Disclaimer: I do not own the rights to Ranma ½ or Dragon Ball (And Z or GT for that matter). They were created by Rumiko Takahashi and Akira Toriyama respectively. Don't sue me; I have little or no money.

Chapter One

Trapped in a Strange Land!

My Name is Son Goku!

Saotome Ranma sat on the edge of a hill, the training ground of Jusenkyo below him. He was pondering the life he had led on the road. He never had a real life; he spent all his time training with his fool of a father. He hadn't seen his mother in over ten years due to this lifestyle and had never had many friends. There was Ukyo, but it had been so long since the last time Ranma had seen the guy he was sure that his "sparring partner" had long forgotten him. Then there was Ryoga, that boy with no sense of direction he had met about six months before the trip to China. He wasn't really a friend, more like a rival. They never had that fight to end their "Bread Feud" since Ranma's father had dragged him off before his opponent arrived at the designated place. Despite the fact that Ryoga had been three days late (At least) the pony tailed boy had been totally willing to wait.

"Stupid old man," Ranma thought. "I bet Ryoga showed up five minutes after we left. Damn, couldn't we have waited a few more hours?"

It was then Ranma began to consider all the things in his life that have gone wrong. Leaving his mom, leaving Ucchan, that whole Neko-Ken mess, all of it was his father's fault. Why did he listen to that fat fool? One day his foolishness might get them both killed. Maybe even worse...

"What the hell have I've been doing...?" Ranma wondered.

"Quit wasting time, boy," he heard his father, Saotome Genma, yell from behind. "Let's head down to that training ground."

Ranma was very still. He didn't turn to face his father. He just muttered something the fat martial artist couldn't really make it out.

"Speak up boy," Genma insisted.

"I said 'No', ya old fool," Ranma yelled as he stood up at his father, meeting him face to face. "Ya got a hearing problem in your old age or what?"

"Why you insolent little..." Genma was shocked to see his son in this manner. Sure, he often gave him backtalk and made smart little comments but he had never out right refused him before. "How dare you speak to your father like that!"

"Some father! All you ever do ruin my life!"

"Foolish boy, you should be prepared to give up your life for the sake of the art!"

"Like I ever had a say in the matter!" Ranma balled his fist. "It's over pop! I'm going back to Japan to find mom, so suck on that old man!"

Genma gave his son an evil look. "Ranma, you sound like a girl!" With that, Genma tossed his son off the hill. Luckially for the boy he landed right into one of the various springs, liely saving him from injury. "Ungrateful little brat. After all I've done for him." The older man blinked. "Hey, shouldn't he have surfaced by now?"

A few minutes later, Genma found himself walking along the springs, searching for the one he launched his only son into. Once he found it, he noticed it strangely Ranma-less. His pony tailed son was not there, though it was obvious something had recently fallen into it, since there were still ripples in the water. However, there was nothing in there, not even a drowned body.

"Oh crap, Nodoka's gonna kill me," Genma cried, not showing much concern for his lost son.

"Sir, what you doing?" Genma heard someone say. He turned around to see a fat Chinese tour guide running toward him. "What you doing? Life is worth living!"

"Huh?" Genma said blankly.

"Oh, you no try curse self? That good, cause very bad thing happen if fall in spring. Take form of whatever drown there last!"

Genma's jaw dropped. "Damn, I knew I should have taken that course on Chinese before we left Japan. Wait a minute, my boy Ranma fell into this spring, but now he's gone. What is this, Spring of the Invisible Man?"

The guide thought about this a moment. "Hmmm, you say son disappeared? That not supposed to happen. Oh, now this one remember! This must be the Gate Way Spring!"

"Gate Way Spring? What is that, and where is my son?" Genma demanded, his thoughts dwelling on his wife decapitating him for losing their only son.

"There very old legend that say that 5,500 year ago, an evil wizard create a portal to another world. No one no why? But now who ever fall in spring go to that world...never to return."

Genma sank down to his knees. "Oh no...now I'll never be able to retire on Tendo's dojo."

Ranma was dumbfounded as he hurled through the sky. He hit the water rather hard. Despite the pain all he could think about was how much he was going to beat on his father when he got out of the spring. His thoughts quickly changed when he saw the oddest thing he had ever seen before: A boy with spiky hair and a monkey tail swimming right beside him. Ranma would have screamed if he hadn't been underwater. The mysterious boy seemed equally upset. They both swam up to the surface as fast as they could. Once the pony tailed boy did so he noticed he was no longer at Jusenkyo. He was now in a strange mountain setting. In fact, this wasn't even a spring he was swimming in. It was a rather large lake.

"What the hell is this?" Ranma said out loud.

"AHHH, SOME KINDA MONSTER!" He heard the monkey tailed boy yelled.

"I ain't a monster," Ranma replied. "I'm human. What're you?"

"Hmmm, grandpa said I was human, so I guess that's what I am," the boy said with a rather confused look. He starred at the older boy for several minutes before finally saying "Well, you sorta look like me so I guess you're not lying. C'mon, let's go to the shore."

A minute later the two were standing on land.

"Hey, are sure you're human? Where's your tail?" The boy asked.

"I ain't got a tail, stupid. I don't know anyone who does!" Ranma responded.

"Now that I think about it, Grandpa didn't have a tail either," the boy remembered. "But then again, Grandpa was a pretty weird guy."

"I'd say you're the weird on, kid." Ranma informed him. "Where am I anyway?"

"I dunno, but I've been here as long as I can remember," the younger boy said. "Hey are you a guy or a girl?"

Ranma shook his head at this kid's stupidity. "Moron, I'm a guy! What are you, blind?"

"Well, I've never seen another human before," the boy admitted.

Ranma pinched the bridge of his nose. "You're kidding, right?"

"Well, I guess Grandpa was human too, but he's the only one," the boy recalled. "Well, I suppose I should feed you or something. Let's head back to my place."

Ranma nodded, if only to perhaps find out where he was. After a few minutes the two young martial artists reached a small cottage at top of a hill. It didn't look like much. After heading inside he noticed an orange sphere with four small red stars in the middle. The monkey boy bowed to it.

"Hey grandpa," he said. "Guess what? There's another human in the house!"

"Why are you talking to that ball?" Ranma asked.

"Oh, that's my Grandpa," the boy explained.

"Whatever," Ranma said. He then realized he didn't know this boy's name, so he properly asked "Hey kid, what's your name?"

"My name...? My name is Son Goku," the boy replied.

Ranma smile at the boy. "I'm Saotome Ranma."

Goku returned the smile, but his grumbling stomach broke the mood. The spiky haired boy realized he never got to get the fish he went looking for. "Alright then, I'm gonna go find some grub. You like bear?"

"Bear? You eat bear?"

"Sure, don't you?"

The pony tailed boy buried his face in his hands. "Oh man, I hate this place already."

About a week passed…

Ranma awoke early. He quickly dressed in the cloths he had bought a few days before he and his father went to Jusenkyo: A red Chinese styled shirt and black kung-fu pants. The Saotome Heir felt the tip of his new pig tail. He had tied this way on a whim since he came to Goku's home. It felt natural for some reason.

He paused to reflect on his situation. It had been a week since he had first arrived in Goku's little corner of the world. He was pretty certain he wasn't in China anymore. This was mostly based on the fact that dinosaurs do not exist in China, and for some odd reason he had run into some while he was scouting the area. Truthfully Ranma was no history expert but he was pretty confident that dinosaurs weren't around anymore (Those damned thing scared the crap out of him, and Goku just laughed about the whole thing). At least on Earth. So where was he? Some alien world? All the pig tailed martial artist knew that he was lost and needed to get back.

Not that it was all bad. Living with Goku had been an overall pleasant experience. For starters Goku had given him something he hadn't had in ten years: A friend. Sure he was younger and dumber (Or maybe just really naive) than he was, but he had a good heart. Plus he was great fighter. He was just as good, if not better than Ranma (Though Ranma believed that his own skill level was higher, but Goku was stronger and almost as fast so it evened out). This was surprising for such a young looking kid, but refreshing to have such a good sparring partner. Also he found that Goku's interesting choices of meals quite tasty once he got used to it (Who would have thought that roast bear would be so good?).

As Ranma awoke this particular day he decided he needed to leave. He couldn't spend the rest of his life here. He had to find a way back home to Japan and spending time with Goku wasn't going to help. The young Saotome quickly headed outside, finding his monkey tailed friend training by crushing stones with his bare hands.

'I still can't believe how strong he is,' Ranma fumed. 'I've never seen anybody that strong before and he's still just a kid.'

"Morning, Big Brother," Goku said when he noticed Ranma. Goku had gotten into the habit of calling Ranma that. He really liked the pig tailed martial artist and began thinking of him as an older brother figure. Goku never had any friends before. It was a good feeling. "We're gonna practice now, right?"

The older boy frowned. Explaining this to his small friend would be hard. Not to mention sad. Goku had been his only friend in years. It would be heartbreaking to say goodbye to another one.

"No, Goku," Ranma said half heartedly. "I...I'm leaving. Today."

"Huh?" Goku was confused by this. His tiny brain didn't understand clearly. "You don't like it here?"

"It ain't like that Goku," Ranma said, his head cast down. "It's like I said before, I gotta find my way back home. I can't spend the rest of my life hiding in the middle of nowhere."

Goku was silent for a while. It was as if he was in deep thought, but Ranma found that hard to believe. Finally after what seemed like forever Goku responded "I guess I understand." There was an awkward pause before the spiky haired boy added "Well then, I'll go too!"

This caught Ranma off guard. There was no reason for Goku not to come with him. In fact it would be better for both of them since he didn't really like the idea of Goku living alone like a hermit. "You sure you want to come along?"

The younger boy nodded. "It could be fun," was his response.

The conversation was interrupted by the sound of Goku's stomach.

Goku just smiled. "I'm hungry!"

Ranma rolled his eyes in response.

Adventure and romance. Those were the primary goals of the quest the girl named Bulma was currently on. The quest in question had led her here; the middle of nowhere. There was no sign of intelligent life in this mountain forest and this pissed the young genius off to no end. The setting was nice and all but wandering around the wilderness was not the girl's idea of a good time. However the prospect of achieving her goal, her wish to have to perfect boyfriend, motivated the greenish blue haired girl to move forward. Nothing would stand in the way of her possession of the Dragon Balls. With two on her person and one within her grasp she was practically half way done and she still had lots of time left on her summer break. She'd have the perfect boyfriend sooner then she had anticipated.

Bulma, after briefly stopping her jeep, pulled from her pack her greatest invention to date: the Dragon Radar. She activated the device hoping to get a fix on the Dragon Ball at that was somewhere in the forest. Reality soon set in as she made a horrible discovery.

"The ball…is moving!"

Ranma wasn't sure if Goku's companionship was a good thing or a bad thing. He couldn't exactly use the boy as a tour guide across this strange land as the monkey tailed lad had never been outside his mountain home. But taking him along with him was better than leaving him alone. Plus Goku was a good traveling buddy as well as sparring partner.

Also the road could get pretty lonely. Though he held no love for his father at this point Ranma was thankful he didn't have to travel alone during his long training trip.

"I'm hungry," Goku informed his pig tailed friend. The two had started on their journey, not having too much with them in the way of possessions. Ranma had what was left of his pack that he had with him when Genma tossed him of the hill while Goku had nothing but the Nyoibo Staff he received from his grandfather and a little sack tied to his belt. They were currently walking down a path in the forest, not really sure where they were heading.

Ranma shook his head. "Didn't you just eat that huge fish?"

"But that was a long time ago."

"A half hour ain't a long time, monkey boy!"

Ranma had more to say on the topic, but he suddenly felt the strong urge to stop in his speech as well in his tracks.

Goku looked at his curiously. "Huh? What's wrong, Big Brother?"

"I…I hear a car!"

Without much warning a jeep appeared in front of the two martial artists.

Having never seen a car before, Goku panicked. "Ahhh! It's a demon!" With that the spiky haired fighter dashed toward what he believed was the enemy.

Ranma gasped as his friend ran toward the jeep. "You idiot! It's just a car!"

Goku must have been caught up in the moment because he ignored Ranma's warning and lifted the jeep over his head and tossing it aside.

Bulma, who had been in the jeep in question, quickly grabbed the gun she had brought with her for protection from the jeep's glove compartment. She wasn't sure exactly what was going on, but she knew she was under attack. Slipping through an open window she took aim at an unsuspecting Goku.

"Goku, look out! She's got a gun," Bulma heard someone yell out. It was then she saw the pig tailed boy she hadn't noticed earlier. She was practically drooling at the sight of him. 'What a hunk,' she thought to herself.

Ranma bopped his companion on the head with his fist once Bulma put down her gun. "Goku you idiot." He then turned toward the girl who was just attacked. "Sorry about that. Goku's not used to cars or other people for that matter." The Saotome Heir was laughing nervously, not sure if this girl had the power to sue them or not.

Goku, after looking at the girl for more than two seconds decided that she could be human, though she looked a little different than he or Ranma.

Bulma, having seemingly forgotten that she was about to shoot Goku in the head, gave Ranma a seductive smile and wink. "Not a problem," she said sweetly. She climbed out of her fallen jeep and began to close the gap between herself and the pig tailed boy. "I have plenty of vehicle capsules so it's no big loss."

"Right, heh heh," Ranma replied not all that comfortable with Bulma's flirting. "Well, um, if everything's fine then we'll be on our way."

Bulma stopped the two before they could leave. "Wait a second." She pulled out her trusty Dragon Radar in order to confirm her suspicion. Sure enough the device indicated that the Dragon Ball she had been searching for was now just a few feet from where she was standing. "Here I thought some animal had taken it, but you two have it, don't you?"

"Have what?" both Ranma and Goku asked, not having a clue as to what she was talking about.

"A Dragon Ball, of course?" Bulma wasn't sure if they were playing dumb or really didn't know what they had. The teen genius pulled the two Dragon Balls she possessed from her bag. The looked just like the orange sphere Ranma saw at Goku's place only they had a different number of stars.

Goku eyes widened "Whoa, two more grandpas!"

Ranma too was surprised. "You have those weird ball things too?"

Bulma shrugged as she continued. "It's not too surprising you've never heard of them. They're called Dragon Balls and I'm collecting them."

"You mean some poor dragon lost his…" Ranma covered his friend's mouth before Goku could finish the statement. He didn't want to offend this person as he had decided that she was his best chance of getting home.

Ranma laughed nervously (Again). "So whatcha collecting 'em for? Gonna make a pretty necklace or something?" The pig tailed martial artist didn't know much about girls but he was certain that they liked jewelry.

Bulma didn't appreciate Ranma's ignorance, but she hid it well. If she played her cards right she'd get the Dragon Ball and a cute boyfriend. "Actually, no. The truth is that there are seven of these things scattered around the world."

Ranma raised an eyebrow at this. "Geez, that kinda makes it hard to find 'em all, right?"

"It's supposed to be hard, that's the idea. Legend has it that something really amazing happens when they're all gathered together and you chant the proper incantation. You'll be able to summon Shelong, the Dragon God!"

The pig tailed boy shrugged, not taking all this really seriously. "And what's so important about this 'Dragon God' thing?"

"According to the legend Shenlong will grant any one wish, no matter what it may be!"

Goku eyes widened. "Wow! That's awesome!" He opened the little bag he had been carrying and removed his grandfather's heirloom. "I didn't know you could do that, grandpa!"

Bulma smiled. "Aha, I knew you guys had it with you. That's the four star ball, Sushinchu!"

Ranma briefly thought about using the balls for him in order to find his father. Would that work? "So what, ahem, do you plan on wishing for?"

The teen genius hesitated. Her wish was going to be for the perfect boyfriend, but she couldn't tell this super cute guy that. "Umm, I wanted to wish for a lifetime supply of strawberries."

Ranma face faulted at this. 'What a stupid wish,' he thought.

The greenish blue haired girl smiled as brightly and as cheerfully as possible. "Now then, how 'bout you just hand over that dragon ball."

Goku frowned at the girl's request. "What? No way! That's the only thing I got left of my grandpa!"

Bulma tried begging for the ball using her girlish charms but they had no effect on the spiky haired youth. Finally she offered a solution that appealed to Goku. "How 'bout this: You can help me on my quest! You're a he-man type, right? You're supposed to love that kind of stuff. You can help me find the other balls, then let me borrow your ball at the end." She didn't bother to mention that once the wish is made all the balls once again are scattered throughout the Earth.

Goku thought about it, and then turned to Ranma. "What do you think, Big Brother?"

Ranma pondered it for a minute. He still wasn't sure if this whole Shenlong thing was true or not, but the greenish blue haired girl most likely could help him find out where he was and possibly how he could get back to where he came from. Getting in her good graces was the smart thing to do. Besides it was a martial artist's duty to help people in need, right?

"I guess we can help ya out. But how the hell are we gonna find all those things if they're scattered all over the world?"

Bulma flashed her radar. "This is my Dragon Radar. It detects the faint electromagnetic pulse that each ball emits. We'll be able to track them no matter where they are."

The pig tailed boy seemed to be satisfied with this. However if he knew what Bulma was really plotting he may not have agreed to help so quickly.

'Heh, this is perfect,' the teen genius thought. 'Not only will that little shrimp will make the perfect bodyguard but I'll be able to travel with that really hot guy! I'll just use my feminine charm to make the guy fall in love with me.'

The deal having been made, Ranma introduced himself. "I'm Ranma. Saotome Ranma. And the little monkey over there is Son Goku."

"Hi," Goku greeted.

The teen genius nodded as she looked through her capsule case. "…I'm Bulma. Since you guys wrecked my jeep I'll have to use another car." Selecting a capsule she tossed it a few feet away. The impact created a small explosion accompanied by a large cloud of smoke. When the smoke cleared a sleek roofless floating car was seen. Both Goku and Ranma were dumbfounded. They had never seen anything like that before.

Seeing their expression Bulma just rolled her eyes. They must have been real country bumpkins to have never seen Hoi Poi Capsules before.

A little while later the three traveling companions found themselves driving along the road. Goku had been convinced the car was some sort of monster, but relaxed when Ranma assured him it was safe. The pig tailed boy in question the front with Bulma. Taking the opportunity to gather information the Saotome Heir tired to confirm his location by asking his new "friend."

"China? What's that?"

"You don't know?" Ranma asked, surprised.

Bulma shrugged. "I've never heard of that town."

The pig tailed boy felt his eye twitch. "You wouldn't happen to have a world map, would ya?"

She tossed him a map. To Ranma's horror the he didn't recognize anything on it. No China, no Japan, not even Asia. It was as if it was a totally different world.

The car suddenly stopped. Bulma gave the boys a cute innocent look. "Excuse me for a bit."

Goku raised an eyebrow. "Huh? Where you going?"

Ranma gave his friend a disgusted look. "You dummy. She's gotta pee."

"You didn't need to say it like that!" Bulma yelled as she hurried, grumbling about idiots.

"What a weirdo. Why doesn't he pee out here?" Goku asked.

"Because 'he' is a girl, monkey-brain," Ranma informed him. He couldn't believe that his friend couldn't tell the difference between guys and chicks. "Girls are dainty and weird." This statement was based on the teachings of Genma of course.

Goku looked as though he had just made an amazing discovery. "Ooooh. So that's what a human girl looks like."

A woman's scream interrupted the conversation. They recognized the voice as being Bulma's. The two quickly raced toward direction she had gone to earlier. What they found was a vicious looking pterodactyl holding a helpless Bulma. While Goku was unfazed by the sight Ranma found himself scared out of his wits. He still wasn't used to seeing dinosaurs.

The pterodactyl sneered at the new arrivals. "Who are you? Part of her pack?"

"Holy shit, that thing can talk!" Ranma gasped.

Goku ignored Ranma's disbelief and addressed the creature. "You a friend of hers or something?"

The pterodactyl smiled evilly at the boy's stupidity. "Why yes, as a matter of fact I am. Can you give us a second while we talk in private for a bit?"

By this time Ranma had regained his senses. "Hey pal, how dumb do ya think we are?"

The monstrous began considering his options. He finally came up with a brilliant plan. He pointed in a random direction and screamed "What the hell is that?" While Goku turned to see what the problem was Ranma just shook his head. "Nice try pal, but the Saotome School of Anything Goes Martial Arts invented that move."

"Well, I'm still gonna fly away!" With that the pterodactyl launched itself high into the sky with Bulma in tow.

"You idiots! Save me already!" Was what the teen genius shouted as she was being carried off to be eaten.

"Ah crap, what are we gonna do now?" Ranma demanded. It wasn't like they could after them.

Goku gave his friend a confidant smile as he pulled out his trusty Nyoibo Staff. "We save her, of course."

The spike haired you motioned for the pig tailed boy to grab a hold of the staff. The two began running after their flying foe, gaining momentum all the while. Upon yelling "Grow stick, grow" the Nyoibo began to enlarge. Before Ranma could react to what was going on Goku used the growing staff to propel them high into the air right behind the fleeing pterodactyl.

Both martial artists managed to land directly on top of the creature that kidnapped their friend. Though he wouldn't admit it, Ranma was very freaked out over this whole situation. None the less a life was on the line, and it was a martial artist's duty to protect the weak.

The Saotome Heir turned to his spiky haired ally. "Alright Goku, now what?"

Goku responded by plowing his fist into the head of the pterodactyl causing an instant K.O. to flying creature. Needless to say the gang found themselves plummeting toward the Earth. Luckily they were right above a forest. Quickly catching Bulma, Ranma was able to skillfully grab onto a large branch of a random before they hit the ground. Goku did the same with another tree.

Bulma looked deeply into the blue eyes of her savior. "That was amazing," she said in her best seductive voice. "You're really strong."

Ranma was again not comfortable with Bulma's flirting and wasn't sure how to respond. Luckily (Or disgustingly, depending on your point of view) he didn't have to because Bulma just remembered that she never got to relive herself, and with the added fright from the fall she had a little accident right on the pig tailed boy's person.

While Bulma was speechless with embarrassment Ranma decided right there and then that whatever land he had ended up on he needed to find a way back home. This world was far too insane for him.

"See guys; all's well that ends well," Goku said happily, not noticing Ranma's current bane.

To be continued…

Preview for next chapter

Ranma: Yo, Ranma here. Looks like I'm trapped on some screwy version of Earth with no way to get back home. But I bet I could use those Dragon Balls to wish myself back to China!

Goku: Big Brother, why are you taking those balls without telling Bulma?

Ranma: Err…never mind that. I'm more concerned with who this old bald freak is? And what's with that talking turtle? Next time on Ranma and the Monkey King: "Enter the Turtle Hermit!"

Goku: Oh my god! Bulma doesn't have any balls!

Updated Author's Note: For those who can't tell this is an updated, re-written version of the original Chapter One. Frankly I've gotten sick of the "this story is crap" warning on the top of the page and wanted it gone. I've also fixed much of the grammar and spelling problems as well as some minor glitches so that the chapter should flow a bit better now.