On the journey back from Italy I can't help but think about everything that's happened since I moved to Forks. I tried to change myself into a good girl, a girl a father could be proud of and happy with. In doing that I ended up becoming a doormat, letting people walk all over me, letting Edward and Alice decide everything for me.

At the time I was happy, mainly because I didn't have to be the adult anymore. I didn't have to worry about paying the bills on time or making sure my mother got to work on time. I was able to be a teenager. I had a loving mother and a compassionate father in Carlisle and Esme, a bitchy older sister in Rosalie, a fun loving big brother in Emmet, a hyperactive sister in Alice and a loving boyfriend in Edward. It was everything I ever wanted, or so I thought. Until it was all taken away from me.

I couldn't really pinpoint where Jasper stood because he never felt like a brother to me. That was probably because we were never allowed around each other. He was always on the outskirts, watching and observing. He was never comfortable whenever I chanced a glance at him. I suppose it didn't help that he was an empath, feeling everything from everyone all the time must take it's toll on him. Especially seeing as the vampires he is surrounded by are always thirsty and to make things worse, I am a singer to one of them.

I saw what happened that night, Jasper was trying to protect me, not feed on me. He wasn't the danger that night, my so called boyfriend was. I can just imagine that Edward and the rest of his family have been blaming him for everything that happened. One thing is certain, I will be setting that record straight as soon as I see them again.

I still can't believe that I let myself become that weak, dependant little mouse, well no more. I won't be that girl again. I want to go back, back to the girl I was before I moved here. Back to the girl who didn't take shit from anyone. Back to the girl who didn't care what people thought about her.

I want to be me again.

I want to go back to myself.