A Briefs Intervention
by Harlequin Whiskers
SUMMARY: Bulma desperately wants a grandchild to spoil and pamper, but in order to get her little legacy, she must convince either Trunks or Bra to settle down and start with the baby making! There are a few problems though… Bra is in the height of her career and Trunks…well…He's just Trunks: the 39 year old, permanent bachelor. I mean, the only woman he hasn't turned down or run off is his best friend Pan … Wait! PAN!
AN: Hello T/P Lovers! This is actually the first fic I ever wrote. I started it many moons ago under a forgotten name, but recently took it out of the cupboards and gave it a good spit shine! It's been through major edits, as well as a few pop-culture reference revamps, but hopefully maintains its original charm. Enjoy and feel free to comment! Flamers welcome, too!
Do we still have to say we don't own DBZ? I feel like that's a given by now…
Prologue
The atmosphere was fabulous. The exquisite ballroom lobby of the new Capsule Corp Hotel was humming with decorative jazz music and the whispered laughing of Bulma's nearest and dearest investors… I mean friends. Everything was going as planned. No drunken accidents or shattered ice sculptors. Not a word mumbled about training or fighting or tournaments. It was refreshing. And a tad bit boring.
Bulma tipped her glass and chuckled as Mrs. Wasserman-Schultz said something this cluster of shareholders found quite droll. Hopefully she wasn't accidentally laughing at yet another border-line racist joke. She realized then, this whole night, she'd been sleeping with her eyes open, all the while smiling and 'smizing' to invisible acquaintances across the room, and nodding her head in conversation while systematically sipping her bitter cocktail.
She jumped awake as, out of the corner of her eye, a little pink ball of gossamer and lace zipped past her vision across the room. She watched it dart and weave with exuberance through peoples conversations, just like she wish she could. She smiled, spotting it again zipping through a man's legs and ducking under the desert table, finally making it's escape through the gardens outside. Finally something caught her interest! Now delightfully preoccupied, she excused herself from the tedious chatter,
"Well that is unbelievable Debbie! Excuse me," with that Bulma left the circle of boredom to follow the blur, hoping she had ended the conversation with some idiom that made sense.
She rounded the corner to see the blur standing on the side of the fountain praying to the penny she held in her little chubby hands. A tear welled up in the back of Bulma's eyes as she witness the adorable site. The most beautiful little pink-haired girl had her eyes squeezed shut in concentration, clutching her coin so hard to her chin you could see her arms shake. Seeing her diligently whispering to the coin, Bulma stepped closer, curious as to what one so care-free would possibly need to wish for. Just as she got close to the lip of the fountain, the cherub threw her arms out and opened her bright blue smiling eyes to the sky in a proud, "TA DA!" as the coin "thwopt" into the water. Breathing heavy and smiling, she swiveled her head to the side and chortled, seeing the blue hair lady above her.
"What did you wish for?" Bulma spoke up as the pink clad porcelain doll panted.
" I wisheded that Grandmommy Harvey would let me keep the kitty cat I found. It's white and it has whiskers and a little pink nose."
Bulma fell in love. Unconsciously, she reached through her clutch for a coin of her own.
"That was a good wish. How old are you?" She was interrupted by the clicking of thick heels and a deep matronly voice,
"She's 4. Hi! So sorry! Now Dessera, what did I tell you about running away?"
She lowered her head, "You said that I shouldn't leave you and papa's side so that people won't take me away."
"That's…frightening…" Bulma's mind interrupted.
"We just worry about ya cause we love you so much. Ha-ha, now go back to papa."
"Yes ma'am." she started to prance back to the ballroom and turned around to Bulma, "Nice to meet you Miss blue haired lady. Please don't tell my wish or it won't come true! Bye!"
With that, she was gone.
" Haha, I'm so sorry, Bulma. I wasn't going to bring her here but when I said the word 'ballroom' she thought she could be Cinderella and just had to come."
"No no! Bring her around more! I miss having kids around. It's been years since we've had little things running around the house! I wish I could have a baby doll to spoil!"Bulma had a crazy glazed over look in her eyes.
"Well, they are a blessing. I mean, just look at me! They keep you young!"
Now Bulma knew it was probably the Botox and chemical peel treatments that kept the woman youthful but listened as she showed hundreds of her grandchildren's pictures on her phone.
"What about your children? They're old enough to be married and have families by now I'm sure!"
Bulma felt her jaw clench a little. Partially because this was a conversation she wish she could have, but mostly because of her fierce protection and pride for her children, "Well, since the release of her award-winning book based on her fashion and life-style blog, Bra's just been sooo busy in the industry. Not to mention all of the modeling and brand-advertising she still manages to squeeze in. There's no way she would let all that go for pregnancy."
"Well what about your son? He's on up there…"
Bulma gave a nervous chuckle, "With work and running the-"
"And such a... nice looking young man! Surely women are just lining up for him?"
"Well, how can I describe Trunks.. He's.." Bulma paused, formulating her words,when, at that very moment across the ballroom, a live demonstration was offered to them with a,
"SLAP! I can't believe you asshole! You stood me up last night! You are so.."
"I didn't stand you up! I swear, I just forgot! My friend was supposed to remind m.."
"Your friend shouldn't have to remind you! And what about tonight huh? NOT going to be here, my ASS! Uh! Whatever, I'm gone!" She turned in her prada heels and clicked away. Trunks begrudgingly started to follow after her, and then resigned to stay standing at the bar. Feeling eyes on him, he threw a few apologetic shrugs at lookers-on, and then made a show of loosening his tie and fanning himself, putting on his most charming "Really-dodged-a-bullet-there-huh?" face to his business associates. The women around him giggled and the men clapped him apologetically on the back. The party continued.
Bulma cringed in embarrassment, and looked down at the coin in her palm with disdain. She half-heartedly dropped it into the fountain, and polished off her cocktail.
"Maybe I should just get a puppy."
Chapter 1:
Bulma sat at the kitchen table with her cup of coffee looking at a baby magazine longingly. Maybe she could convince her children to procreate. Or perhaps the family line would end with them. Damn. No more seiyens. Sorry, honey...
"Hey momma! I'm back!" Bra strutted through the door with a sing-song voice, slinging dozens of multi-colored shopping bags into the ceramic arms of one of their house's robotic servants.
"So I guess Venice was nice?" Bulma said as she hastily threw the damning magazine under the table and walked over to hug her daughter as the ro-butler gently hummed away.
"Fabulous! Except it rained a lot. But I had more free time though because a shoot got canceled for a day. I found some great boutiques! Oh and guess who I saw!"
Unless it's your future husband I don't care... "Who, sweetie?"
"PAN! Her little 'follower', Tripp, bought her a ticket so she could 'experience it's beauty' haha, and he's a cute one too! They had already been there for a few days. I found them all cuddled up in a gondola, can you believe it?"
What?! Videl is not going to beat me to grandchildren. She would certainly have a talk with Pan later when she came to use the gravity room.
Anyway…How would she word this? Bulma had to at least find out her daughter's views on marriage. .
"That's interesting, She did tell me she was going on a trip..So how are you and Eric doing?"
Please work!
"Ha! We are no longer a 'doing!'"
Damn.
"That's the last time I date a guy older than thirty. He was desperate! Very unattractive quality I might add. Want some more coffee?"
"NO!.. I mean, I'm fine, the no-fat creamer is in the cabinet, Now go on, what happened? Even desperation would look good on Eric, he's gorgeous!" and would make gorgeous little half sayiens..
"And overbearing! Uh! I think he was infatuated with the idea of procreation and saw me as this young 'fertile' thing and was ready to spread his seed. haha!"
"WHAT'S WRONG WITH THAT!?" That crazy look flashed through her eyes again.
"...momma?"
She calmed down and cleared her throat, "I'm just saying, aren't you ready to settle down? Have a little bit a stability… emotionally speaking, of course."
"Pshh.. No! I'm in the height of a career I love! And There are not many hip publications that want to advertise or publish pregnant housewives.. I'll do that when I'm old and shameless. Speaking of, how's Trunks?"
Bulma sighed, "He's still Trunks. This week I have been ready to ring his neck, Veggie style. He has been late to work, sloppy, and extremely grouchy. I'm ready for him to move back to his OWN wing of the house!"
"No way! Trunks moved back into Mommy's basement and I missed it! Please tell me you at least broke out some footy pajamas!"
"Settle down, Bra. It's only temporary. Last Monday, he had some kind of hissy-fit and blasted half of his living room and hallway. But for now he's back in his old bedroom while his place is being renovated. I don't know what happened. He never tells me anything…"
"He's got daddy's temper... speaking of tempers, did he remember his date with Madame Mercedes Friday night? Pan said she was supposed to 'call and remind him' but she was 'busy having her own life,' with Tripp."
"That girl made a scene at the investor party last night! Wait... Why would Trunks ask Pan to remind him of dates? That's odd. Doesn't he have a phone? And 5 or 6 secretaries?"
"Are you kidding! I don't think Trunks could lace up his shoes without Pan! That's probably what's been the matter with him all week, haha.. He's Pan deprived!" Bra chuckled as she sipped her coffee, almost soaking herself in the process as she was interrupted by a familiar baritone voice,
"I am not 'Pan deprived,' and I chose to forget that date."Trunks spoke from the doorway.
"Boxer Boy! How are you? Are you choosing to forget to give your favorite little sister a hug?" She ran up and gave her brother a big bear hug, lifting him off the ground. He couldn't stay mad.
"Eruhg.. Haha.. So how has my favorite fame-monger been the past month?"
"Better than you from what I hear. Venice was great, since you asked."
Trunks stiffened at the word 'Venice.' Bulma cocked her head as she saw the flinch. Bra noticed and with an evil glint in her eye, took the opportunity to patronize him.
"Yeah, I saw Pan and Tripp there. They looked like they were having fun. Tripp's great, I'm sure she'll be spending a lot more time with him.."
"Tripp's an entitled, millennial ass-clown…"
"Trunks, watch your language. Believe it or not I am your mother."
"Did that sentence feel weird for you to say, mom?"
"Haha, a little... but go on.. Tripp's an ass-clown because..?"
"I can't even explain it. He tries to be funny and he's just not. He's annoying and his sense of humor is just too.. BIG." He rummaged through the cabinets and fridge as he spoke.
"Good reason to dislike someone," Bra said sarcastically.
Trunks got out the jug of milk, took a gulp, and grabbed a shiny Granny-Smith apple. "And he's a bum. I mean, he doesn't have a thing, you know, like a thing he likes to do. Well, anyway.. I'm going to train.." With that he was off to the GR.
Bulma spotted some spilled milk on the floor. "Ugh.. I am sick of cleaning up after a grown man. Veggie makes enough of a mess."
"Here I'll get it." Bra got a paper towel and ducked under that table to clean up the mess, but was distracted by a crumpled magazine on the floor by her mother's feet. She picked it up, the milky mess forgotten.
"What's this?"
"It's mine," Bulma tried to snatch it away but Bra turned the other direction.
"A maternity magazine? Mom… Are you pregnant?! Why are pages marked?! What the-"
"GIM'ME!" She snatched it, rolled it up, and fixed herself. "No I am not pregnant. That is physically impossible."
"Did Trunks knock some girl up?!" Bra asked with way too much mirth.
"I wish," Bulma mumbled, lost in a daydream, only to be awoken by the confused look of concern written across Bra's face.
"It's just that… I'm ready to raise another little baby! With everybody grown up and out of the house, it gets too quiet. I want grandchildren!"
"Well don't look at me! I'm not an incubator!"
"I'm not saying that, it's just.."
The conversation was cut short as the front door slammed and female voice yelled, "I'm back!"
"In the Kitchen, Pan!" Bulma yelled out joyfully, thankful for an out to an awkward conversation.
Pan jumped in the kitchen and gave Bra a hug. "Hey Bulma, missed my daily visit?"
Bulma chuckled, and for some reason she said, "Not as much as Trunks."
Pan 'Pfffd' and rolled her eyes as Bra continued the conversation,
"How was your Tripp?" she said with a wink.
"The destination was ok, the company, not so much. I broke it off. He was just too boring."
"Boring?! He took you to Venice! For a week!"
Pan shrugged her shoulders and walked to the fridge. "I know. I mean, he was nice but there wasn't anything to him. He didn't have a 'thing." She got out the milk jug and took a gulp, looking at the girls for confirmation of her opinion, "Ya, Know?"
Bra and Bulma nodded in awe as Pan repeated Trunks' prior actions to a T. Pan went on to rummage through the food.
"Oh! And he had the dumbest sense of humor… It was too 'BIG.'" She took a bite of her shiny red apple, then notices the mess on the floor.
"Hmm, someone spilled some milk, here, I'll get it up. No need to cry, haha!"
Bra silently handed her the paper towel she was still holding. Pan wiped up Trunks' mess from minutes before and walked toward the door, becoming slightly unnerved at the blue-haired, blank stares she was getting.
"Well…I'm going to train, see you two later." With that, she walked towards the exit to the GR, acutely aware of the eyes on the back of her head.
Pan whipped her head back around the doorframe,
"Oh! And is it ok if I stay the night? I'm bombing my apartment for spiders.."
Bulma silently nodded.
"Um.. OK.. Thanks.. It's only for the night..."
They watched her uncomfortably walk to the other side of the house. Bra broke the silence.
"I think those 2 are on the same menstrual cycle."
Bulma had the biggest smile she had since she was her pink porcelain doll.
"I think they would have beautiful children."
AN: Yay! You did it! I know the whole thing seems a bit like a prologue, but I REALLY didn't want you to catch onto the fact I'm just writing another meddling matchmaker story. I find, both in life and in writing, banter is a beautiful tool to evade substance. Stay tuned for Chapter 2, where our heroes will match wits and physical prowess in the Obligatory sexy-time sparring scene! May their mutual aggression bring them closer together!
Feel free to comment or review or like or shake your head in disdain at your monitor!