author's note: there's a bit that was inspired by a comic, but I can't remember the name of it.

"HA! You can't scare me! You're just an idiot monster!"

"Heh, well, I guess you're just too brave for my level." Answered Sans to the kid tiredly, standing in his spot at the small town's haunted house. He had a bottle of ketchup stuck between two of his ribs, and was contemplating strategies to make the kid go away so he could drink some.

"Try again, freak!"

Sans sighed inwardly. "Raaaah."

"MOOOOMMM! MOM, MAKE THE STUPID MONSTER DO SOMETHING! Ha! My mom's gonna get you fired for being such an idiot!" The kid put a finger in each side of his mouth and stretched his mouth, sticking his tongue out to wrap up the marvelous sight.

Sans got a tiny bit more dead inside than he already was. GOD does he want his ketchup already.

He lifted his hand, slowly and gently pulling the kid's soul up until the little jerk's face were up close to his. It only took a few centimeters, but that was enough to make Lucifer Jr shut up, apparently.

Sans's eye sockets went blank. The kid screamed. He let him down (oh no, a 2 inch fall) and the kid ran away. Well, Sans did do his job for once, so all good, right? He pulled out his ketchup bottle and took a few sips. He will have to apologize later, when that kid's mother comes screaming at his boss. Sans died a bit more inside at the thought- he swore to god, if that guy makes him dance to "Spooky Scary Skeletons" one more time, he's gonna…

"Greetings Sans! How is your day going so far?" Sans hears Papyrus's voice behind him.

"Oh, hey Paps. I'm doin' great." Sans smiles and puts away the ketchup as he turns to the door, a genuine smile on his face for the first time that day. "And you?"

"An excellent work day for The Great Papyrus! Nyeh heh heh!"

Sans's heart warms up. Papyrus got promoted lately to shift supervisor, so now every once in awhile he comes by Sans's stand to make sure he doesn't slack off. Obviously, it gets in the way of slacking off, but it makes his day.

Both of them suddenly heard a loud thud from the near room, then a few shouts.

"It seems I, The Great Papyrus, am needed elsewhere. I shall come to the rescue!"

"You're the coolest, Papy." Sans said honestly as Papyrus hurried to the next room to fix the situation.

"You are quite cool too, dear brother! Nyeh heh heh!"

Sans pulled out the ketchup when his brother left the room. He looked at the watch eagerly- not long till the end of his shift. It didn't fill him with determination, but it did help with a bit of hope.

Sans, Papyrus and Napstablook were waiting at the bus stop near the haunted house. Mettaton had volunteered to give them all a ride home ("M-Mettaton? Wowie! That'd be nearly as great as I am!"), so for once they weren't riding the bus. It was pretty nice to get home without the usual stares-through-the-ribs-by-all-the-humans-on-the-bus deal.

"By the way guys, what was the noise from the other room earlier?" Sans asked.

"A human child jumped directly into a wall! Quite strange, right Sans?"

"Heh. Yeah, pretty weird."

"Oh… it's not really like that… a little boy just ran into the room, and when I looked at him, he screamed that he wasn't scared and tried to tackle me... I must have looked at him in a hurtful way by accident... it's all my fault, I shouldn't even be here... I'm sorry..."

"C'mon Naps, you can't blame yourself for everything. That guy should just get a life, nothing you did wrong." That was a weak one, but Napstablook seemed a bit better. He has been spending a lot of time with the ghost lately (nice music, and a good excuse to lie down on the floor) so they were already used to his puns.

"Wowie! Mettaton arrived!" Papyrus cheered over-excitedly. It's easy to forget, sometimes, that this egomaniacal robot was the idol of his bro. Though, if Mettaton tried using that admiration, or tried doing anything funny- Sans had already made sure the celebrity knew exactly what kind of time he'll get.

"Strap in, beauties!"

Frisk was doing biology homework on the living room coffee table. In the corner of their eye they see Sans taking out materials for a hot drink out of the cupboard and Papyrus entering through the door, carrying a bag of groceries.

"Hey Papyrus, can you help me with my homework?" Frisk asked as Papyrus passed by the coach. They figured Papyrus would know.

"Certainly, human!"

Frisk held up the open anatomy book so the skeleton could see it from the other side of the room.

"Any chance you know tricks to remember..." the child stopped when they saw Papyrus dropping the bag. Frisk realized, suddenly, that a picture of a naked skeleton isn't something Papyrus would want them looking at.

"F-Frisk! Put that book down immediately!" The skeleton was so flustered that Frisk wanted to take a picture.

"But Papyrus, it's homework! We're studying human anatomy!"

"How is human anatomy related to that at all?!"

"All humans have a skeleton inside their body."

"..."

Papyrus fainted.

Frisk hears Sans's voice from the kitchen. "Heh, figured he had to learn that eventually. Now, what was all the shouting about?" He steps out of the kitchen, sipping on a large mug, and Frisk decides to keep holding the book up.

Sans spits ketchup and mustard all over the floor. "Frisk. Don't."

Frisk looks at certain areas on the picture, then at fitting areas on the skeleton in front of them. Back at the book. Back at Sans's sweat pants.

"Kid, I'm warning you."

Frisk brought their eyes up to Sans's and wiggled their eyebrows flirtatiously.

"So you're saying your friend blasted through your book?"

"Yep." Frisk raised the remains of their anatomy book, now an empty paper rectangle with a round, burnt hole where the words had been.

"..."

Frisk looked firmly into their teacher's eyes.

"Oh well, better than most excuses, I guess." The teacher admitted, walking on to check the next student.

The kid sitting in front of them turned back to face them. "Why?" He asked, raising an eyebrow.

But Frisk only replied with: "I regret nothing."