Description: After Pacifist (if you choose to stay), the Undertale gang decides to play a casual game of WUSS, which is like HORSE except it involves dares, and passing a dare gets you a letter. Who wins? Caution: slightly disgusting.

P.S: Please, if you can... sing along with Undyne, okay? Thanks.

P.P.S: The stick figure me + troll face indicates that this chapter will be trollish and immature.

"ALRIGHT, IS EVERYONE READY?" shouted Papyrus exuberantly. Everyone nodded or uttered some form of assent (Undyne screamed unintelligibly, while Frisk nodded silently). A hand-knitted hat of Papyrus' lay on the table in front of Frisk, Napstablook, Sans, Papyrus, Undyne, Alphys, Mettaton, Toriel and Asgore, full of slips of paper. On each and every slip of paper, all of the monsters and lone human present had written a variety of dares for each other, from the most gruesome to the very tame. The group of friends was exchanging bets for the winner, the plucky ones betting for themselves and the less bold betting on others. Not surprisingly, the most popular ones were Undyne, Asgore and Frisk.

"now then," said Sans in his deep, baritone rumble. "i'm sure you're all aware of the rules. we all take turns drawing from pappy's hat and choose whether we want to do the dare on the paper we get or pass. passing quice... or four times... oh, whatever. passing four times means you're a W-U-S-S. a wuss. then you lose. last person still standing wins. we clear?"

Despite the casual situation, Sans still managed to sound intimidating, especially with his naturally low voice. There was a collective shiver, and then Mettaton cleared his throat pointedly. "Crystal," the elegant robot said politely.

"OKAY! THANK YOU FOR THAT QUICK RULE RECAP, SANS," said Papyrus, shooting a look at his short skelebro. "ALSO, AS A PRIZE, THE WINNER OF THE GAME WILL RECEIVE A MONTH'S SUPPLY OF MY FAMOUS SPAGHETTI!"

There was a collective sigh at this. Papyrus was not exactly the spaghetti connoisseur he claimed to be. Regardless, everyone was used to the taste of under-cooked pasta, watery tomato sauce and burnt meatballs.

"and, uh," Sans interjected. "a free 500 g meal at grillbz."

As soon as the words had left Sans' mouth, there was utter pandemonium. Undyne flipped the table and roared, "YOU'RE ON, BUDDY!" Alphys flushed and muttered that she was a vegetarian and couldn't eat those things. Papyrus sighed dramatically at Sans and said, "YOU ARE MUCH TOO ENGROSSED IN THE WORLD OF FAST FOOD, MY DEAR BROTHER."

"ALRIGHT, ALRIGHT!" yelled Papyrus over the din. "LET'S NOT GET TOO ROWDY YET! WE'VE GOT LOTS TO DO!"

Eventually, everyone settled down after Undyne managed to reattach the broken table leg with sheer brute force and Frisk calmed down a teary Napstablook, who insisted that he could not win and would rather not participate. (He participated anyway.)

After a quick draw to determine who would go first, Toriel was chosen to be the first one to draw a dare. She nervously inserted a furry white paw into Papyrus' hat, rummaged around a bit and finally withdrew her piece of paper.

"Eat a whole jar of mustard."

Toriel shrugged. "I suppose that cannot be too bad."

The gang of friends crowded around the kindly goat monster as Papyrus carefully handed her a glass jar filled with bright yellow mustard. It was still unopened and brimming with the strong-smelling condiment. "MMM..." Papyrus grinned encouragingly. "GOOD LUCK, ASGORE'S CLONE!"

Alphys passed Toriel a spoon as she stared down the jar. With a quick flick of her paw, she twisted the top off and inhaled the smell. She daintily dipped the spoon into the jar and licked it carefully.

"Not bad." Toriel commented. She took a spoonful this time, swallowed it and paused a moment to let it sink in.

"HURRY UP, TORI!" yelled Undyne. "We haven't got all day, ya know!"

Toriel shrugged. "Rushing myself might result in less-than-favorable circumstances."

Five minutes later, Toriel was just barely halfway through the jar. Undyne was grumbling audibly, Papyrus was shifting around with pent-up energy and Sans had fallen asleep. Even Asgore had to suppress a yawn or two. Bit by bit, the jar of mustard finally dwindled down to a small amount. Toriel had to sniff a couple of times, overwhelmed by the sourness and the powerful fumes.

Finally, Toriel scraped the last few smidgens of mustard off the jar and set it down. "I'm done," Toriel smiled.

Everyone sighed in relief. "I thought we were gonna be here FOREVER!" chortled Undyne as she punched Toriel on the shoulder, nearly knocking her flat on the ground. Toriel then toppled onto Asgore, who fell on Undyne, who crashed into Papyrus, who promptly broke a vase.

After a moment of silence, Papyrus shifted uncomfortably and muttered an apology. In an instant, Sans' eye flashed blue protectively, daring anyone to blame Papyrus.

"undyne."

"Yeah, punk?!"

"say sorry to everyone."

"HUH?! What did I do?!"

Sans looked at her, blue eye flaring threateningly. "lemme repeat myself: you're gonna say sorry, and you're gonna do it now."

Undyne froze, reaching for her spear instinctively before realizing where she was.

"Uh... I mean, SORRY, GUYS! Jeez, Sans, take it easy..." grumbled Undyne.

Sans relaxed and everyone shuddered in relief, except for Papyrus, who was scolding Sans.

"CAN WE CONTINUE NOW? PLEASE?" Papyrus pleaded, putting on his puppy dog face.

"FINE!" yelled Undyne. "I'M GOING NOW!"

Undyne grabbed the hat roughly, shook it so hard that papers went flying in every direction, and yanked a crumpled piece of paper with such force that it tore in two. She slammed the pieces together so hard that they somehow fused back together. Her bright eyes scanned the slip of paper carefully and nearly shrieked out her dare.

"SING THE SONG 'Y.M.C.A" AS LOUD AS YOU CAN IN THE MIDDLE OF SNOWDIN TOWN! ^_^"

"HAH!" cried Undyne. "I can do that!"

Sans shrugged. "let's see you do it, tough gal."

Undyne jumped up so aggressively that the couch toppled over and smacked Papyrus on the noggin. Immediately Sans was at his side, almost as if he had teleported over.

"paps, you okay, buddy?" Sans muttered, giving him a frantic once-over. Papyrus, evidently confused, gave Sans a blank look.

"oh no!" yelled Sans, grabbing Papyrus by the shoulders.

"BROTHER?"

"papyrus, please!"

"BROTHER, I'M-"

"no... no..."

"SANS!"

Sans blinked once. Then twice. Then sighed.

"god, papyrus, you scared me..."

Papyrus grinned. "YOU'RE A WEIRDO, YOU KNOW THAT, BIG BROTHER?"

Undyne screamed impatiently. "LET'S GOOO! Stop with this cheesy, overdone bro-ment!"

She herded the gaggle of friends outside of Sans' and Papyrus' home and into the town square, where she cleared her throat loudly. Townsfolk stopped to look curiously.

"LISTEN UP, YOU PUNKS!" yelled Undyne. "I'm gonna SING for you all, so YOU BETTER," she paused and unsheathed her spear threateningly, "LISTEN," she brandished her weapon around, "TO ME!"

Confused, monsters gathered round, awaiting her musical performance.

And she opened her mouth to sing.

And oh, what a voice it was.

Gravelly-sounding but also strangely melodic, she churned out the lyrics with a rough and twangy voice, similar to the likes of a female Tom Waits, but with less Cookie Monster undertones.

Young man, there's no need to feel down
I said, young man, pick yourself off the ground.
I said, young man, 'cause you're in a new town
There's no need to be unhappy

Alphys, to her credit, started clapping along timidly to the beat. Papyrus followed suit, and soon the whole crowd began tapping along to the rhythm.

Young man, there's a place you can go.
I said, young man, when you're short on your dough
You can stay there, and I'm sure you will find
Many ways to have a good time

Undyne stomped her feet, getting into the song. BOOM, BOOM, BOOM, BOOM, BOOM...

And then the chorus kicked in, with monsters shouting along:

It's fun to stay at the Y.M.C.A
It's fun to stay at the Y.M.C.A

Undyne threw her head back and wailed the next few lines.

They have everything for you men to enjoy,
You can hang out with all the boys...

The crowd swayed to the beat, crying the lyrics out with wild abandon.

It's fun to stay at the Y.M.C.A
It's fun to stay at the Y.M.C.A

Undyne swung her hair from side to side, basking in the glory of the performance.

You can get yourself clean, you can have a good meal,
You can do whatever you feel...

Suddenly, Papyrus began singing along, softly at first, until his high and warbling voice resonated along with Undyne.

Young man, are you listening to me?
I said, young man, what do you want to be?
I said, young man, you can make real your dreams.
But you got to know this one thing!

Undyne spun around dramatically, hissing the lyrics out with a passion that had never been seen before as Papyrus sung backup.

No man does it all by himself
I said, young man, put your pride on the shelf,
And just go there, to the Y.M.C.A
I'm sure they can help you today

This time, the entire crowd stomped, a loud BOOM, BOOM, BOOM, BOOM, BOOM right before the chorus.

It's fun to stay at the Y.M.C.A
It's fun to stay at the Y.M.C.A

"SING IT!" yelled Undyne, and Papyrus stepped right in the middle of the crowd in front of Undyne and sang at the top of his lungs.

You can get yourself clean, you can have a good meal,
You can do whatever you feel...

Young man, I was once in your shoes
I said, I was down and out with the blues
I felt no man cared if I were alive
I felt the whole world was so jive...

Undyne jumped back in, serenading the crowd with her gritty voice.

That's when someone came up to me,
And said, young man, take a walk up the street
There's a place there called the Y.M.C.A
They can start you back on your way

Crowd roaring, Undyne and Papyrus took deep breaths and belted out the final few lyrics, with Undyne singing some lyrics and Papyrus singing others.

It's fun to stay at the Y.M.C.A
It's fun to stay at the Y.M.C.A

They have everything for you men to enjoy,
You can hang out with all the boys...

Y.M.C.A...you'll find it at the Y.M.C.A

Young man, young man, there's no need to feel down
Young man, young man, get yourself off the ground

Y.M.C.A...you'll find it at the Y.M.C.A

Young man, young man, there's no need to feel down
Young man, young man, get yourself off the ground

Y.M.C.A... just go to the Y.M.C.A

Young man, young man, are you listening to me?
Young man, young man, what do you wanna be?

As the song drew to a close, the crowd literally surged forward and buried Undyne and Papyrus with hugs and kisses and autograph requests and shouts of joy and pleas for encores.

Eventually, Undyne resurfaced from the swarms of monsters, dragging Papyrus with her, who was signing autographs six at a time.

"Thanks, guys, but we gotta go," she repeated over and over, her voice getting gruffer as she continued to push through the crowd. Evidently, she didn't want to leave as much as she was trying to look like, but Undyne also knew that Papyrus wouldn't leave, at least for not several hours signing every autograph and talking to every individual.

The two found their little group of friends waiting in the fringes of the massive gathering of monsters. Alphys hugged Undyne happily, which made the red-haired warrior flush a deep crimson while Sans quietly congratulated his brother for his impromptu duet. The rest of the group was full of praise for the duet, and Napstablook even shyly asked Undyne and Papyrus if they wanted to collaborate sometime.

After they finally staggered home, Undyne laughed a little, shaking her head. "Who woulda thunk, huh, Paps?"

"NONSENSE," Papyrus gasped. "UNDYNE, I MUST TELL YOU, THOUGH I DID A FINE JOB OUT THERE, IT WAS ALL YOU, DEAR FRIEND. IT WAS YOUR DARE, AFTER ALL! MY HEARTIEST CONGRATULATIONS, UNDYNE!"

Undyne grinned, a blush fighting its way back onto her scaly cheeks. "Thanks, man. Means a lot."

"alright, alright, let's keep moving. whose turn?" blurted Sans.

Everyone looked at each other, then looked at Sans.

"fu- i mean, f-fine, i'll go." Sans shuffled the paper around until he picked up a tightly folded slip.

"Say: I am a big dumb dick."

Sans looked at the slip. The slip looked back.

"WHAT DOES IT SAY, BROTHER?" Papyrus exclaimed, as full of enthusiasm as ever.

Undyne laughed. "HA! It says- MMPFF!"

Toriel had effectively stopped Undyne's loose tongue by stuffing a paw in front of her mouth and Sans was literally spluttering with anger.

"h-how dare you..." he managed.

Undyne began to sweat profusely and quickly excused herself to the washroom, leaving a confused Papyrus and triumphant Sans.

"welp," Sans said as soon as Undyne scrambled away. "i think i'll pass."

Everyone stared.

Asgore raised his bushy, blond eyebrows. "Sans, you must be joking. Regardless of its vulgarity, it's an easy one."

"eh. to be honest... i'm really quite bone-tired."

Everyone collapsed and groaned comically. Sans' puns were literally the worst things to ever exist in the Underground, and this time, it was even worse with the fact that Sans was passing a dare that even shy Alphys could've done easily.

"VERY WELL, SANS," Papyrus said awkwardly. Sans seemed undisturbed by the reactions he was getting. On the contrary, he seemed rather amused by everyone's shock.

"so who wants to go next, then?" Sans asked lazily. He eyed the group of monsters and smiled. "how 'bout ol' Alphys?"

The shy yellow dinosaur looked up and fiddled with her lab coat. "Uhm... I mean... y-yeah, sure...?"

At that moment, Undyne burst in and yelled, "C'MON, ALPHYS! I know you can do it!"

Alphys blushed so much, she appeared to be more red than yellow. "T-thanks, Undyne... uh, I guess... yeah, I'll go!"

She dug out a piece of paper from the hat and quickly examined it before reddening even more so that she resembled a dinosaur comprised mainly of tomatoes.

"Kiss the person to the right of you!"

Alphys glanced over. She was sitting on the floor of the skelebro's house, next to the kitchen, which... Undyne... had just... appeared... and she was still... standing there... to the right of her...

Alphys' vision grew fuzzy at the edges and before she knew it, she had passed out.

"Man!" Undyne squawked. "What was so bad about that dare that she passed out?"

Everyone exchanged looks, which made Undyne mad, and being mad made her itch for her spear, which she took out and smashed through the floor.

"YOU GUYS!" Undyne sighed. "I'm missing something, huh?"

"Yeah..." Napstablook murmured unhappily.

"SHUT UP, GHOST!" screamed Undyne. Napstablook whimpered and floated away.

"Undyne..." chided Mettaton. "Blooky is upset now thanks to you."

"YEAH?" yelled Undyne. "I'LL GIVE YA UPSET!"

Suddenly she leaped and drove two more spears in the floor of Sans' and Papyrus' house. Incensed, Sans attacked with Gaster Blasters. Papyrus got in the way and consequently died. Frisk went insane trying to stop them and suffered from irreversible brain damage later. Mettaton damaged his legs in the ensuing debris and later committed suicide. Alphys and Undyne attempted to run but were killed by the self-sustaining trash tornado that came out of Sans' room since the entire little house was collapsing. Sans somehow got out alive but was killed by a stray bone of his shortly after. Asgore and Toriel were the only ones that got out alive, but Asgore quickly resigned from being king, made the Underground a constitutional monarchy and lived the rest of his days in the Ruins with Toriel, who reconciled with him but eventually returned to the Underground to become prime minister. After a couple of years, the stress got to Toriel and she left and lived with Asgore on a tentative and rocky friendship. Unfortunately, after several years of somewhat peace, the two mysteriously disappeared without a trace...

A.N: I have no words for this piece. It got a little too serious near the end so I spiced it up with a troll ending. So yeah.

Also if you don't like this troll ending, I might add an alternate ending, but woah, I'm spent from writing this.

There you go: a troll chapter for Whoopee Cushions. How appropriate for this trash collection.

Love you all,

Meikai