Chapter 1

A.N: I do not own Harry Potter, Discworld, or Marvel. The only things I have are a lovely bunch of coconuts and this story.

Harry could only thank his lucky stars that he was alone in the middle of the forbidden forest when he united the three hallows. He'd returned to Voldemort's forest lair a year after the battle, after the procession of funerals and the redemption of the wizarding world to collect the ring. It was a hurricane of magical power that swirled around Harry, trees were being torn from the earth, leaves spinning like circular saw blades leaving deep scratches where ever they collided with something, and assorted detritus left from the death eaters acting like cannon balls as they circled. All in the centre of this, Harry had been levitated by some unknown power, without warning his body pulsed four times, first the Elder wand emitted a blinding blue light, followed by the stone, then the cloak, and finally Harry himself flashed brightly before Harry suddenly dropped to the ground unmoving and unresponsive to the tempestuous conditions around him.

It was three hours later when Harry finally awoke from the experience with a pounding headache and a sense of disorientation he normally associated with the not infrequent concussions he'd suffered throughout the years. As Harry groggily climbed to his feet he pulled his wand and cast a couple of pain relieving spells at himself, once done with that he turned on the spot and with only a brief disturbance, arrived in the entrance hall of Potter Manor. Met by Winky he handed over his cloak and headed up to the master bedroom to take a headache potion before falling onto the bed with a groan.

As Harry awoke the next morning he slowly moved and began his occlumency meditation to help make sense of what had happened the day before. The result was a rush of memories, frightened and startled by the tsunami of information, Harry broke from his meditative state.

"What the fuck!"

Breathing deeply, Harry gradually lowered himself back into the flood of foreign memories. This time he was forced towards one particular memory, sat behind a desk was a skeletal figure with blue balls of fire dancing in the eye sockets.

"I repeat, what the fuck!"

"HELLO MASTER, WELCOME TO THE REALM OF DEATH." The voice didn't make sense, the jaw moved but it was like a badly dubbed TV show, all out of sync, also add in the fact that the voice was heavy and ominous, reminding him of Godzilla's thundering footsteps, and it was disconcerting. Ironically Harry, once finished sorting out the small issue of a Dark Lord infestation and getting his own life on track, had returned to his muggle roots and truly wrapped himself in the modern world, taking the time to gain his driving licence and learn about a less magical way of life. He'd found the attention from beating Voldemort suffocating and he'd retreated from most people to be able to live a more normal life.

"So I united the Hallows then, that's what happened." Harry muttered to himself. "You here to explain the job to me then or just torment me." He addressed the skeletal figure in front of him.

If possible Harry would have said there was sure he saw confusion on the impression less skull. "WHY WOULD I TORMENT YOU MASTER?"

Harry sighed "You wouldn't understand, so what's the deal. Why am I here?"

Death stood and moved towards a row of shelves, indicating with his hand he intoned "THESE ARE THE SANDS OF TIME, WHEN YOUR SANDS ARE GONE, AS ARE YOU." Death pointed at an empty space on the shelf. "THIS IS WHERE YOU SHOULD BE, BUT NOW, YOU SHALL LIVE FOREVER, AGEING AS NORMAL, BUT FOR ALL PURPOSES IMMORTAL. REBORN WHEN INFIRM AND INCAPABLE BACK TO YOUR PEAK, TO CONTINUE YOUR ROLE AS MASTER OF DEATH."

Harry blew another sigh, this time of relief, at least I'll age normally he thought, can still pretend to be normal. Rather than having to be treated as a freak. "So what do you need me to do, wield the scythe, take charge of ferrying souls" Harry stated flippantly.

"NOTHING SO DULL MASTER, I SHALL DO ALL OF THE ONEROUS TASKS, YOUR ONLY TASK IS TO HELP THE SOULS OF THOSE IMPORTANT ENOUGH TO WARRANT THE MASTER OF DEATH. HEADS OF STATE AND SUCH."

Harry was elated at his revelation, seemed a reasonably stress free role, minimum time and effort requirements. "So what do I have to do with these VIP's? Bring them to you, swing the scythe at them, I feel like a scythe is necessary."

If possible Death would have raised an eyebrow at this. "YOU MERELY INFORM THEM OF THEIR DEATH, MOST PEOPLE ARE A BIT BEWILDERED ABOUT SUDDENLY BEING DEAD."

"Seems simple, anything else?"

"YOU NOW HAVE ACCESS TO THE MEMORIES OF THE MASTERS OF DEATH THAT HAVE COME BEFORE YOU, YOU SHALL ASSIMILATE THOSE MEMORIES AND LEARN FROM THEM."

"Very well, I'll be off then, see you soon." Harry was inwardly grinning, although not as fanatical about studying as one of his bushy haired friends, he was still excited about being able to learn about new, possibly esoteric forms of magic."

As the realm of death faded and returned to the expected visage of his bedroom, Harry smiled, things were looking up.