First, and likely only Legend of Korra fan fiction. This idea is one that I've tossed around quite a bit, and really wanted to put down somewhere. I hope you enjoy!
Disclaimer: I do not own The Legend of Korra. :)
It was early fall, his favorite time of the year. The air was still warm, but on occasion, quietly interrupted by an timid breeze of something distantly crisp and hair-raising. The trees were primarily green and full. Very few were turning gold, but those that were were doing it proudly, and he liked seeing the fiery color stand out against the metallic buildings of the city. He felt that it added more authentic life to the bustling downtown. Green was trying a bit too hard sometimes.
He was walking through Avatar Korra Park. On that particular day, plenty were occupying it's benches and walking along the stone trails, which Mako was glad for. He'd begun to dislike being alone more and more as time went on, not so much in being without close friends, but being an empty space with nothing but his thoughts to keep his interest. In fact, he preferred the white noise of incomprehensible chatter than a deep conversation with a colleague or friend. Being around strangers was easier nowadays. There would always be too much to focus on, and too much was enough to keep him from falling into his own plethora of memories and expectaions.
Mako never liked thinking about the past. Anyone who knew him well enough could probably guess why. It was full of mistakes, mistakes that he'd learned from, and mistakes that he didn't, whether he cared to or not. Not to mention all of those memories of living on the street as a child, no one but his brother by his side. He found its permanence so unsettling. It was like a wall that couldn't be knocked down, that continuously reached into the sky forever, so that no matter how far away he traveled, he'd always be in its shadow. Too often he found himself thinking about what in his life he could have done differently, subsequently collapsing under the weight of regret because he knew he could never actually change a thing.
He hated thinking about the future almost as much, but he felt he had a little more control. The issue wasn't that he didn't know where he was going. It was quite the opposite actually; he felt he saw everything laid out in front of him in relative clarity. He'd continue with his Detective career for a while, eventually make enough of a living to buy himself his own house closer to the station. He had the suspicion that Chief Beifong would want him to take over her job when she finally decided to retire, which wouldn't be for a while yet given her seemingly inextinguishable inner fire. A few years down the road, he'd become an Uncle. Mako knew Bolin wanted kids before he reached his thirties - he and Opal were practically married already. All of this, Mako was comfortable with, until the past and the future intertwined, and he realized that there was something from years before that he could never have again.
He retreated, focusing on the sun in the sky. It was angled acutely with the horizon; soon enough the sky would be splashed with cool gold. As he walked under the trees, it vanished from his sight in splotches. Mako blinked and continued forward.
When he reached the center of the park, he found his eyes fixated on the statue of a familiar face and body, proudly looking to the South. Mako tried to replicate the proud and stern facial expression permanently worn on the gray countenance, but there was something so great and marvelous about how it stared with unblinking eyes and a still, calm expression that made it impossible to imitate. Of course, nothing could compare to the real person.
He ascended the arch of one the stone bridges and leaned against the wall, his neck craned in the direction of the statue. His hands jammed in his pockets, Mako stood and simply waited for time to pass. At least that's what he had convinced himself he was doing as he stared at the monument in pensive silence. He hadn't even noticed that he was tracing the curves and edges with his eyes until finally looked away and failed to find something else with a similar pattern to continue.
"Hey there, stranger." He froze at the sound of her voice. He saw someone walking towards him out of his peripherals, someone so startlingly unmistakable as she strode with familiar confidence. He heard her smile and imagined it as she said, "Did I spook you?"
When Mako looked at her, memories of the past began to emerge through the barrier he had built in his head, as if hoping to pass between two minds. Those thoughts stayed where they belonged though, and Mako wasn't all that thrilled to be the only one left speechless as those images swirled around. He met her eyes and kept them there, hoping to exchange a silent greeting. She laughed.
"Earth to Mako."
"Sorry," he replied quickly, scrambling to pick up his scattered thoughts. "Yeah, you surprised me."
"I figured." She leaned on the wall next to him and gazed at the statue ahead of them. Mako wondered if she had seen him staring, growing a little warm in the face. "I'm lucky to run into you here. I feel like we never get to see each other."
"It's been eight months," he said, seeing that her hair was a little longer.
She seemed shocked by this. "Has it really? Feels at most six." She looked at her feet, and Mako wondered if she was feeling a little guilty. Every time they'd tried to get together, she was always the one to put it off. Now all of the sudden she was turning up in the city unannounced. He hadn't gotten a letter, or a phone call or anything. He was sure this run-in had been an accident.
"Well, I'm glad to see you, Korra," he told her, meaning it.
"I'm really glad too. How's the police force?" she asked.
"Same as ever. How's the Earth Empire?"
"It's been pretty quiet," she answered, which was good to hear. In the last few years there had been a few small uprisings by people who wanted the monarchy restored, fearing another Kuvira, or unwilling to fully evolve. Korra had played a large role in keeping the peace, not to mention overseeing the division of the states and the economic recovery of Ba Sing Se. She wasn't around all that much. Lucky for all of them, it's been years since the last major threat had surfaced.
"Is that why you finally came?" Mako clenched his teeth when he realized he had sounded rather accusatory. Before he could smooth it over, Korra was already talking.
"Yeah, partially. I try to take every opportunity I get. Though I admit, sometimes I feel too drained. I don't always want to travel."
"I can imagine."
"When I do, I feel like I can't relax, and end up cutting my visits short. I feel bad about not giving you or Bolin or the airbenders enough of my time," murmured Korra apologetically.
There was someone very specific that she had left out of that list, someone very intentional. Mako turned his body somewhat defensively. The memories were churning in his mind again, circling the focal point of his thoughts like a storm forming over water. He replied, "You shouldn't; I get it."
"Stop being so uncharacteristically agreeable," she snapped at him playfully, smacking his arm, "Otherwise I'd be worrying myself every day for nothing."
"Are you okay?" he asked her, noticing a distant look in her eyes. "You look far off."
"What?" Korra recoiled. "Yes, I'm fine."
"I think I know you well enough to tell if you're lying," he carefully told her. There was some barrier on the surface of her face that was breaking, like a stiff clay mask cracking ever so slightly. She looked at him with a little hostility, but Mako knew it had emerged out of disinclination. That look, it was too familiar...
"Mako," Korra sighed hesitantly, "I actually wanted to talk to you about something - something important."
He shifted his weight and gazed at her expectantly, one hand on the wall.
"I know that it's going to sound really weird that I'm coming to you of all people to ask for advice about this, but..." she paused, voice gradually trailing off into silence. Mako was patient; he studied her quietly as she looked off into the distance. "But...I just feel like I can trust you to give me the right answer."
"Korra, what is it?" he asked gently, afraid of frightening her into secrecy.
"It's about me - and Asami."
The soft reluctance in her voice was somehow more than enough to send him mentally reeling, though his feet stayed planted. The relationship that Korra and Asami had built over the last five years was something that she had never brought up to him directly. He thought it was because deep down, she knew how he still felt about her. If she knew, why would she think to bring it up to him now? There had to be someone else. Anyone else. Perhaps Opal, or Jinora, or Pema, or her own mother. Bolin even! The way she still blushed when she said Asami's name, it killed him. It totally killed him, and she had to know that.
She just had to.
"We were talking a little bit ago...about our future." She sounded far off, slowly collecting the memories and the ideas. Her eyes scanned the empty air before her as if she was holding it all up to the light and analyzing every piece. Mako could see the deep thought in her eyes, all of the confusion and the vacillation floating on the surface of the ocean. "We got into discussing stuff like marriage, officially becoming a family, you know."
Mako's thick eyebrows pinched closer together, the look on his face stiff. He hadn't known they'd been thinking about that stuff. He felt detached.
Korra pivoted towards him, glancing at his face for the first time since she had said Asami's name. "At first, it all sounded great. Perfect even. That is, until Asami started to talk about...having kids."
This really should have surprised him more, but Mako found himself nodding. After what happened to Asami's parents, it only made sense to him that she would want children to raise and love properly. She had always wanted to adopt, even before she and Korra were together.
"But...I just…"
"But you don't want kids," Mako finished for her.
"It's not just that necessarily. It has everything to do with me and who I am, and Asami and who she is." Korra talked with her hands, no longer able to stand still as she found herself pouring everything out for Mako to hear. "Kids...I'm sure they would be a delight. I mean, I loved hanging around Jinora, Ikki, Meelo, and Rohan when they were younger, and they loved me. But I - I am not cut out to be a mother." Korra swallowed and made a brief face, as if the word tasted sour in her mouth.
"Korra, you're the most selfless person I know," Mako began, giving all of his effort to an attempt to make something positive out of his emotions. "I'm sure you would-"
"That's not what I mean!" She sounded panicked now. "Here's the thing, Mako. I know Asami wants kids one day with all her heart. Even though we don't know when that'll be, I can't ever put that burden on her. Do you understand?"
He saw where it was going, and nodded.
"I mean, look at me now! The whole thing with the Earth Empire, and Republic City still being rebuilt after five whole years, with still more to get done. It's so much, and my life isn't even on the line." He heard the tears in her voice before he saw them in her eyes. Mako reached and placed his hand on her shoulder comfortingly. He could feel her shaking. "But you know how this all goes! One day it will be again, and while Asami's here in the city, running Future Industries, and raising our kids all on her own, I'll probably be off saving the world and potentially getting myself killed!" Korra placed her elbows on the railing and rested her forehead in her hands.
Mako stood there, slightly amazed by what she had said. Korra never spoke about the possibility of death so vehemently. He knew she feared for her life - she wouldn't be human if she didn't - but now, as she stood in the park, with year's having passed since their last mortal endeavor, she seemed more afraid than ever. It was now that he saw the cold reflection of the sunlight on the surface of her helpless gaze; the tears had come, and seeing Korra cry hurt him more than when she screamed at him. It was at least then that he could try and make up for it.
He imagined her happy, and as strong as Korra was, he knew it wasn't often. She was happy when she danced like a leaf and wound her way across the pro-bending stage like she'd been doing it for years. She was happy when Bolin declared Team Avatar, and the path of triumph was ahead of them. She was happy when she achieved the Avatar State for the first time and leaped into his arms with a conclusive, "I love you too". She was happy for the few months after that, before they both started to realize that it just didn't work like they hoped that it would, but all of those thoughts felt wrong in his head. That wasn't the Korra he knew anymore. The Korra he knew was just as beautiful, just as brave, just as loving, just as noble, and determined, and just as breathtakingly astounding. But now, she wasn't happy with bending achievements, she wasn't happy with him. Happiness was spelled into a single name that alone was enough the brighten the gloom of her day.
Mako knew better than to deny it. Her real fear wasn't dying. It was hurting Asami. It was losing Asami. He exhaled quietly.
Korra looked up with a shining, desperate gaze, waiting for him to tell her what to do. He observed her in hidden agony, the way her dark shoulder-length hair brushed against the side of her face with the delicate way she was leaning. He watched her lips tremble, her long fingers shake. He remembered them intertwining with his when they stood together and looked out onto the ocean from Air Temple Island. He remembered her grip being a perfect balance of strong and tender. He looked into her eyes and past the despair to dive into their color. He saw the soft and kind blues disperse into water, earth, fire, and air before crashing back together into the white that gleamed with the fury of the thousands that came before her and the thousands that would come after. Then he decided that she wasn't just amazing to him, but legendary, and he saw it in every piece of her. And finally he saw something surprising. There was regret behind it all, regret that was recent, and he watched it battle with something else surprising: trust, trust that was long-lasting.
Of course she knew. She had to know.
Mako turned his whole body towards her, and took a deep breath. "When you're in love," he started, and Korra straightened herself, "You'd like to think that it means the two of you are perfect for each other in all regards. You'd like to think that things just work out and everyone gets to go home with what they'd always dreamed of..." he paused, feeling his heart beat against his chest. "But that isn't always the case, and you'd like to think that those who really do get that out of love are the lucky ones. The truth is, the lucky ones have it hard."
Korra was speechless. Mako could hardly hear her breathe. He continued firmly.
"When you're in love, it means doing whatever is right for the other person. It means making them happy, no matter how much it might hurt you in turn." Mako almost lifted his hand to his chest, but didn't. "The lucky ones, Korra, the ones who go through those hard times, and the ones who survive it knowing that they've given up everything they want for the one they love, are the ones who are at peace despite the hurt."
Korra widened her eyes, and looked as if she wanted to say something, but Mako cut her off.
"Because all that should matter to you, is that the person you love is happy."
Gaze aimed upward into his own, Korra was quiet for many moments. He watched her eyes again, and saw emotion after emotion, thought after thought race through like stones being skipped on water. Mako was patient. He would wait all day for her if he had to.
But he didn't. Korra opened her mouth to speak, and she spoke solemnly, "So what does that mean for me and Asami?" she asked him.
Mako thought. It could have meant a few different things, all of which only seemed to prompt Korra's fear. He closed his eyes. "I don't know," he replied, "I guess it's up to you to figure that out."
"Oh."
"But if you ask me," he went on, "There is no one in this world that Asami loves more than you. When she thought she had nothing left, you were there to prove her wrong. You were there to give her something to fight for again." He smiled, slightly. "Right now, the future is uncertain. For the two of you, for me, for the Earth Empire, for everyone. But down the road, Korra, I think you can sleep easy knowing that you'd do anything for her, and she'd do anything for you. She'd follow you no matter where you go."
The tears that had been glinting in her eyes finally freed a single one that went streaming down Korra's cheek as she said, "You too?"
"Always."
She took a step back from the railing, replaying his words in her head. The regret in her eyes was washed out, the trust shining in its place. "Thank you, Mako."
He nodded.
Korra turned her back, and began walking along the stone pathway. Her stride was far less confident than it had been when she first came to stand by him. He didn't expect her to know what to do immediately, but he did know that she loved Asami, and whether that meant she did at the expense of her own guilt, or a dream being fulfilled without her, Mako would be there.
He stood there until the light of the sun had splashed gold and orange on the statue, and the shadows washed it away.
I felt the best way to end this would be to leave Korra's decision up to the interpretation of the reader. Something I really wanted to do was make it enjoyable whether you ship Korrasami, or Makorra, or neither, or both. As for me, I really enjoy the one-sided Makorra on the part of Mako, just because it's the Makorra that feels the most realistic with how the show ended. To each their own. I hope you liked it, and I hope you'll take the time to review!
~Destiny