Peter Parker woke up in pain, mostly concentrated at three different spots on his body, and the memory of Deadpool putting those bullets in him.

"Fuck…."

He groaned in pain when every movement he made only served to make the pain worse. He was losing blood, fast. He needed to close the wounds soon before he lost all the blood he needs to stay alive. He needed stitches, like 40 minutes ago (or has it been hours already?).

His healing factor was most likely the reason he wasn't dead yet.

Damn it, he needed help.

He noticed his phone lying not far on his left. If he could only move his left hand, he could get someone to help him up, at the very least. Or bring him some transfusion blood.

The amount of blood he lost was quite alarming.

'Suck it up, Parker. You gotta move if you wanna live'

His hand was shaking as he reached to his phone. He managed to unlock his phone by muscle memory alone, but he couldn't open much of the menu since he couldn't see the screen clearly. But, he could hear the notification for a new voice message from the hands free still stuck in his ear. From Deadpool.

Very much not him. Not now. Preferably not ever again.

However, opening the contact list when he couldn't be sure who he would contact wasn't an option either. So he opened his last dialled contact instead.

"Peter? I thought you were having breakfast?"

Anna Maria. Right. Now, let's try to speak. Preferably coherent. Because dying.

Deadpool certainly aimed to kill. He was pretty sure the Merc had aimed at his head when he opened the door. That he didn't wasn't something he wanted to contemplate now.

Because he is still dying.

"A-nna. He-lp. Sh-ot. De-ad-poo-l. Bl-ood-l-oss. B-ad."

Brilliant woman that she is, she arrived at his place shortly (he wasn't sure how long) with all the necessary equipment, only with his garbled, incomplete mumblings as her hints. Her face was a mix of emotions he didn't have enough mental capacity to parse through. Her words as she worked through his wounds were lost to him as more blood flowed out of his body, spider-shaped med-scanner running around his immobile body.

Eventually, he did find himself more alert as more time passed (hours? Minutes?). He felt less like a dying man with all his wounds stitched and propped on the couch while letting his healing takes care of the rest. While he still couldn't stand, at the very least, he wasn't in danger of dying anymore. Not according to his scanners, at least.

He still needed something like hospital, though.

"So, what happened? Last I heard from you, you said you had a good time in your date with Deadpool. Not an hour later, you were shot and somehow Deadpool had something to do with it."

Still lethargic, Peter shook his head. "Not a date. Double date. Thor and Jenny were our date."

"Not exactly the point. So, did Deadpool shot you?"

Peter sighed and mumbled out her name instead.

"Damn it, Peter. Deadpool isn't a guy you can save! Whatever you think his reason was, he came to you with intent to kill. The only reason you're even alive right now is because of your healing factor, stubbornness, and a brilliant friend—"

"—And you are brilliant Anna, but—"

"—kill-shots, Peter! They weren't warning shot or shots for giggle, but kill shots with intent to murder! Nothing would make that okay—"

"—he aimed for my head, and my spider-sense didn't warn me."

Anna Maria stopped her ranting after that. Taking her silence as a sign to continue, he talked again.

"Either some magic dulled my spider-sense, which is unlikely, or I trusted him enough that my spider-sense didn't warn me, which is also unlikely, but more likely. I know it is dangerous. I didn't even realize it until after I was shot. This scared me, because I know Deadpool is dangerous. We only had one good night together and now my subconscious already marked him as friend. Either I really do need therapy, or I liked our night out more than I should, or maybe this was something that has been going on for a while and—"

"You're rambling, and I don't really want to hear you having a crush for him after I just dug out his bullets out of your flesh."

"—I don't have a crush. Anyway, he aimed at my head, but he shot my chest instead. Still a kill shot, I know, so the murder intent is still there, but Deadpool wouldn't have done that unless he hesitated. So, thought maybe a talk—"

"Obviously the blood hasn't returned to your head yet, because you're suggesting to talk. With Deadpool. Who just shot you. Dead, I might add, if you weren't Spiderman. For all we know, he could've shot you because he found out Peter Parker is Spiderman."

"Exactly! He doesn't know Peter Parker is Spiderman! It was probably a big misunderstanding."

"He still shot you. In cold blood. Peter Parker, who is Spiderman's employer-slash-friend. And why are you so sure he didn't know?"

Peter grabbed the phone and showed her the notification for a new voice message. The voice message he hasn't opened yet.

"Deadpool left Spiderman a voice message, after he shot me. Why would he do that if he thought he had killed Spiderman?"

Anna Maria lifted a delicate eyebrow at that. "Brag, maybe? You haven't opened it yet, so for all you know, he could be cursing you in there and glad he killed you."

Peter scoffed at that. "And left evidence that he did the deed? That's not how he works. His crime scenes could be filled with a sea of blood, but he never left evidence, especially not a voicemail. No, he doesn't know Peter Parker is Spiderman, so whatever reason he had for trying to kill me, it has nothing to do with Spiderman."

Anna Maria pondered at this, though she still thought Peter was still being too optimistic with Deadpool. Whatever the Merc's reason was, nothing could've justified killing Peter Parker. Even the fact that Deadpool still tried to befriend Spiderman after he shot him felt arrogant and offensive to her.

"You know…you're surprisingly very forgiving to a man who just shot you in cold blood. He shot you with intent to kill. Nothing about this was a case of friendly fire. It was planned murder. An assassination. He came at you with the intent to kill you, and I'm feeling upset right now because you seem ready to defend him at this point of our argument."

Peter let out a long sigh at that and sunk deeper into the couch. His colours have mostly returned and he could think clearer. He still felt light-headed, but the worst seemed to have passed. At least he could think better now. But, even with his newfound clarity, he couldn't think of any rational reason for why Deadpool had targeted Peter Parker. He knew he shouldn't defend Deadpool and he does feel angry. But, for now all he wanted to know now was why.

Why Peter Parker?

"I'm not defending him. I just wanted to know why. I was so sure he meant what he said, wanting to be better, then he shot me. Well, he shot Peter Parker, who wasn't supposed to have anything to do with any of his activities. Was it a job? Was it a personal vendetta? If it was a job, who hired him and why? Did his client know about Spiderman and Peter Parker? If it was a personal vendetta, what did I do as Peter Parker that offends him so much he had to kill me for it? My civilian self and Deadpool barely interacted. We need more information, Anna Maria."

Anna Maria shook her head in exasperation, but she didn't argue further. Peter smiled at her, thankful for her compliance.

"I do feel angry, though. I'm just in too much pain to spend my energy on it. But, I will probably shout at him when I see him. If I could move, I probably would've chased him and webbed him, secret identities be damned," he grumbled as he tried squirming around. Everything still hurt like nobody's business, but his healing had done its job. He felt like he could stand, so he tried to do so. Walking was another thing, though. Even the act of standing winded him and Anna Maria ended up as his crutch.

"So, what's your plan for today?" Anna Maria asked as she helped him to his room. "I don't think you can go to the office today, despite your schedules and meetings. And if sitting still isn't possible, I doubt you can swing around New York either. I can cover for you at the company, but you need to talk to either Hobie or Miles for the Spiderman business."

Peter already reached for his private, Spiderman-phone when it rang out.

It was Miles.

"Well, talk about the spider..." Peter muttered as he picked it up.

"Hi, Spiderman. What-up?" Peter greeted. He could hear the commotion from across the phone. And Deadpool's voice in the background, talking a mile in a minute.

"Deadpool said he couldn't get a hold of you. He was in a shouting match with himself, and I've just about to strangle him if he doesn't shut up. Are you okay, by the way? The company haven't seen you all day either, and I haven't heard anything happening. Well, besides the Spideypool Dance. I gotta say man, you got moves and no shame. They're all over YouTube and Twitter already."

He could see Anna Maria staring at him judgmentally from her seat at the corner of his bed and hear Miles snickering from the phone. In the background, Deadpool was demanding the phone and yelling out Spiderman's name.

("Come on, Junior! I wanna talk to Spidey! I need to tell him something!")

Ah, there's the anger. Finally.

"Well, I got shot in three different places. My healing saved me, but it was pretty bad. Anna Maria saved my life, but I probably need a bit more medical attention, which I'm not quite sure how to get it, since it was Peter Parker who got shot, not Spiderman."

"Wait, what? Peter Parker got shot? How—" Peter could hear the sudden stop of Deadpool's babbling and knew the mercenary is probably getting ready to scram. Or fight. Either way…

"It was Deadpool. Web him up and don't let him get away."

The sound of webbings being shot was heard before there was Deadpool's muffled grunt.

"I got him. What now?"

"Drag Deadpool to my place. I want to know why he wanted to kill Peter Parker."

"Right. You know I can just ask him right?" Peter heard the sound of webbing being torn. "Peter Parker. Talk."

Deadpool was uncharacteristically silent.

"Seriously? Come on, you've been talking nonstop minutes ago! Now you don't want to talk?"

("I will talk, but only to the real Spiderman. Not you, Spiderclone. And-and Spiderman have a better ass than yours.")

"…You know… I really hate this…acquaintance of yours. Where are you?"

"Peter Parker's apartment. I can't exactly move much for now. As good as my healing factor is, Deadpool had aimed to kill and I was off guard. I lost a lot of blood, too. But, I'm not as bad as I was thirty minutes ago."

While Peter could hear Deadpool's grunts as Miles shot another rounds of webbing, he could also hear the other Spiderman's hesitancy.

"Should I get another hero on this? Are you sure you want to handle him now?"

Peter grunted as he tried to sit up a bit straighter, Anna Maria helping him on his side.

"Not really. But, I really need to know his reason for shooting at me. If it was a job, whoever his client is could be someone who found out the relation between Spiderman and Peter Parker. Or someone who was against Parker Industries. Either way, I need to know before another mercenary comes in and finish the job once they know Peter Parker is alive."

The whooshing of the black Spiderman swinging could be heard through the phone, together with Deadpool's muffled grunts in the background.

"Are you masked? I'll arrive in about five minutes. I can slow down if you need more time."

Peter had actually been pondering about it. But, he decided the double identities could increase the confusion. And he needed to clear things up instead of adding more confusion.

Anna Maria seemed to read his thought and disagree, vehemently. "He shot at you, and now you want to reveal yourself to him. Unbelievable."

"Come on, seriously? Did you hit your head on the way down, Spiderman? —Shut up, Deadpool!"

The whooshing sound seemed to have stopped, and Deadpool incoherent grunts got louder, like he was actually trying to yell.

"Look. Just, bring him here. And besides, he already trusted me with his own secret. I think it's fair."

And there it is again; Anna Maria's judging stare, mixed with incredulousness and a pinch of fondness. Mostly a stare that demanded him to get his brain back and act like the smart person he's supposed to be.

"Fair? Fair! Nothing is fair in this situation! But, you know what? Fine! But I'm not leaving you alone with him, understand?"

Peter just sighed. "Alright, okay. See you soon."

After the call was over, Anna Maria was still staring at him with her disbelieving face and like he was the stupidest person on earth.

He was feeling like it too, actually.

"…What?"

Anna Maria just sighed loudly.

Deadpool actually had a plan.

It was supposed to be a good plan. Great, in fact.

He planned to get Spidey alone before he found out about Parker He was going to show all the evidence that he had gathered that show what an evil sonofabitch Peter Parker was before he un-alived him and showed the cute Spider how the man deserved to be un-alived.

When he couldn't get through with Spiderman though, he began to panic.

'Does Spiderman know already? But they haven't found Parker's body yet! The news would have announced it! Damn it! Fuck! Spiderman isn't supposed to know until I got evidence! I got evidence!'

[Face it, we're screwed]

(We had such fun, too….)

[At least, we were once his friend? Last night gotta count for something, right?]

"Shut up! I wanna keep being Spidey's friend. Spidey's a hero. He won't like the un-aliving bit, but he gotta understand how much of a villain Peter Parker is!"

[He gonna hate you]

(Loathe you. Dissappointed in you)

[He probably won't speak to you ever again]

"Fuck off, boxes! Peter Parker was doing human experiments! No way that's okay in Spidey's books! Spidey's just too close to Parker to see his real, schmuck face. I'm being objective here!"

(No, you're not)

[Wifey told you to do it]

(You want her appreciation)

[You get to befriend Spiderman was just a great addition]

(And, you got a personal vendetta against human experiments)

"Exactly! Human Experimentation! Who says Parker won't pick Spidey as his next subject, huh? Spidey's a real hero, he thinks the best out of everyone. He won't expect Parker to stab him in the back. You know his Spidey-sense doesn't work with people he trusted. I'll be damned if I let someone like that get near our Spidey!"

[But Spidey doesn't know that]

(Spiderman doesn't like ki-I mean, unaliving anyone)

"Oh, shut the fuck up! I need to talk to Spidey, not you! And shut up, writer! I don't need you repeating everything I'm saying to yourself. Nobody cares about your intonation! Let the readers decide with their own imagination!"

[You're putting too much exclamation point in this story so far, by the way]

(And the name Peter Parker)

[Are you hinting something, writer?]

Of course, now they're at the point where the writer decided Spiderman should appear. The kid-clone though, not the real one.

"I almost preferred it when you went to hugging spree instead of yelling by yourself on some discrete rooftops," the kid-clone Spiderman said dejectedly, as if Deadpool cared about the not-Spiderman's preference.

Wade cares very much about the real Spiderman's preference, though.

Wait.

"Junior-Spidey! Great timing! Hey, can you get a hold of Spiderman? The real one I mean."

"For the last time, I am Spiderman!—"

"—no, you're not. But anyway, I've been trying to call him up since morning. I mean, last night was such a blast, and we totally showed the ladies we got moves!"

"Yeah, I saw that in YouTube actually."

"So, you totally saw how good we were together, right? And we had so much fun. At least, I was, and he said he had a good time, too. But, when I called, he didn't pick up. I left him a message, but he hasn't called back. And, I thought, did something happen to Spidey? Is he okay? I mean, we just became best buds last night, and it would totally suck if such epic thing ended without even a 24-hours countdown."

Wade realized he was mostly babbling by now, but if it got the message across, he will totally babble all day. The kid-clone didn't have the real Spidey's patience in dealing with him yet, so the kid got huffy soon and pulled a phone from…somewhere.

"Look, I just gotta ask. Where the hell did you pull that out? Spidey—the real one, did that all the time, too! I could never figure out where he put that thing."

"Spidey-secret. Now, shut up if you want me to call him."

Deadpool hurriedly mimed of zipping his mouth closed as the junior called his Spidey (He hoped that's who he's calling). Doesn't mean he won't talk, though.

"Seriously, where did you guys put those phones? Ooh, did Spidey put them near his ass? I mean, whoa. I kinda wish I could just-"

"Hey, Spiderman! Deadpool said he couldn't get a hold of you. He was in a shouting match with himself, and I've just about to strangle him if he doesn't shut up. Are you okay, by the way? The company haven't seen you all day either, and I haven't heard anything happening. Well, besides the Spideypool Dance. I gotta say man, you got moves and no shame. They're all over YouTube and Twitter already."

Deadpool would preen, because that had been the best part of his night. Not only he got to see Spidey's ass in his boxers, they got to dance together. If it had been a date, it was the most perfect date he had ever went, and it was with his most favourite person in the world, too.

Oh, whatever. He'll claim it as a date. Their first date, maybe? His first date with Spiderman….

Wait. Spiderman.

"Hey hey hey, Kid! Is that Spiderman? He picked up your call? I wanna talk to him!"

Of course, he was ignored.

"Come on, Junior! I wanna talk to Spidey! I need to tell him something!"

Because things rarely ever work out for Deadpool, he didn't start running when the Spiderclone's mirth turned serious.

"Wait, what? Peter Parker got shot? How—"

[Yep, we're screwed]

(Lol, Spiderman hates youu¬)

He was getting ready with his fight-or-flight response before the junior Spiderman webbed him up from head to toe, leaving him no chance to run.

"Mmmm-mmmmm!"

"I got him. What now?" the kid-clone Spiderman asked to the phone. Wade wanted to yell 'it was all a misunderstanding!', but he could barely move his lips.

And, he didn't really want to start antagonizing either Spiderman, not if he wanted Spiderman to stay his friend.

[He's not your friend anymore]

(He knows we killed Peter Parker)

"Right. You know I can just ask him right?" the black Spider said before he ripped the webbing around his mouth. "Peter Parker. Talk."

Nope. He's not talking to anyone not Spiderman. With the red and blue costume. Not the fake black one. Nope. He's not talkin'.

"Seriously? Come on, you've been talking nonstop minutes ago! Now you don't want to talk?"

"I will talk, but only to the real Spiderman. Not you, Spiderclone. And-and Spiderman have a better ass than yours."

[He does]

(Wonderful, wonderful ass that bears repeating)

"…You know… I really hate this…acquaintance of yours. Where are you?" the black-costumed Spiderman said to the phone. Finally, meeting with the real Spiderman! Not exactly how he planned it, but he finally can show Spidey his evidence! But, did he need to web his mouth again?

"Should I get another hero on this? Are you sure you want to handle him now?"

Oh. That doesn't sound good….. He needs Spiderman! If he got passed to another hero, that means Spiderman is totally mad! No! There was nothing he could do as he was dragged around in a cocoon of webs, though. It's not that he couldn't get himself free, but he really wanted Spiderman-the real one, to keep liking him.

"Are you masked? I'll arrive in about five minutes. I can slow down if you need more time."

Wait, did something happen to Spiderman? More time? The Junior Spiderman sounded hesitant in bringing him to his predecessor. Wait, the not-Spiderman is bringing him to Spiderman!

"Mmm-mmmm! Mm-mmmmm-mmmmm!"

"Come on, seriously? Did you hit your head on the way down, Spiderman? —Shut up, Deadpool!"

Wade could hear the irritation in the black-costumed Spiderman. Great.

"Fair? Fair! Nothing is fair in this situation! But, you know what? Fine! But I'm not leaving you alone with him, understand?"

What? Did he thought he would get to stay? Nope, nada. He doesn't want the kid Spiderman to be anywhere near his and real Spiderman's conversation. They were going to have a bromance talk that will affect his and Spidey's future relationship. The kid-Spider is obviously hating him, and his input would be very unwelcome.

Of course, not like he could say anything about it. He did kinda unalived their employer.

Evil employer, though. So there.

He wasn't sure where the black-spandex Spider was taking him, but when the familiar apartment became visible, he was breaking in cold sweat.

They're doing this in Peter Parker's apartment?

Wait, is the body still there?

Is Spiderman angry?

The junior Spiderman's grip on him became tighter, on the verge of being very painful. When the black mask finally regarded him, he could feel the glare through the mask.

"You do anything, Deadpool, I swear you'll regret it. I'm not as nice as my predecessor," the junior Spidey growled at him.

[Totally screwed]

'Shut up.'