a/n i: Hey! Cap here! This is loosely based on the Buffy the Vampire Slayer episode, Halloween. The last few weeks have been tough for me both as a human being and a wrestling fan. Everyone needs a laugh.

a/n ii: Also sorry if you tried to click this a few days ago. It did some weird computer mumbo jumbo and then caylendar tried to post it and the site crashed. Anyway, it's here now, so enjoy!

a/n iii: For my best friend, caylendar, because this is somehow always all your fault. Also, thanks for editing! :)

(XXXX)

Dean Ambrose was having a normal day for once in his life. Sadly, for him, that was all about to go down the toilet.

His day had started off normal enough. He, Roman and Seth had gone to a nice restaurant for breakfast before heading to the gym. Dean had to leave his brothers once their workout was complete because the PR department had booked him for a radio interview.

He arrived at the arena a few hours later than everyone else and that was when his normal day went completely off the rails into Weirdsville.

As he entered the Shield's shared locker room, he found Roman sitting on the ground barking at the TV which had a dog food commercial playing on it.

"Rome? You feeling ok?" questioned Dean worry laced in his voice. Hopefully, the Big Dog didn't have a concussion. He remembered the one time that Roman was so concussed that he had thought Seth and Dean had turned into puppies.

As soon as Roman heard his best friend's voice, the Samoan quickly turned around and barked in joy. He pranced, yes, he freaking pranced on all fours over to Dean.

Okay… that was really weird.

"Roman, seriously, are you okay? Do I need to go get Doc?"

Before Dean knew what was going on, Roman had knocked Dean to the floor and was… licking and slobbering all over him?!

"ROMAN! STOP!"

Immediately, Roman backed off and sat with an ashamed look on his face. He looked like someone had just told him one of his beloved college football teams had lost their ranking.

"Okay, so I'm pretty sure you're concussed. How did this happen? You were fine this morning," said Dean as he ran a hand over his head, "Something must have happened between when I left you and Seth until now. Don't worry, Uce. I'm going to go find Seth and get to the bottom of this. You just stay here. Stay. That's a good Roman."

With that, Dean left their locker room in search of their other brother, who was hopefully in a more stable condition.

There was one thing Dean forgot to do when he left the locker room and that was shut the door all the way which allowed a certain Samoan to go adventure and explore the arena.

(XXX)

Dean found Seth in catering rather quickly, but unfortunately for him, the man had just rolled out actual blueprints onto a table in catering.

"Listen up, man. We're going to knock out this wall here and then make a bigger area, so people can have more space to eat, relax and enjoy their day when they come to attend a sporting event in the arena," stated Seth as he waved around a protractor and carpentry pencil.

Cautiously, Dean approached. Roman had already slobbered all over him which was weird. The last thing he needed was Seth stabbing him with a protractor.

"Seth, what are you doing?" Dean said nervously as he looked at the blueprints laid out on the table in front of them.

"Oh well, good sir, I'm doing my job as an architect and designing plans for this arena."

Dean blinked in uncertainty.

"Don't you have a match against Dolph you should be getting ready for?"

"Match? Oh no, absolutely not. I have nothing do with this show tonight. No, no, no. I would never have a profession that requires me to jump off things, I'm violently afraid of heights. Plus, that is very unsafe. Speaking of safety, where's my hard hat? Don't want that dreadful building inspector shutting down the site because of my negligence."

Out of nowhere (shut up Randall, it's not copyright infringement if it's not in the dialogue), Seth produced a hard hat and plopped it on his head, rolled up his blueprint designs and muttered something about permits before taking off out of catering.

Dean, meanwhile, was left standing there flummoxed and flabbergasted. He needed to fix this and ASAP, but first, he had to find a sane person in this building to help him.

(XXX)

Carla walked backstage confused and uncertain. Baron Corbin thought he was an actual constable and was talking in an over the top British accent. Sasha Banks was wandering around giving managerial advice like a true boss to the interns and PAs. Meanwhile, Braun Strownman was wearing a monster mask and jumping out from behind corners scaring the other talent. And her universal champion, ugh, he thought he was a freaking golden retriever!

Carla's first day as GM was going oh, so well.

"HEY!"

Carla looked up to see the Lunatic Fringe approaching her rather quickly.

"Mr. Ambrose," Carla said slowly, "Are you lucid?"

The lunatic quirked an eyebrow at the young woman, "Uh… yes? Okay, from my understanding of the 'Previously on Raw' recap that production just showed me, you are the new GM after last week's Seth Shark Cage match situation, so you need to help me.

"Roman thinks he's a dog. I have in locked in a locker room. Seth thinks he's an actual architect. All three of us have matches tonight and I need to fix this, like now…"

"Uh, you don't have Mr. Reigns locked in your locker room," responded Carla as she pointed over to where several of the PAs were throwing a stick that they had somehow miraculously found backstage.

Dean groaned and ran a hand over his face, "I must not have shut the door all the way. I thought he was concussed because he does weird things when he's concussed. I told him to stay, isn't that supposed to be a command dog's follow?"

"Wait… Roman's a dog? Corbin's a constable? Seth's an architect?" cried Carla as she snapped her fingers, "Why didn't I see this before?! Everyone is acting like their in their in-ring nickname!"

Carla then quickly turned to Dean in confusion and slightly perplexed, "But, Mr. Ambrose, why aren't you affected?"

"Kid, I'm the Lunatic Fringe, I think that entitles me a free pass from the crazy since I am slightly crazy," Dean answered while passively shrugging his shoulders, "But who would do something this?"

"Or think it's a good idea…"

Slowly, the duo turned toward each other before saying in unison, "Intern Eve."

(XXX)

They would rue the day they promoted that little PA to GM over her. She had earned them awards and alkaloids for her creative style and flair (shut up, AJ and Charlotte don't have copyrights on the words style and flair, it's fair use!). The fans loved her for capturing that escaped silverback gorilla that had been torturing the WWE Universe for ages. The women worshipped her for the creation of Sundae Slam. Sure, she might have gone overboard with the Seth Rollins shark cage match, but that was genius, GENIUS! She'd show corporate that with her schemes and creativity they'd be getting seven-star matches in no time.

She wanted, no, she craved a seven-star match. That's why she had hypnotized the talent to think they were their in-ring nickname. Of course, for some of them, it didn't work like Bayley was already a hugger, Finn didn't have one unless he brought out the demon, and ugh, that new GM, she didn't have one either. But once corporate saw this chaos, the new girl would be pushed back down the corporate ladder and sent to the boiler room to work for the Mayor of Knox County.

Intern Eve smiled in delight just imagining that girl buried alive in paperwork.

"INTERN EVE!"

The shout broke Eve from her inner villain monologue as she turned to see her now archnemesis staring her down.

"Hello child," said Intern Eve as she began walking toward Carla. Her leopard print heels clicking and clacking across the cold, cement floor in the bowels of the arena.

"You need to change the superstars back, Eve."

"Oh, I don't think so, pumpkin. You can't make me. This is my yard (Roman, stop barking, I can use your catchphrase if I want to!) and I run it, now and forever. Plus, Reigns thinking he's a big ol' golden retriever is delightful!"

At that comment, Intern Eve whistled and the Samoan came galavanting down the hallway on all fours. He nearly toppled Carla over and then sat by Intern Eve's side as she petted the top his head. Intern Eve liked having a minion. Plus Roman's hair was so soft and bouncy; she really needed to call the shampoo people and book him a commercial. However, her attention had to be turned back to that ungrateful, little PA turned GM.

"Now Roman, why don't you get the bad girl over there if you want to stay universal champion."

Instantly, Roman began to growl and stalk toward Carla.

"Mr. Reigns, I know we aren't exactly friends, but I figured we'd get there, but you know you growling at me right now isn't helping this situation."

Carla's back hit the wall and damn it, she was cornered. This was not how she envisioned her first day as GM at all. She was going to be eaten by a man who thought he was a dog. Gosh, did she really just think that sentence in her mind?

"ROMAN! Look what I got boy!"

Roman turned his head and the demeanor of the hellhound melted right off him as Dean squeaked a ball. Roman pranced over to Dean. The blonde couldn't help but chuckle as he chucked the ball as far as he could with Roman taking off after it down the hallway.

"How'd you know that would work?"

Dean gave a half-hearted shrug, "Seth makes me watch dog videos on YouTube when we travel together. I knew the squeaky toy is always the weakness of any doggo. Now come on, we're about to go live in 20 minutes and we need to wrangle this zoo."

"Oh, but Mr. Ambrose, why would you want to ruin all the fun I have created?"

Dean and Carla both jumped a foot as Intern Eve stood behind them in the darkened hallway.

"I thought you left after you sicked Roman on me? Have you seriously been here this entire time?!" questioned an annoyed Carla.

"Well, you probably would have seen me if somebody around here would pay the electric bill," muttered an annoyed Intern Eve, "You can't make me break my hypnosis over them."

A light bulb went on over Carla's head, literally, apparently, someone had paid the electric bill.

"Hypnosis! That's it!" shouted a happy Carla. Maybe she would survive this day. And as coincidence would have it, The Big Dog with his squeaky toy came barreling back into the room. Quickly, Carla approached him.

"Hey, big guy," she said and smiled, "Want me to throw that again? Yea? Okay, sit for me. That's a good universal champion."

With that, Carla snapped her fingers.

"NO!" screamed Intern Eve. She knew she should have gone with a more thought out prompt to break the hypnosis then someone snapping their fingers. However, before that PA or Ambrose noticed Intern Eve faded off into the shadows once again.

Roman stared at Carla and Dean blankly before spitting out the dog chew toy from his mouth.

"WHAT THE HECK IS GOING ON?!"

"Not now Mr. Reigns, we have to snap everyone out of their hypnosis, come on, we'll explain on the way!" said Carla as she took off running down the hallway.

Under his breath, as he ran off following Carla and Roman, Dean mumbled, "Intern Eve is really that cliche?"

(XXX)

"You do realize that what you are describing is a contractor and not an Architect, right?"

"He already promised me I'd save a few bucks on the tile for my fireplace if I order through him."

"Dean, he's not a real Architect!"

"Then why did he give me this flyer with all the tile options I could choose from?"

Carla sighed as she stood next to Seth, who was trying to see if there were any support beams in a wall he was trying to make into a door. For some reason, he thought a door would be beneficial right there.

Since Ambrose and Reigns were still bickering and she needed Seth Rollins, THE MAN and not THE ARCHITECT, for her main event, she snapped her fingers.

Seth blinked repeatedly in awe before turning to see Carla next to him. He saw a protractor and carpentry pencils in his hand. Seth opened and closed his mouth unsure if he wanted to ask any questions about his current predicament.

"Intern Eve" muttered Carla providing the explanation that Seth hadn't asked for. "She hypnotized most of the roster to think you were your in-ring nicknames. Roman thought he was a dog. You thought you were an architect. Baron thought he was an actual constable. Thankfully, Dean and I stopped her before it got too out of hand. And well, here we are."

"How'd you stop her?"

"In the most cliched way possible, of course."

"You just snapped your fingers didn't you?"

"Yup."

"Huh, alright then. So I guess I owe you again."

Carla chuckled as she walked off toward her office, "That you do, Seth, that you do."

(XXXX)

a/n iii: So this requires some explaining. A few weeks back, I had a raccoon break into my office, yes seriously. I joked with caylendar that this was Intern Eve level shenanigans and actually joked I should write a fanfic about Intern Eve having a pet raccoon. Originally, the raccoon was supposed to be the one who hypnotized everyone, but I eventually decided to write that part out and just have Intern Eve be her usual zany scheming self. Happy belated Halloween!