Disclaimer:
Characters in this story belong to Konami, and are used without permission, because we don't know enough Japanese to go hunt down the copyright holders and plead our case.Warnings:
Fic contains both m/f and m/m non-explicit pairings - if you're exclusively a het or yaoi fan... well, come to think of it, there's a little something for everyone, isn't there?Notes:
This story grew out of a little RP between the two authors into a rather massive plot, and started some time ago. References to Suikoden 3 are completely coincidental (and somewhat creepy), seeing as this entire arc was RPed before either of us had played it. However, there is another story to follow which may involve aspects of that game.Oh, mirror in the sky, what is love?
Can the child within my heart rise above?
Can I sail through the changing ocean tides?
Can I handle the seasons of my life?
Well, I've been afraid of changing, 'cause I built my life around you
But time makes you bolder, even children get older
I'm getting older too.
Part 1
---------
The shadows had grown short, nearly as short as they would grow in autumn in the young nation of Dunan. Leaves were falling from the trees outside, covering the ground with a carpet of gold and orange that shone in the midday sun as the merchants and townspeople bustled about.
Gremio turned away from the tavern's door and sighed at the two plates of lunch sitting before him on the table, as he reluctantly took a bite. It wasn't that the food was bad - not at all - but something was missing, and he knew precisely what it was. It had nothing to do with the recipe, either.
A slender figure appeared at the door, silohuetted against the bright sunlit avenue outside, peering into the tavern, and Gremio smiled. Yes, that was what had been missing.
Seeing Gremio, Tir rushed over to the table apologetically. "I'm sorry to keep you waiting, Gremio...I wanted to see if there was anyone around that I had met before."
Gremio nodded, and pushed the plate which remained untouched towards the chair Tir stood before. "No trouble at all, Young Master - though your lunch may object to being kept waiting. Still, mine is hot enough, so yours should be perfectly fine."
Sitting down in his chair, Tir peered at the food dejectedly for a moment before setting an elbow on the table and resting his chin in his hand. "...I'm not really hungry, Gremio."
Gremio paused and swallowed his mouthful of egg and cheese as he regarded Tir curiously. "Are you feeling all right? If we're going to be rushing around and seeing the sights, you really should eat... besides, the food here is quite good," Gremio commented.
With a shrug, Tir picked up his fork, but only used it to shove the food around his plate in a circle once before replying. "I guess so, but... nothing's ever as good as yours."
"Well, thank you for the compliment..." Gremio smiled slightly. "But even so..."
Tir finally lifted a forkful to his mouth with a small smile of his own. "You will worry if I do not eat, and I hate to make you worry."
Gremio would worry regardless, of course. His Young Master had been moody for quite some time, and although he could guess at the reasons, Tir never had given him exact details.
Trying to offer some kind of comfort, Gremio reached over to touch his shoulder gently. "...I would not ask it if you were not feeling well... Is everything all right?"
Tir shrugged again, staring down at his plate as if it had suddenly become much more interesting. "...I'm fine..."
Gremio wasn't convinced, but went back to his lunch anyhow, keeping an eye on Tir. "If you say so, I suppose..." A thought occurred to him, and he hesitated again. "Are you ready to move on again already?"
Tir took another bite of his lunch and chewed thoughtfully. "It needs more salt...or perhaps garlic." Looking over at Gremio, he tried to smile. "Why would I want to move on...we...we just got here."
His hesitation was obvious despite the smile, and after having travelled from place to place with him already for the last few years, Gremio could imagine a reason or two for Tir wanting to move on. Stifling a worried sigh, he smiled back. "Well then... Hmm, perhaps I'll ask for the recipe, and play with it a bit," he mused, changing the subject. "Now that you mention it, a bit more spice would add a bit of character."
Tir nodded enthusiastically and poked his lunch with his fork again. "It isn't bad, believe me...but..." He paused and smiled again, softer. "Maybe I only think that because I simply know no one is better than you."
Gremio laughed lightly, and gave him a self-conscious nod. "I believe your opinion might be a bit biased... but I-"
He was cut off by sudden darkness, as someone's hands covered his eyes from behind. Before he could react, a low, almost seductive voice murmured, "I agree with him, honestly. Guess who, puppy?"
Gremio's mouth fell open. "Rina!" he exclaimed, too startled to come up with a more witty response as he dropped his fork and raised his hands to take hers. "What are... you...?" Tir was looking with open-mouthed surprise at the figure standing over Gremio, he found, and Gremio winced inwardly as Tir set his fork down on the table and narrowed his eyes just slightly.
"Leaving another man dumbstruck, dear sister?" another voice cut in as Eilie pulled a chair out at their table, sitting down with a thump. "Greetings, Tir! And Gremio. It's been awhile."
Gremio turned to look up Rina as she chuckled under her breath, placing her hands on his shoulders. "Fancy meeting you two here. We were just passing through... and Eilie wanted to stop in and see if Riou had been around."
"Which he hasn't..." Eilie said with a dramatic sigh, and then grinned at Tir. "But I can't say I'm disappointed in what we did find."
Though Gremio raised an eyebrow at the look she gave him, Tir continued to glare at Rina in suspicion, saying nothing. Eilie's leaning over to wave a hand in front of his face finally got through to him, and he smiled vaguely. "Yes... we are also just passing through. In fact, we were talking about leaving soon, weren't we, Gremio?"
Gremio had turned back to Rina with a smile as she slid into the chair beside him, letting her arm rest lazily on his shoulders. "Er... yes, we were..." he mumbled, distracted, then laughed again, as if in disbelief. "But I thought I might get some supplies while we're here, so that we can make the most of our journey, without stopping every few days. That will take the afternoon, at least..."
Tir leaned back in his chair, folding his arms over his chest, and Eilie looked from Tir to Gremio to her sister and back to Tir, trying to stifle a laugh. "I hope it doesn't take too long," he muttered.
"I hope it does," Eilie grinned again, and elbowed Tir, who actually colored slightly before turning his gaze back to the plate of mostly untouched food in front of him.
Gremio widened his eyes as Rina began playing with his hair, twirling the end of his ponytail around her finger. "Well, you don't want to leave in the evening, do you...?" she asked him. "So you'll be spending tonight, won't you, puppy?"
Gremio nodded, almost a bit helplessly. "I... see no reason to rush things..."
Tir lifted his head in surprise, and to Gremio, it looked for a moment like he might reach across the table and snatch his hair right out of Rina's hands. Instead, he shoved his chair back from the table sharply as he stood, his hands quivering as he adjusted his tunic. "I'm not hungry. I'm going for a walk."
Now what was that about? Completely puzzled, Gremio stood up as well as Tir turned to go. "Young M..."
Tir was already walking away, and Gremio turned back to Rina, who did not look put off at all. "...I don't believe he knew that we'd been... er... seeing each other," he explained, puzzled by Tir's actions. "...For lack of a better term," he added.
Rina nodded, and shrugged. "Not seeing each other is more the term... but yeah, looks like he got a surprise."
"I can talk to him later, if you want..." Eilie offered with a sigh. "It's not as if I'm not used to that sort of thing."
Tir was not quite out of earshot, and his face grew more stormy as he quickened his pace to race out of the tavern. Gremio watched him go with a sigh, and looked down at the table, and the two young women sitting there. The plate of food in front of Tir's now-empty place had barely been touched, he noticed. "Thank you, Eilie ... but I believe I'd better talk to him myself right now," he murmured. "And Rina... I will see you a bit later? I would very much like to spend some time with you, since we have this unexpected chance."
She nodded, and chuckled again. "Can't say I'd object. I'll be waiting."
Blowing Gremio a kiss as he hurried off after Tir, Rina settled down into her chair, and Eilie gave her an exasperated look. "You're stirring up trouble again, sis."
Rina gave her younger sister a knowing smirk. "Trust me - there would be a little friction between those two right now even if I didn't exist."
Eilie said nothing more, but considered.
Tir had stalked off straight out the front doors of the tavern, heading for some trees ripe with colour, and far enough away from all other people to suit his mood. Gremio caught up with him easily, however, undoubtedly spotting the familiar bandanna amongst the other people bustling through the castle. "Young Master? You seemed to be upset... I apologize if I startled you with that little... revelation."
Tir shrugged and sat down underneath the nearest tree. "Leave me alone."
Gremio paused. "Tir... I suppose that seemed rather sudden, and well..." He stopped and thought about it for a moment. "To be honest, it was. She performed in Gregminster last year, and read my future in the cards... and decided I was very interesting. And we... just, sort of... found each other interesting, I suppose..."
Tir shook his head, refusing to look up at Gremio. "You don't have to explain anything to me, Gremio. I'm not a child, and aside from that, I have no say in what you do with your life...or...who you choose to...to be close to."
Gremio almost looked offended at his words. "Young Master, you have every say in what I do - after all, you are my Young Master... and I'm quite flattered that you've still kept me on after so many years. The last thing I want is to upset you..." he stated, his voice full of concern that Tir knew was perfectly sincere.
Tir sighed heavily. "I do not wish to upset you either, but... I like to believe you are with me out of want, and not obligation. If your wants begin to take you other places, I would understand."
Gremio shook his head, and cautiously sat down next to Tir, slipping an arm around his shoulders in the familiar, comfortable manner he had. "I can't imagine wanting anything more, to be honest. My life has been..." He paused, looking for the proper words. "...So different than it was before your father took me in. I would much rather not go back to the days when I was not at your side."
Gremio never spoke about what he'd done before he'd come to the McDohl household, aside from having been in the army for a short time. After so many years, Tir still knew nothing about Gremio's past, if he even had any family he might keep in touch with, or something he missed, or that he'd tried to put behind him.
Even so, Tir leaned against Gremio slightly and nodded slowly. "I understand... and I am sorry if I offended you by insinuating otherwise."
Tir could feel the slight sigh of relief that Gremio breathed. "Don't worry about offending me, Young Master... if you would rebuke me for any reason, I would be willing to hear it."
Tir shook his head. "No...I would not, I could not..." He paused again, struggling with his next words. "If you want to go and spend some time with her, please do... I would like some time just to sit and enjoy the autumn day."
Apparently too distracted by his own thoughts to hear the strain in Tir's voice, Gremio nodded. "Well, I can't deny I would relish the opportunity. With both she and I traveling so frequently, it's not as if we've ever spent much time together. And although she may come off as a bit crude, she's quite mature... much more so than I'd have expected." He hesitated suddenly, and Tir wondered if he realized that he wasn't helping matters with his explanation. Apparently so, for when he continued, changing the subject, Gremio's voice sounded as strained as Tir's. "...At any rate, yes... the weather is lovely... Ah, I... I am sorry again for this little surprise, I hadn't meant to keep it a secret, by any means..."
More upset by this last burst, Tir shrugged and looked away, hoping Gremio would go away before he changed his mind and said what he was really thinking about Gremio's new friend. "It's fine..." he started, but couldn't refrain from mumbling to himself under his breath, nearly inaudibly. "...she's younger than I am..."
Gremio frowned slightly, hearing the mumbling. "Yes, though I admit I didn't realize at first. She presents herself in a very... adult way." He sighed, resting a hand on Tir's shoulder for a moment before he stood, forcing a smile. "And besides, it's not as if she's a child - after all, you're not a boy anymore, are you? Not truly... though I'm afraid sometimes I still forget myself."
Tir reached down to pluck a piece of grass and nodded. "You do..."
Gremio smiled more earnestly, apparently not hearing the irony in Tir's words. "But... as you're not a boy," he reasoned, "I suppose it would be silly of me to worry so much about spending an afternoon away from you, wouldn't it? Enjoy the nice weather... and I will see you at dinner?"
Tir nodded and made the best effort he could to plaster a smile on his face. "Perhaps.... "
Gremio straightened, looking much more satisfied. "I hope so... I will see if I can spend a bit of time in the kitchen myself, and perhaps make dessert - I'll need to do some baking before we depart anyhow. Whenever we will be departing. I'm a bit confused as to when you might like to leave, but I suppose we can go over the details tonight... I will see you later, then."
Tir nodded again and waved a hand in farewell, then turned back to staring off vacantly into the distance as Gremio strode off towards the tavern once more. He did not trust himself to speak again.
The heat in his cheeks must have been obvious, for Rina paused, drawing back from the kiss, to raise an eyebrow at Gremio with amusement. "Something on your mind?"
"Ah, no... not exactly..." Letting go of her hand, he paced away, looking out the window of the tavern. He couldn't tell from his vantage point if Tir was still sitting under that tree or not, and the idea of his Young Master alone on a perfectly beautiful autumn day bothered him tremendously.
The lunch crowd had thinned out some time ago, and Eilie had gone off somewhere as well, so the two of them were the only people left in the tavern except for a few barmaids. "You were always a little shy, but it seems like you've gotten even more uptight since the last time I saw you," Rina commented, and he tried not to flinch as he felt her hand rest on his hip from behind. "Someday I'm going to make you show me why the Wolf came up as your first card, when you never act the slightest bit predatory. The cards never lie, though."
Gremio chuckled absently, remembering. "I'm afraid I have no idea, my lady - about cards in general, or the reading you received. I've never used so much as playing cards before."
"Yeah, you wouldn't." Her hand left his hip, and she stepped around almost in front of him, looking at him curiously. "But I thought you liked kissing me. You seemed to before."
"Well, yes..." Gremio sighed, trying to pin down why exactly it felt so awkward all of a sudden, as awkward as when she'd first expressed an interest in him. After a moment's thought, it came to him, and he gazed out the window again. "It's just... No offense, my lady, but you are after all much younger than me... just as Tir reminded me a short time ago."
"Hmmph, was that all?" Rina put her hands on her hips with a smirk. "I never should have let Eilie tell you how old I really am - you really had no clue before, did you?"
"None whatsoever. Of course, it doesn't help matters that I still see myself as being something of a... a young man," Gremio muttered. He was blushing as much as he had as a teenager, certainly. "Travelling with Tir... the time doesn't pass at all for him, it seems, and I suppose that I forget it does pass for me. Except when I am forcibly reminded that the world did not stop the moment he received his True Rune. Some days I feel my age creeping up on me... and today is one of those days."
"If it helps, I thought you were younger than you really were myself," Rina offered, stepping closer to touch his cheek, turning his attention away from the window. "So here's how it is - you're no old man, and I'm no little girl. So there's nothing wrong with us, is there?"
Gremio shook his head, smiling back softly as he took her hand between his own. "Of course not... Thank you." What she said was true, but Tir's words - she's younger than I am - somehow still left him uneasy with the situation.
There were any number of obvious reasons for him to feel that way, but none of them needed to be shared with Rina. Stubbornly refusing to let himself waste more time by thinking about them, when they had so little time to spend together, he squeezed Rina's hand and smiled at her in earnest. "So tell me of the lands you've visited since we've last seen each other - the people you've met, the exotic cuisine. I want to hear all about your travels."
Rina rolled her eyes, teasing him. "You just want the recipes so you can keep Tir from getting bored with your stews."
Gremio sniffed as if insulted, teasing her right back. "I'll have you know that Young Master would never get bored with my stews," he said haughtily, his eyes twinkling as they sat down again at the nearest table. "And if he did... my biscuit recipe is second to none as well."
Tir was dozing lightly against the same tree he'd been sitting under for several hours when a light touch on his shoulder woke him. Looking up in the gathering dusk, he rubbed one eye, expecting it to be Gremio, and disappointed that it was not.
"I'm sorry if I'm disturbing you..."
Tir watched the quirky smile that played at her lips, and he too smiled. "I somehow doubt you are truly sorry..." he replied softly, and she laughed, taking that as an invitation to sit down beside him. "My apologies for my rudeness earlier," he started after a moment of silence, but she waved him off before he could finish.
"Nonsense, Tir," she frowned. "You did nothing wrong..." She paused, unable to really tell him that Gremio or Rina had been in the wrong either. "You were just surprised. I would have been surprised too, except that I am used to such behavior from my sister."
Tir wrinkled his nose, reaching up to catch a golden leaf in his gloved hand as it fluttered down from the tree. "I was not raised in such a manner as to speak rudely of a lady..."
Eilie laughed again, the corners of her eyes creasing as she shook her head. "Tir, if I may be so forward as to give you a bit of advice... I know we don't know each other well, that I am younger than you, and probably far less experienced in life, but I do know my sister..."
Tir looked up from his leaf to find her gaze steady on him and he nodded. "Go ahead."
"I doubt whatever's going on between her and Gremio is all that serious - it can't be, from the very nature of our lives."
"I suppose..." The leaf in Tir's hand had started to crumble away at the edges as he played with it, and he let it go, watching it drift the last foot into the browning grass.
"We're performers, travelers, we meet people everywhere we go..."
"I understand that."
"She doesn't mean any harm."
The sun had all but disappeared below the horizon by this time, and after a few moments of silence, Eilie jumped to her feet, extending a hand to Tir. "Come walk around back with me, by the lake."
Tir considered, knowing that although Gremio would be expecting him at dinner, he would probably also be distracted by Rina. Tir found he wasn't particularly comfortable with the idea of walking in on the two of them anywhere, nor was he actually hungry, so after a moment's hesitation he took Eilie's hand, surprised at the strong grip that yanked him to his feet.
He was surprised yet again when she kept hold of his hand, leading him around the back of the castle where the lake rolled onto the sandy shore. It was quiet and nearly deserted, with most people inside for dinner, and Tir lifted his face to the moist breeze with a small smile. "It really is a beautiful night," Eilie commented at his expression, and he glanced at her, at their hands, and then back to her eyes again, suddenly feeling vaguely uncomfortable.
"Yes, it is... I forget sometimes just how beautiful this world can be, but I suppose I have a long time in which to remedy that."
"Does it bother you?"
Though the question was immediate, Tir's response came slower, his eyes unfocused and gazing out at the water. "Very few people have ever asked me that, you know."
"I'm nosy."
Tir chuckled softly, not about to deny that statement. "I have no desire to live forever, if that's what you're asking, but at the same time, knowing that I am preventing anyone else from being hurt by this... thing..." He glanced down at his free hand, the gloved hand, as if he could see right through the leather to the mark on his skin.
"I think it might be nice to live forever..." Eilie said wistfully, turning her eyes away from Tir to also gaze out at the water, watching the ripples under the rising moon. "I think of all the places I could travel to and perform, all the people I could meet, all the foods I could eat."
"Yes, you could..." Tir started carefully, worried he might upset or offend her with his next remark. "...Time would also stand still for you while you watched Rina and Bolgan grow old and die. And then..." He trailed off, the rest did not need to be said. Alone. The word echoed in his mind.
Eilie suddenly understood, and she squeezed Tir's hand in hers. "I... see..."
"I thought you would."
They stood there in silence for awhile, hands clasped, each lost to their own thoughts and the ever turning water, until finally Eilie turned to him, tugging on his arm. "I don't know how I would live without Rina and Bolgan... I mean, I would survive, I would exist, but... I don't think I would live."
"Yes..."
"And Gremio is like that for you?"
Gremio was far more than that to Tir, after all they had been through, and all the Soul Eater forced him to relive again and again, but he simply nodded. "Yes."
"You... you love him, don't you?"
Tir's frozen expression and slight jolt in posture was answer enough for Eilie, but she waited patiently for his verbal reply. "Well, I... he is my dearest friend. Of course I... I love him."
Eilie nodded thoughtfully, not pressing him any further. "I think, Tir - no, I know, when I look into your eyes - " She reached up her free hand to turn his face towards her, once again gazing at him with that same probing look she had worn when she first sat down under the tree. "Like my friend Riou... there is this spark within you. And no matter what you might think, as long as you never let that spark die, things will turn out just fine."
Tir smiled slightly then, but before he could reply, Eilie had leaned closer to leave a gentle kiss on his surprised lips, just the barest brush, and then let go of his hand. Tir stood there in surprise, blinking, as she turned to go.
"I ought to go check on Bolgan to see if he's eaten. I have no doubt he's slept the entire day, right through dinner, but we will be on our way again soon enough."
"Eilie..." Tir finally managed to choke out, reaching out a hand to her shoulder.
"Yeah?"
Without being exactly sure of what he was doing, as it had been years since he'd been in such a position, Tir stepped closer to her, letting his hand slip from her shoulder to her chin. He leaned forward this time, their heights being nearly identical, and kissed her, far more soundly than she had him.
Eilie was quick to return the kiss, and then chuckled softly when he released her. "You are full of surprises, Tir McDohl. I hope we meet again soon."
"I do as well..." he nodded. "Though it may not seem like it, I appreciated both your company and your advice."
She nodded, smiling, and then turned to go, walking up the sandy banks towards the castle. "Don't stay out here, too long, okay? It's getting cold, and you're likely to worry Gremio, once I drag Rina away from him."
Tir smiled back, but the mention of Gremio and Rina brought the current situation crashing back down on his head. His smile faded as Eilie disappeared from sight, and he turned back to the lake, stepping closer before reaching down to take his shoes and socks off. Leaving them in a heap on the shore, he waded into the cold lake until the water splashed about his knees.
True as Eilie had said, the world was a big and beautiful place, full of places, peoples, foods... but Tir could still not imagine caring to experience it without Gremio by his side.
It was much later that night when Gremio left his unexpected company in search of someone far more familiar, and managed to catch up with him down at the bottom of the cliffs by the castle. It wasn't entirely unexpected to find him in such a place, though he was without the fishing pole that often accompanied him by the water's edge. So much for Gremio's hope that Tir had simply spent the afternoon and evening fishing.
Gremio shivered slightly as he approached, and the cool wind coming in off the lake touched his cheek. Oblivious to his approach, Tir seemed not to notice the chill of the autumn night either; he sat cross-legged at the edge of the water, letting the waves wander up around him, completely impervious to how cold the water must be. His sigh was audible, drifting on the breeze as he scooted back from the water's edge at last, and idly traced letters into the sand with one finger.
Unable to make out what he was writing in the darkness, Gremio peered down at the writing for a moment, before speaking. "...Young Master? Is everything all right...?"
Tir jumped slightly, having been so transfixed by what he was doing that he did not hear Gremio's approach. "Gremio..."
Gremio paused, hearing the surprise in Tir's voice. "I-I'm sorry to startle you..." Sitting down in the sand beside him, Gremio reached within his cloak for the small canteen that warmed his side. "Since I did not see you at dinner, I brought some cocoa... the night is beginning to get a bit chilly, after all. It gets cold earlier here than in Gregminster."
Lifting his head, Tir smiled slightly at Gremio. "You're right... I didn't even notice."
With a sigh, he reached to take the canteen that Gremio offered, and Gremio smiled, glad to be of at least some use. "I, ah, know I shouldn't coddle you so, but... if you would like my cloak as well, I'm plenty warm."
Tir took a long drink and then shook his head as he handed it back to Gremio. "I'm warm enough... but honestly, Gremio..." He paused. "Sometimes I miss your... coddling, if that's the way you wish to phrase it." .
Gremio accepted the canteen as Tir went back to running his fingers over the sand, starting to smudge what he'd written. Closer to the sand, Gremio could barely make out the last few letters - "io" and "r" - and the revelation made him pause, although it was not exactly a surprise. It raised questions he didn't want to think about, but it wasn't a surprise.
After some thought, he leaned over to wrap the edge of his cloak around Tir's shoulders. "Well then, if you don't object... no one is watching but the two of us, I imagine."
Tir hesitated only a moment before scooting closer to Gremio. "I wouldn't care if anyone was. Gremio..."
He paused again and sighed, and Gremio waited to hear the result of the indecision he heard in his voice. No explanation seemed to be forthcoming, and he decided he may as well give Tir a push. "It seems to me as though something has been troubling you, Young Master... and..." He too was having trouble trying to find the right words, after the way they had parted that afternoon. "...Well, I must admit that I find it difficult to think of you as more than the boy I've watched grow for these many years, no matter what prestige you achieve..."
"That's the funniest thing, really," Tir muttered with another sigh, "that everyone else was always going on about how much I'd grown, and how I was a man and not a boy...but look at me, I still look like I'm sixteen, if even that old." Picking up a handful of damp sand, Tir let it drop splattering to the ground again. "I don't blame you for seeing me as nothing but a boy...but..."
Gremio smiled gently, seeing that Tir had misinterpreted his intentions. "Master Tir, what I mean to say is... just as when you were truly a child, you can still come to me if you'd like. You are my Young Master, after all, and I will serve in whatever way you like."
Tir bit his lip and turned to Gremio again, lifting one hand as if wanting to touch him, but he stopped midway through the gesture and let his hand fall. "I don't need to ask if you really mean that, for I know you do... but I sometimes wonder if you realize what you are really giving to me with those words. Do you not want your freedom, Gremio? Especially now that you have found a place to live, and life, and..." He stopped, and the last word came out slightly choked. "...Love?"
Gremio froze at the unexpected questions, and suddenly laughed, lightly. "Young Master, freedom is only a matter of making your own choices, and I have chosen to serve you as long as you wish me to," he assured Tir. "There is no lack of freedom in my life."
Despite the assurance, Tir frowned. "And if I decided to leave? Right now?"
"I would go with you," Gremio replied with a nod, "or I would remain - whichever you preferred."
Tir nodded back thoughtfully. "Then you'd leave me to choose whether or not to be selfish."
Considering for a moment, Gremio tried to think how best to phrase his reply before giving it. "Young Master... I'm not sure which way you would consider selfishness - to ask me to leave with you, or to ask me to remain behind."
Tir furrowed his eyebrows, looking a bit puzzled by Gremio's answer. "I want you to be happy, Gremio," he told him. "You deserve so much... all the wonderful things you could have here, or in Gregminster. A kitchen, a hearth, a home, a - a woman..." The words sounded painfully awkward, and Gremio tried not to let his worry show as Tir continued. "Other people who could care about you. To take you away from them would be selfish on my part."
"I did have many wonderful things in Gregminster," Gremio pointed out with a light shrug, "and I found that coming with you surpassed them all. Not that I don't still miss Pahn and Cleo at times," he added quickly, "and watching the birds by the fountain, and the people coming and going from the palace - but travelling with you has never been anything but pleasure," he finished, gazing out at the moonlight on the lake.
Tir sighed and nodded. "I miss Pahn and Cleo too... I miss a lot of the people we have met and left behind. Even with all the people who know me, in all the places we've visited, I often feel lonely."
Resting the arm holding the cloak in place across Tir's shoulders, Gremio hugged him gently, and felt Tir's arm loop around him beneath the cloak in response. "Perhaps we should go back and pay Pahn and Cleo a visit, and everyone else in Gregminster?" he suggested. "Just for a short time, at least - I know you feel you can't stay there..."
"I don't belong anywhere..." Tir muttered, turning to him suddenly, his expression frustrated. "And once you are gone, I will be just like Ted. Wandering forever and ever and ever."
That was really why Tir had been so distant from him recently, Gremio realized. Of course he'd been thinking about it as well, but had consoled himself with the idea that Tir was in fact older than he looked, and could care for himself once Gremio was no longer there for him, so perhaps he was accustoming himself to the idea...
But he didn't want to get used to it, and Gremio didn't want him to get used to it either.
With a sigh, Gremio slipped the other arm around Tir, pulling him closer to hold him protectively. "I know, my dear Young Master, I know... I've thought the same," he admitted. "But dear boy, if I can remain with you through all this time, perhaps you will find others..." He smiled at a sudden thought. "Perhaps you will do as I did, and find a little boy, and watch him grow into a lifelong friend..."
Not cheered by the idea, Tir wound his other arm around Gremio as well, burying his face in Gremio's shoulder, sighing at the familiar feeling of Gremio's hair tickling his nose. "I lost you once... I fear losing you again. Even if there are others..." he murmured, "they will never be you."
Gremio breathed a quiet laugh, trying to lighten the mood. "Well, of course they will not be me. But you will have friends, Young Master - if you let your soul's light shine more than you let the Soul Eater swallow it up in darkness. Have you forgotten how easily people believed in you during the wars?" he reminded Tir firmly. "And how many of them followed just because they sensed what a special person you are..."
"I...haven't forgotten..." Tir replied, shaking his head, "but sometimes I feel like every day it's a little harder not to let the dark swallow me whole... The things it whispers to me...and...and what I do to make it stop..." He paused, his voice dropping to a whisper. "I'm tired."
With another sigh, Gremio leaned into him a bit more. It was a shame, he thought, that he couldn't do more to assist Tir than just offer him encouragement. "You're very strong, Young Master, and I trust that you will learn to manage it in time. This rune of yours can't be evil, not truly - if Ted held it for three hundred years, and was still the bright lad he was when you met him, even until the day of his death... there must be a way to overcome," he reasoned.
Tir nodded again. "I try... I won't let it take me, or give it to anyone else, because I know what it can do...have seen it firsthand." Loosening one arm from around Gremio, he reached for the end of his ponytail, twiddling it between his fingers thoughtfully. "....At least I don't need to ever worry about.... No, nevermind," he corrected himself quickly. "I don't even want to think about it."
"...As you wish..." Gremio furrowed his eyebrows, confused by Tir's words. He had no idea what Tir meant, but there were plenty of other things he'd been thinking about that he could make suggestions about. "If you would ever want a reprieve," he offered, "I would gladly take it upon myself, even if only to give you a temporary respite..."
Tir's mouth fell open, and he drew back to look at Gremio in disbelief. "I...I could never..."
Gremio just smiled, having expected such a reaction. "I may not be as strong as you, Young Master, but I believe I could manage for a time..."
Tir shook his head fervently. "I have no doubt of that, but..." Reaching up with one hand, he traced the scar on Gremio's cheek fondly. "I would never want to do such a thing to anyone, most especially you."
"...Is it really so much worse than what I've seen you endure with my own eyes?" Gremio asked, concerned. He wasn't entirely sure how the rune affected Tir, except that it was difficult to control when it... hungered. He'd seen Tir clutching at his hand, and heard him crying quietly in the night, when Tir thought he was asleep. Whatever the rune did to him, however it expressed its hunger, it was obviously unpleasant. "You do know that I can withstand a great deal of pain, particularly if it is for a worthy cause," he added. "I would consider it an honor if I could lessen any pain of yours."
Tir nodded as his eyes filled with tears, and suddenly he threw his arms around Gremio again, nearly knocking them over. "Then I wish we could share it and never have to be alone..."
Mildly surprised by the strong reaction, Gremio held him tightly, squeezing as hard as he could manage, feeling almost tangibly the bittersweetness in Tir's embrace. In a strange way, he wished it really could last forever, despite the frustration that had inspired it. "...I would not object..." he whispered.
With a sigh, Tir impulsively gave Gremio's cheek a light kiss. "If only there was a way....but there isn't, and so I...."
The thing that bothered Gremio was that this might not be entirely true. After Tir had acquired his True Rune, Gremio had considered many things... and perhaps it was time to come out with the most realistic, he decided - despite what he knew it would sound like.
"...This may sound incredibly cruel, Young Master," he began, "but often I have wondered... if there are other true runes in need of owners, or with an owner who would like to pass on the burden..."
Tir had not let go of Gremio yet, and in fact, his arms tightened around him at the suggestion. "Gremio..." His voice, nearly muffled in Gremio's shoulder, sounded shocked. "Gremio...you would...do such a thing?"
Gremio nodded against Tir's shoulder, though he cringed in anticipation of the answer he would probably receive. "As I said, it sounds selfish and cruel, but if it was to stay at your side for eternity, I think... I think I might even go so far as to try to steal one," he admitted, "if we happened to find someone corrupt or unfit to be the holder of a true rune..."
Tir shivered at the thought, digging his fingers into Gremio's back, both protectively and possesively. Gremio waited for the certain reply - that's a horrible thing to say, or that's not something to joke about - but instead, Tir surprised him when he finally spoke. "The words are on my tongue to say... let's go ahead and do it..."
He probably hadn't taken it too seriously, Gremio thought, as a wistful fantasy solution to his troubles, and he smiled. "There is something to the idea, yes? A certain air of danger and romanticism... Hunters of the True Runes... to take them back from those who might use them for wrongdoing..." Again, he laughed softly, as if it was nothing but a joke. "And I almost wish I could say that we start with that Luc fellow - such an impertinent brat. I suppose that is not enough of a basis, however."
He was rewarded by a soft chuckle. "I happen to agree with you, but... probably not. Right now, though... we have the Soul Eater, so..."
He paused again, considering. "If you're serious, Gremio... we could. We could... and then..." He sighed thoughtfully. "Then maybe I would be a whole lot happier to simply stay in one place."
Gremio wasn't sure whether this unexpected reaction was a relief, as Tir was not furious with him for thinking up such a plot, or if it frightened him to think that Tir might be desperate enough to consider it as a valid option. "You know I am not in favor of excess violence, by any means," he reminded Tir. "But... even so... part of me is completely serious."
Tir was silent for a moment. "And in the past few years we have found plenty of secret places to return to, should we ever need a rest or a place to hide..."
This wasn't just a fond daydream to Tir, and he wasn't just humoring him, Gremio realized - he was honestly considering it. And as he'd considered it for quite some time, as a possible answer to his Young Master's unhappiness, he had gone over every potential drawback to the plan long before, when he'd first thought. All that mattered now was Tir's response.
He felt Tir's gloved hand clench and unclench against his back, their arms still wrapped around each other. "Say the word and I would go..." Tir told him, "but this is a decision that can't be mine."
Gremio pulled back, taking hold of Tir's shoulders and holding him slightly away as he met his eyes evenly. "...Would you choose now to follow me, then?" The tension was nearly strangling him, and he tried to break it with a soft chuckle. "I'm afraid that's a bit backwards..."
Tir smiled slightly. "The end result would not be so backwards if by following you, then we would always be able to follow one another for the rest of time."
So that was his answer. "I've investigated the matter a bit already, you know," Gremio told his Young Master, regarding him seriously. "All those letters you've seen me write have not been only to Pahn and Cleo - I've been writing to Jeane and Emilia as well..."
Tir's eyes went wide, and he took Gremio's hand between his two. "You...you have? And what have they to say about it?"
Gremio let his free hand rest on the back of the leather glove, just touching it gently, as he recited the research he'd gone over many times since they'd set out from Gregminster. "After the Dunan Unification Wars," he began, "the Beast Rune vanished. As a true rune, it is unlikely it was destroyed - being a part of the foundation of the world, destroying it entirely would likely have caused great distress to the land... And then the Sindar people had possession of the Rune of Change - no trace of it remains, and I suspect it may be just what Lorelai and others sought."
Tir nodded thoughtfully, his own gaze drifting to their two hands. "But do they have new keepers, hiding...or are they simply lost?" he wondered aloud.
Barely hearing him, Gremio continued, thinking back. "Oh, and Emperor Barbarosa had the Sovereign Rune embedded on his Dragon King Sword, but he was lost when he and Windy fell from the garden atop the castle, and his sword with him. And though we know who holds the true Wind and Earth runes, the true Water and Lightning runes are lost... and the true Fire rune was stolen from Harmonia quite some time ago. It seems to have last been seen in the possession of some sort of... bandit group, somewhere in the Grasslands."
Listening attentively, Tir pondered the options. "That's a good many missing True Runes... Do you... have a list of all of them?"
Gremio shook his head. "There are a few as well which no one seems to know of at all - not so much as even their names."
Tir nodded again, turning his hand over to grab Gremio's and squeeze it again. "With so many options, it seems it wouldnt be too hard... especially with the amount of power I already have...."
"Perhaps we would have better luck than so many others who have hunted true runes," Gremio agreed. "And if I may say so, Young Master," he added, trying to add a bit more justification in spite of the lack of opposition so far, "our objectives are perhaps a bit more noble than many of them."
Tir sighed, suddenly looking up at the stars. "Not for power, money or control....simply for... life, friendship...love..."
Seeing that he understood, Gremio smiled, squeezing Tir's hand. "I would certainly not be giving up any of those things by following you wherever you choose to go."
Tir smiled at Gremio even as he yawned. He looked more peaceful than he had in a long while, and Gremio felt much better about his suggestion. "Well then, if I might be so presumptuous..." Tir told him, "we certainly can't be adventuring without a good night's sleep and a good meal... so perhaps you'd follow me back inside to bed? I..." He hesitated, looking much more like the boy he used to be. "I would like your company in our room at the inn, if that's okay, at least until I fall asleep."
"Of course I will be in our room, as long as you wish," Gremio agreed, patting Tir's hand again comfortingly. Though Rina had suggested otherwise, he'd made it clear to her long ago that Tir was his highest priority. "Though I should be up early to make breakfast in the morning, perhaps, and some fresh bread to take with us when we set out."
Tir yawned again as he got to his feet. "You may want to check the castle's library to see if they have any information on the True Runes as well, Gremio," he suggested.
Gremio hummed thoughtfully. "I may, though I doubt they'd have anything more extensive than Emilia's collection in Greenhill, would they...? Even so, an excellent suggestion - you never know where some telling little bit of information might be found. I'll see to it in the morning also." Although, he thought to himself, he had gathered enough information already that suggested an easy route to success on such a journey.
He'd never actually expected to start out on the journey, though - and as he rose from his place on the sand to go back to the inn, holding his hand out to Tir, the scope of exactly what he meant to do hit him all of a sudden, and he closed his eyes, shivering.
His thoughts already on the impending adventure as well, Tir didn't notice as he took Gremio's offered hand and did not let go of it, smiling distractedly. "Then to the inn we go, fearless leader," he chuckled.
Opening his eyes again, Gremio forced a soft laugh as he led Tir back towards the castle. "I'm only fearless because you're with me, Young Master."
To be continued...