Alex couldn't remember the last time he saw John in a suit. He was almost always in a pair of jeans with t-shirt displaying the logo of some band Alex had never heard of. But today, November 9th, a day that had previously never had any significance, John was wearing a suit. In fact, all of his friends were wearing suits. He tugged at the collar of his own and thought that the temperature must have been rising outside, even though it was a crisp, fall afternoon.

He stared at the grass, as he stood next to his cousin and the priest on one side of the giant hole in the ground. Basically everyone he or his mother was ever close to since they came to America was on the other side, but he didn't look up to meet their eyes. His mother would have. She would have been a heck of a lot stronger than he was being at that moment. But, it didn't matter. His mother was dead and he wasn't, and Alex had to stand there and watch her be lowered into the once empty hole.

When they came to America, Alex and his mother were looking for a better life. Life was good for a while; they had struggles with money but nothing too major that they couldn't get through together. Alex made friends quickly, his mother found a job and suddenly everything seemed infinitely hopeful. He got good grades and did everything he could to impress his loving mother who had worked so hard to get them to where they were. He got in a few fights at school, which she was never happy about, but she knew that was just who he was, a boy who fought for what he believed in.

Then, Alex was diagnosed with cancer. Nothing too serious, but it was cancer all the same. He needed an operation, and quickly, and then it would all be over. The looming cloud over he and his mother's head would be gone. Two weeks before the surgery, Alex's mother was diagnosed with a much more severe cancer then Alex had obtained. The doctor said that without surgery, she would never make it and even then the chances were slim. They didn't have a lot of money, so they couldn't pay for two surgeries and his mom was not about to go asking people for money. She had too much pride for that. The insurance company wouldn't help pay for two surgieries, no matter how many times Alex asked over the phone. Eventually, he tried to make his mother use the money on herself. Mine isn't severe, he argued, and it hasn't spread, but yours has. We can pay for mine later. Being the selfless woman that she was, his mother didn't even think about taking the surgery from her son. She forced him to go to the hospital where he was operated on and eventually cleared.

For months, things seemed normal. His mother had headaches every once in a while but nothing that was too difficult to handle. Eventually, Alex thought that the doctors were wrong; that his mom was a fighter and that she would pull through. Then, without any warning, her condition became worse. Instead of hanging out with his friends after school, he made daily trips to the hospital. His friends would try to accompany him, but most of the time he just wanted to be alone with his Mom. They understood and backed off, but they missed his company. When she died, Alex made no attempt to contact anyone. He constantly felt like it was his fault, like he could have done more to help, that he should have made her have the operation instead of him. The day of the funeral was the first time he had seen anyone remotely familiar in days. Laurens, Mulligan, and Lafayette sent text after text but received nothing in return. It seemed their Alex just needed some time to be alone.

The day before the funeral was the wake, which meant Alex had to stand in line and hug sad people that he didn't know for hours on end. He had been crying a lot, but for some reason on that day not a single tear fell. He hoped it was because he was 'all cried out' so to speak, but when he went home later that night and completely lost it, he knew that wasn't true. Nothing was comfortable anymore, even his own bed, though he had trouble getting out of it in the morning. He would often wake up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat with a panging feeling of wanting John to be there next to him, holding him. There was nothing stopping John and Alex being together except for the prejudice and judgement of their peers and Alex's own fears. John feared that the death of Alex's mother would drive him even farther from him and that was the exact opposite from what he wanted.

Alex's cousin, James, had been staying with Alex for a few days, but they had planned to move into James's house the day after the funeral. Alex wasn't necessarily happy about the move because James was often cold to him; they weren't exactly the best of friends. But, he was the only family Alex had left and by taking Alex in, that meant he wouldn't be put into the system. For that, Alex would be forever grateful. Besides, his house smelled like his Mom. He would need to move on one day, and that couldn't happen when every time he went home he was reminded of her.

Lafayette was watching Alex from afar. He hadn't looked up from staring a single blade of grass in minutes. All he wanted to do was run over to the boy and envelope him in an embrace. Instead, he squeezed Herc's hand and watched their friend suffer. Hercules was relieved at the comfort of Lafayette's hand. He had been waiting for him to make the first move, as he was not as forward as Laf tended to be. None of them knew Alex's mom very well, but she was the only family he really had besides his cousin. Their little Alex had been through so much, and yet he still had to stand there and watch his mother be lowered into her own grave. It certainly wasn't fair, but then again, when was life ever fair for their little quartet?

After the pastor finished mindlessly droning on and on about something Alex didn't give a shit about or believe, the people around him started to clear out, making their way to their cars to head home. Alex, on the other hand, stood in the same place staring at the same blade of grass a foot away. With one look, Lafayette, John, and Herc all made a silent agreement to stick around, even when everyone else had gone.

"You comin' runt?" James asked, realizing that he had almost forgotten his new responsibility at the gravesite.

When Alex didn't respond, Lafayette quickly interjected, "I'll take him home, James. No problem." With a quick nod, James left the spot and soon everyone else had scattered away, leaving the four of them with some time to themselves. They stood in a line and fixed their gaze on the headstone. It read, 'Rachel Hamilton; 1980-2016'. Alex had wanted to put more on it, but that was all they could afford. He didn't think it did her justice. She had saved his life, after all.

The wind picked up a bit and John grabbed Alex's hand protectively and he didn't even flinch. "She liked the fall," Alex whispered, his chin angling toward the ground and his eyebrows knitted together in thought. John looked over to him, his eyes locking on Alex's though his own were focused on the grave itself. Laf and Herc shared a small glance before focusing their attention on Alex as well. It was the first time they had heard him speak in days.

Wanting him to continue, John questioned, "She did?"

With quite a bit of force, Alex let go of John's hand and ran over to a nearby tree where he grabbed a pile of leaves and brought them to the gravestone, crying out, "We didn't have fall in Nevis. She liked the color of the leaves, the smell of the rain on the pavement in the city, and the cold bite of the air. It's so damn cold here all the time," Suddenly, the world was lost on him. He couldn't bare the weight anymore, so he fell to his knees and cried into the leaves, "But she's gone. She's gone!" The other three teens ran over to him, allowing John to grab hold of Alex and try to bring him back to reality.

"Shh…" John whispered, holding the boy tight. "It's going to be okay, I've got you." Alex turned to face John, his limbs shaking and eyes red from crying. He then fell deeper into John's chest, allowing the boy to sit there and hold him as if he were a small child once more. Laf and Herc sat on the ground nearby, holding onto eachother's hands as they watched their friend's world fall apart.

She's gone, Alex kept thinking over and over. He hated that he needed to be comforted, that he was falling apart into John. But still, he couldn't stop. He kept shaking in response to his sobs, but John held him as tight as he possibly could without hurting him. "It's okay, Alex. It'll all be okay."

"Runt, you made it home. Thought you'd stay there forever," James said from his chair in the family room when Alex entered the house late that night.

"I'm going to bed," he replied sternly, not feeling in the mood to have a long discussion with James. He started to make his way to the stairs, but James immeadiatley sprang up from his seat and placed a hand on Alex's shoulder.

"Alex, wait." Alex shrugged him off, but James was having none of that. "Let me help you." His hands lingered on Alex's chest. Alex had received more help that day than he ever wanted to need in his life, so once again he shrugged his cousin off.

"I don't need your help. I was fine on my own before and I'll be fine now," Alex stated. Sure, with his mother he was never really alone, but his mom worked all the time, causing him to be more independent than most people his age. If he had it his way, he wouldn't even be living with his cousin. He would find a way to live on his own. Unfortunately, the system wouldn't allow for it and Alex was not about to go live in some random foster home.

His mother hated when he was curt to her like he just was to James. But, unlike James did on that day, his Mom would never have hit him. As soon as Alex argued with him, James took a nice swing at Alex's face. Immediately, Alex crumpled into himself and held onto his sore cheek. Completely dumbstruck, Alex said nothing but let out a loud cry. "I suggest you don't talk back," James growled into his ear.

In a moment, Alex gained the courage to stand up straight but did not dare look the man in the eye. He would have tried to fight back, but he was in no mental state to do so. Besides, his mother hated whe he fought and on the day of her funeral seemed like the worst possible day to do so. He wanted John.

"Alex, do you want to stay down here and hang out for awhile?" James then asked in the most sugary sweet voice Alex had ever heard. It fooled Alex into thinking that his smack in the face had been a one-time thing.

Alex began to shake his head. "I'm really tired, I think I'm going to-" Alex was cut off by a quick jab to the eye. This time, Alex lost his balance and stepped backward, falling completely on his ass. His face was throbbing as he curled up in pain. He had never felt that much physical pain in his life.

"I also suggest you do what I say, little runt. We're going to have lots of fun."

The next morning, Alex made the decision to go to school. As he stared at his reflection in the mirror, a million thoughts ran through his mind. His black eye was incredibly noticeable and he knew that his friends would be asking questions that he didn't have an answer for. He wasn't about to tell them the truth. If he told anyone the truth, child protective services would get involved and he would be moved into a foster home. Every kid that he knew that went through the system came out even more screwed up than before.

Alex shook the thoughts from his brain. He wouldn't be put into a home; he wouldn't let that happen. Realizing that he had no concievable way of covering up the marks on his eye, Alex decided to just tell his friends he got hit in the face with a door and leave it at that. He tried to tell himself it didn't hurt that much, but yet when he pulled his sweatshirt he still flinched at the fabric grazing his skin. With every flash of pain he could see James's face, and that hell hurt more than the actual pain ever would. Alex shut his eyes, trying to push the images away. He tried to do a stupid breathing technique to calm himself down that Laf had taught him a while ago, but he knew that he deserved the pain that James inflicted on him. The breathing didn't make it hurt any less. Alex was a messed up kid, and he knew he deserved every punch. Screwed up kids didn't get kissed, they got kicked, and Alex thought he was more screwed up than anyone he had ever met.

As if on cue, Alex's phone buzzed in his pocket with a text from John Laurens. He smiled as he read the words, I miss you, and I can't wait to see you today. John knew that the little piece of courage he sent Alex's way would hopefully be enough to drive Alex out of bed. As always, John was right. After reading the message, Alex was out the door with his backpack slung over his shoulder being careful as to not be too loud and wake up James. He already had to explain one black eye and certainly was not prepared to explain two. As he walked along the sidewalk on the way to school, he tried not to notice the color of the leaves or the crispness of the air. When he was on school grounds, he tried not to notice the stares from the kids around him or the sad, empathatic glances they were all throwing at him. When he was finally in front of his friends, he tried not to notice the piercing blue of John's eyes, but that morning it was all that he could let himself fall into.

"Oh, mon petit lion, thank goodness you're back. Jefferson has completely taken over the council with you absent and Angelica out sick. We need you mon ami," Laf rambled. After taking a breath and a good look at Alex he asked, "Little Alex, what happened to your face?"

"Slow down, Laf, give the boy some room," Herc laughed. "But yeah, Alex, what'd you do to your eye?"

"A door hit me, that's all," Alex muttered, shuffling his hands. John shot him a concerned look of disbelief. Alex chose to ignore him. "So what'd I miss while I was gone?" He asked, quickly trying to change the subject. It was clear that John was going to speak with him about the eye again later, though.

Laf gave Herc a quick glance, and Herc nodded. They had always been able to have silent conversations and it annoyed the crap out of he and John. "Laf and I are together now. Sorry, we couldn't wait until you got back to make it official," Herc beamed.

John nudged Alex and smirked at him. "See? We knew it would happen eventually. They've been as happy as can be ever since. But, it's given them a reason to act more and more like my parents. I'm sure they'll do it to you too."

"And a reason for the whole school to hate us even more!" Lafayette joked. "Ah, but who cares!" He then dramatically placed a huge kiss onto Herc's cheek, who just continued to smile widely. Laf wasn't joking whatsoever when he said that the school hated their little group. They weren't 'normal' like everyone else and their schoolmates tended to rip apart those who weren't 'normal'. The Schuyler sisters were the only ones who were ever all that kind to them even though one of them was dating the biggest bully in the school, but it didn't really matter because they had each other and that was all they needed anyway.

"Queer!" A voice called out from behind the boys. "Oh, and a shiner! Damn Hamilton, you really know how to clean up!" The voice came from none other than Sam Seabury, who John physically had to hold Alex back from fighting on a daily basis. "Don't step too close to me, the gay might rub off and I'm not willing to catch the sickeness that you've got."

"Crios-me, I do not want to step any closer to you, Seabury," Laf rebounded. Seabury had a confused look on his face. He wasn't exactly the brightest of the bunch, Alex noted. It didn't matter that his mother had just died; Seabury was always ready to attack Alex or any of his friends.

"I suggest you step away from us, Sam," John said with an edge to his voice.

Alex placed a hand on John's shoulder and quietly said, "John, not today." John took a step back from the shocked group of boys in front of them, led by Seabury.

"What's the matter Hamilton? Have you gone soft? Or did whoever got a good punch to your face knock some sense into you?" Seabury rebutted. John still stood back, but grabbed a hold of Alex's so that he wouldn't do anything rash. For some reason Alex didn't want John to be physical that day, so John held himself back. Seabury took even more delight at the fact the boys weren't responding and were holding one another's hand. "Oh it is a sickness! It spread from the stupid french kid and his boyfriend to these two idiots!"

John's face turned an embarrassing shade of red as he let go of Alex's hand. John was out and proud, but Alex had never made any real comments about his sexuality. He should have known better than to make a move in front of the worst bigots in the whole school. Alex wasn't embarrassed, however, he was just angry. He didn't understand how someone could be so hateful towards John. He didn't deserve any of this. He tried to push down his bubbling anger, but when it got like this, Alex knew it would only be a second before he exploded.

"I suggest you watch your mouth," Alex grumbled, looking to the floor. He wanted to wipe that smug smile off of Seabury's face.

"Fag-"

One syllable was all Alex needed to berserk. He took a good swing at Seabury's face, who then staggered back a bit but quickly was able to regain his balance. Not expecting a quick response, Alex was not at all prepared when Seabury swung right back where it really hurt, on the side of Alex's face that had already been hit. Immeadiately, Alex fell to the ground and became unconcious due to the pain. John rushed to his side while Herc and Laf dealt with Seabury.

"Haven't you done enough Seabury?" Herc yelled. "His mother died last week! Can't you just leave us alone for once?" Seabury grimaced, then spat in their general direction before walking off with his goons.

"Au Revior!" Laf sarcastically said giving the boys a little goodbye wave. Then, everyone's attention was on Alex. Even though John kept stroking his face and calling out his name, it was clear that Alex was completely knocked out. John's eyes were incredibly frantic, he was so scared for his friend.

"He must have been in so much pain before if one hit could knock him out like this," John said, completely exasperated while still hovering over Alex's body.

Hercules, realizing that somebody needed to take control of the situation, stated, "We've gotta get him to the nurse. Laf, why don't you carry him?" Laf nodded and went over to him, but John placed out a hand to stop him from coming closer to the boy lying on the floor.

"No, I've got him. I've always got him," John said protectively. He then picked the boy up bridal style and walked him to the nurse's office. Alex was incredibly small, so carrying him was no problem. In fact, it almost seemed easier to carry him that day, like he was losing weight. For a split second, John was worried that Alex hadn't been eating. He made a mental note to address that when he was feeling better. Herc stood in front of them, clearing the hallway of students because it was obvious that John wasn't watching where he was going, he was watching Alexander.

By the time they reached the nurse's office, Alex was still unconcious. She motioned for John to place Alex down on one of the beds, but he was very apprehensive to do so. At the nurse's demand, he finally let him go. "Mon petit lion here already had a black eye and then was hit again on the same eye by a boy in the school yard," Laf explained.

"He's in so much pain, you gotta do something!" John moaned. He was crouching by Alex's side with his hand in his, waiting for some sort of response.

The nurse went over to the mini fridge and reached for an ice pack. Placing it on Alex's eye, she explained, "Other than this, there's not much I can do. He'll wake up in a minute. Pain has a different effect on everyone." Then, she allowed the four boys to be alone while she tended to some paperwork in her office. This was not the first time she had had to deal with Alexander Hamilton and his crew. Herc gave the nurse a nod and a silent thank you.

Suddenly, Alex began to murmur a few inaudible words. John's face completely lit up. After a moment, they could finally make out what he was saying. "John, John, it hurts."

"I'm right here, Alex, I'm right here," John whispered. At the sound of John's voice, Alex's eyes fluttered but then he immeadiately cried out in pain at the movement of his injured eye.

"Little Alex, don't try to open your left eye. It will only make it hurt more. John, keep the ice on it, oui?" Laf ordered with a strange bit of urgency that you wouldn't expect from the French boy. Laf was known to be flamboyant and sort of a free agent. He wasn't exactly the 'take charge' type; he had Herc to do that for him. But, with John a total mess and Alex basically unconcious, it was clear they needed two sane minds in the room and Laf was not afraid to be in control if he had Herc by his side.

John held the ice to Alex's face as gently as possible. "Can you sit up?" He questioned, coaxing Alex with the sweetness of his words and voice. Alex gave John a slow nod with his eyes still closed and carefully put himself to the seated position. Then, he ventured into opening his uninjured eye and holding the ice pack for himself.

Hearing that Alex was awake, the nurse came back into the room, looked Alex up and down and offered, "I suggest you go home Alex. Too much movement and you might pass out again."

Alex's eyes widened out of fear. "No! I mean, uh, no I can't go home. My cousin isn't home and he doesn't like it when I'm there alone." Laf, Herc, and John all looked at each other with confused faces. This was the first they had heard of James's supposed rules.

"You know, I feel like I'm starting to come down with something. What about you Herc?" Laf said, letting out a weak cough. Hercules realized what he was doing and then immediately did the same, kicking John to do so also.

Almost in unison, the two boys weakly said, "Yeah, me too." The nurse raised an eyebrow, but then decided to let it slide. She knew about Alex's mother, and it was clear the boys were just trying to be there for him.

"Well, I guess I'll just have to send you all home then." Alex smiled.

"We'll take him to my house, he can rest there. Thank you so much," John said. The nurse gave them a little wave before they all made ther way out of the building to Herc's car. Laf took his rightful place next to Hercules, who was in the driver's seat, while John sat next to Alex in the back in order to keep an eye on him. Alex seemed to be perking up, especially because John refused to let him fall back asleep. Alex was just happy to be safe and with his friends. For the first time in weeks, he didn't feel as if he was close to tears. John was right beside him, like he was supposed to be.