One-shot based on something I saw on Tumblr that made me laugh- Tumblr user charming-mocha, I believe :P

I own nothing except my OCs.

"Ugh, running."

"You're one of the fastest, you could do this in seconds." Joe shook his head at his small, curly-haired friend. Charlie wrinkled his nose. "Why do you hang back?"

"I can't run to Katy Perry." Charlie gestured at the speakers around the hall of the indoor running track. At Joe's bemused look, Charlie crossed his arms and pouted. "Well, I'm sorry, but Hot 'n' Cold doesn't make me want to run, it makes me want to cry. She literally bullied that dude into marrying her."

"It's not real."

"Still."

"So, what would you run to?" Charlie shrugged his shoulders. Joe simply shook his head and dragged the elfish boy to the starting line. The other boys of their grade were already there, stretching and warming up. Kevin glared at them, mouth opening to make a quip undoubtedly. Coach blew the whistle, drawing their attention to the front. Except for Charlie, obviously, he was bouncing and spinning while he did so, turning over seven-twenty degrees. He stopped as another, sharper whistle that bounced just as much as Charlie did, so it seemed like thirty whistles going one after the other.

"You are one strange cupcake."

"You love me really, Hedge."

"Now, I've heard that before." Coach grumbled. Charlie shone an impish grin and the old, disguised satyr muttered some more. Second generation Valdezs were just as annoying as their predecessors. "Right!" He bellowed, thirty Coaches yelling back. "Four laps around the track- ah, shut up, you bunch of pansies. Pace yourself. And, Valdez, I swear, I will batter you if you pull another prank."

"What? Me? Pranking?" Charlie blinked, baffled, the perfect picture of innocence.

"You're giving Chuck ideas, I don't like it."

"Ah, I love Chuck!"

"Who's Chuck?" Steve quizzed.

"My boy. Enough chit chat!" The boys fell silent. Kevin and his friends lined up, ready to start. Charlie bounced some more and then stilled. His head dropped backwards and he wailed childishly. "Holy muffins, what now?" Coach glowered.

"Please put good songs on!"

"Any suggestions?"

"Not Katy Perry!"

"Fine." Coach stomped to the stereo, snatching up the small stack of CDs he had. He shuffled through them, muttering obscenities about Valdezs. He found one, put it in and stomped back. He did a lot of stomping. Charlie just hoped his fake feet didn't come off. "Right." He said gruffly. "Anything else? Shut it, Valdez. Ready!" Coach prompted, putting his whistle to his lips. "Set!" He called around it. Sharp, shrill echoes signalled go and they set off. Kevin raced off, determined to win. Charlie and Joe started at their own steady pace. This was how they ran all races they were in.

Then the music kicked in and Charlie flipped out. Joe had to stop, less than forty metres from the beginning, killing himself laughing. Charlie, being Charlie, sprinted straight past the others, singing at the top of his lungs- what that boy would do for Fall Out Boy.

He was still going strong two laps in. Joe had excused himself, much more interested in watching his friend completely lose the plot. Coach didn't even tell him off, mystified. Charlie was neck and neck with Kevin, still singing- "Let the leaves fall off in the summer/ And let December glow in flames!"- some of the other classmates were stopping to watch as well.

"He's mad." Coach murmured to himself. "How is he doing this?"

"Have you ever known Charlie to run out of energy?"

"Fair point."

Kevin, red in the face and turning blue, cursed and tried running faster. Charlie overtook in seconds, "I don't care what you think as long as it's about me!" Kevin fell back, doubling over and drawing in deep, ragged breaths. "The best of us can find happiness in mi-i-i-i-i-iserrryyyy!"

He nearly made the fourth lap. He stopped for two reasons- firstly, he noticed everyone else had stopped and was watching him. Secondly, he tripped over his own feet. Fall Out Boy stopped. Charlie's energy seemed to spatter- not ran out, just spatter- and he realised how much of a stitch he had. Joe made his way over, gently nudging Charlie in the side until he was lying on his back and staring up at the ceiling.

"You're not even human."

"I'm the walking dead." He wheezed. "Why... did... you... let me... run?"

"I couldn't do anything!" Joe protested with a laugh. "One second you were there and the next you were miles ahead!" Charlie blew a raspberry, gasping for breath. "I've learnt one thing from this though." The impish boy raised a brow. "If I want you to do anything, I need to play Fall Out Boy."

"I'm going to die."

"It's your own fault." Coach appeared next to Joe.

"I thought Leo was a weird one."

"Yeah, but look at his mom too." Joe pointed out.

"True." Coach nodded. Charlie groaned and rolled onto his side, shakily pushing himself up. "You OK, cupcake?"

"I could do with one of them. Cupcake. Maybe a dozen." He swayed, stumbling on his feet. "Dozen hundred." He mumbled as Joe and Coach gripped his elbows.

"Take him to the canteen. Get his blood sugars back up. And call his parents. You there," Coach jabbed a finger at Steve, throwing out his arm. Steve startled, juggling his phone from hand to hand, catching it in his fingertips. "Get that on YouTube and send me a copy."

"Yes sir."