Author's Note: Jess/Sam is one of my favorite things to write about. I always believed Jess was more aware of Sam's past then he liked to believe so this is just an exploration of what could've been.


"Love is all that I can give to you

Love is more than just a game for two."

Nat King Cole, "L-O-V-E"


Jessica Moore is not an idiot.

She's been going on two years with Sam. They live together in a cramped apartment that they are somehow able to afford. Theirs is a relationship of give and take. Certain topics are forbidden—his family, her hellish years in high school—and together, hand in hand, they navigate this relationship carefully. Sam has secrets hidden behind those hazel eyes that she fell in love with. She accepts this and knows that everyone has secrets—Lord knows she does—but the one thing she cannot accept is lying.

She's done the whole song and dance with a lying boyfriend before. It led to her finding her douche of an ex in their bed with some brunette he picked up at a bar across town. That night, as her heart shattered into a thousand pieces, and she learned to give up on notions of true love conquering all, she swore she would never tolerate another lying boy again.

Enter Sam Winchester. Dreamy, tall, shy and just plain polite. She actually had to go after him since he was much too shy to approach her. Their first date had been when she bought him a frozen yogurt and stolen one of his textbooks and threatened to pour said frozen yogurt on said textbook unless he got out of the library and got some air with her. A little drastic, maybe, but it had worked. Now she and Sam were inseparable. She really thought he was the one if such a concept existed.

Except now he was lying to her. And not even good lies, but bad lies—ones that she can see through in an instant.

She's noticed the odd books that have slowly taken over their apartment. A book about some sort of medieval monster here. Latin texts there. They're for school, he tells her, but she knows his schedule and pre-law has nothing to do with monsters. His laptop now has a password on it, which is something that he's never had before. I just want to make sure everything stays secure. I'll give you the password soon. He stays up, flipping through pages of these weird, old, faded books and he's still awake when she gets up the next morning. He sleeps on the couch now. I don't want to keep you up, babe.

But the worst part is the phone calls that come in the dead of the night. His ringtone will pierce the silence and wake her. She'll head downstairs to check on Sam, but just when she's about to ask him who is on the phone, he goes outside to take the call.

He's never done that before either.

She likes to think of herself as an understanding girlfriend. She is not one of those girls who hover, who watches her boyfriend's every move. She isn't clingy, but she does know her worth. She doesn't deserve to be lied to. Whatever is going on, she deserves to be told the truth.

So, Jessica forces herself to take a deep breath and when they are eating breakfast a week after the weird behavior starts, she asks him, "Sam, what's going on?"

He hesitates before taking a bite of his cereal, "Nothing, Jess."

He's lying. She knows it. He's never lied to her before and she'll be damned if she lets this go.

"Sam, you can tell me." She tries not to let the panic bleed into her tone. "I mean, first the books, and then the phone calls and the password on the computer—"

"It doesn't concern you, Jess, okay?" He snaps, voice venomous and she recoils from the force of it.

He's never talked to her that way before either.

Immediately, Sam's expression grows sorrowful and he reaches for her, "Jess, I'm sorry, baby, just—"

But Jess has already grabbed her purse and she is gone, gone, gone.


"Well," Lauren, her old roommate, bites her ruby red lip nervously, "It seems obvious, Jess. He's cheating on you." She grips Jess' hand within her own, trying to offer her some support, but Jess doesn't want to hear it. Her heart is slowly, painfully, tearing in half and she knows this time it's over, she's not going to survive this heartbreak.

"I know," Jess whispers and she presses clammy hands against her flushed cheeks and tries to breathe as the room spins around her, "I know, I just can't believe it."

"Sam seemed like such a good guy too." Lauren laments softly. "Look, you want me to talk to him? Or Brady? I'm sure we can get to the bottom of this—"

"No," Jess interrupts softly, resolving to take control of the situation, "No, I'll talk to him."

As Lauren holds open the door for her, her old roommate whispers, "Call if you need me. Be strong."

Jess just forces a tight smile on her lips and she begins to head home.

It's time to end this.


Sam isn't home when she returns. He hasn't called her either.

Jess scoffs, chiding herself for even believing that this would work out. She'd been a fool to fall for him. She'd been an idiot for trusting him. People only hurt others, she knew that, but allowed herself to hope and now look at her. Her life is once again in shambles and now she has to rebuild it. Maybe she'll get a dog. At least she won't be lonely that way and dogs listen.

A dog wouldn't lie to her.

Her mind made up, she moves towards their closet. Carefully, she starts pulling out her clothes and folding them on the bed. She needs to leave. Lauren will let her stay the night and tomorrow, she'll call her mom and figure out her next move. Maybe she could come home for the week and just get her head on straight. She just needs to get away from here, from Sam, from those hazel eyes that made her feel like she was the only person who mattered in this vast universe.

Her hand hovers over a duffel bag she doesn't recognize. She's never seen it before and it's clear from the dirt caked on it and tears in the fabric that it's seen better days. Still, curiosity gets the better of her and she pulls it out. Maybe this will let her know who the other woman is. Unzipping it, she's prepared to find a bra or a pair of panties that the other woman left behind.

She finds bloody clothes instead.

"Oh my God." Jess breathes as she jerks back from the bag. A pair of jeans and one of Sam's plaid shirts is absolutely caked in dried blood. More blood than could be explained away by an injury. This amount of the blood meant someone died.

This amount of blood must mean that Sam must've—

"Shit." She whispers, unable to scream.

She can't breathe or think. She needs to get out of here.

The door shuts downstairs and a soft voice calls, "Jess?"

She's dating a murderer, a voice screams in her mind and before she can react, Sam is there, seeing her with the clothes and he moving towards her, explaining, "Jess, wait, just let me tell you, it's not what you—"

It's not what she thinks, her boyfriend is a murderer, but it's not what she thinks, her mind chuckles darkly.

"We're done!" She screams instead because she thought she could handle his secrets, but she can't. They've been together too long now. She deserves the truth and if he would tell her his traumas, she could tell him hers, but he won't and it's too late anyways.

"Jess!" He reaches for her, but she jerks away. She leaves the clothes behind—Lauren can get them later—and sprints away, leaving everything she thought she knew behind.

It's time to make a new life, one without Sam Winchester.

But inside, her heart just shatters and tears stream down her face.

Jessica Moore is broken.


Two weeks later, she's back after a trip home, her head on straight. She's done with Sam. She's done with dating in general. Being a crazy cat lady sounds appealing to her.

Lauren greets her at baggage claim, though her face is grim.

"What?" Jess questions.

"Has Sam talked to you?" She asks and Jess shakes her head. He left a few voicemails right when she left, but she never called him back.

"Is something wrong?" And against her better judgment, a wave of worry rises up within her.

"He's missing." Lauren mutters. "Jess, he's been missing for the past week."


She goes back to the old apartment because she doesn't know where else to go.

All her anger dissipated the moment Lauren told her the news. Now, all she feels is grief. She wants to see Sam, to confront him, to hug him, to kiss him, to get some answers. She shouldn't have run away that night. She should've stayed to listen to him. Now, Sam might be dead and it's all her—

The door opens Jess' breath catches.

Sam Winchester stumbles in, bruised, bandaged and a bit bloody, but alive.

He blinks at her, like she's the last person he expected to see, "Jess?"

Crying, she hugs him.

Tomorrow, when her emotions are in check, she'll want the truth. She deserves it, after all. If they really are in this for the long haul, there can be no more secrets between them. No more lies. Just hard, painful truths and unconditional support.

"I'm okay," Sam rubs comforting circles on her back, "I'm sorry, Jess, I'm so fucking sorry. I want to tell you everything, it's just hard for me. I've never . . . I've never let anyone in before."

"I haven't either," She confesses softly. "Tomorrow, let's talk."

"Yeah."

And holding each other, Jessica Moore believes that maybe, just maybe, she can get her happy ending after all.


Author's Note: I might do a follow up piece with Sam's point of view, but for now this is complete. I hope you enjoyed it! Writing Jess is always a fun change from my usual fare. Please review if you have a moment. Thanks!