Chapter 5: Mach Speed
"So, you wanna go fast, huh?" EXE asked. He crossed his arms and asked "Well, if you wanna go fast, you have to beat me in a race first! Ready, Benny?".
Ben Drowned teleported into the area, while holding a gun.
"Hey, my name is Ben Drowned, not Benny!" Ben Drowned replied angrily.
"Wait, is that a gun?" Grug asked, pointing at Ben Drowned's gun.
"Oh, don't worry. It's a blank! You know, like the ones they use in races." Ben Drowned replied.
"Come on already, Ben. Shoot the gun already." EXE said impatiently.
Ben Drowned sighed and pointed his gun up to the sky.
"Alright. Ready... GO!" Ben Drowned shouted.
He shot the gun, and Grug and EXE shot off. Ben Drowned was left to eat their dust, but as he watched them run off, a bird fell down from the sky and landed on the pavement. The ghost looked at his gun and winced.
"It wasn't a blank." Ben Drowned muttered.
Meanwhile, Grug and EXE were racing neck to neck. EXE was slowly accelerating ahead of Grug.
"No! I won't lose!" Grug said.
The caveman put more power in his legs, and he easily caught up to EXE and surpassed him. EXE actually slowed down in shock.
"N-No way! I'm the fastest thing alive!" EXE said.
"But my legs are faster! I'm really feeling it!" Grug said tauntingly.
EXE's face twisted into an angry scowl.
"Oh, is that how you wanna play it? Well, too bad! No more playing around!" EXE said angrily. He clenched his fists and shouted "YOUR TOO SLOW!".
Suddenly, EXE was enveloped by a bright light, and a grating rendition of "Green Hill Zone" with ridiculous amounts of distortion began to play. Grug had to cover his face with his arm, and he tried to cover his ears, too, but he only had one hand free. As the caveman let his arm down, he noticed that EXE's appearance had drastically changed. Instead of looking like a darker and bloodier version of Sonic the Hedgehog, he now resembled a first-grader's purposely poor attempt at a drawing in MS Paint. But this was no ordinary blue hedgehog. This was Sonic and EXE's meme form, SANIC THE MEME HEGEHOG!
"Gotta go fast!" Sanic shouted in a distorted voice.
And with that, Sanic accelerated to ever higher velocities, surpassing Grug in a matter of milliseconds. He was going so fast he created multiple sonic booms in his wake. He broke Mach 1, then Mach 2, then Mach 3, and so on. Grug stopped running, since he wouldn't be able to catch up to Sanic, so all he could do now was reach out to him and hope that he listened.
"Sanic, don't! You don't have to go this fast!" Grug shouted.
But Sanic would not listen. Mach 7, Mach 10, Mach 13. He was going so fast that the sonic booms created from his extreme speed began tearing down buildings.
"I AM THE FASTERAST THUNG ALEVE!1 THERE CAN ONLY BE ONE!1 ONE!1! I WON't LET NOONE CHAGNE THAT!" Sanic shouted.
"Your going too fast!" Grug shouted.
Mach 17, Mach 18, Mach 19. And then, for some reason, he stopped accelerating. Sanic found that he couldn't go any faster then Mach 19. At least, not in this form. He slowed down and winded to a stop. Grug noticed and relaxed.
"CUM ON, STEP IT UP!" Sanic yelled.
But Grug had relaxed too soon. Seven colored objects that vaguely resembled jewels appeared out of nowhere and spun around Sanic. Harnessing the power of the Cahos Emeroolds, he transformed into SOOPER SANIC!1! Mach 20, Mach 25, Mach 30. The sonic booms were tearing up the ground and causing a minor earthquake. But Sooper Sanic would not stop accelerating.
"THRES NO SUCH THING AS 'TOO FAS"T!1!" Sanic yelled.
"I'm being as serious as I can! Go any faster then that and you'll... you'll reach escape velocity! You'll fly off the face of the earth!" Grug shouted.
"TIEM TO TRULLY ESCEAPE FROM TEH CITY~1!~!" Sanic yelled.
Mach 31... Mach 32... Mach THIRTY-THREE! Sanic reached escape velocity, and with a huge boom, he launched up into the atmosphere. He went so fast, he literally flew into the Sun and was burnt to a crisp. He reverted back into his normal EXE form and fell back to the ground in a heap.