A/N: So like, this is shitty, but I gave it a shot anyway lol. My take on if in the first episode of BTR when James auditions. Instead of Kendall coming to the rescue, James actually passes and goes to LA by himself. They're in their senior year but I made them freshmen when James leaves and auditioned. dedicated to none other than winterschild11 my goddess and XxxAnimaniacxxX who will always be my Kames buddy even if we hardly talk nowadays. Girl, I will never forget yooouuu you will always be by my side~ in the Kames fam pow pow lol. Ok enjoy I'm going to bed~

and I know it's choppy. My transitioning skills aren't on point yet but I'll get there

ALSO. The songs used in this are Angel with a shotgun and Better than I know myself by Cab and Adam Lambert. I purposely twisted Adam's lyrics around too. The lyrics aren't 'you were gone and everyday I didn't know which way to turn' they're 'If you were gone, for even a day I wouldn't know which way to turn'.

Earthy emerald shaded eyes glared at the movie theater size poster gracing the school's hall. Even from the far distance where Kendall Knight stood at, even with all those damn squealing girls crowded around the poster as if it were some deity of theirs, he could still see clear details that of his ex-best friend James Diamond. In the picture, James was striking a seductive pose for the camera, his liquid gel hazel eyes giving the lenses of said camera a creamy gaze. With his black leather jacket over his crisp white fitted shirt and his long legs crossed, ankles linked over each other lazily while they were clad in black skinny jeans, and the way he leaned against the brick wall without a tense bone in his body, the whole shot was killer, and Kendall really wanted to sharpie the damn thing.

The only thing that made it apparent James had changed was his body and his hair. The once scrawny pretty boy was now equipped with rippled muscles, the broad expansion of his back and the thick width of his chest. In the poster, James had one of his elbows bent back against the wall and the leather jacket's arm bunched up around his biceps, exposing the sharp crease of his arm. And then his hair. Kendall has known James since preschool and up until that music producer Gustavo Rocque landed in their small town in Minnesota and swooped James away into the Hollywood fame/industry world, James had always, always obsessed over his luscious hair. The pretty boy even carried a 'Lucky Comb' which was basically another bone in James' body since he had it with him everywhere he went. But in the picture, James was styled in a new do. Kendall's sure the last time he saw James, it was James' music video Show Me and the boy's traditional brunette styled hair was in its natural wavy length. But now James sported a classy mohwak. And looked kind of good with it. Kendall grumbled at himself for his thought and wondered if Ms. Collins would be terribly upset if all of her sharpies disappeared.

"I can't believe he's coming back!" a loud, girlish squeal bombarded into Kendall's ears. Immediate other squeals followed suit making the blond male glare. Not only did he hate the person who he considered to be the most important person in his life, and not only did said person leave three years ago to pursue his singing career, but now said person was coming back home to Minnesota to throw a concert for all the graduating seniors. Of course, the whole school would be present but James made it clear he was gifting his presence solely on the seniors. Apparently he had a 'surprise announcement', at least supposedly. Kendall could honestly care less anything James related.

"Don't look so excited." a teasing voice chimed in the air surrounded the blonde.

Kendall turned and met the grinning face of a Latino. Not just any Latino, this was Kendall's half rock Carlos Garcia. The other half of Kendall's rock dropped a warm arm across the blond's shoulder. Logan Mitchell. Kendall's irritation simmered down to a broil with the two of them around. "Yeah, I can see you're really holding down that squeal." Logan's southern drawl whispered over the left shell of Kendall's ear. The blond nudged the older boy away rolling his eyes when the dynamic duo cackled.

"Guys. C'mon. I'm not thrilled. Who does he think he is?" Kendall demanded and crossed his eyes back over to poster James. Carlos raised an eye brow.

"James Diamond?" he answered coyly but this time Logan did the nudging, a warning to quit on the snarky comments. It's been three years but Logan still remembers the heartache mess Kendall was the night James flew to a different world, Los Angeles to be exact. They had crashed at Logan's house that night and Carlos was just as upset as Kendall was, but it was Logan who stayed up the whole night trying to calm and console Kendall who cried in his arms.

Logan knew what James meant to Kendall and while Logan had been happy for James, Logan was never blind to the discreet looks shared between the two of them before James left. Their 'accidental' body brushes and touches, the casual flirtation comments tossed between both of them. And then there was the fight they had right before James boarded his flight to 'never land', as Kendall put very bitterly. Logan never missed a beat with these two so when he heard that James was coming back to their school, he grew worried for Kendall. And while Kendall was fun to tease when he acted like a child, James was a sensitive subject for him to keep getting poked at.

Sighing, the slight brunette studied his blond friend. Kendall's eyes were still locked on the poster but instead of a glare, those grassy emerald had softened and shimmered with distant memory. Logan inwardly sighed. He loved James but James damaged Kendall. And Kendall... Logan wanted to smack sense into him as he knew as well as Kendall himself that his feelings for James never died. Kendall denied this and claimed he hated James, and now Logan would see if this statement speaks truth with James showing himself in the flesh this weekend.

Logan highly doubts it.

...

"Are you sure this is what you want to do?" Kelly Weinwright, a beautiful African American woman, asked the incredibly gorgeous Greek model lounging beside her on the private jet.

"Kells, we're halfway there already, it's a bit too late for asking me that." twinkling hazel eyes, melted in a pretty lake of golden flecks, rose up from the phone screen and gazed at the young woman.

Kelly closed the magazine rested in her lap and gave James Diamond a stern look. "You know better than anyone that I can turn more than a private jet around." James laughed at this although he agreed wholeheartedly. Kelly at first glance was a sweetheart, but underneath that layer of candy and fluff a she-demon resided in silence just patiently waiting for someone to anger her. For as long as James has known Kelly, the woman never took shit from anyone, not even the owner of his label he's signed to. Of course, the owner happened to be her husband but really, that's just a minor detail. "I just want to make sure you realize the decision you're making. This thing is going to be broadcasted world wide. And if my memory is correct, you didn't leave on good terms with your friends."

James looked back down at his phone. "I know. My decision stands Kelly." Regardless of what Kendall still thinks of me.

James heard her sigh softly and the sound of crinkly paper alerted him that she went back to reading her magazine. James fought off a smile despite the sudden heaviness spreading across his chest. He honestly loved Kelly, she's always had his back and adopted the role of a protective parent. Despite James standing well above the six foot mark and Kelly struggling to get past the five foot setting. Gustavo was a hard boss but Kelly working as his assistant made it bearable for James. And it's not like Gustavo is a bad person, far from it; in fact he also adopted the role of a protective parent towards James but God, the man screamed so much and yelled and yada yada yada. Still, it was thanks to Gustavo that James had two albums out, four hit songs, a major role in an action film which featured one of James' song tracks from his second album, and the chance to tour around the world. Gustavo brought his dream to life and James basked in every second of it. However, lately, the brunette has been getting slight attacks of depression, a feeling so fuzzy and unclear of something was missing... James finally nailed the negative sensation he was feeling after finishing a model shoot.

He was doing a solo shoot and after he was done, James passed a separate shoot with four models. They were laughing, expressing joy and all that cheesy shit. James had watched them for a minute, waiting for the director to cut so he could see the four models disband their own ways. But when the director did cut the shoot, James watched in numb silence as the four models still giggled and gathered their belongings, chatting on which Mexican restaurant they would hit. They walked out and James watched by himself. Alone. Lonely.

Gustavo's boss, Griffin, had been spewing up some idea that he suddenly wanted a band under their label. Gustavo wasn't happy at all when he was informed this but James however got an idea. He would get a band. And when he stated this and Gustavo demanded how and where James thought he would protrude a band, even scoffed with, "Out of thin air?"

But James was unpertrubed and calmly answered. "Minnesota."

Griffin was thrilled as James further explained his plan of making it happen. Kelly reluctantly got on board only because their label was going to be more exposed than ever and they were always eager to have juicy suprises. Gustavo was the least happy about it until he heard the suggestion of broadcasting the performance and the auditions live. Then the producer was all for it, they needed some exposure, some lime light action. And James Diamond, the hot star charting number one on all the charts, performing at his old high school for the seniors graduating was one thing, but him holding auditions to find band members would surely keep Rocque Records the talk of the town for awhile. Take that Hawk Records... erm, just kidding.

...

Carlos tugged the reporter lady further down the hall, the silver rows of lockers passing her by in blurs. "This!" the bubbly Latino smacked a locker proudly. "Is all mine."

The reporter straightened out her suit and looked puzzled. "Ahh that's very nice."

"GARCIA." the familiar booming principal's voice carried down the hall.

Carlos eeped before saluting the pretty reporter. "See ya later." he told her with a wink before dashing towards the auditoriam which is where he should have been in the first place. Carlos burst through the doors and jogged through the packed room trying to find Logan and Kendall.

"'Los!" Logan appeared, squeezing through a wall of excited bodies. "Where have you been? I've been looking everywhere for you! Kendall's saving our spots so come on." Logan wrapped his fingers around Carlos's wrists before Carlos could get a word in and tugged him after him up the steps. All the seniors occupied the first four rows and then the rest of the school (and possibly the entire town) swarmed the rest of the seats. An impressive stage was built in the center of the large room, but Kendall wasn't that interested.

Actually, the blond was feeling restless. Whether that had to do with his mind triggering memories because of the fact James was somewhere here under the same roof as him since three years or, or, well just that. That's what had Kendall on edge. The last time he saw James they were screaming at each other before James turned his back on him and walked away, never looking back. No phone call, no email, no sign even in James's music that he still thought about Kendall. And lets not forget those music videos with every girl on the face of this earth clinging to James like static. Before Kendall's thoughts consumed him further, the principal, who looked quite miffed, took to the stage and stood before the microphone.

"Ladies and gentlemen. It is my pleasure to announce an old student who took a path far greater than we can all imagine has returned to not only perform today but has a surprise for Class of 2013 he wishes to give to you all on live television. I must say I, we, are very honored to have housed such a student in the past. And now, for who we've all been waiting for, ours truly, James Diamond!" the principal barely got out 'James' before the screams errupted and he grinned, walking off the stage just as smoke filled the air.

Classic, Kendall thought but his heart was in his throat. He was sandwiched between Carlos and Logan, Carlos who was on his feet screaming with the rest of the girls while Logan clapped, impatiently waiting for James to take the stage. The overhead lights dimmed before flickering madly while the smoke intensified.

And then...

...the sound of a guitar shredding filled the room, drums following suit before quieting down. The crowd cheered, the chant of 'James' blanketing the room. Kendall didn't realize he had stood up along with everyone else in the room but when James finally emerged through the wall of smoke, in the flesh and all, Kendall grew aware of his subconcious action because he stumbled back in his chair, a wall of emotions smaking him like a pissed off girlfriend.

The screaming melted into the background for Kendall as he stared dumbly at his ex best friend. His ex best friend who looked too godly like standing in the center of the stage, wielding a mic as he gazed out into the crowd, genuine happiness spilling across his face. The smoke was blown away and revealed the band set up in place behind James who stood in the spotlight.

"The memories," James chuckled into the mic and the crowd cheered. "You never really know what you have until it's gone, ya know? School isn't the most fun thing in the world, but being around your friends, your circle of people you can't go a day without seeing is something to cherish." James breathed into the mic and gave a witty, slightly forlorn smile. "Because of my gift to you 2013 seniors, I'm only performing two songs." booes and cries were echoed in the large auditoriam making James smile apologetically. "I know I know I'm sorry guys. If it makes you feel any better, I just wrote these songs recently. Never performed them until, so forgive me?"

Carlos pumped his fist in the sky. "YES!" everyone around them agreed and James laughed, his voice so familiar yet so strange to Kendall's ears. The blond felt a jump of excitement flutter through him and then chatised himself. How could he succumb so easily now to James now that he was here in person? Kendall frowned, but it soon disappeared when the music began to play, filling the room with mouth watering melodies. It only drenched further when James started singing.

"I'm an angel with a shot gun, shot gun, shot gun~ Get out your guns, battles begun, are you a saint or a sinner?" James' honeydew voice seeped with a soothing husk. Kendall sat up straight, completely mesmerized by the angelic voice. James grasped the mic stand and gazed out into the crowd, his eyes sharp like hawk's. "If love's a fight, then I shall die with my heart on the trigger~ They say before you start a war you better know what you're fighting for~ well baby you are all that I adore~ is love is what you need, a soldier I will be~".

Everyone but Kendall was on their feet dancing and squealing over the new hot track. Kendall was stuck.

"I'm an angel with a shot gun fighting till' the war's won~ I don't care if heaven won't take me back~ I'll throw away my faith blade just to keep you safe, don't you know you're everything I have? And I, wanna live not just survive tonight~".

Kendall stared. James finished the song with a sweet note and beamed at the astounding applause he earned. "Thank you guys so much. That really means a lot to me. I actually- well, both songs really, are written about someone I took for granted and I want to make it right." Logan and Carlos on cue looked at their best friend who looked shocked. "Angel with a Shotgun was the first song and my second is called Better Than I Know Myself. This goes out to you Kendall." James murmured into the mic. His voice was soft yet loud, reaching Kendall's ears and freezing the blonde. The room spazzed out in hushed voices but with the sounds all meshed together, it was a sea of voices in the air. James's voice cut everyone mute as soon as he started singing.

"Cold as ice, and more bitter than a December night~ that's how I treated you~ and I know that I, I sometimes tend to lose my temper and I cross the line~ yeah that's the truth~".

...

"I thought you would be happy for me!" James yelled at Kendall and shoved him. The blond hit the door and glared with hurt eyes.

"I am James! But how could you not talk to us, talk to me first!" Kendall snapped back and shoved the brunette back. "I didn't know you were going to leave the next day, how could you not tell me!?"

James glared coldly at his best friend. "You knew I was in, quit acting like you don't. And sorry, I didn't know I was going to be leaving so soon but jeez, you don't have to spaz on me like this.

"I am! Just- Why can't they wait? Why do you have to leave now?" Kendall angrily wiped his eyes before the frustrated tears fell.

"Why are you holding me back?! There's NOTHING for me here Kendall! Logan's smart, he can go anywhere he wants while you and Carlos are crazy about hocky but for me? Singing? Acting? This shitty dump offers me nothing!" James hissed and Kendall jerked back upset.

"I'm here! Carlos and Logan-"

"That's not what I mean! God, you're just jealous. I can make it in the big world and you can't. Stick with what you know and don't weigh me down. I've made my choice and I'm leaving tonight." James snapped and shoved his way past. "Don't bother showing up at the airport either, I'm done with you.

...

"I know it get's hard sometimes, but I could never leave your side no matter what I say~" James closed his eyes at his own words. Kendall never once left his mind alone. The blond was permanently attached to James whether he liked it or not. "'Cause if I wanted to go I would've gone by now but, I really need you near me to keep my mind off the edge~" The stage was never full to James even if the stadium or venue was. He was always missing something. "If I wanted to leave I would've left by now but you're the only one that knows me, better than I know myself~" James opened his eyes, his vision full of emerald. Kendall was staring right at him. "All along, I tried to pretend it didn't matter, if I was alone, deep down know~ you were gone and every day I didn't know which way to turn~ 'cause I'm lost without you~".

Many eyes were on Kendall, but Kendall's only paid mind to one pair and those belonged to James. When the song ended, Kendall didn't know. He was too deep in those hazel orbs to focus on anything else. The surprise shared in the room about who James wrote those songs for withered away when the announcement commenced. And the entire world witnessed the high school being broad cast lose their shit when James announced he was searching for band members to start a group.

...

The gymnasium was transformed into an audition setting with a long table set at the middle of the room. James sat in the center, Kelly on his right, and Gustavo on his left. The stage was their entertainment for the next hour as students auditioned, singing songs of their choice (one girl even sang Angel with a shotgun, not to a T but James was still honored). The line was long but James had time. Besides, he was waiting for three specific people who he knew without a doubt would grace the stage.

...

Carlos bounced in line while Kendall glared and Logan consoled him. People were staring and whispering at the blond which was angering him to hell and back. As soon as the lights came back on, Kendall came down to his senses. Those mushy feelings? Yeah, that bull shit was gone! Just what the fuck was James trying to pull?! If this is his way of apologizing he's got another thing coming damn it.

"You saw him Doll, he was serious!" Logan tugged Kendall's arm but the blond jerked his limb back.

"He deliberately sabotaged me publicly!"

"WE WERE LIVE!" Carlos cheered, pumping his fist. A dark cloud surrounded Kendall. Logan glared at his Latino. Damn it Carlos. The trio didn't realize they were close to the judge's table and that James had heard Carlos's remarkably loud voice. Turning in his seat, James immediately locked his eyes on the blond. Kendall's back was facing him but James appreciated the kind view displayed before him. Was Kendall ever that thick before? His black skinny jeans and black band t shirt hanging off his shoulder revealing pale moonlit skin.

The familiar brunette beside Kendall seemed to be comforting him, but then Logan caught his eyes and froze. Kendall whipped around after James saw Logan's mouth move and then James was staring into those emerald orbs once more. Before the guy who was next to audition could walk across the stage, James excused himself ("Hey!" -the guy) and scooted his chair back, deftly leaving it as he headed towards Kendall.

"Came to show me what you got Blondie?" James drawled when he was faced with Kendall.

"JAMES!" Carlos glomped the singer while Logan rolled his eyes. Really, some things don't change. Laughing, James hugged Carlos back. "I missed you." the Latino groaned and pulled back to grin at the taller male. "Lookin' good."

"Logie." Logan's eyes sweated just a little when he heard James say his nickname. James hadn't said it in three years. His irritation with the cocky singer went away and he too threw himself at his old best friend, much to the chagrin of Kendall. Actually, Kendall tried to pretend the reunion between his friends wasn't happening right in front of him. He turned his back to James as soon as he and Logan were finished.

"Still giving me the shoulder?" James asked Kendall who stiffened.

Logan pulled Carlos back knowing their two friends needed their space now.

Whipping around, Kendall glared heatedly at the singer. "Still a friggin' turn I see." he retorted much to the shock of those around them. James sighed and decided maybe his uppity approach wasn't the best idea.

"Kendall-"

"No no no wait, you asked if I came to 'show you what I got' right?" the blonde didn't wait for an answer. He whirled around and stormed his way on the stage snatching the mic out the guy's hand ("Hey!" -the guy). Turning to face James, Kendall sang into the mic, although it was more of a shout, he still held a tune, "Oh you're such a turd oh yeah a giant turd-"

"Not the turd song." Logan closed his eyes and dropped his head. James narrowed his eyes and walked calmly towards the stage, Carlos and Logan following. "-and you look like a turd and you SMELL like a tuuur-erd! Oh you're such a turd-" Kendall started jumping around aggressively, not seeing the looks he was getting from his peers and fellow students, and definitely not seeing James handing mics to Logan and Carlos as well as one for himself. "Oh yeah a giant turd-"

"Tuurd~" Carlos echoed into his mic, his voice lapping with Kendall's smoothly. Kendall stopped his erratic movements and whipped around to gawk at Carlos who was walking on the stage with him. "Oh you're such a turd oh yeah a giant turd," Carlos nudged Kendall when he reached him, encouraging the blond to continue. Miraculously, Kendall did.

"Yep, James a turd-" with a switch of lyrics, "Oh yeah a giant turd,"

"And he looks like a turd." Logan sang, his voice slightly higher than Kendall's and Carlos's. James stomped on the stage and Logan trotted away. Kendall laughed.

Carlos twirled in a circle. "And smell like a turd! Oh you're such a turd," Kendall joined him and Logan echoed them while James began to hum in tune with their voices. All the while a crowd was building up around the stage in awe, not by the stupid song but the way their voices lapped over one another in a creamy wave.

However, Kendall stopped singing when James tried to grab him and stormed off the stage with James following. Logan dragged Carlos after the two of them when he realized only they were singing and that James was chasing Kendall to the judge's table. Logan meeped when Kendall stood on top of the table and look, James went up too. Sigh.

"You're such a turd!" Kendall yelled into the mic as he walked backwards from James who crept closer.

"I know." the singer spoke into the mic, voice heavy.

"You have my number but never wanted to contact me to maybe apologize? Didja ever feel regret or bad?"

"Kendall-"

"I guess not with your slutty Show me girls all cozied up with you huh! They better friends than me James?"

"No-"

"This place is a shitty dump am I wrong?" Kendall snarled and James snapped. "Probably am though since-" whatever else Kendall was going to say was cut short when James yanked him aggressively close by the belt loop of his jeans and silenced the blond's mouth with his securely. Gasps rang out in the gym as well as the ones unheard emitted by the viewers watching. Yes, this was still being broad cast.

For once, Logan's famous motto 'I need new friends' was silenced. Instead, the brunette smiled pleased. I got my friends back.

Kendall briefly thought to fight James off but then James arms encircled his waist and tugged him incredibly close to James' warm body, and God, James' tongue was wetting the seam of his closed lips -he should open them- Kendall did, allowing James to lick inside of his wet cavern. He kissed back, wrapping his arms around the singer's neck raising himself on his toes as he pushed himself further and further into James. Sturdy, warm, nostalgic James.

It felt like eternity before they pulled apart, James making sure the connected line of spit between the two of them was gone before anyone could see. Panting slightly, James slid his hands up, sliding them across the dips and curves of Kendall's body until they were cupping Kendall's face. "I'm more than a turd for what I did to you. I've never stopped thinking about you, every day Kendall, you've always been the one on my mind. A lot has been to be honest." James took a deep breath and looked away from Kendall's wide eyes to glance at Logan and Carlos. "Logie, Los, can you c'mere?"

Within seconds the four of them all stood on the judge's table. Kelly would be scolding all of them but because of what James was going to say next was far more important than her motherly nagging. "Kendall, I love you. And I love you two. You both are like brothers to me, always have been, and Doll," James brushed his thumb across Kendall's lower lip, "You will always be the most important person in my life."

Mixed reactions bubbled to the surface. Many awws and 'My eyes are sweating I swear', and 'I ship them already, etc. James ignored them all, too focused with the three most important people in his life. Flickering his eyes to each of theirs, his locking on Kendall's last, James sighed. "The stage really is a lonely world. I've had my fill of standing on it alone for three years. Will you guys join me?"

James only had eyes for his friends reactions, not everyone screaming around them excitedly, some in rejection. Carlos kicked his leg out in victory. "Fuck yes!"

Logan was stunned but nodding nonetheless. "Of course you dummy!"

And Kendall. Well, Kendall threw his arms around James and smashed their lips together. And thus, the musical journey of Big Time Rush began...