Gravity Falls:Written in the Stars Chapter 35: Adventures In Parentsitting, a gravity falls fanfic

Chapter Thirty Five

Adventures In Parentsitting

Although the week after GIFfany hijacked the brains of everyone in Gravity Falls was fairly uneventful (supernaturally speaking, at least), a lot of change happened within the Corduroy household. Pacifica, now an official family member, moved in—and so did Lexie.

After their only child was kidnapped and nearly married against her will, Lexie's parents decided that it would probably be good for her to spend time away from the pack for awhile. Their first suggestion had been that she move back home with them and return to her old school, since she was no longer feral. Lexie adamantly refused, however, and they finally agreed it was okay for her to stay in Gravity Falls as long as she moved out of the pack safe house, and into the home of responsible adults who knew about her "condition." Staying with the Corduroys was really Lexie's only option.

When Pacifica moved in, the former guest room became her bedroom. When Lexie moved in a couple days later, to avoid an all out territory war, Oliver gave her his bedroom, and took up residence on the living room sofa. There was nothing he could do, however, to prevent the three teenage girls in his household from squabbling over the house's only bathroom every morning.

The above squabbling tore him from his slumber once again on this particular Friday morning. He groaned and covered his face and ears with his pillow, but he could still hear the muffled argument.

"Geez, Paz, could you take any longer to put your warpaint on? I've been holding a shit for the last twenty minutes!"

Oliver snorted into his pillow. Lexie was the epitome of class, as always.

"Okay, ew," Wendy said flatly. "You are not stinking the bathroom up before I get a chance to shower."

She had a point. Humidity had the tendency to amplify smells.

"You should just take your shower at night, like I do," Pacifica said, somewhat haughtily.

Their voices rose in argument, each trying to talk over the other two, and Oliver hummed to himself under his pillow, trying to drown them out. He was concentrating so hard on ignoring the three teenagers, that when a hand grabbed his shoulder and shook it, he was startled into rolling off the sofa. He blinked blearily as the pillow was pulled from his face, and grinned up at Jessica, who stood over him, dressed for work, with her hands on her hips.

"'Morning, Jess," he said. "I can see up your nose."

"Charming," Jessica muttered, rolling her eyes while trying to suppress a smile. She held a hand out for Oliver to grab, and hoisted him to his feet. "You know, if you'd just stay in the master with me you could at least keep the door closed during the daily battle for the bathroom."

Oliver felt his cheeks grow warm, and he shook his head. "I—it's fine," he said, without meeting her eyes. "I wouldn't want to invade your space."

Jessica sighed. "After everything that happened, I thought..." she paused, then tentatively reached forward to grasp Oliver's hand. "I want you in my space, Ollie. Why are you avoiding me? Avoiding us?" she asked, squeezing his hand gently.

Oliver swallowed and pulled his hand back. It was then that he realized the background noise from the girls' argument had ceased. His head shot up and he narrowed his eyes at the totem pole of heads peering at him from around the bathroom door.

"Lexie, don't you have some business to be taking care of in there?" he asked flippantly. She stuck her tongue out at him in response. "Hurry up and finish getting ready, girls. Breakfast will be on the table in fifteen." With that he turned on his heel and headed toward the kitchen, leaving a disappointed Jessica in his wake.

A few minutes into her first period class, Aurora was called to the principal's office. Her classmates laughed and 'ooohed', as they did every time anyone was called to the office, but Aurora ignored them as she collected her things and left. She knew she wasn't in trouble. She was always very careful to follow the rules and be respectful of her teachers.

When she arrived at the office, she was proven correct. The principal was standing in front of the doors, his hand resting on the shoulder of a thin, black-haired young man with delicate, almost elfin features. He wore glasses with black plastic frames, and a self-conscious smile. Aurora smiled back automatically.

"Good morning, Aurora," the principal said to her, with a nod. "I'd like to introduce you to Ciril Whelp." He patted the young man's shoulder, whose cheeks flushed pink. "Ciril is a new student here at GFHS. He has only been homeschooled thus far, but he will be finishing his senior year of high school with us. I know that when you started here with us, your education had been… non-traditional. So I thought you'd be perfect to show our young friend around. Help him acclimatize to this radically new environment. I'd like you to spend the day with him, and answer any questions he might have."

"Of course, sir," Aurora said, nodding.

"Good girl," he said, patting her patronizingly on the head, before turning to head back into the office.

"Does he make a habit of treating the female populace of this school as golden retrievers?" asked Ciril, his voice soft and lyrical. He raised a questioning eyebrow at Aurora.

Aurora's brows drew together. "Sorry, what?"

Ciril's cheeks flushed a deeper shade of pink, and he mimed patting someone's head. "Good girl!" he said, exaggerating the words as someone talking to their pet might.

"Oh!" Aurora let out a surprised laugh. "No. Well, not really. I mean—maybe?"

Ciril quirked up his lips in a half-smile and shrugged. He looked up and down the hallway, and then back at Aurora. "So. School."

"Yes," Aurora replied. "School." She began to walk in the direction of the cafeteria, and motioned for Ciril to follow her.

"It smells quite like rubber and dirty laundry in here," Ciril remarked, craning his neck to take everything in as they walked. "Do all schools smell like this?"

Aurora shrugged. "No idea. This is the only school I've gone to."

"Oh yeah," Ciril said. "You had a 'non-traditional' education before coming here. Homeschooled?"

Aurora laughed. "No. Not schooled at all. I was only born—" She snapped her mouth closed when she realized what she'd almost told the new kid. He was really easy to talk to, for some reason.

Ciril stopped walking, so Aurora stopped as well.

"You were only... born? Is that code for something?" he asked. His glasses had slid down the bridge of his nose a bit, and he nudged them back up with a pointer finger. "I'm really good at code-breaking and riddles and stuff, if it is." He sounded genuinely excited.

Aurora shook her head. "No, sorry. English isn't my first language." (It was technically the truth). "Sometimes I say things wrong or get words mixed up." She took his elbow and steered him back to walking down the hall. "So have you always lived in Gravity Falls and just been homeschooled the whole time, or are you new to the area?"

"New," Ciril said. His shoulders sagged slightly. "I don't know anyone."

Aurora nudged him in the ribs and smiled brightly when he met her eyes. "Not true. You know one person, and she has a pretty cool group of friends she's planning to introduce you to. You're gonna do fine here, kid."

Faust eyed the principal's quick interaction with Aurora and Ciril through the glass doors of the main office, while fiddling idly with the copy machine. After the two students walked off down the hall he let himself back into his office and pulled his tablet from his desk drawer as he sat in his ergonomic desk chair with a thump. He pulled up the new student's school file, as well as his personal notes, collected from information relayed from sensors all over the town and inside the school. He flipped through the file and scrolled across his readings, then heaved a disappointed sigh. It would appear that there was nothing at all remarkable about Ciril Whelp.

"Pity," he muttered to himself, as he tucked the tablet back into its resting place in his drawer.

Faust's office door creaked open, and quickly clicked shut again. He looked up at his unannounced visitor with a bland smile. "Ah, I was wondering when you'd show up, little fish."

Oliver glowered at the old man and started around the desk, his fists balled at his sides, pausing his stride when Faust held up a finger and waggled it at him.

"Ah, ah, ah!" Faust intoned, a smarmy smile spread across his face. "For all intents and purposes, I am but a frail, helpless old man, and a faculty member in good standing here at Gravity Falls High School. You and your...sister-in-law? 'Baby mama'? Whatever she is to you—you and Jessica Corduroy are the ones around here with the rather checkered pasts. What would it look like for you to be arrested for assaulting your daughter's guidance counselor?"

Oliver bit the inside of his lower lip, fighting the urge to scream obscenities at the man. He shoved a finger in Faust's face, and said in a low voice, "You stay away from Jess and the kids. If you hurt any of them, I will fucking end you." He turned on his heel and strode to the door, placing his hand on the knob.

"What exactly do you think you're going to do to me, you impotent little fish?" Faust taunted at the back of Oliver's head. "It's not like you have powers anymore."

Oliver stiffened, every muscle in his body seeming to tense up. Without turning to respond, he pulled the door open and left.

Faust chuckled to himself and shook his head as he pulled his tablet back out of his drawer. He opened up the student records and began flipping through them until he landed on the one he was looking for.

"Maybe it's time I take on a new student," he murmured, a malicious smile forming on his lips as he stared down at the file of Dipper Pines.

When the lunch bell rang, Aurora led Ciril to the cafeteria. She stood in the lunch line with him, even though she had brought a packed lunch. He'd told her earlier how excited he was to try 'school food' for the first time. His enthusiasm had flagged a bit by the time they sat down and he really looked at the contents of his lunch tray. He poked at his rubbery salisbury steak with his fork, and glanced around the table at his companion's lunches.

"I take it there's a good reason you've all brought your lunches from home?" he asked Aurora.

She chuckled and nodded. "At least on salisbury steak day. Even Lexie won't touch the stuff, and she'll eat pretty much any kind of meat."

"Lexie?" Ciril said, looking at the teens around him curiously.

Lexie raised her hand. "Present. So who's the rando, 'Rora?"

Aurora shook her head, but smiled. "Your manners and tact are impeccable, as always, Lexie. Guys, this is Ciril Whelp. He's new in town, and up 'til now he's only been homeschooled, so I'm showing him around."

"Cool beans," Mabel spoke up. "Nice to meetcha, friendo. I'm Mabel Pines, and this dingus next to me is my twin brother, Dipper." She elbowed him and he held a hand up in greeting. "This ravishing creature on my other side is my girlfriend, Pacifica Corduroy." Pacifica blushed and waggled her fingers at the newcomer.

"Wow, I've never met anyone gay before," Ciril breathed, sounding nearly in awe. Everyone around him immediately burst into laughter, and he paled. "Unless you meant girlfriend like girl-who-is-your-friend, in which case I might need to go somewhere and die now."

"No, you were right the first time," Mabel said through her giggles. "We're super fucking gay. Sorry to laugh at you… but how adorably innocent is this guy?" She gestured at him and looked around at her friends, who were nodding in agreement.

Aurora shook her head and patted Ciril's hand. "No need to go anywhere and die, just yet. Okay, so more introductions. You've already met Lexie Osbourne, our resident carnivore. That's her boyfriend, Gideon Gleeful," she said, pointing him out. Gideon nodded.

Ciril leaned in toward Aurora and whispered in her ear. "Gleeful?"

Aurora's lips twitched upward and she nodded.

"Sugar, your last name is Whelp," Gideon drawled, raising an eyebrow at the new kid. "You're not really one talk, are you?"

Ciril met Gideon's gaze, his mouth quirked into a half-smile. "Touché."

Lexie placed her elbows on the table and leaned toward Ciril, who sat across from her. "Your last name implies werewolf lineage, but I don't smell it on you," she said, sniffing loudly. "Nothing. Weird."

Ciril leaned back in his seat, and chuckled awkwardly. "Werewolf lineage? What is—are you guys hazing me? Is that what this is?"

Aurora tried to discretely kick Lexie under the table, but she missed and struck Gideon in the shin.

"OW what the fuck, 'Rora?" Gideon yelped.

Aurora forced a loud laugh. "Of course not, Ciril! Lexie just has a weird sense of humor. We all know you're a completely normal human being." She spoke the last four words while staring down her friends, then continued. "Like we all are."

Ciril frowned and shrugged. "Weird emphasis, but okay." He stabbed his fork into his mashed potatoes and let go of it, making a face when it remained vertically upright due to the cement-like consistency of the side dish. Leaving his fork where it was, he made eye contact with the only person who hadn't already been introduced to him.

"Sorry, I don't think I got your name, did I?" he asked the flannel-clad redhead sitting next to Dipper.

"Wendy Corduroy," she said, with no further elaboration. She didn't smile at Ciril. Her gaze kept flicking back to Aurora next to him.

"She's Dipper's girlfriend," Aurora added. Her cheeks took on a pink tinge as she met Wendy's eyes.

"Cool, cool," said Ciril. Then, "Hold the phone. Corduroy? Are you two related?" he asked, gesturing from Wendy to Pacifica. "You look nothing alike."

"Biologically, no," Pacifica told him. "Legally, yes, though only recently. Wendy's dad adopted me. It's a long story."

"OOOH, speaking of Wendy's (and Pacifica's) dad—what's up with him and Mrs. Corduroy?" Lexie asked. "Based on what happened at the house this morning, I'm getting the vibe that Oliver is having some commitment issues."

"What kind of 'commitment' issues, sugar?" Gideon asked. "Because I've been wondering about them, myself. I mean, are they even a couple? It really seemed like after Oliver returned from the de-" Gideon paused and glanced at Ciril before continuing. "From the vacation he'd been on, that they were going to be an item. But they haven't really been acting like it."

Mabel elbowed Pacifica. "Paz, this is the kind of stuff you're supposed to tell me," she hissed. "What's wrong with Oliver and Jessica's relationship? I need to know if I'm gonna fix it for them!"

Dipper pressed a hand to his face and shook his head slowly. "Aaand here we go. Matchmaker Mabel Mode activated."

Pacifica sighed. "You started this, Lexie. You tell her what we saw when we were fighting over the bathroom this morning."

Ciril frowned and looked at Lexie. "Wait, you live with them, too? Are you all three related?"

"Short answer for you," Lexie said. "Yes, and no. It's complicated." She turned her attention back to Mabel then. "When I moved in, Oliver let me have his bedroom. Instead of shacking up with Mama C, which would have been the perfect excuse to, if he was looking for one, he's been sleeping on the living room sofa. This morning we overheard Jessica asking him why he's been avoiding her, and, I quote, 'avoiding us.' He looked like a deer in headlights when she asked him that. Luckily for him, that's when he noticed the three of us eavesdropping, and shut her down by saying he was going to make breakfast."

Mabel sucked her teeth. "Oof. What the heck is his problem? Sounds like Jessica is practically begging him to be with her!" She crossed her arms over her chest. "Hmmph, fine. That's it, then. I hereby decree that our hangout is officially changing to be the Corduroy/Osbourne household. We are going to parent-sit this weekend—longer if we have to—until we figure out how to extricate the stick that is so firmly lodged in Oliver's asshole, and force him and Jessica to have their happily-ever-after."

Ciril, who had been listening to Mabel's rant with wide eyes, raised his hand like he was in class. "Sorry, but Oliver is Wendy's (and Pacifica's) dad, but he and Wendy's mom aren't together… but they share a last name and live in the same house… and Wendy's mom wants to be (but isn't?) with the father of her child? Am I getting this correctly?"

Mabel nodded. "See, Wendy never knew Oliver was—"

"Mabel," Wendy hissed, glaring at her and cutting her off. "The new kid doesn't need to know my complicated family history." She turned her icy gaze to Ciril then. "Just drop it, okay? I don't know you, and my family is none of your business."

Ciril's shoulders sank, and his expression instantly went from excited interest to hurt confusion. "I'm sorry," he mumbled, looking down at his hands, his cheeks crimson. "I've never really had fr—I mean, my social skills aren't the best, due to always being homeschooled. I shouldn't have stuck my nose in your business."

"It's okay, Ciril, don't feel bad," Aurora said quickly, putting an arm around his shoulders and giving him a quick squeeze. "The situation is very complicated. Maybe as we hang out with you more we can better explain things."

"Don't hold your breath," Wendy muttered, crossing her arms over her chest. Aurora knew this kid for half a day, and she was already acting like he was her bestie. Mabel was overly friendly with him too. As Wendy sat back, sullenly taking small bites of her ham and cheese, she listened to Mabel and Ciril chat excitedly about different matchmaking tactics. It turned out that Ciril had done a lot of "research" on matchmaking, because he'd had no way to meet people his own age. He'd apparently convinced his parents to send him to GFHS to finish out his senior year after he'd done a science project on the benefits of relationships on mental health.

During the observed conversation, Wendy noticed that Ciril kept looking to Aurora for her input or approval. Aurora's face was flushed as she smiled widely and added her say to the conversation. Wendy had to sit her sandwich down because her hands were shaking.

Dipper noticed. "Wen, what's wrong?" he whispered. "You're not still upset that the new kid was so interested in your family dynamics, are you?"

Wendy frowned. "What if I am? Aurora just met this kid and she's already acting like he's an old friend. Mabel, too."

Dipper laid his hand on top of hers and intertwined their fingers. "You say that like it's a bad thing, Wen. With Mabel—well, you know her—she's best friends with anyone that's even a little nice to her. And," he murmured, leaning in closer, speaking more softly into her ear, "it might be a good thing for Aurora to have someone to dote on… I'm sure she'd tired of feeling like a third wheel all the time."

Wendy felt the heat rise in her face. She yanked her hand out from underneath Dipper's, and crossed her arms over her chest again, letting her long, red hair fall in a sheet over the side of her face closest to her boyfriend.

"Y-yeah, I guess you're right," she said softly. Dipper opened his mouth to ask her what was really going on, but the bell rang, cutting him off.

As everyone stood and began to clean up their lunch trash, Mabel spoke loudly. "Okay, remember, the plan is to meet at the Corduroy's after school. Got it?"

"Oh, actually I can't go right after school," Aurora said as she crumpled up her brown paper bag. "I'm on babysitting duty at the Mystery Shack most of this weekend."

"Gotcha. Lexie, Gideon, will you be there?"

Gideon glanced at Lexie and she shrugged nonchalantly. "Yeah, we'll be there," he answered Mabel.

"Awesomesauce," Mabel said, rubbing her palms together. "Operation Parent-Sitting will commence this afternoon, as planned."

When Aurora arrived at the Mystery Shack that afternoon, she was surprised to see an unfamiliar, dark-haired young teen boy behind the counter.

"Hi, welcome to the Mystery Shack!" he said enthusiastically. "Are you here for a tour? Or perhaps I can help you find something in the gift shop?"

Aurora blinked at the young man. She kept her eyes trained on him, while turning her head slightly toward the 'employees only' door.

"Uh, Melody?" she called loudly.

"She's busy right now, but I'm sure I can help you with whatever you need," the boy said. His tone was neutral and polite, and Aurora was incredibly confused.

She was saved from having to respond to the boy, however, by the 'employees only' door creaking open. Melody swept through, baby Stanley cradled against her shoulder.

"Sorry, 'Rora! I meant to be out here for introductions when you got here, but I had a stinky diaper to change." The last part of her sentence was said in a baby-talk voice as she nuzzled her nose into Stanley's cheek. He cooed happily at her. She grinned and continued. "Aurora, this is Rey. I hired him to help out around the shop some. He's new to Gravity Falls. His dad seems to always be busy, so Rey took to hanging around the shop this week. Figured I could get a little extra help by putting him to work, and he gets a paycheck to spend on video games or whatever you Gen Z kids are into these days. Win-win!"

"Oh," Aurora said, bemused. Two new kids in one day. "Well, it's nice to meet you, Rey. I'm Aurora. I'm this little stinker's babysitter," she said, nodding to Stanley, who had noticed Aurora's voice, and appeared to be looking around for her. "He's my favorite little man."

Melody held the baby out and Aurora took him, kissing him on the forehead before embracing him to her shoulder.

"Nice to meet you, Aurora," Rey said, his fake, shopkeeper enthusiasm replaced by what sounded like genuine warmth. "He seems to really like you."

Melody laughed. "He really does. She talks to him like she expects him to answer, and I think he appreciates that level of respect… as much as an infant can, I guess." She chuckled and shook her head as she moved around the counter to stand behind the till with Rey. "I swear it's like she reads his mind sometimes."

"Pfft, nonsense," Aurora said, flapping her free hand at Melody. "I just have a very good memory of being young and confused by this intimidating, new world. Now, has he breastfed recently, or will he need a bottle soon?" She noticed the tips of Rey's ears turn red when she said 'breast,' and had to resist the urge to laugh as the boy shifted uncomfortably from foot to foot.

"He breastfed about an hour ago, so he'll probably want a bottle in about another hour or so. I pumped earlier today, so use the breastmilk that's in the fridge instead of thawing the frozen," Melody said, seemingly oblivious to Rey's discomfort at the two women's use of the term 'breast' in front of him.

"Sounds good. I'll holler into the baby monitor if I need you for anything," she said to Melody, as she carried Stanley toward the door to the main house. "It was nice to meet you Rey," she called over her shoulder. As she opened the door and disappeared through it, her voice carried enough for Rey and Melody to hear her tell baby Stanley that she "met a new boy at school today."

When Melody turned to Rey to talk to him about his training, she was taken aback by his malevolent glare toward the door through which Aurora and baby Stanley had just disappeared. He looked like he wanted to kill someone.

"Rey, you okay?" she asked hesitantly. He jerked as if startled, and immediately his expression snapped back to placid and friendly.

"Of course," he said with a smile. "Is it time for me to learn how to use the cash register?"

"Jess. You're... home early," Oliver wheezed as he shut the front door behind him and leaned over, his hands on his knees, to catch his breath. The collar and chest of his thin gray t-shirt was soaked through with sweat, and he wore black track pants and running shoes.

Jessica, seated on the sofa and holding a cup of tea, glanced over at the clock. "Not really. Usually I just stay later than I should to get grading done so I don't have to bring it home. Since when did you take up jogging? I've asked you to come with me like a million times."

Oliver straightened up and peeled off his t-shirt, gripping it loosely in one hand. "Not jogging. Trail running. Interval training. Lexie gave me the idea. She says it's how she keeps up her endurance, even when she doesn't take wolf form very often." He glanced down at his lean physique and shook his head. "Huh. I don't think I'll ever get used to not seeing myself covered in scars and tattoos."

Jessica looked him slowly up and down, then raised an eyebrow at him. "Well, I, for one, prefer it this way."

The redness of Oliver's already flushed face took on a deeper tone. "What's that supposed to mean?"

Jessica leaned back into the couch cushion slightly, surprised by his defensiveness. "Nothing bad! I mean, obviously I liked your body… before..." She glanced down and took a quick sip of her tea before continuing. "But all those awful scars… they were just reminders of how many times you'd been hurt. Some of them were clearly from life-threatening injuries. But now it's like you're… just you, again. No magic eating at your soul little-by-little. You're not suffering while holding the weight of the world on your shoulders. You're the Ollie I used to know."

Oliver took a deep breath, and gripped the t-shirt so tightly in his fist that he inadvertently squeezed a few drops of sweat down onto the floor. "So what, now that I got a 'do-over,' you think it's like none of what came before really happened?"

Jessica's eyes widened. "That's not what I—"

"Because those 'awful' scars I accumulated? That started long before Pike took over my body full-time. The things I did to myself to gain enough power to protect you—" his voice faltered. "The things I fought, so that you wouldn't have to…" His whole body was shaking now. "My deepest—my worst scars—" He touched his chest. "They were for you."

Jessica's chin was trembling. She sat her mug on the coffee table and stood up. "Ollie, I didn't—I—I never asked that of you! How could I? You were my best friend!"

It was as if a dam had burst, and no matter what Jessica said to him, words just kept pouring from Oliver's mouth. "And now I'm fucking useless, Jess! And even more is at stake! I have two daughters I love to pieces, and this motley group of kids they hang with, every one of whom I would die for. I can try and train them, but trouble always seems to find them—and you—and I can't do a fucking thing!"

"That's not true, dad."

Oliver whirled around upon hearing Wendy's voice, and Jessica's hand flew to her mouth. Apparently while the two of them had been arguing, Wendy, Pacifica, and nearly all their friends had come in through the front door, and were crowded in the vestibule behind Oliver.

"How long have you been standing there?" Oliver asked, his voice low.

"Um," Wendy said, looking down at her shoes.

Pacifica sighed and rubbed the back of her neck, not meeting Oliver's eyes as she said, "Since: 'My worst scars—they were for you.'"

The room was dead silent for several seconds, save for Lexie's murmured "Awkward."

"Dad, you're not useless," Wendy said, finally picking up on her original thought. "Your training has kept us alive more times than we can count. And even without your magic you can still train us, like you did with Mabel and the ping pong balls."

Oliver shook his head. "Training you isn't the same thing as being in the midst of the fight with you. As physically protecting you, or magically warding you. I can't just train you, then sit back and relax while you all go off and fight for your lives. Last week, when Lexie was in trouble and Gideon was..." He paused and glanced up at the white-haired boy, who gave him a solemn nod. "I ended up having some very important business to take care of with Pacifica at the sheriff's department, but if I hadn't, there's no way I would have been able to let you all go off without me. But I know that in the heat of the moment I'd have tried to fight like I could when I still had magic. Before I… came back. Without any magic, I would have been less than useless. I'd probably have gotten myself and some of you hurt. So I've started training my physical body so I can get it back into some kind of fighting shape. I won't be useless while you go into a battle ever again."

"We already lost you once, Ollie," Jessica said softly, coming up behind him and placing a hand on his shoulder. "You died to save us...to save me. We all love you, and we can't lose you again. We miss having you fight by our side, but we don't want you to anymore."

Oliver didn't respond. His jaw was clenched, the muscles twitching. He stared slightly down and to his left, at nothing in particular.

"Oliver, you used to kick major ass." Lexie said. "You taught me tricks, and made me even deadlier in a fight than I already was. You're still badass, and I want to keep training with you—but no matter how much training and conditioning you do, I'm not sure it would be possible for you to get your strength back to where it was when it was magically augmented."

"Exactly," added Dipper. "We worry that you'd rush in to fight alongside us, and like you just said a minute ago, you'd try to fight the way you could before you lost your magic. You'd be a liability, and we'd all focus on protecting you because of how much it tore us apart to lose you the first time."

Oliver's head shot up and he met his former mentee's eyes, a look of betrayal on his face. "That's below the fucking belt, Dipper. I'm painfully aware that I'm a useless liability. That's why I decided to start training—so I can be helpful in a fight. And you wouldn't have to protect me. I'd be careful!"

"No," Mabel said with a sigh. "That's just it, Oliver. We know you better than that. You have a tendency to throw yourself headlong into danger when those you care about are involved."

"Dad, you spent your entire...previous life… as a protector," Wendy added. "It's written in your bones. If you fight alongside us, the moment one of us looks overwhelmed, or the tide of the battle seems to be turning against us, your primary instinct would be to protect us, (which, without magic, would likely involve you doing something stupid and reckless) rather than work with us as a team to defeat our enemy together. At some point you have to trust us to use the knowledge you instilled in us through training to save ourselves."

Oliver glanced around at Wendy, Pacifica, Dipper, Mabel, Lexie, and Gideon, his gaze finally coming to rest on Jessica.

"Buffy and her friends should have let me stay dead," he said, his voice devoid of emotion. "I was more useful as worm food."

He pushed past the cluster of teenagers and yanked his leather jacket off a hook by the door, donning it over his naked upper half, his sweaty t-shirt lying forgotten in a crumpled heap on the floor.

Without turning to face his stunned audience, he announced, "I'm going out for the weekend." Then he left, shutting the door a little too firmly behind him. In seconds, the roar of his motorcycle tore through the air, rattling the window panes before fading into the distance.

It felt like five minutes before anyone spoke. Finally Wendy broke the silence with a shaky breath. "Why would he say something like that? He's not gonna—you don't think he's planning to—" She couldn't finish her question. She began to hyperventilate, and Dipper grabbed her hand and led her over to the sofa to sit down.

"No, no, no, baby," Jessica cooed, depositing herself on the couch next to her daughter and taking her hand. "Your dad has always had a flair for dramatic exits, but he'd never—he's just upset."

"Why is he suddenly so upset, though?" asked Pacifica. "After he came back from being dead he told us himself that his magic was gone, and he seemed one-hundred percent okay with the fact."

Dipper nodded. "That's right. He seemed happy that his powers were gone, and he could live a 'normal' life. What changed?"

"Is it my fault?" asked Gideon softly. He still stood back near the door, his hands in his pockets. "He wasn't acting like this before the whole chimera thing happened last week."

"Of course it isn't your fault, Gid," Lexie said defensively, linking an arm through his, and staring down everyone in the room, daring them to say otherwise.

Mabel shook her head. "It might have started before he knew about the chimera—when we heard you were kidnapped, Lexie, he was completely ready to go into battle with the rival werewolf pack if that's what it came down to. Had me and Pacifica searching for his silver-tipped crossbow bolts. We," she glanced sidelong at Pacifica, "actually tried to talk him out of going for pretty much the same reasons we've discussed today."

Pacifica nodded and took her girlfriend's hand, interlacing their fingers, before picking up where Mabel left off. "We told him we were worried that without his magic, he'd end up getting himself killed, and we couldn't let him do that to Wendy and Jessica again. Well, that pissed him right off, and I don't think we'd have been able to stop him from coming with us, but then Sheriff Blubs knocked on the door and he and I had to—well, you know the rest."

Dipper sighed, sat down next to Wendy, and laid his head on the back of the sofa. "I mean, the things that happened last weekend were the biggest issues we've dealt with since Oliver's been back. Maybe he thought he was fine stepping away from being our mentor and fighting alongside us, but when shit got real, he is absolutely not okay with it at all?"

"That's probably it," Jessica said, stroking Wendy's hair. She knew Faust also played a major role in Oliver's renewed protective instincts, but now wasn't the time to bring him—and her past with him—up. He'd avoided talking to her about Faust all week, but a colleague had mentioned seeing Oliver storm out of the main office earlier that day, so Jessica's natural assumption was that Oliver had attempted a confrontation with the old man—and that it hadn't gone well.

In truth, that was Jessica's reason for rushing home after work today. She'd hoped to talk to Oliver about the Faust situation before the kids got there. Unfortunately, that plan had failed. It was a conversation that had to happen, however. With a sigh, Jessica stood up from the sofa.

"Listen, kids, I need to find Oliver and talk to him about what's really going on. I'm going after him, to Seattle. Wendy, Pacifica, Lexie, the fridge is stocked, and there's a couple twenties hidden under the cookie jar if you want to order pizza or something. I know you kids can take care of yourselves—just—don't be irresponsible, okay? I might not be back until tomorrow or Sunday, depending on how long it takes me to track Oliver down."

Jessica met Wendy's eyes, and her daughter nodded her head solemnly. "Okay, well—bye, then. Be safe," she said. On her way out the front door she grabbed her go-bag, which was always packed and ready in case of emergencies. She tossed the bag in her trunk, then climbed into the driver's seat of her sedan. Taking a moment to collect her thoughts and just breathe, she gripped the steering wheel and leaned forward, resting her head against it, her eyes closed. The sound of three car doors opening and closing startled her, and she jerked her head up. Wendy was sitting in the front passenger seat, strapping on her seat belt. A glance into the rear view mirror told Jessica that Pacifica, Mabel, and Dipper had also joined her.

"What…?" Jessica uttered, her brow furrowed.

Wendy shrugged and smiled. "You thought we'd let you just go after him alone?"

Lexie stood at the open front door, watching Jessica drive off to Seattle with Wendy, Dipper, Mabel, and Pacifica in tow. Once the car was out of sight, she shut the door and locked it, then turned on her heel to face Gideon. He was leaning casually against the vestibule wall, his arms crossed over his chest, a small smile playing on his lips.

"So," Lexie said, as she sauntered toward him. "I finally have you all to myself, witchy boy. In an empty house. All. Alone." She reached out and grabbed his shirt collar, pulling him to her. His lips were on hers in seconds and they kissed hungrily. They hadn't really had the chance to be alone together since the events of last week, so this felt long overdue.

Lexie pulled back and smiled up at Gideon, a mischievous glint in her eye. "Hey Gid, wanna see my bedroom?"

Gideon let out a shuddering breath. "Hell yeah I do, sugar."

Lexie bit her lower lip and grabbed his hand, leading him to the first door down the hallway. She paused at the door. "I haven't decorated or anything, since I'm here temporarily, so it's actually all Oliver's stuff in the room… but the bed is very nice."

The only reply Gideon was able to force from his throat was low groan as Lexie opened the door and pulled him inside. He'd never been in Oliver's room before, but it was exactly how he expected it to look—a chaotic mess of musty, old books, and assorted weaponry. Runes for protection and courage were painted on the walls, along with some unfamiliar sigils that Gideon couldn't decipher. He made a mental note to ask Oliver about them sometime. Right now, however, he had other things on his mind.

Lexie let go of Gideon's hand and turned to face him. "So what now?" she asked, her voice low, and her face flushed pink.

Gideon smiled down at her and ran the back of his hand across her cheek softly. "Whatever you want, sugar," he murmured, leaning down, his face so close to Lexie's that their lips were nearly touching. "Anything you want."

Lexie's eyes had started to change color with their kiss minutes ago, and now they were completely turned, glowing a pure, radiant amber. "I'd hoped you'd say that," she breathed.

In one swift motion, almost too quick for Gideon to comprehend, Lexie had spun him around, pushed him down on the bed, and climbed on top of him. She pinned him to the mattress with her body and kissed him deeply, twining her fingers through his hair, before pulling her lips from his, and moving to his neck.

Gideon groaned, his hips bucking upward involuntarily as Lexie began nibbling a sensitive spot at the base of his throat. "Sug—sugar," he panted, gripping the back of her shirt with white knuckles. He was utterly baffled, then, when Lexie suddenly rolled off him.

"Oh, fuck! Shit, shit, shit," she hissed, banging the back of her head against the mattress, her eyes scrunched shut.

"Lex, what's wrong?" Gideon asked, leaning up on one arm so he could look down at her. "Are you okay, sugar?"

Lexie sighed and opened her eyes, which still glowed amber. "Gideon, remember how when we started dating, I said we had to be really careful, because if I was too rough and accidentally scraped you with my teeth, you'd become a werewolf?"

Gideon frowned and nodded. "Well, yeah. But then the situation changed, and you did bite me so I wouldn't vamp out, and the whole chimera thing happened, which rendered that fear moot?"

"Right," said Lexie, with a small nod. "But the chimera's gone now, Gid. And, I mean, good riddance and all, except that now we're back to square one on the 'me having to be extra careful to not accidentally turn you' front."

Gideon couldn't help it—a low chuckle slipped out. "Sugar," he said, but Lexie cut him off.

"What exactly about this is funny?" she snapped, her eyes momentarily flashing yellow.

In answer, Gideon rolled on top of her. With his hands on either side of her head, he lowered himself down until he had her pinned to the mattress, and they were nose to nose. He grinned as he spoke.

"Oh yeah, I forgot to mention—I talked to Oliver about that. He said that by getting rid of the chimera the way we did, I'm essentially immune from being turned by werewolves and vampires from now on."

Lexie stared at him silently for several moments while what he said sank in. Then, with feral growl from deep in her chest, she flipped Gideon and straddled him, yanking his shirt over his head with such force that he heard the fabric rip. She ran her fingers over his chest, and smirked as he shuddered at her light touch.

"I'm gonna make you pay for keeping that information from me, witchy boy," she said, as she sat back to pull off her sweatshirt. After she tossed it behind her, she leaned back down and whispered in his ear. "Lucky for you, I think you're gonna like the way I plan to make you pay."

The car ride to Seattle was uneventful, if not a bit awkward. Any attempt to ask Jessica questions, especially ones about Oliver, were met with brusque, one-word answers. While not entirely unhappy about their company, she wasn't thrilled that they'd be there when she confronted Oliver. She needed to talk to him about Faust, and what her former mentor might be planning. She'd have preferred to have that talk prior to informing the kids of Faust's real identity. Because she knew, sooner or later, the kids were going to find out. Better it come from Jessica and Oliver, as a united front.

It was late evening when Jessica finally parallel parked in front of their destination—the one place she knew Oliver would run when he was upset.

"Hey, I've been here," Dipper spoke up from the back seat. Jessica glanced up at him in the rear view mirror. It was dark by now, but the neon lights from the signage over the bar cast a red and blue glow over his pale face.

"What?" she spat, surprised. "He brought you to a bar?"

"Well, yeah… back when he was Pike. Don't worry, though—even as Pike he wouldn't let me drink. This is where we met Lillith for the first time."

Jessica felt her lip curl into a sneer at the demoness's name. "Let's hope that Luther is now catering to a higher echelon of clientele, shall we?"

At the mention of Luther, Pacifica perked up. "Luther owns a bar? This bar?"

Jessica frowned, and adjusted the rear view mirror so she could see Pacifica. "Yes..? You saw him at Ol—at the funeral. Did he not strike you as the bar-owning-type?"

Pacifica's eyes lit up at the realization. "That's where I knew him from! I knew I'd seen him somewhere before. He sure cleans up nice."

Jessica opened her mouth to ask what Pacifica was talking about, but Wendy cut her off.

"C'mon, mom. You drove us all this way to find dad. Let's go in and find him. We can talk inside."

Jessica snapped her mouth shut and nodded. The group clambered out of the car and into the dimly lit dive bar.

"Hey lady, this ain't a family establishment," a young bar tender called out from the opposite side of the room. "No minors."

Jessica approached the bar, bewildered. "I'm sorry, I thought Luther would—" she began.

"Jessica Corduroy!" boomed a loud voice, cutting her off. Luther had poked his head out from the swinging kitchen door behind the bar. "And your younglings! To what does my humble establishment owe this honor?"

The young bar tender shook his head and went to work the opposite end of the bar, leaving an open space which Luther quickly occupied. He favored the group with a wide, gap-toothed smile, shooting Pacifica a small wink. He definitely no longer looked like a lawyer. He wore a muscle shirt, leaving his colorful tattoo sleeves on full display.

"Hi Luther," Jessica said. "Have you seen Oliver? He roared off on his bike earlier today in a huff, but we need to talk to him about something important."

"Vitally important," Mabel chimed in, at Jessica's elbow. She was still in matchmaker mode.

"Why don't you kids go grab a table and I'll set you up with a round of Cokes," Luther said, nodding toward the area in front of the makeshift stage. They all turned to head in that direction, except Pacifica. Jessica frowned at her, but when Pacifica spoke up, she addressed Luther.

"I'll go sit in just a sec," she said, her cheeks pink. "But I never got to thank you for everything you did for me. Is it okay—can I give you a hug?"

Luther laughed and stepped out from behind the bar, holding his arms wide. "You absolutely can!"

Pacifica pushed past Jessica and embraced the large man tightly, while he patted her back. After she let go, she whispered "Thank you," once more, before wiping her watering eyes, and turning to head over to her friends.

As Luther returned to his place behind the bar and began gathering glasses for the Cokes, Jessica sat on the bar stool in front of her and leaned over the counter.

"What the hell was that about?" she whispered.

Luther chuckled as he began to fill the glasses with Coke. "Oliver had me help him, er, 'talk' her parents into signing the adoption papers."

Jessica gasped, scandalized. "If the Northwests claim they were coerced to sign by threat of violence, the adoption could very well be invalidated!" she hissed.

Luther chucked again and shook his head. "It weren't nothing like that, Jess. You know Oliver's smarter than that. Naw, I dressed up nice and pretended to be his lawyer." He held up a hand when he saw Jessica's mouth open in protest. "Don't worry—the documents they signed are legal documents. And they signed in the presence of the sheriff and his deputy. Technically, a lawyer didn't even need to be present. Oliver just figured that 'his lawyer' being there would help impress upon the Northwests how very serious he was about them relinquishing guardianship of their daughter to him."

Finally satisfied by his answers, Jessica leaned back. She drummed her fingers on the bar top as she asked, "He hasn't been in, has he?"

Luther began decorating the drinks with little umbrellas. He shook his head. "No, I haven't seen him since he adopted Miss Thang over there. Talked to him on the phone a couple days ago, though. He said things were 'really complicated.' Not sure if he was talkin' about the magical aspect of the town, or his relationship with you, though."

Jessica felt the blood rush to her cheeks. "I never said—"

Luther raised an eyebrow at her. "You didn't have to. I've been tending bar for over twenty years, Jess. I might as well be a therapist."

Jessica forced a laugh. "Well, if you haven't seen him, I guess the kids and I should go..."

"No you don't," Luther said. "You and the kids are going to stay here awhile and drink these complimentary Cokes. Who knows? Maybe he'll eventually show up here." Without waiting for an answer, he carried the tray of drinks around the bar, and toward the table.

Jessica followed with a sigh. He had a point.

"Umbrellas!" Mabel squealed as she took her drink from Luther. "So fancy!" She and Pacifica giggled and clinked glasses. Wendy pulled the purple paper umbrella from her drink and tucked it behind her ear, like one would a flower. Dipper grinned at the pink umbrella resting in his glass. It reminded him of this first visit here, with Pike. He glanced over at the empty stage and wondered if anyone would be playing tonight.

"Whatcha thinkin' about?" Wendy asked, bumping his arm lightly with an elbow.

"I was wondering if there was going to be any live music tonight," he said. "Last time I was here, Oliver played a few songs on a beat-up old acoustic. He was great! I was also surprised to find out that he can sing."

Jessica had been listening to them as she sipped her Coke. "He still plays?" she asked, stunned.

"Well, at least at that point he did," Dipper said with a shrug. "Why did you think he stopped?"

"I was the person who taught him to play. I gave him his first guitar," she said softly. "I figured he'd dropped all that—everything he associated with me—when I went full evil."

"I doubt he dropped playing guitar," said Dipper, pausing to take a gulp of his drink. "Because he was really well-practiced. Didn't seem rusty at all. In fact there were some really enthusiastic ladies—apparently regulars here—Luther referred to them as Pike's 'fan club.'"

Jessica tried to hide her scowl behind her drink. It's not like she had a claim to Oliver back then. She didn't even know if she had a claim to him right now, even after he came back from the dead and told her 'it's always been you, Jessie.'

Mabel noticed Jessica's scowl, however, and elbowed Pacifica, whispering in her girlfriend's ear. "Ask her about what you overheard this morning! She's vulnerable!"

Pacifica shot her the side-eye before gently clearing her throat and following Mabel's instructions. "So, Jessica," she said casually, "why do you think Oliver is avoiding you? Or 'us'" she said, using air quotes, "as Wendy, Lexie, and I overheard you say to him this morning?"

Jessica had unfortunately been mid-gulp when Pacifica surprised her with the question. She spat a fine mist of Coke across the table, and began a coughing fit. Wendy, sitting directly next to her mom and therefore out of the splash zone, simultaneously thumped Jessica on the back and passed around napkins.

"I didn't realize you girls heard that," Jessica wheezed, when she could finally breathe again.

Wendy shrugged. "You were facing away from us. Why did you think dad suddenly changed the subject and said he had to go make breakfast?"

Jessica's shoulders sagged slightly. "Oh. Is it bad that I just took his abrupt subject change as a normal reaction for Oliver when I try to talk to him about anything important anymore?"

"Yes," Mabel said emphatically. "It is. After the way he went out, sacrificing himself for you, we all know he loves you. You know he loves you. He knows he loves you. I fail to see his problem. You both love each other? You be with each other." She looked over at Dipper. "Is this just a guy thing? I recall you having some drama about who you should be with awhile back."

Dipper shot a quick glance at a crimson-faced Wendy before glaring at his sister. "That situation was entirely different and is not relevant at all to this discussion." The group sat in awkward silence for a moment, until Dipper spoke again, slowly. "Unless…"

All eyes honed in on him, and he was particularly aware of the narrowed green pair next to him. He chose his words carefully. "I was thinking… different people… Pike and Oliver…" He cleared his throat and looked up at Jessica. "Maybe he's just not sure how to proceed? As Oliver, I mean. He was stuck as Pike for so long, and as Pike, he," Dipper felt the tips of his ears heat up. "He was pretty much obsessed with a certain Slayer of vampires. I mean, he had her name tattooed around his heart."

Jessica looked down at her hands, and appeared to be holding back tears. Mabel kicked Dipper under the table, and he continued. "But that was as Pike. Before he was killed, Pike and Ollie integrated back into one, whole person—Oliver. And we know Oliver loves you, Jessica. But after everything that's happened, and continues to happen, maybe he's just not sure how to proceed? Scared, even, to let himself be so vulnerable, when he no longer has the power to protect those he loves the way he used to?"

Jessica, Wendy, and Pacifica stared at Dipper slack-jawed, while Mabel shot her brother a grin and a thumbs up.

Dipper shifted in his seat, uncomfortable with being stared at. He drained his remaining Coke, and wiped his mouth. "Well, Oliver's obviously not here," he said, pushing his chair back and standing up. "Maybe we should check out his church."

Baby Stanley was restless, so Aurora was walking him around the Mystery Shack, a gentle bounce to her step as she held him against her shoulder and patted his back. She had just stepped out onto the porch when she was rewarded with a large belch in her ear. Luckily there was no accompanying wetness trickling down her shoulder. She'd left the spit-up rag inside.

"He burps just like his namesake, doesn't he?" Melody asked, smiling almost proudly, as she stepped out onto the porch to join Aurora, followed closely by Rey.

Aurora giggled. "Yes, he's very manly."

Rey rolled his eyes as he walked past Aurora to sink down onto the old sofa that decorated the porch.

"Well, Rey and I just closed up shop, so I can go ahead and take Stanley now," Melody said, holding out her arms, into which Aurora quickly deposited the baby. As she was taking Stanley, Melody's brow furrowed at something over Aurora's shoulder. "Hi! I'm sorry, but we just closed up for the night. Mystery Shack tours begin at 9am daily, though."

"Actually, I was hoping to catch Aurora," a familiar voice answered.

Aurora whirled around to see Ciril Whelp walking up the gravel path to the Mystery Shack gift shop. "Ciril! Hi! What are you doing here?"

Ciril shrugged, his hands in his pockets, his black hair flopping over his glasses, partially obscuring his eyes. "I was bored, and I remembered you saying you were babysitting at the Mystery Shack this weekend. I would have called or texted first, but I don't have your number."

Aurora flushed. "Oh, shoot! That was rude of me! I meant to give it to you. Melody, do you have a sticky note I can write on real quick?" she asked.

Before Melody could respond, however, Ciril stepped forward and handed her his phone. "Just put it straight in my contacts. Save a tree." He smiled and winked up at Melody as Aurora typed her number on his screen.

"Well, hey, would you two like to stay for dinner with us?" Melody asked. "Rey's already joining me and Soos—the more the merrier, right Rey?"

Rey's answer was a noncommittal grunt.

"Actually, it's starting to get dark, so I really should head home now," Aurora said, motioning to the quickly setting sun beginning to sink below the tree tops. "Thank you, though."

"No problem, sweetie. Any time. C'mon, Rey, let's go get dinner started," she said, before disappearing back into the Mystery Shack with Stanley in her arms. Rey made no move to follow her.

"Oh, wait, Aurora!" Melody called through the screen door. She shouldered it back open, and handed Aurora her wooden puzzle box. "I saw you fiddling with this last weekend, and in all the craziness, looks like you left it here."

Aurora took the box with a nod. "Thanks! I was wondering where that had gotten to."

"No problem!" said Melody brightly. She turned to re-enter the gift shop, her sing-song voice carrying back to them. "Come on, Rey! The enchiladas aren't going to make themselves!"

Rey still stayed put on the porch couch, looking down at his hands in his lap.

"Oh, neat, I've never seen a puzzle box like that before!" Ciril said. "D'you mind if I take a look?"

Aurora shrugged and handed him the box. "It took me forever to solve, but it ended up being anticlimactic when I opened it."

Ciril turned his gaze from the puzzle box back to Aurora. "Oh? What was in it?" he asked with interest, pushing his glasses back up on the bridge of his nose with one finger.

"Nothing," Aurora said wryly, one brow raised as she eyed the box. "Absolutely nothing." She glanced up at the sky, and noticed that the sun had now sunk fully below the tree tops. "I really do need to head home now. At the rate I normally walk, if I leave now I won't have to walk in complete darkness for more than a few minutes."

"You're walking home?" Ciril sounded surprised. "You're not wearing reflective clothing. You could be hit by a car!"

Aurora chuckled. "In the woods?"

"Oh," Ciril said, his cheeks extra pink in the glow of the setting sun. "Well… at least let me walk you home. It's the chivalrous thing to do, after all." He bowed at the waist with a flourish, holding his hand out for Aurora to take.

Aurora grinned, and placed her hand delicately in his. "As is only proper, of course," she said, doing a mock curtsy. She casually called out "Bye, Rey!" over her shoulder, before she and Ciril stepped into the trees, still holding hands.

A few moments later, Melody popped her head back out the screen door. "Rey? I thought you were right behind me. What's wrong?" she asked, concerned to see him shaking slightly, his hands balled into fists, as he glared daggers at the edge of the wooded path that was the shortcut to the Pines' house.

Rey clenched and unclenched his fists. "I don't like that boy," he said low, with absolute loathing in his voice.

"Oh really?" Melody asked, smiling and arching a brow. "Sounds like someone has a crush!"

Rey turned his gaze to her, and shook his head slowly. "I just remembered," he said, his voice flat, as he stood up from the couch. "I have somewhere I'm supposed to be. I can't stay for dinner."

"Oh, that's too bad," Melody said sincerely. "You're sure you don't even have time for me to make you a quick peanut butter and pickle sandwich?" A sudden wail from Stanley inside the Shack startled both her and Rey into jumping.

"Thanks, but no," he said. "Sounds like your kid needs you." He made his way down the porch steps as the screen door shut behind him, Melody's footsteps retreating into the Mystery Shack, back to her infant son.

After a quick glance back at the Shack to make sure no one was watching him, Rey disappeared into the woods.

"Wow, dad lived here?" Wendy whispered, her breath fogging up the window as she stared up at the church: a gray stone Gothic structure, with elaborate stained glass windows, and dark wooden double doors with black iron fixtures.

"Yup," said Jessica as she put the car in park. "Your father has always had a flair for the dramatic, whether or not he cares to admit it."

"It almost looks like a castle," Pacifica breathed, as she climbed out of the back seat and was able to get a better look at the building. "And he still owns it? Even after..." She trailed off.

"I'm not sure which of us legally own it anymore," Jessica said, as they approached the front doors. She fumbled with her key ring until she found the key she was looking for, and inserted it in the lock. "He actually left it to me in his will, with instructions that I sell it to pay for Wendy's college eventually."

The lock clicked, and Jessica pushed the door open. It groaned and creaked loudly, so if Oliver was there, they certainly weren't going to take him by surprise.

"Anybody ho-ome?" Mabel sang out as she stepped inside. Her voice echoed back at her from the far corners of the massive, empty space.

Dipper attempted to turn on the lights, and the switch flipped uselessly. "So, no power then," he commented, before turning his cellphone flashlight on and holding it out in front of him. "And no stuff, either. Where's all his stuff?"

"What he didn't will away, he put in storage, or brought with him to the house," Jessica said quietly. "I had really hoped though..." She stopped talking, disappointment thick in her voice. "I don't know where else to look."

"Maybe he went to visit with his old friends fr-from California?" Mabel asked, not wanting to imply that Oliver would run straight back into the arms of an ex whom he'd clearly indicated, in no uncertain terms, that he was over.

"Hell, maybe we all overreacted and he just went out for a drive?" Wendy suggested.

"You did say he's always had a flair for the dramatic, Jessica," Pacifica added.

"Oh my God," Dipper said, a soft smack in the darkness making apparent that he had just face-palmed. "We're so—has anyone even tried calling him?" An awkward silence was his answer.

"Wow," Pacifica said, chuckling softly. "We're dumb."

"I'll call him right now," said Jessica, her phone screen flaring to life and lighting up her face.

"Actually, mom, I think Dipper should call him," Wendy said, putting a hand on Jessica's shoulder. "Not that I necessarily think dad would ignore your call...but just in case?"

Jessica sighed, but her screen winked off. "Fine. Just in case."

Dipper's phone screen lit up, and he tapped Oliver's speed dial. He put the call on speakerphone, and the ring-back echoed throughout the empty sanctuary.

"Didn't go straight to voicemail," Mabel whispered. "That's a good sign."

After four rings, the line clicked, and a breathless voice panted, "Dipper?"

Dipper frowned. "Lexie?"

"I asked first." Yeah, definitely Lexie. A muffled male voice in the background said something.

"Is that Oliver with you?" Dipper asked, hopeful.

"Why are you calling me on Oliver's phone?" Lexie asked between breaths, ignoring Dipper's question.

"What? I didn't," Dipper said. "I called Oliver on Oliver's phone. Is that him I heard with you?"

"No, he left his phone. He hasn't-," she paused and must have attempted to cover the mouthpiece, because muffled static, followed by laughter, and a hissed "Stahp I'm on the phone!" were the next things they heard. "He hasn't been back," she finally continued, her heavy breathing causing more static on her end.

"Lexie," Jessica said loudly. "As one of your temporary guardians, I would be remiss not to remind you that before I left, I specifically told you kids not to be irresponsible. You're not being irresponsible, are you?"

There was a scrambling sound on the other line, and a dull thud like the phone had been dropped. Between the hisses of static, snippets of rushed conversation could be heard.

"it! … … on...kerphone that ass...Just...me...phone Lexie!"

In the darkness of the abandoned sanctuary, Dipper struggled not to laugh as he made eye contact with Wendy. After some more static and broken-up cursing, the line went clear again.

"Good evenin' Mrs. Corduroy, ladies… Dipper," Gideon's voice rang out across the room. "I have y'all on speakerphone. Which is what one says at the beginning of a conversation that they know will be overheard by others, at least in polite society. Dipper."

Dipper laughed. "So sorry, Gid. It must have been the shock of Lexie answering Oliver's phone that caused my failure to inform her of the call being amplified for all around me to hear. Anyway, since you two are obviously busy, and clearly notbeing irresponsible at all, I should let you go."

"Oh, go suck a nut, you dickbag," Lexie growled.

"Still on speaker..." Jessica said in a sing-song tone.

"My apologies, Mama C," Lexie said. "What I meant was, 'go suckle on a testicle, you penis...purse?' Better?"

Jessica had to hold back laughter as she answered. "Yes, Lexie. Much better."

"Listen," said Dipper. "Just call or text one of us if Oliver does show back up. If you're not too busy, uh, doing things, that is."

"Dipper, you're an absolute cun—" The line clicked and went dead, cutting off Lexie's rant.

The group burst into laughter, the raucous sound echoing off the stained glass and surrounding them with mirth.

When their laughter finally subsided, Jessica heaved a sigh. "We might as well head back home. Oliver will turn up sooner or later...he always does. Come on, kids."

As Jessica was locking up behind them, Dipper sent Lexie a quick text on her actual phone.

Dipper: Seriously, if he shows up, text me.

Lexie: I hate you, penis purse.

The Cavern of the Stars was not pitch black like most caverns, but glowed with the brilliance of a full moon, as each tiny pinprick of light that formed the constellations on the walls played a part in illuminating the darkness. Oliver Corduroy sat cross-legged at the center of the cavern, his eyes closed, his hands resting lightly on his knees. To the casual observer, he might have been meditating. He was not, however. Under his breath, in a voice nearly too low to hear, he was begging.

"Please," he murmured. "Elder Star, I know you know who I am. I need to speak with you. It's urgent."

Silence. There had been nothing but silence in response to his petitions for the several hours he had been sitting in the main chamber of the cavern.

After his argument with Jess and the kids earlier, he'd taken off on his bike with no destination in mind. He needed to clear his head. He could tell he'd been hurting Jess, and that was the last thing he wanted to do. But it felt like, now that he was powerless, and now that Jessica's old mentor, Faust was back in the picture, it was even more important that Oliver and Jess not be involved. Right now, he was nothing more than a liability that someone could use to hurt her or the kids. And that's what he'd always be—a liability—unless he could somehow regain his powers.

Oliver had barely arrived at the idea that he needed to try and reclaim the mantle of Star Child, before he realized that he'd been riding for the last half hour with his brain on auto-pilot, and that he was already off-road, only minutes away from the entrance to the Cavern of the Stars. It seemed his body knew the correct course of action to take before his mind did.

The Elder Star, however, seemed to be ignoring him.

"Please," he said again, louder this time. "Elder Star, I know you can hear me. I'm trying to be respectful, but," he hissed through gritted teeth, "you're making it really fucking difficult by not responding."

Oliver had only maintained his patience and civility for this long because of all the practice he'd had meditating over the years. Patience and civility, however, were quickly escaping him. He felt his breathing come faster, and as he tried to slow it, he felt a sharp pain in the palms of both hands. He opened his eyes to see that his hands had curled into fists—fists so tight that his fingernails were cutting into his palms. Oliver took a deep breath, and when he blew it out, he felt a cool sensation trickle down his spine. It was the sensation he remembered feeling when he was much younger, and Pike was about to take over his body for awhile, to deal with the things he couldn't.

It didn't work like that anymore, however. Pike couldn't protect him from pain—not the way he used to. Pike was a part of Oliver; they were one person. The only way Pike could help him anymore, is if Oliver harnessed the part of his mind from which Pike had originally formed.

Oliver relaxed his hands and closed his eyes once more, focusing on looking at his current situation as Pike would have seen it.

"WWPD?" he whispered. "What would Pike do?" The answer hit him almost immediately. Pike wouldn't be sitting in a cave, calmly and humbly begging an invisible sky fairy to come talk to him. No, Pike would be pissed.

Oliver tossed his head back and laughed. The more he thought about Pike's reaction to his current predicament, the more ridiculous what he was doing seemed.

"This is a fucking joke," he muttered, climbing to his feet. "HEY ASSHOLE!" he yelled, cupping his hands around his mouth to amplify his voice. "STAR GUY! What the fuck is your problem?! Come out and talk to me, you ethereal sack of shit!"

Oliver's voice echoing back to him was the only response. That just made him angrier.

"You had the chance, when I was younger, to tell me the truth! To stop all this! I fucking offered to take Jessie's place as Star Child, and you laughed at me! I know now that I have the Orion freckles on the back of my head, so I'm supposed to be a 'Big Deal,' as far as Star Children go, but YOU SENT ME FUCKING PACKING! Why choose Jessie then, instead of me? She br—the power broke her!" Oliver's voice cracked, and he swiped at an angry tear that had the audacity to roll down his cheek. He inhaled deeply, and began pacing as he continued his rant.

"It broke her, and there was nothing I could do but stand by and watch my best friend slowly turn into someone I didn't even recognize—thanks to you, and her creepy old mentor. I didn't know much about him back then, other than that he existed, but he's back now, and he's apparently still powerful as fuck. Worst of all, he has Jessie and my daughters and their friends in his crosshairs. Did you hear that, YOU PIECE OF SHIT? HE'S FUCKING WITH MY FAMILY AND MY KIDS. Without my magic—without powers—how the hell am I supposed to protect them from someone like Faust?"

Oliver was prepared to continue yelling, but as the name Faust passed his lips, the stars on the cave walls instantly dimmed, throwing the cavern into near-darkness. "What the fuck?" he muttered, looking around.

"Fear Faust."

Oliver recognized the ancient-sounding, thin, reedy voice as belonging to the Elder Star. He let out a dark chuckle.

"Were you not listening just now?" he asked, turning in place, not sure where to aim his reply, as the Elder Star's voice seemed to come from all around him. "I do fear him. That's why I'm here. I'm useless in a fight against him now. I need your help."

After several seconds, the Elder Star simply said, "No."

Oliver covered his face with his hands, and began to laugh hysterically. However, he slowly sank to his knees on the cavern floor, and the laughs turned into sobs. He pulled his hands away, threw his head back and screamed with all his might.

"WHY?!" he cried, his voice raw. "Was I not good enough? What did I do wrong? Why can't you just help me for once?"

The Elder Star laughed softly, a noise that made Oliver grit his teeth with distaste. Then he once again evaded Oliver's questions with a non-answer.

"You've become emotional. Where is the young man with fire in his heart and eyes? The one who would move the very heavens themselves if it meant he could save his friends?"

That was a low blow. Oliver jumped to his feet again. "He's right fucking here, you prick," he said low. "You're obviously not going to help me, but can you at least tell me who Faust is? How I—how my kids and Jessie can fight him?"

The Elder Star's voice faded to nothing, as he repeated once more, "Fear Faust."

"Thanks, jackass," Oliver muttered. "Real fuckin' helpful. Wait, what-?" The cavern was growing even dimmer, as the lights from all the constellations winked out one by one. When there was only one constellation remaining visible on the wall, its stars flared brightly, burning their image into Oliver's eyes. He blinked rapidly to clear his vision, and narrowed his eyes to look more closely at the lone constellation. High school astronomy class was ages ago. Finally, everything clicked into place, and Oliver's blood ran cold when he realized what he was looking at.

The constellation was Ophichus. 'The Devil.'

"Oh. Oh, fuck."

Stay Tuned Next Time For Chapter 36: Before The Fall

Shoutout! To any and all who read! Especially if you leave me a review or comment! You Guys Are Amazing!

Peace