disclaimer: I don't own anything.
A/N: I am so sorry that I haven't been writting more, but my life, and the lives of my circle of friends are all pretty confusing right now. And to top it all off, I have writers flood. The opposite, but no less horrifying, companion to writer's block. I have all these ideas in my head, but none of them seem to come out right, and they all get jumbled together. But I have five days to sit down and write, so you never know what might pop up. Anyway I was just trying to vent some steam left over from football season, and the weeks of parties, alcohol, and mild narcotics that accompanied said season. I just sat down and started writing and this came out.
They Deserved More
It's a beautiful day in the world, and that doesn't seem right to me. I feel like it should be cold and dreary, weather no one would ever want to be out in, because the world doesn't deserve any days like that anymore. It should be in mourning, because its lost its hope and light. Its lost T.K. and Kari.
T.K. and Kari.... It seems like we always said their names together, like they were one person. And even now that their gone, we still can't seem to stop. I guess that's cause its so hard to believe that they are gone. I mean after all the years of fighting in the Digiworld, and having everything end up okay even when the odds were always stacked a million to one against us, we all developed a sense that maybe we were invulnerable or something. And even when I did stop to think that one of us could die here, I always worried that it would be Tai or Matt, going out in a blaze of glory and sacrifice.
It never crossed my mind that T.K or Kari would ever go like that, let alone both of them. And now that I do think about it only makes me angry at myself because I know I should have before. They were always the ones that any new menace went right after. They were always the ones that seemed to be standing at the end of every battle, saving the rest of us with their hope and light, and it hurts me so bad because I couldn't save them when they needed it, and I can't stop crying because a well of sorrow has burst open inside me and it won't stop gushing out tears.
We were a family, you know. Thirteen kids who grew up together saving the world, and became closer with every victory and every defeat, every tear, and every smile. And now the heart and the soul of our family have been ripped out, leaving a gaping pit that the rest of us have fallen into.
Tai keeps trying to stay focused, keeps trying to be a good leader, but I can see in his eyes that he's broken. And as I hold him as we cry ourselves to sleep at night I can feel myself breaking too.
Matt's even worse though. He won't eat at all, and Mimi told me he hasn't slept in two days, but worst of all he hasn't cried. He hasn't shed a single tear for his brother or the girl who might as well have been his sister. And I know that all of the sorrow he's keeping inside is killing him.
Mimi can sense it too, and in her dreams she can almost feel it gnawing at his insides, destroying him from within. She says that she wakes up crying and screaming, scared to death that she might lose Matt too, because she knows she can't live without him.
I'm just glad that Joe, Yolei, Ken, Cody, and Izzy are holding up better than the four of us. At least they can go about in some semblence of their normal day without breaking down, or just ceasing to care all together. And that's good because if they had, another one of us would be gone by now.
The five of them have started to watch Davis in shifts. After what he tried the other morning they're afraid to let him out of sight for a second.
Poor Davis, he thinks its all his fault, when everyone knows that it couldn't be farther from the truth. He was the only one who saw what was happening. He was the only one who tried to get T.K. and Kari to stop, but it was already too late. They couldn't have gone back even if their was another way.
But oh God..... if only we......if only I had seen what was going on sooner we could have stopped it without the two best of us having to give up everything...
I must sound pretty pathetic, we all must sound that way, but I don't care what I sound like because I know it shouldn't have happened that way. T.K. and Kari were just children. They were children who were good, and pure, and who carried the two most precious things in the world inside them. They were children who had spent their too brief eighteen years of life defending the world, only to die because the world couldn't defend them just one time. They were children who were going to be married in less than a month, and who were supposed to grow old surrounded by their own children.
But they were too good to deserve happiness like that. So instead they had to die, and show all of us who loved them how pathetic we all are compared to them.
And now in the midst of all my grief and rage at how unfair it all is, I look over at eight new Digidestined. All of them awed and humbled at the sight of the great heroes, whose stories they were raised on, all struck down by an invisible and all powerful enemy.
And I look at two in paticular, a boy named Zane and a girl named Clara, who wear the crests of Hope and Light around their necks. They don't really know about the two perfect people who wore those same symbols before them, but I swear that they will, because I'm going to tell them, and I'm going to make sure that nothing dares to take away their lives, like something took away those of T.K. and Kari, because they deserved more.
A/N: I am so sorry that I haven't been writting more, but my life, and the lives of my circle of friends are all pretty confusing right now. And to top it all off, I have writers flood. The opposite, but no less horrifying, companion to writer's block. I have all these ideas in my head, but none of them seem to come out right, and they all get jumbled together. But I have five days to sit down and write, so you never know what might pop up. Anyway I was just trying to vent some steam left over from football season, and the weeks of parties, alcohol, and mild narcotics that accompanied said season. I just sat down and started writing and this came out.
They Deserved More
It's a beautiful day in the world, and that doesn't seem right to me. I feel like it should be cold and dreary, weather no one would ever want to be out in, because the world doesn't deserve any days like that anymore. It should be in mourning, because its lost its hope and light. Its lost T.K. and Kari.
T.K. and Kari.... It seems like we always said their names together, like they were one person. And even now that their gone, we still can't seem to stop. I guess that's cause its so hard to believe that they are gone. I mean after all the years of fighting in the Digiworld, and having everything end up okay even when the odds were always stacked a million to one against us, we all developed a sense that maybe we were invulnerable or something. And even when I did stop to think that one of us could die here, I always worried that it would be Tai or Matt, going out in a blaze of glory and sacrifice.
It never crossed my mind that T.K or Kari would ever go like that, let alone both of them. And now that I do think about it only makes me angry at myself because I know I should have before. They were always the ones that any new menace went right after. They were always the ones that seemed to be standing at the end of every battle, saving the rest of us with their hope and light, and it hurts me so bad because I couldn't save them when they needed it, and I can't stop crying because a well of sorrow has burst open inside me and it won't stop gushing out tears.
We were a family, you know. Thirteen kids who grew up together saving the world, and became closer with every victory and every defeat, every tear, and every smile. And now the heart and the soul of our family have been ripped out, leaving a gaping pit that the rest of us have fallen into.
Tai keeps trying to stay focused, keeps trying to be a good leader, but I can see in his eyes that he's broken. And as I hold him as we cry ourselves to sleep at night I can feel myself breaking too.
Matt's even worse though. He won't eat at all, and Mimi told me he hasn't slept in two days, but worst of all he hasn't cried. He hasn't shed a single tear for his brother or the girl who might as well have been his sister. And I know that all of the sorrow he's keeping inside is killing him.
Mimi can sense it too, and in her dreams she can almost feel it gnawing at his insides, destroying him from within. She says that she wakes up crying and screaming, scared to death that she might lose Matt too, because she knows she can't live without him.
I'm just glad that Joe, Yolei, Ken, Cody, and Izzy are holding up better than the four of us. At least they can go about in some semblence of their normal day without breaking down, or just ceasing to care all together. And that's good because if they had, another one of us would be gone by now.
The five of them have started to watch Davis in shifts. After what he tried the other morning they're afraid to let him out of sight for a second.
Poor Davis, he thinks its all his fault, when everyone knows that it couldn't be farther from the truth. He was the only one who saw what was happening. He was the only one who tried to get T.K. and Kari to stop, but it was already too late. They couldn't have gone back even if their was another way.
But oh God..... if only we......if only I had seen what was going on sooner we could have stopped it without the two best of us having to give up everything...
I must sound pretty pathetic, we all must sound that way, but I don't care what I sound like because I know it shouldn't have happened that way. T.K. and Kari were just children. They were children who were good, and pure, and who carried the two most precious things in the world inside them. They were children who had spent their too brief eighteen years of life defending the world, only to die because the world couldn't defend them just one time. They were children who were going to be married in less than a month, and who were supposed to grow old surrounded by their own children.
But they were too good to deserve happiness like that. So instead they had to die, and show all of us who loved them how pathetic we all are compared to them.
And now in the midst of all my grief and rage at how unfair it all is, I look over at eight new Digidestined. All of them awed and humbled at the sight of the great heroes, whose stories they were raised on, all struck down by an invisible and all powerful enemy.
And I look at two in paticular, a boy named Zane and a girl named Clara, who wear the crests of Hope and Light around their necks. They don't really know about the two perfect people who wore those same symbols before them, but I swear that they will, because I'm going to tell them, and I'm going to make sure that nothing dares to take away their lives, like something took away those of T.K. and Kari, because they deserved more.