Disclaimer: I do not own 'Naruto' or 'OnePunch Man'
I got writers block...AGAIN! It's like i'm cursed or something.
-:- Prologue -:-
"…"
Well, this certainly wasn't his balcony. What lay before him wasn't the view of the small z-ville he lived in, instead there was an endless supply of trees and shrubs. Saitama adopted the look of an egg with a sweat drop. "Huh?" The Caped Baldy turned around in a circle, once, twice, blinked. "Uh…" Glancing at his elephant watering can for an explanation, Saitama's dotted eyes widened as far as they could in unconcealed horror.
"AHHHHH! WHAT IS THIS!?"
His masculine body has been shrunken to a child! He had itty bitty hands to go with itty bitty feet and titty bitty legs to go with itty bitty ARMS! Saitama felt a cold shiver run down his spine in resentment.
"GOD DAMN FUCK SHIT! What is this situation-!"
Glancing back down at himself Saitama's eyebrow twitched. It seems that his pajama shirt was the thing that could stay put on his 'itty bitty' body. Feeling another wave of annoyance Saitama took deep breaths and clutched his elephant watering can close to his body. "This is bad, this is really bad. Who did I piss off this much to be turned into a kid?" As if said person was here Saitama's head snapped to a certain area of the forest he was in. "Oi! Whatever I did I'm sorry! TURN ME BACK! I wanna go home!"
Chirp. Chirp.
Scratching his head in irritation, he noticed that his head was still bald. Great, now he was a bald kid. Pff. Right, well he wasn't getting anywhere just standing there like an idiot. Taking a great pray-mantis stride Saitama fell face first into the dirt.
"SHIT!"
Getting back up he walked on unsteady feet. It didn't take long until he found a dirt road and headed in a random direction. When he finds civilization Saitama will hunt the bastard down who did this to him and punch his face in.
After he turns him back of course.
Wait, does he even have his strength? Pausing, Saitama rose up his pudgy arm and flexed.
Oh yes, he still has it.
-:-
Jiraiya massaged a bruise forming on the back of his head gingerly. Women these days, whether they're shinobi or civilians, they can really pack a punch. Sighing in despair at not being able to go back to those lovely beauties again made his heart ache. Ah well, there's always other villages. Although throughout time the list is beginning to shrink. Soon he'll have to resort to other measures such as studying from a distance.
It was then he spotted a small figure hobbling down towards him. Squinting in suspicion, suspicion quickly turned to confusion and slight worry. A scrawny kid covered in nothing but a top meant for an adult, clutching an elephant (?) watering can with a pissed off expression, was making his way towards his direction. The sight sent his entire women worries flying out the window. Kids like this reminded him of the depressing part of the world and the sick monsters out there that treated their kids like this. Parents were supposed to care for their children dammit. And without his consent the picture of a beaten up Naruto entered his mind. He hissed and shook his head, trying his darnest to ignore it. Huh, would you look at that, he just stabbed himself with his own words.
Glancing at the child that stumbled over his footing like a newborn baby, Jiraiya almost stumbled over his own at noticing that the kid's head was bald. As if on queue the perky head twinkled in the sunlight (Zing!) instantly blinding the Toad Sage. How could he have not noticed the baldness of the child in the first place? Rubbing his eyes furiously to regain his sight, the Toad Sage whined like a baby. Panicking over the thought of never being able to see Tsunade's glorious busts ever again.
There was a tug on his jacket. "Oi! Jiji, you ok?"
"I'm not old!" Jiraiya instantly replied without thought and looked down at the bald child that unexpectedly resembled an egg with eyes. "Ah, sorry kid. Didn't mean to lash out there."
-:-
What's up with him? Thought Saitama as he saw an old man with white hair that resembled a porcupine as the man thrashed about clutching his eyes. Swaying his way up to the man, Saitama gently tugged on the man's robe.
"Oi! Jiji, you ok?"
"I'm not old!" The old man cried out indignantly as if he was programmed to. Saitama blinked up at the man as if saying 'uh hu'. The man sheepishly smiled back. "Ah, sorry kid. Didn't mean to lash out there."
"I'm not a kid."
"…You're not?"
"I'm an adult. This is just temporary." The old man nodded sagely.
"We all have our off days."
"Ah! So you've experienced this too?" Quipped Saitama, startling the other man. "Do you know who's responsible?"
The old man paused. "Hah, sorry kiddo. I was just kidding."
"…Jiji that's mean." Saitama stated blandly before turning to walk away. "And I'm not a kid. I'm a hero." As he walked away Saitama could hear the pitter patter of those horridly red wooden sandals following him.
"Hmm, a hero you say. Like the great Sannin?" Saitama felt as though he was amusing him.
"What the heck is a Sannin?"
Gasp.
"You don't know the legendary tale of the great Sanin?!" The way the porcupine headed man was saying it made Saitama think he was offending him.
"No-"
"The story begins with three genin students." Oh God he's gonna tell him a story isn't he? "Their names are Tsunade, Jiraiya and Orochimaru." Yeah he is. "Tsunade is a feisty woman, blonde, beautiful and a nice rack. Jiraiya is a handsome devil and good with the ladies. As for Orochimaru, he's…well, he has a kink that involves snakes and is a bastard of a man-Anyway! As a team they accomplished a great many things, despite always beating up one another which Tsunade referred to as a 'three-way-deadlock' and -"
"GOOD GOSH!" Saitama cried. "You talk too much! 10 words or less jiji or I'll kick your ass!" Said old man gawked and looked at his fuming little body up and down.
"For such a tiny little bald thing you're very rude." His eye twitched.
"So what if I'm bald! Better than having your porcupine hair!"
The man blubbered. "P-p-porcupine hair!? Listen here you little-I'll have you know this hair is a special technique that can defend just about any sort of attack."
Saitama shut his mouth and examined the man's hair. Could this man be like him?
"Jiji do you exercise?" He doesn't think he's ever seen somebody so red before.
"Are you calling me fat!? Listen kid, before you in his manliness no female stands a chance, his telling of woes and falling for the ladies, he resides in the Village Hidden in the Leaves, his name is known far and wide…" Saitama could hear a faint clacking sound in the distance and sweat dropped as the man posed like a super model.
Clack!
Saitama blinked. "That's right soak it in kid. You are gazing at the legendary master Jiraiyaaaaa!"
Clackclacklack!
"Where's that clacking coming from?"
"JIRAIYAAAA!"
Clack!
"There it was again."
"Kid it's a genjitsu." Muttered Jiraiya. Ah! Jiraiya.
"Uh…so you're one of the Sanin's?" He asked and Jiraiya nodded enthusiastically. "What's a Sanin?" Jiraiya stared at him for a moment before sighing in defeat.
A dark cloud settled over the 'Legendary Master' and he hung his head. "I don't expect a bald kid like you to understand."
"SO WHAT IF I'M BALD!"
-:-
Jiraiya wasn't expecting the kid to be such a pistol.
The kid, who he still hasn't learnt the name of, huffed and began to walk again. The Toad Sanin contemplated on following or getting back to the leaf village. Some part inside of him screamed to help for poor little fella that kept on stumbling as he walked. The poor excuse of clothing just hovering over the dirt road. And that head…why on earth was the kid bald. He's what. Four or something years old
Yet the fight in his eyes is scary.
Darn it all to Kami, so what if he's a little late to report back to his sensei on the Akatsuki? He can't just leave a defenseless kid out in the open. With that mouth of his he'll get himself killed.
"Hey kid, where are you heading?"
"Why should I tell you? You're a creepy old man." Yup, that bluntness will get him killed.
"Just curious." Jiraiya sang and walked besides the little bald kid.
"Hmph," he seemed to think it over before nodding to himself. "I'm off to kill someone."
"Ah, really well that's nic…"
"Eh? Oi, Jiji you look pale. Are you eating well?" Jiraiya re-examined the kid before him and gulped. He hadn't noticed it before but something about him just screamed danger. Although he couldn't exactly know how that it with that egg-looking face of his. Is he really that dangerous?
"Hey, kid. What's you're name?"
"I'm Saitama." Weird name.
"What village do you belong to? A shinobi one?" At the word Shinobi the kid, Saitama, stared at him weirdly.
-:-