted to see him. But now here he was, standing on her front step. She felt like she was looking at a ghost from her past.

Turning his attention to Katniss, Haymitch said, "Look who I found pacing a new path in the dirt in front of your house. Looked like he was a little nervous to walk up and knock. Guess he had good reason."

"What are you doing here Gale?" she asked, still recovering from the shock of seeing him.

"I'm here for a visit. I was hoping that maybe we could talk."

She just stood there, stone faced for a moment.

"Well," Haymitch said, breaking the awkward silence and clapping Gale on the shoulder, "I'm sure you two have a lot to catch up on, so I'll see you later."

He turned down her walkway and cut across his front yard to his own door, leaving Gale standing there alone on Katniss' front step.

"Soooo… may I come in?" he asked.

"Yeah," she finally relented. "Come in."

She made an effort to let her icy tone thaw a little bit, reminding herself that Gale had been her very best friend once, and he had come all this way to see her so she should probably show him at least a little bit of hospitality.

Other than Haymitch and Sae, he was the first real company she'd had.

"You… look good." she said, as he stepped through the door into her living room.

It was true, he did look good. He was wearing jeans and a button down shirt, the sleeves rolled up casually to his elbows. He had a military style knapsack slung loosely over one shoulder. He looked healthy and fit. Maybe even a little more muscular than when she'd seen him last.

"Thanks. You too."

She knew that probably wasn't true. She hadn't been taking very good care of herself since she'd been back and she knew she probably looked somewhat disheveled but she mumbled her thanks anyway.

He set down his knapsack and stood by the hearth awkwardly for a minute, warming his hands by the fire and looking at the pictures she had sitting up on the mantle. She invited him to sit down on the couch.

They made polite small talk. They talked about Haymitch and Sae, and how she'd run into Thom, and Gale's new job out in 2. The conversation was civil, but it felt forced, cold.

Something about it just felt so... wrong. Talking with Gale used to feel as natural as breathing. But so much had happened since then. Things had changed. Bridges had been burned.

Bodies had been burned.

They weren't the boy and the girl in the meadow anymore. She doubted they ever would be.

It was only a matter of time until Gale had had enough of dancing around the elephant in the room.

"We need to talk Katniss."

"We are talking."

"No, really talk. About us. About… her."

Katniss felt her back stiffen up defensively. She felt her anger towards Gale that she'd been trying to repress all this time, slowly simmering back to the surface.

"Are you going to blame me forever?" he asked.

She didn't answer.

"We used to be friends." he continued. "Best friends. Can you really say that you're okay with pretending that we never were? Because I'm not."

"I don't know Gale. Okay? I don't know."

"Well, I can't stand the distance between us-"

"You're the one that ran off to 2!"

"I'm not talking about the physical distance, Katniss! I could handle it, if that was all that stood between us. I'm talking about how you've just cut me out of your life. Like you and I never existed. Well, I'm sorry, but I can't do it anymore."

"I don't know what you want from me Gale."

"I can't go on like this." he said, standing up and slowly beginning to pace the floor, the way he always did when his thoughts were moving faster than he could put the words together. Gale was a man of action, not a man of eloquence like Peeta. He needed to be in constant motion when he had adrenaline and desperation running through his veins.

She recognized the signs immediately.

Here comes the storm.

Her eyes followed him as he moved across the floor. For a moment she was suddenly back in their woods, watching Gale as he stalked back and forth in their meadow, his emotions escalating like dark ominous thunderclouds as he'd ranted about their poverty and rebellion and burning the government to the ground. She'd seen it so many times back then.

"I just… can't… go on like this, Katniss." he repeated, startling her back into the present, where Gale was here and in her living room and everything about it felt familiar yet none of it felt right.

She already knew the answer, but she asked anyway.

"Like what?"

"Like everything we did, everything we went through meant nothing at all!" he said. "Like we're strangers now. Like I don't matter to you and you don't matter to me and we can just pretend that none of it matters, but it does, Katniss! You goddamn know it does!"

"I never said you don't matter to me."

"You didn't have to. Every day that's gone by that you don't call, that you don't write, that there's no word that you've asked anyone how I've been… well that says it for you, doesn't it?"

"I don't want to talk about this right now Gale." she snapped, getting up from the couch and striding past him into the kitchen, hoping to God that she still had a bottle of liquor that she'd taken from Haymitch, because she sure as hell needed a drink right now.

"No, of course you don't." Gale continued, following right behind her. "You never want to talk about us."

She opened one cabinet, then another, then slammed them both shut, finding no liquor. Her irritation mounting, she pulled open a third, but found no bottle there either.

"Goddamn it!" she muttered in frustration, slamming the cupboard shut.

"Katniss." he said, lowering his voice and moving closer to her.

"What do you want me to say, Gale?" she asked. "Hmm? What did you come here for?"

He looked off in the distance for a moment, running one hand through his hair and taking a deep breath, then turned back to her.

"Katniss," he said again, even softer this time. "I can't keep just pretending that I'm fine. I can't do it anymore. I'm not me without you. I need..." he paused, contemplating his next words. "I need some degree of… absolution."

"Absolution." she repeated, shaking her head in disbelief of his audacity.

"Please," he pleaded. "I can't go on another day feeling like I'm always going to be guilty in your eyes. I need to know that we can get past what happened-"

"Get past 'what happened'?" she growled at him. "What happened was that Prim died because of one of your bombs, Gale!"

"I had nothing to do with that, and you know it!"

"Do I? Because it was your design, wasn't it?" she demanded, stepping closer and poking him in the chest with her index finger.

"Katniss-"

"All you cared about was winning the war! You never gave a second thought to the collateral damage you caused- all those innocent people dying! But that was just the cost of war to you, wasn't it? And if Prim happened to be part of that collateral damage-"

"Dammit, Katniss, you have to know that I never would have wanted that to happen! Your family was my family too, remember? Or did you forget that?"

"I'm not the one who forgot anything, Gale!" she hissed, standing toe to toe with him, anger blazing in her eyes."I remember everything, and believe me, I wish I didn't."

"Well so do I, Katniss! I remember what it was like to have you fighting at my side, to know you had my back. To know that if there was one person in that rebellion who I trusted with my life, it was you. That is, until you just wrote me off and said goodbye and that was that. So I remember everything too. And you better believe that I live with regret every day of my life."

"What do you know about regret?" she spat at him, her words like venom. "You're the big war hero now. You're important, just like you always wanted to be. And what do I have?" she demanded of him, her voice breaking in a sob. "What do I have? I have nothing!"

She lunged forward towards him. She balled up both her hands into tight fists and began hitting him in the chest.

"I have nothing, Gale!" she sobbed. "Not even my sister!"

She hit him a few more times, but she might as well have been hitting a tree trunk. He didn't even flinch with the blows of her small fists.

She hadn't felt anything at all in so long and now she suddenly felt everything flooding back all at once- so much rage and pent up hurt and despair. It was overwhelming and she was suffocating in her own pain. If she was going to self combust like this, then she wanted Gale to push back, to feed her fire, to fight with her. She wanted for them both to just erupt in flames and burn into ash together, but instead of getting angry, he just wrapped his arms around her, containing her fire until it burned itself out.

"Stop, Katniss, stop… Shhh..." he quieted her, holding her tight. "I'm so, so sorry. You have to know how sorry I am."

Her hands, which a moment ago had been pounding on his chest, now tightly clutched fistfuls of his shirt instead, as her sobs ebbed to shaky breaths. He gently stroked her hair with one hand, the way she'd seen him calm frightened animals to keep them from fleeing. She stopped fighting him and began to surrender to his embrace.

Resting his face next to her ear, he softly asked, "Do you honestly think that I have anything without you, Katniss? Because I don't."

She couldn't quite look at him, not yet. But she slowly unclenched her hands, letting go of his shirt and instead just resting her palms flat against his chest. She was surprised by just how comforting it was to be close to Gale again, after she had spent so much time and energy blaming him and pushing him away.

Eventually she felt his fingers cradle her chin, tilting it upward to look at him.

"Please forgive me." he murmured softly, his grey eyes pleading. "If I could bring her back, I would. In a heartbeat. I loved her too. But I can't go back to the way we've been. Please."

She couldn't quite bring herself to say the words just yet, but instead she slowly leaned forward until her lips were about to meet his.

"Wait." he said, touching his index finger to her lips, wondering if once again, she was only kissing him because she knew he was in pain.

"I need you too, Gale." she whispered, fighting back tears again. She took hold of his hand and lightly kissed his fingertips. "I can't do this anymore either. I'm still hurt, but…I know you loved her. If you need me to hear me say it... I…" she paused, taking a breath to keep her voice from cracking, "I forgive you."

Gale exhaled a stuttered breath, as if her forgiveness had suddenly lifted the weight of the world off of his shoulders.

He allowed himself a moment to stare into her eyes, to make sure she really meant it.

When he read her truth, her sincerity there, he kissed her. Not like the soft, innocent kisses he'd given her before. This time he really kissed her- the kind of needful, hungry kisses of a man standing on the edge of desperation, and this woman's love was the only thing keeping him from falling into the abyss.

For a moment she was taken aback by his passion, the way he held onto her face with both hands, his lips firm and warm against hers, and then turning his head a little so he could kiss her even more deeply. But it felt so good, so impossibly good and right, that she let herself melt into it, wrapping her arms around him and pulling him as close as she could.

She felt his lips part against hers, and she knew that this was the tipping point. If she wanted Gale to stop, now was the moment, before she jumped with both feet into uncharted territory. But as soon as she felt his tongue brush tentatively against hers, as if asking her permission to continue, heard the soft moan that escaped his lips, she knew she didn't want him to stop.

She feared she might never want him to stop.

She hadn't realized until just now how much she'd missed Gale… how part of her heart had been missing without him. Nor had she realized how badly she needed this to happen.

She tangled her fingers up into his hair, running her nails lightly over his scalp. Even in her haze of desire, she noticed every detail about him. How his hair was just as dark and just as soft as she remembered, but he kept it a little shorter now, cut much more neatly than it had been back in their days of hunting in the woods. How he smelled the same but different; just as woodsy but with a hint of something more mature and masculine, like he'd taken to wearing just a touch of aftershave as men did in the wealthier districts.

The newness mixed with the familiar only made her more curious, only made her want him more.

She eagerly returned his kisses, tasting Gale's tongue with her own. The sweet sensation of his lips on hers, kissing her again and again made her head spin and her legs tremble. How long had they been kissing now? She lost track. She stumbled backwards a step but Gale's arms were there to catch her, just as her tailbone came in contact with the kitchen counter. Without even breaking their kiss, she felt Gale move his hands to the sides of her waist, taking a firm hold of her and lifting her up just as easily as if she weighed nothing, so that she now sat on the edge of the countertop.

With both hands still on her waist, he moved in closer again, so that his body was between her legs. In her new sitting position, it only felt natural to wrap her legs around his hips, pulling him as close as he could possibly get while still clothed.

It wasn't close enough for either of them.

He slid one hand up from her waist, up underneath her shirt until he cupped one of her breasts in his hand. Even though her bra lay between his hand and her skin, she felt her nipples tighten and harden from his touch. She let her head drop back a little as she felt his lips kissing his way down the side of her neck and across her collarbone then back up her throat to her mouth, all the while kneading her breast in one palm. Then she felt him release her breast, only long enough for his fingers to find the hem of her shirt and start pulling it up over her bra.

She gasped, then panted into his mouth, "Wait, Gale- stop!"

He pulled back, breaking the suction of their kiss with a soft pop.

"Too far?" he asked, his breath as shallow as hers.

"No… no." she shook her head. "Just- not here-" she said breathlessly, lifting her hand from his back to gesture behind him. "The windows."

He glanced over his shoulder at the expanse of windows that lined her kitchen. The windows that faced Haymitch's house.

He nodded understanding.

"Where to then?" he asked.

"Living room." she answered, wrapping her arms around his neck and tightening her legs that still encircled his hips.

Gale nodded and scooped her up from the countertop, holding her under her bottom to support her weight, and carried her in front of him into her living room. Gently, he knelt down, laying her on her back on the rug in front of her fireplace.

"This okay?" he asked.

"Perfect."

Now that the sun had mostly set, the living room was dark other than the fire that crackled in the fireplace. The only windows in this room faced the woods, so she no longer worried about anyone's eyes seeing her but Gale's. And she knew that his eyes wanted to see her. But first, she wanted to see more of him.

Gale was still kneeling between her legs, sitting back on his heels, hands resting on her bent knees. She sat herself up, reaching forward and began unbuttoning his shirt. When she reached the last one, he helped her by shrugging it down off of his shoulders and letting it slide down his arms until it fell to the floor.

She couldn't resist. She slowly slid both of her hands up the sides of his arms, her palms smoothing over the contours of his arm muscles, admiring the strength she felt there in those arms that had just carried her whole weight just as effortlessly as if she weighed no more than a bird. She moved her hands up his shoulders, then let her palms drift slowly down over his chest, feeling his breath hitch when her fingertips grazed over his nipples.

"My turn." he whispered, giving her a smirk, and the dark glint in his eyes sent a thrill of anticipation down her spine.

As he'd begun in the kitchen, he gathered up the hem of her shirt, pulled it upwards and carefully pulled it up over her head. He leaned in closer to her, wrapping one hand behind her back and pulling her to him. He lowered his mouth to the side of her neck and began sucking gently, kissing his way downward. He dipped his tongue into the hollow at the base of her throat, and then trailed hot, breathy kisses down the front of her chest. Once again his hand found her breast and began making circles over the fabric of her bra. He covered her whole breast in the palm of one hand, enveloping it in his warmth as he lightly kneaded it.

He let go only long enough so that he could have both hands free to reach around her back and unclasp her bra, then slide the straps down her arms, before tossing it aside.

"God, you're beautiful." he said, gazing at her bare breasts for the first time.

He reclined her down onto her back again and held himself up over her. He lowered his mouth to hers again and kissed her lips, softly as first, then more needfully with each kiss that followed.

Katniss felt his body gradually lowering closer to hers, easing himself down until he lay on top of her, between her spread legs. She was suddenly acutely aware of the hardness that pressed against her center and she felt a rush of nervousness flood her body. Yet she couldn't deny that the sensation that Gale was creating as he very slowly rubbed himself back and forth against her was better than anything she'd ever felt before.

Gale's hand once again found her breast, but this time he cupped it and brought his mouth down to it. He softly suckled her nipple, running his tongue over it, feeling it harden between his lips when he kissed it.

"Oh God, Gale." she sighed, wrapping her hand around the back of his head.

Hearing Katniss moaning his name in pleasure… that was a sound that Gale could get used to.

Wanting to hear it again, he moved to her other breast and did the same, kissing and sucking on her nipple and on the soft swell of her breast until she was circling her own hips against his without even realizing she was doing it, her body craving more of the frustratingly good friction between them.

Barely able to contain his own lust, Gale backed off a bit. She looked at him questioningly, until she watched his hands slide down her abdomen, found the waist of her pants and underwear, and began carefully pulling them down.

Oh... she thought, her pulse suddenly increasing tenfold as understanding washed over her.

"Okay?" he asked, pausing as his eyes flicked up to meet hers.

"Yeah." she nodded, swallowing down her nerves, "S'Okay."

He slowly removed the last of her clothing, licking his lips as his eyes scanned their way downward to the apex of her thighs.

"Sweet Jesus, Katniss," he rasped. "You have no idea what you do to me."

Gale never took his eyes off of her as he unbuckled his belt, unzipped his pants and shoved them down along with his underwear all at once, abandoning them in a heap on the floor. He laid himself down on the floor alongside her, pulling her over so they lay face to face on their sides. He let his hand drift down the curve of her waist and come to rest on her hip.

He just stayed there for a minute, studying the way the flickering firelight in the hearth behind him illuminated her face, the way it made her eyes glitter, the warm tones it brought out in the waves of her long hair that fell over her shoulder. He was certain that her naked body before him was the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen.

Just then, Katniss leaned over towards him, closed her eyes and kissed him. It was all the invitation he needed. He kissed her back, his tongue finding hers again. He kissed her deeply, kissed her for all the times he'd ever wanted to kiss her before, kissed her desperately, as if he was hoping and praying that tomorrow would never come so that this moment would never end.

When Gale kissed her like that, like she was the very air he needed to breathe, time seemed to lose all sense of meaning. All she knew was that for the first time in a very long time, she felt whole.

Her body tingled as his hands skimmed up and down her torso, tracing over her breasts, down her belly, over the soft round of her buttock. She inhaled sharply when she felt his hand part her thighs, and then find its way in between, sliding a finger between her folds. His fingertips became slicked as he moved them slowly, deliberately, gliding them over her center. She breathed out his name over and over as she writhed beneath his touch, becoming more aroused with every brush of his fingers.

It was almost more than he could take, watching her. If he got her much more excited, then he wasn't going to last himself. He pulled his hand out from between her legs, and shifted himself back so he was almost on top of her again, his erection pressing firmly against her inner thigh as he kissed her neck and then her cheek.

"Do you want this to go any further, Katniss?" he asked, his lips brushing the side of her face.

She certainly didn't want him to stop now.

She nodded yes, but then as an afterthought, blurted out, "But I don't have any… you know."

"Protection?" Gale asked, suppressing a smirk. "No worries, I do. That is, if you still want to."

She nodded at him again.

She watched as Gale reached back to the pile of his clothes on the floor, dug through his pants pockets and found the condom he was looking for, then rolled it down onto himself.

Trying to act like she wasn't nervous, when Gale lay back down between her legs, she teased him, "You came prepared? Were you planning on this happening?"

"Planning? No." he laughed lightly, then gave her a kiss. "Hoping, maybe."

When he slid himself into her, to her relief she felt only pressure and fullness, but no pain. He moved slowly at first, gauging her reaction until he found a gentle rhythm that she seemed to like.

But after several minutes, he realized that while his pleasure was escalating quickly, hers was not.

He paused, his hand touching the side of her face, and asked, "This position isn't quite doing it for you, is it?"

Sheepishly, she shook her head no. It felt pleasant, the way his body fit into hers, but it wasn't nearly as good as when his fingers had been exploring her earlier.

"Let's try something else." he suggested, letting himself slide out of her. She suddenly felt empty, and was surprised to realize that she wanted him back inside of her.

Gale got up onto her couch and sat down, playfully pulling her by her hands to join him by sitting on his lap.

"Come here," he drawled, pulling her closer until she was straddling his hips, her center pressed right up against the base of his erection.

"Do you like it better being on top?" he asked, teasing her by circling his hips against her as he sucked on her throat, as he kissed her collarbone.

"MmmHmm." she hummed, already feeling herself growing wetter as she shamelessly rubbed herself up and down against his length.

"I should've known that you'd want to be in control." Gale said, his lips curling up into a smile as he nuzzled his face between her breasts, raining kisses there.

Then he looked up at her, his eyes darkening with lust.

"Ride me, Katniss." he urged her. "Show me what you like. I want to watch you come."

She stopped grinding herself against him and lifted herself up a little. Gale used one hand to guide himself up into her, and the other to gently hold her hip and lower her down until his full length was buried inside of her once again.

"God, that feels so good." he groaned, as he cupped the rounded cheeks of her bottom with both hands, helping her to find a slow rocking motion that allowed him to slide in and out of her easily. He looked down at where they were joined, his mouth dropped open in enjoyment as he watched her lift herself up carefully and then sink back down onto him.

Katniss held onto both of his shoulders, her hands occasionally squeezing and releasing, even digging her fingernails into the muscle there every now and again when he shifted up just a little deeper inside of her.

Sensing that she needed more attention, he slid his hands up from her backside to cup her breasts instead. They bobbed there tantalizingly in front of his face, so he held them in his hands, massaging them and taking turns teasing and kissing one nipple with his tongue, and then the other.

He dropped one hand down between her thighs, just above where his own body entered hers. His thumb found her center, and he began making lazy circles there.

She suddenly whimpered, squeezing his shoulder tight with one hand, but the look on her face read as pleasure, not pain.

"Good?" he whispered.

'Uh huh… good." she sighed, rotating her hips against his thumb movements.

Realizing that he'd found what she liked, Gale continued doing it, feeling the pad of his thumb grow slicker and wetter with her arousal as he maintained the circular motion.

Katniss let her body lean forward towards Gale's, needing to feel as close as she possibly could to him. She rode him just a little faster now, grinding her center down against his pubic bone each time he rocked his pelvis upward.

Her breasts pressed against Gale's chest, their skin starting to stick together from the sweat of their combined exertion.

As she rested her head on his shoulder for a second, she stole a glance at their silhouette on the wall. Their shadows danced in the fire light emanating from the hearth, a picture of two lovers in the most intimate of poses, projected on the white wall behind them.

A log in the fire place made a soft cracking noise, sending a shower of hot orange embers floating up the chimney at the back of the hearth, and Katniss suddenly felt like she was giving off sparks herself.

She whimpered again, this time with more urgency as she rocked herself harder, Gale's free hand tightly gripping her hip.

She felt the heat rise up in her body, from her stomach up through her arms and legs until she felt like the phoenix herself, rising out of the fire, burning brightly as the noon day sun.

Katniss suddenly lifted her head back up from his shoulder, now staring directly into his eyes. She wanted him to see it, to watch her shatter from his touch.

And at that moment, she cried out Gale's name as the tremors of her orgasm shook her to her core.

She let herself collapse against him, her own moans of pleasure mixing with his as he let himself go, surrendering to his own climax just as she began coming down from hers.

She didn't want to move for the longest time. She just stayed wrapped around him, wanting to enjoy the feeling of having Gale inside of her for as long as possible.

Even after, when they had parted from each other and moved from the couch to the floor, she wanted to sleep right there with his body spooned tightly around hers, no clothing, just the throw blanket from the couch draped over them.

Just before she drifted off, she was comforted by the realization that for the first time since the war ended, she had her best friend back. Though she still had many broken pieces that needed to be put back together, having Gale here with her put at least one piece of her life back in place, back where it belonged.

The next morning when she woke with Gale still by her side, instead of feeling like the soaring phoenix she'd felt like last night, she felt more like the embers in her fireplace. Still glowing with the heat from last night, but cooling, fading.

She wasn't sure how to act with Gale today. She'd never been in this type of situation before. Would it be weird between them now? Would Gale regret that they'd done this?

But just as quickly as the anxiety started to swirl in her head, Gale put her fears to rest.

"Morning," he said, curling against her warmth and smiling, his eyes still heavy lidded and sleepy. "Am I still dreaming? Because if I am, please don't wake me up."

She couldn't help but smile back at him, her anxiety melting away.

"I'm pretty sure we're both awake." she answered with a yawn. "Barely."

She stretched and suddenly noticed how stiff she was from sleeping on the floor. If Gale decided to stay over again tonight, she thought to herself, they would definitely be sleeping in the bed and not on the floor.

"How long are you here in 12 for?" she asked him.

"Only till tonight. I could only get two days off of work." he replied.

"Just till tonight?" Katniss repeated, sitting up quickly in surprise and disappointment.

"Yeah, sorry. I wish I could stay longer, believe me." he said, giving her hand a squeeze.

She wished he could too.

"Well, we better not waste the day then." she said.

They got up and each took showers and got dressed. They took a walk into town for a while, so Katniss could show him the progress that had been made since he'd been here last.

She asked if he could ever see himself coming back here for good.

He sighed, then said, "No, I don't think so. Not much for me to do here."

She didn't blame him. She understood that for as long as she'd known Gale, he'd always wanted more than 12 had to offer. He needed challenge, he needed opportunity.

He certainly wasn't going to find that here.

After what the war had done, 12 was practically a ghost town. Far too quiet for Gale's liking.

But she liked it.

After all the noise of the war- the air raid sirens, the gunfire, the shelling, feeling the ground above 13 shake violently with the dropping of bombs- the quiet and solitude of 12 suited her just fine.

Later, when they'd returned to her house, Katniss asked Gale if he thought they should invite Haymitch over for a visit, maybe even for an early dinner.

"Nah." he said, shaking his head, giving a mischievous little laugh. He grabbed her by the hand and pulled her into a hug, playfully swaying back and forth with her in his arms. "I was hoping to have you all to myself for the rest of the day. Besides, you really want to get the third degree from Haymitch, asking what we've been up to?"

"God, no." she laughed, swaying her weight from foot to foot along with him.

"You know his mind would go straight to the gutter." Gale said, his eyes crinkling with amusement.

"Oh, no question."

"Of course, he'd be correct..." he continued, still holding her in a slow dance without music.

"But he doesn't need to know that." she grinned.

"Aww, come on," Gale teased her.

"Haymitch would be so proud." he joked sarcastically. "You could tell him you had the best sex of your life last night. Maybe I could get a high five out of him." he added, nearly snorting out a laugh when he said it.

Katniss rolled her eyes.

"Sure Gale." she giggled as he gave her a little spin during their dance and then pulled her back into his arms. "Not that you have much competition, since it was the only sex of my life."

Suddenly Gale stopped dancing and stood still.

"What did you say?" he asked.

"What… that it was the only sex of my life?" she repeated questioningly.

"You-" he stammered- "you were a virgin?"

Gale's mind raced, mentally scanning through all the memories he had of seeing Katniss and Peeta together, all their kisses in the arena, Peeta's insinuation during the Quell that she'd been carrying his baby…

All the envy he had felt towards Peeta, and they hadn't actually been having sex after all?

"Wait-" he said, still trying to clarify the facts, "You mean you… and him… before... you never..."

"No, never."

"Shit, Katniss, why didn't you tell me?"

"What difference does it make?" she asked.

"Because… I would have been gentler with you, more careful."

"You were gentle with me Gale. And I wouldn't have wanted you to treat me like I was some fragile thing that you were going to break. Everyone treats me like that now. I didn't want that from you too."

"Goddamit." Gale muttered, his face looking pained. "I should've asked you-"

"How many times have you done this Gale?" she suddenly questioned. Her heart thudded a rapid staccato rhythm in her chest. She wondered if she really wanted to know the answer… if she really wanted to know why he'd been so at ease with her last night… So confident in the way he moved, so sure of how to touch her body, when she knew nothing of how to touch his.

"I'm not proud of some of the things I've done, Katniss."

Don't ask, she thought to herself. You probably don't want to know. But part of her did need to know. Because Gale was hers and she was his, and the younger versions of themselves kept no secrets, right?

"Like what?" she prodded, cursing herself for how weak and pathetic her voice sounded when it came out.

"I've slept with a few girls." he confessed. "One night stands, mostly...You have to understand, out there in those other districts, there are girls who just throw themselves at me-"

Katniss turned away to look out the window. "Oh God, Gale," she whispered, covering her mouth with her hand.

He tugged her lightly by the arm and turned her back to face him.

"But they weren't you, Katniss." he rasped, looking on the verge of tears. "They didn't know me, not like you do. To them I'm just Soldier Hawthorne from the propos and the stupid interviews I'm constantly having to do. I thought that maybe if I went out with other girls, it would help me, that it would get my mind off of you, that maybe I could forget that you and I weren't speaking...but they only wanted to know me for one night, you know? Their attention, their company… it didn't make me feel better… it made me feel worse… empty… it's different when I'm with you. I like who I am with you."

She just stood there, mute. She didn't know how to respond.

"Say something." he pleaded.

"What do you want me to say, Gale?"

"Say you'll come back with me. We can start over. I have a house, a great job-"

"Guess you have everything."

"Everything but the girl."

"Sounds like you have plenty of girls."

"I don't want just any girl. I want THE girl. Just you. It's only ever been you. Please. You said yourself yesterday, you have nothing here. Come with me and I'll give you everything. Anything. Just come back with me." he pleaded.

Just then the phone on her wall began to ring. It rang once, twice…"

"Don't get it." he whispered, still holding onto her arm, knowing full well that if they ended this conversation now, she would never open it back up again.

"I have to get it." she said, pulling away from him.

She strode into the kitchen and after the third ring, picked up the phone. Gale stayed in the living room and sank down into the couch. He sat back and closed his eyes, conjuring up the memory of last night, how he had been in this very same place, but with Katniss naked in his lap, riding him slowly. He rested his hands on his thighs… the same place where he had kneaded her buttocks last night, where her legs had been spread around him, where he had looked down and watched as she accepted him inside of her, over and over. He remembered her face, how beautiful she looked, how exquisite it had been to gaze into the grey eyes that mirrored his own, and watch the rapture on her face as she rode him to her climax.

He overheard bits and pieces of the conversation, an occasional "yes I'm doing well," then "Oh really? No I hadn't." A few moments later, "That's wonderful, thank you for calling." A few more pleasantries, the he heard the phone click back into its cradle on the wall.

Gale waited for her to return to the living room. An excruciatingly long minute ticked by, then another. Finally she appeared in the doorway.

"You already knew who was going to be calling." she said quietly. "Didn't you, Gale?"

"I had a pretty good idea." he admitted. "Dr. Aurelius talks to me too, remember?"

"So you already knew what he was calling to tell me?"

"That Peeta is doing better?" he guessed.

"Yes. That Peeta is doing better. You knew that yesterday, didn't you?"

Gale stood up, moving closer to her.

"Yeah," he said slowly, "I knew. Dr. Aurelius told me."

"Is that why you came here now?" she interrupted him, "to try and get me back before I found out about Peeta?"

"No!" he argued, then reconsidered. "Well, yes, maybe it helped me make up my mind to come here sooner rather than later, but what difference does it make anyway? At this point we still don't know if he's going to get any better than he is now, and it doesn't change how I feel about you. I still want you to come back with me- please-"

"I can't."

"Why not?"

"Just because. I don't know."

"Because you're waiting for him? Waiting here where he'll know where to find you if he ever returns?"

Katniss just stood there silently. Was that why she couldn't leave? Maybe. Maybe not. She wasn't really sure herself. She just knew she couldn't.

"Gale, this is home. And home is all I have left."

"No it isn't!" he argued, stepping forward until he was chest to chest with Katniss, her back against the wall. "You still have me." he murmured, cupping her face in one hand. "I'm still here, waiting for you, like I always have been."

He paused, then asked, "What about last night? Didn't last night mean anything to you?"

She felt her cheeks flush, offended that he would even ask her that.

"Last night meant everything to me Gale. Everything."

"Then why-"

"Last night was the first time I've felt alive in I don't know how long." she said urgently, the words just tumbling rapidly out of her mouth.

"Me too," he said, his voice breathy and needful, not at all like the sure and steady voice she was used to hearing from him. "So please, Katniss, just come back with me. It could be like that for us all the time-"

"Shut up Gale." she begged, curling her hand behind his neck and pulling his face down to hers. "Just shut up, okay?"

She tilted her chin up and kissed him.

"Katniss-" he whispered against her lips.

"Shhh." she shushed him between kisses. "I don't want to talk anymore."

He kissed her back, a little tentatively at first, as he tried to read her motives. He wondered, was she was pulling him back in because she really, truly wanted him, or was she just using it as a distraction, an evasive maneuver to end their conversation?

But when he felt her hands snake up inside of his shirt and slowly move up his abdomen and over his chest, her touch gave him the answer he was looking for. It wasn't the kind of touch that he'd felt from the other girls, the sort that was teasing and superficial and made him feel like their plaything. When Katniss' hands caressed across the broad expanse of his chest muscles, her touch tender yet insistent, it spoke of something much more primal. It spoke of hunger and need that was real and ran deep.

A low moan rumbled in his chest beneath her hands as he kissed her deeper, as her lips parted in a sigh and his tongue found hers. Katniss slid her hands down his torso, then around his ribs until they rested on his lower back, inviting him closer. He leaned his body into hers, pressing her against the wall. He slid one hand down her hip, down the back of her thigh and then grabbed onto it, wrapping his hand behind it and pulling her leg up until it was wrapped around his upper thigh. Now when he leaned into her again with the next kiss, she could feel his growing hardness being pressed against her, intensifying the heat that was rising inside of her. The heat swirled in her blood, from her heart pounding hard against Gale's chest, down to her center where the heat pooled, her flesh there growing hot and damp from the delicious friction of each rocking movement of his hips between her legs.

He kissed her until she felt she couldn't breathe. She hadn't even realized how many kisses she'd demanded of him until he released her bottom lip from between both of his, and she found herself panting against his cheek. Without even giving her a moment's reprieve, his mouth now found other places to kiss as he touched his lips to her chin, her jawline, her earlobe. He sucked on the side of her neck, hard. It would probably leave a mark, she realized.

How like Gale to mark his territory.

It strangely turned her on.

"God, I want you, Gale." she panted.

He couldn't help but let out a moan against her neck when she said it.

"Wanna go to your bedroom?" he asked.

"Yeah."

He released her leg that he'd been holding up alongside his hip, and she was so lightheaded with desire that it took her a second to steady herself on her own two feet.

She took his hand, leading him up the stairs and into her room. She'd no sooner turned around to face him at the foot of her bed when Gale pulled her to him and began kissing her again.

In his heart of hearts, he already knew that Katniss was not going to change her mind about leaving district 12 with him, and if this was going to be the last time- whether for a while or whether forever- that he was going to get to have sex with Katniss Everdeen, then he was damn sure going to make it count.

Gale's hands were tangled in her hair, his lips kissing her face, his chest rising and falling rapidly against hers as his breathing grew faster.

She wrapped her arms around him. Her hands scrambled up his back under his shirt, her fingers spread apart as they raked up and down over his skin, feeling the bumps and ridges of the scars that remained there from his whipping. Even in the midst of her lust, the feel of his scars gave her a sudden unexpected twinge in her chest, as she wondered what the other girls he'd been with had thought of them when they saw them, when it had been their hands on his back like this. It made her angry, maybe even jealous, because those scars belonged to her as much as they belonged to Gale, but they certainly didn't belong to those girls who had only fucked him for his fame and his pretty face. None of them would ever come close to knowing the pain she had felt at his suffering, the way her heart had bled for him, just as his skin had bled onto her hands at her own kitchen table. No, these scars belonged to them, and them alone.

But deep down she knew, they wouldn't belong to her forever.

She knew he'd be leaving soon and she knew that for reasons she couldn't even explain to herself, much less explain to him, she couldn't go with him. But in this moment, she desperately needed to feel this one last time, to feel Gale inside of her, for him to make her see stars…

"Wait!" she cried out, in a sudden moment of clarity amidst their passion.

Gale pulled away from their kiss and searched her face.

"We can't-" she stumbled breathlessly over her words, her mind still not quite focused, "I want to," she stuttered, "But we can't… not without..."

He understood her meaning.

"Don't worry." he reassured her. "What I have in mind, we don't need that for."

He gave her a devilish smirk, his eyes dark and dilated with his hunger for her, then added, "But I do have one more condom left if you still want to do that after."

She exhaled sharply, partly in relief, partly in excited anticipation of what else he had planned for her.

"Yes." she answered enthusiastically. "Yes, yes yes.."

Before she knew what hit her, Gale was pulling her down onto her bed, his lips crashing into hers in a heated kiss, while their hands fumbled for buttons and zippers in hurried yearning for the sight and smell and feel of each others bare skin against their own.

Once they were both naked, their bodies intertwined together in her bed, everything slowed down again. Gale wanted to spend as long as possible tracing the lines of her body with his fingers, memorizing every curve, every angle, so that whenever he was alone and lonely in his bed, hundreds of miles from her, he'd still be able to remember every detail. He kissed every freckle, every faint pink burn scar that still marred her otherwise smooth skin. He kissed his way down her stomach, feeling her breath catch at the tickle of his lips on her waist, and the way her abdominal muscles tightened when he ran his tongue down to her navel.

Gale watched, keeping his eyes trained upwards on her face, when he parted her legs, lowering himself down and kissed her there in between. He watched her tense up and then relax as he slid his tongue up along her for the first time, then dipped his tongue a little deeper between her folds the next time. He watched as she let her legs fall open a little wider, inviting more of his mouth against her, kissing her there with his tongue, as passionately as a French kiss.

He didn't dare close his eyes because he wanted to remember every second of her ecstasy. He wanted to remember the long strings of moans and unintelligible words of pleasure that fell from her lips as he licked her, the way she bucked her hips against the fluttering of his tongue. He wanted to remember the way she tasted, as sweet as honey and as wet on his lips as the first juicy bite of a ripe summer peach. Most of all, he wanted to commit to his memory forever, the way it felt when her fingers tangled their way into his hair as she begged him not to stop, and the pleasurable pain it brought him when she closed those fingers tightly, tugging hard on the lock of his hair in her grasp when she finally came against his mouth.

There was nothing better, and he wanted to remember all of it.

Katniss sank back down into the bed, catching her breath.

She slowly unfurled her hand that was wrapped in Gale's hair, holding his face between her quivering thighs.

Jesus Christ, the things Gale could do to her.

She didn't want to need him this much, to want him this much, but damn, when he touched her like that, when he worshipped her body and made her hips lift off of the bed in spellbound delight, he fucking owned her.

She loved it and she hated it at the same time. She knew it wasn't fair to him. She knew he had to leave and that she wouldn't go and she couldn't afford to be owned by him like this, but God, it felt so good.

Truth be told, she never wanted it to end, but she knew it had to. Gale's fire plus her fire was too much fire, and eventually it would burn them both.

But for today, just for now, she would allow herself to touch the flames, daring them to do their worst.

She'd already been baptized in fire during the war. It couldn't possibly be any more painful than that, to allow herself to love Gale, and then to let him go.

Could it?

"Where are you?" Gale asked, a tender smile on his face as he crawled back up her body, wiping her wetness from his chin with the back of his hand. "You just looked like you were a million miles away."

"It's your fault." she laughed quietly, pulling him into her arms. "I'm pretty sure I was in heaven just then."

"Good." he said, grinning. "But, I'm not done with you yet."

He left her side only long enough to retrieve the condom from his pants, then lay back down next to her. He started to tear open the little foil packet, but then thought better of it, instead turning his wrist towards Katniss and offering it to her, quirking one eyebrow up at her, as if asking her if she'd like to do the honors.

"Show me how?" she asked.

Gale took her hand and showed her how to position it and then guided her fingers downward, smoothing it down until it sheathed his entire length.

She let her fingers linger there for a minute or two, stroking him gently from base to tip, fascinated by how hard and hot he felt against her hand.

"How do you want to do this?" he asked.

"Like yesterday." she replied.

She swung one leg over his hips, sitting on top of him. She was already plenty wet from what Gale had just done to her. She felt Gale rub the tip of himself back and forth against her two, three times just to spread the lubrication there, then he found her entrance and easily slid right in.

"Mmmmm," she whimpered, enjoying the sensation of fullness again, as her body remembered and accommodated his length and thickness as if he was always meant to be there.

The position was slightly different, since this time Gale was lying down instead of sitting up, but it felt just as good as she began rocking herself against him.

She pressed the palms of her hands against his abdomen, feeling the muscles there that tensed up just beneath his skin each time he gently thrusted his pelvis upward to meet her movements. As she studied his body, she tried to reconcile that this Gale beneath her and inside of her was the same Gale that had been the tall, almost lanky fourteen year old she'd known in what seemed like a previous lifetime. Now he was even taller, more filled out, the muscles of his abdomen more defined than she ever remembered seeing them before, with a trail of soft, dark hairs that led from his navel downward to where her thighs wrapped around him.

And grown-up Gale was hot, she realized. So very attractive. She just hadn't noticed it before.

Obviously other women had.

How had they come to this?

From best friends to partners on the battlefield, to practically strangers and now to lovers. Then, she knew, the next step would be back to being just friends again. Full circle. It was just the way it had to be.

Suddenly everything she'd been thinking about disappeared when she felt Gale's hand slide up the inside of her thigh, his fingers finding her center again as he had last night. She rocked her hips faster. It all felt so good... his thumb circling her clitoris, the smooth friction of his length sliding almost all the way out of her and then sinking back in again.

She wanted this, wanted him so badly. She wanted to drown in the flood of lust that coursed through her veins when Gale loved her like this. Wanted his hands to keep touching her, wanted his hardness to keep pushing inside of her. She craved it, needed it, begged for it even, moaning his name again and again without even realizing it.

If this was sin, then she would gladly burn in hell if that was the price to pay for this, right now, the way Gale made her gasp for breath, coaxing noises of pleasure from her that she'd never made before.

She felt selfish, riding him at the pace and angle that was good for her. But when she looked down at her lover with his head flung backwards into the pillow, chest heaving with heavy uneven breaths, his lips uttering lustful profanities as she bucked her hips against his, she didn't feel quite so selfish anymore.

Gale wanted this as much as she did.

She felt that heat building deep inside of her once again. Suddenly it wasn't enough to just feel him between her legs. She leaned her body down, laying herself on top of him so that her breasts were pressed tightly against his pectoral muscles, her face buried in the side of his neck.

Gale growled her name, then grabbed onto her bottom with both hands. He gripped the soft rounded curves of her cheeks tightly, holding her in place where she couldn't escape the friction of his body pressed up against her center each time he thrusted himself into her.

Katniss was barely holding on. Her breath was hot on Gale's neck as she kissed him there, her teeth and her tongue grazing his skin, feeling the heat and the pounding of his pulse against her lips. Her fingers raked through his hair, one hand coming to rest at the nape of his neck, the other clenching a fistful of the pillow beneath him. She was so close and she wanted to come, chasing her climax as she circled her hips faster. But on the other hand she didn't want this to end. She wanted to stay here on the precipice, teetering on the edge of her orgasm for as long as she could hold on.

She wanted to hold onto this forever, the way Gale made her feel like a woman, and never let it go.

How long would it be, she wondered, until she might feel this again… until she might find Gale once again at her door and in her arms and in her bed and inside of her body and his mouth between her thighs…

Maybe a long time.

Maybe never.

The next thing she knew, she was falling to pieces. The orgasm came suddenly, rising up from her center and rushing through her body like waves of heat, making her pant shaky breaths against his shoulder. Though her legs trembled, she kept rocking her hips, desperate to now feel the twitching, spasmic movements of Gale's orgasm inside of her… to hear Gale's rough, raspy mid-orgasm voice chanting her name like it was a prayer.

He didn't disappoint her.

It was only moments later, and she lifted herself up just enough to watch his face.

Gale wasn't a man that relinquished control very often. But in that moment, Katniss knew that she owned him, just as much as he owned her. She'd never known that her body was capable of giving a man such pleasure… that her touch could make a man thirst for her like this. But here Gale was, surrendering completely to her, and she wanted to watch.

Watching Gale come for her was the sexiest, most erotic thing she'd ever seen.

It was a long time before they moved from her bed.

Katniss laid in Gale's arms, the sense of foreboding in the pit of her stomach growing as she watched the sunlight in her room growing more orange than yellow, the shadows growing longer as the sun crept closer to the treeline.

Though they were both awake and Gale's fingers were tracing lightly over her shoulder, she didn't dare move. She knew that if she moved then the spell would be broken and Gale would stir and she didn't want him to leave-

She didn't want him to leave.

But it wasn't really about what she wanted, was it? It was more about what they both needed.

What they needed to survive... what they needed to be normal, healthy, decent human beings again, that would one day be healed of their scars of the war.

Katniss knew that if she went with Gale, neither one of them would ever truly heal. For as much as they loved each other, there was just too much fire between them and they would just keep tearing open the wounds that remained on their souls and in their hearts, never allowing them to move past their shared trauma.

She needed more softness and patience than Gale could give her, and Gale needed more purpose in life than she could give him. If he stayed in 12 with her, he would suffocate, and he'd resent her. If she went with him, she would eventually wilt, never having the chance to set the roots of stability that she needed to grow and thrive.

Finally it was Gale that broke the silence, his voice still raspy. But Katniss couldn't be sure if the rasp she heard was still from their sex, or whether it was emotion.

"You know I need to leave soon." he said softly, smoothing a lock of her hair between his fingers. "The last train leaves in two hours."

"I know." she said, steeling herself for what she knew was coming next.

"Are you sure you won't come with me?" he asked.

But he already knew the answer.

"I can't Gale."

"Okay." he sighed in resignation, kissing her forehead. "Okay."

They finally got up, took quick showers, separately in order to avoid temptation. Katniss sat on the side of her bed, towel drying her hair as she watched Gale pack up the knapsack that he'd come here with.

She wished that she had the right words, that she could write all of her feelings down in a note and tuck it inside of his bag to read later. But she was at a loss right now. There wasn't enough time, and her thoughts were too clouded. She hoped that maybe one day she'd write it to him in a letter. That one day, maybe in a month, maybe two, he'd open his mailbox and find her heart there, in the form of a card tucked inside of a cream colored envelope. That she'd be able to say all the things that she wanted to say right now but didn't know how.

But if she was still anything like the Katniss that had shut Gale out of her life before, she knew that she would probably never write that letter.

The road to hell was paved with good intentions.

When Gale stood in her doorway, knapsack slung over his shoulder, just as it had been when he'd shown up yesterday, she wasn't sure if she could go through with it. She wasn't sure if she could really let him walk away again.

From the look she saw reflected in Gale's eyes, he didn't look too sure that he could do it either.

She didn't dare kiss his lips goodbye, because if she felt his lips on hers again, she knew what would happen. One kiss would lead to another, and she'd throw herself into his arms and wrap her legs around his waist and beg him not to go…. To please, please stay, and they could go back to the way they were before, when Gale was hers and she was his and the meadow was theirs-

But now their meadow was a graveyard.

They couldn't go back again, not ever.

She had to let him go. She had to.

She hugged him, standing up on her tiptoes to kiss him on his cheek, and she felt his lips leave a soft kiss on hers.

"Don't be a stranger, huh?" he joked, then sniffed hard, the way one does when fighting back tears.

"Goodbye Gale." Katniss said softly, then watched him turn and walk down her front steps.

She stood there in the open doorway and watched him walk away until he was past her house and in front of Haymitch's house now.

He turned back for a second, and when he saw that she was still there, he paused, smiled, kissed his fingertips and then held them up, giving her the Mockingjay salute.

One final goodbye to the Mockingjay.

She returned the salute, then closed the door.

Not knowing what else to do with herself now that Gale was gone, Katniss laid herself down on the couch. She didn't remember it being so quiet in her house before he'd shown up. All she could hear was the ticking of the big clock on the wall above the mantle.

Tick, tick, tick.

An hour ticked by and she still lay there on the couch, absentmindedly tracing her fingers back and forth across the couch cushion, until she was startled by a knock on her door.

Her heart lurched in her chest.

Could it be Gale? Had he gotten to the train station and then changed his mind about leaving?

Katniss leapt off the couch, stumbling her way to the door and pulled it open.

Before she could stop it, she felt her facial expression fall.

"Not who you were hoping for?" Haymitch asked with a smartass smirk on his face, leaning against her doorframe with one hand. "Sorry to disappoint you."

Katniss groaned, but opened the door wider, wordlessly inviting him in.

"You want to sit down?" she asked, once she'd snicked the door shut behind him.

"No, no. Just came to check in on you for a minute." he said, shifting his weight on his feet, pausing before continuing his thought.

"Saw Gale leave a little while ago." he finally said. "You okay, sweetheart?"

Katniss nodded yes, but her face said otherwise.

"Did you two… get things straightened out?" he asked.

"Yeah." she sighed. "He asked for my forgiveness… for everything that happened between us."

"Did you give it to him?"

She nodded her head again. "Yeah."

"And did you ask him?"

She looked up at him blankly, like she had no idea what question she was supposed to have asked.

"Did you ask Gale to forgive you?" Haymitch pressed her. "I'm no expert in affairs of the heart, but anyone with eyes could see that you had hurt him too, Katniss."

She just stood there for a few seconds, then slowly shook her head no. She suddenly felt like she wanted to cry, but she was damned if she was going to break down right now in front of Haymitch.

He nodded his head in understanding.

"Well, maybe you will next time, hmm?" he suggested, giving her an affectionate squeeze on her shoulder before turning to leave.

Just like he so often did, Haymitch walked out her door and tromped down her front steps without saying goodbye.

Would there be a next time? Katniss wondered.

Somewhere deep in her heart, she suspected there wouldn't be. And she suspected that Haymitch knew that too.

A man like Gale had places to go, things to do. Ambition. Drive.

He'd outgrown this district, wanting more from life. It was more than what she wanted, and more than she could give him.

Maybe this was her penance, to live out the rest of her days never really feeling that she'd been absolved of her own sins.

That night, in her fitful sleep, she dreamed of Gale. And when she woke, there were tears on her pillow.

She hoped and prayed that wherever Gale was tonight, that he'd somehow know that she was thinking about him.

And that maybe, just maybe, he'd forgiven her too.