Interesting bit of trivia. This is the second Count's World episode that was based on/inspired by a dream I had. Also, if you're not already doing it, you might want to follow The Count's Blog (thecountsblog) on Tumblr. It's got Count Bleck-related reblogs as well as texts and Facebook posts from the castle. Okay, that's enough. Let's get down to bweesniss.

Errand day for Castle Bleck was usually a simple, well-organized affair. Today they were going to Toad Town, which was usually an easy trip. Toad Town had great resources, and it was one of the towns that didn't notice them too much. Sure, creatures besides Toads weren't a common sight, but they had gotten used to the Castle Bleck residents by now. Because of that, the idle weekday morning paid them little to no notice as the few Toads actually out and around at this time went about their business.

"All right. Everybody is going to get an assignment today, instructed Count Bleck. Are you all ready?"

"Ready," said Mimi.

"Ready," said O'Chunks.

"I suppose I'm also ready," said Dimentio.

"Nastasia will give you your assignments," said Count Bleck. "Everyone listen, all right?"

Nastasia cleared her throat. "Ahem. Yeah, so here's what you need to do in town today. O'Chunks, you need to take the following list to Shroom Grocery here and purchase the recorded items. Dimentio, here's your shopping list. You need to go to Harry's Shop at the other side of town to do the rest of the shopping."

"Why are there two shops in town?" Dimentio asked as he took his list and the purse of coins for the purchase.

"One of 'em's fer later in the game when yeh got more money and HP," said O'Chunks.

"Ah. I see."

"Mimi," Nastasia continued, "Your job is to disguise yourself as someone trustworthy and convince the local chef, Tayce T., to give up her procedure for preparing Spicy Soup."

"What? That's a weird assignment. Why?"

"Because," said Count Bleck, "it's different from the Spicy Soup that Saffron makes and Count Bleck wishes to know why."

Mimi flipped her pigtail. "Ugh, fine. I'll see what I can do."

"Meanwhile," said Nastasia, "I will be comparing notes with Russ T. for some information missing from the archives at Castle Bleck as well as picking up our mail from the post office."

"Nassie's doing two jobs? What are you going to be doing, Count Bleck?" asked Mimi.

"Timpani and I will enjoy a refreshing drink and some choice entertainment at Club 64," said Count Bleck. "You will meet us there in one hour after your assignments are completed. You may spend the time between finishing your chore and meeting us at the club however you wish."

"Wait," said Mimi, "we're going to be working while you go on a date with your wife?"

"Yes. It's one of the many perks of being the Count."

"'E's got yeh there," said O'Chunks to Mimi.

"Yeah, I guess he does."

"Very well. Minions, whenever you're ready. You have one hour."

With that, they parted.

O'Chunks went right to the Shroom Grocery, which was in the same plaza as the entrance. It was situated in a building that backed up against a dojo. Dimentio followed him.

"Welcome to Shroom Grocery," said the green-spotted toad working there.

"Oh, I guess you were right," said Dimentio. "Say, O'Chunks-"

"No," said O'Chunks. "You do your own job."

"Of course," said Dimentio. "But if I should happen to, say-"

O'Chunks yanked his list away from Dimentio's creeping hand. "If yeh don't know where the place is, why don't you ask fer directions?"

"Yes. Of course." He turned his head to the toad. "Say, shopkeeper, could you divulge to me the location of one Harry's Shop?"

"Oh, sure," said the toad, "that's what I'm about to do. Tell a weirdo how to get to my competitor. Yeah. I'll get right on that."

They watched him in his following silence.

"I don't think he's going to do it," said Dimentio.

Just then, the wall behind them exploded and a Duplighost came flying backwards. He crashed smack into O'Chunks, who didn't flinch. The Duplighost got up quickly and bowed. "My apologies!" he squawked. "I was just practicing with Chan in the dojo's basement and things got a little out of hand."

"That's the third time this month!" the Toad bellowed. "I am getting really sick of repairing this wall! The Master is going to have to shell out for this, because my insurance won't pay for it again!"

Dimentio started to slink away before he could get involved in whatever this was. O'Chunks grabbed his cape. "Er, if yeh still want to trade..."

"Oh, no," said Dimentio, "You're right. I've been given a job to do by the Count, and I must do it. And so I depart, like a trolley rolling away from its scheduled stop only moments before you arrive." And with that, Dimentio floated out of the room.

It took him about twenty minutes to finally find Harry T.'s shop, after checking out the latest news headlines, scribbling his own addition to the back of the notice board, getting hypnotized by the spinning roof on the nearby house, watching some adorable li'l oinks grazing in a pen, and peeking through Tayce T.'s window to see if she and Mimi were getting along. Mimi spotted him and made subtle go away cretin gestures, so he didn't stick around long enough to blow her cover. When he made it to the store at last, he felt quite pleased with himself for some reason.

"Welcome to Harry's Shop," said Harry T. "What can I get for you today?"

"Yes, hello," said Dimentio aloofly. He pulled the list out of his pocket. "I need the following items in the following quantities: Ten super shrooms, fifteen tasty tonics, seven stone caps, and a dizzy dial. Please," he added, remembering how much trouble he had with people without it.

"I can get all that for you," said Harry. He began cranking on his adding machine. "That'll be... five hundred coins exactly."

Dimentio pulled out a coin pouch and weighed it with his hand. "Five hundred, exactly," he said, tossing it all to Harry T. "If it's a little heavy, that's a tip from the Count."

Harry T. grinned. "Hey, thanks. I'll get that ready for you." He began bagging the items from his shelves. "So, you from around here?"

"No." Dimentio studied his fingers intently.

"Really? You in town long?"

"Not much longer."

"Interesting." Harry stepped over to the next item on the list. "Where you from?"

"Another dimension." Dimentio was trying very hard to make his irritation obvious without saying anything that would ruin his task.

"Oh, that's interesting." Fortunately, his frostiness was sending the right message to Harry, and he continued bagging in silence. Finally, when two brown bags were full, he handed them to Dimentio. "Well, there's your shopping. Thanks again."

"You are most welcome," replied Dimentio. "And now I depart, like... a trolley rolling away from its scheduled stop only moments before you arrive. I didn't use that one here, right?" He backed out of the shop to the street.

Outside, he took a deep, calming breath. The sky was clear, the sun was warm, and the air was fresh. The kind of day Dimentio used to dream about building for himself.

"Hey. You!"

Dimentio turned around and saw, under a tree next to the shop, a large pink-and-purple worm with an enormous top hat and a yellow bow-tie, grinning at him.

"Hey, you," said Dimentio, unsure of what tone to take. He hoped whatever came out of his mouth was correct.

"Chuck Quizmo's the name, and quizzes are my game! You want quizzes, I got 'em."

"But I don't want them," said Dimentio.

"Well, do you want star pieces?" offered Chuck Quizmo.

Dimentio hesitated. "I do want star pieces," he said.

The worm's grin grew. "Well, boy, do I have star pieces! But I don't just hand 'em out, oh, no! They're prizes for answering my brain-busting questions! What do you say?"

Dimentio rubbed his chin thoughtfully. "Well..." he said, "I do have around half an hour left before I need to meet with the Count. Will I be done by then?"

"Oh, of course!" Chuck Quizmo said. "Yeah, no, this won't take long at all! Whaddaya say?"

Dimentio shrugged his shoulders a little. "Oh, very well," he said. "I'll play your little quiz game."

"Fantastic," said Chuck Quizmo. "Now, hold onto my hat."

"Don't you mean, 'hold onto your hats?"

"No," said Chuck Quizmo, "I meant for you to grab onto my hat and hold on."

Dimentio stared at him, as if waiting for the punch line, then shrugged again and touched the brim of Chuck's hat with his fingertips.

Immediately he felt some powerful dimensional force. To the outside world it appeared that they had flattened into the circle of his top hat, then simply phased out of existence. But Dimentio recognized Quizmo's style of travel, as it was similar to the one he himself used to move through worlds. The world around them seemed to bend and distort, before re-shaping itself into something so different Dimentio had to take a minute to get his bearings.

They reappeared on an enormous, blue-toned soundstage with bright lights shining down from all angles. There was a huge, white circle painted in the center of the stage, with three red podiums planted down the diameter. Each podium had a blue screen on the front, and a microphone and red button on the top. Behind the podiums was a big screen, which showed the view from whichever of multiple cameras were currently filming, two for each contestant and several others around the stage. There was a stand for the quizmaster to officiate from, which Chuck Quizmo inched his way over to. Facing the podium were rows of bleachers, all empty. There seemed to be no entrance or exit to this room, aside from Chuck's own.

Dimentio squinted under the stage lights and was surprised to see that podiums two and three were already occupied by none other than Count Bleck and Tippi! "Oh. Fancy seeing you here, Count," said Dimentio, shielding his eyes.

"I know, isn't it odd?" Count Bleck said, grinning as usual. "My wife and I were having a disagreement while we were in the club-"

"It was a fight, Blumiere," said Tippi. "We were having a fight."

"About whether or not I already knew as much trivia as she did about the surrounding world," Count Bleck continued.

"And I said that, as an information pixl, I already knew almost everything- including things I didn't realize I knew until we were facing it."

"And I said that wasn't exactly true."

"Can we please not have this fight again?" said Tippi. "We already decided to let Chuck Quizmo settle it!"

"Of course, my dear," said Count Bleck, without a trace of sarcasm or irony. He seemed to be thoroughly enjoying this.

"Hm," said Dimentio. "It seems like this might have been the more interesting story to have been following."

"Not really," said Tippi. "It was a surprisingly dull fight."

"Ahem," said Chuck Quizmo. "Are you ready to begin? Take your places!"

Dimentio got behind the empty podium. As he moved, several Lakitu clouds lowered down from the ceiling, each one with a camera on top, but no Lakitu to speak of, catching all the angles of the stage. One of them had a red light blink on. Immediately after, Chuck Quizmo began: "Kaaaa-wiz! It's everybody's favorite quizmaster, Chuck Quizmo! Here on our brand new game show, Right Answer or Die!"

"That's a... pretty grim name," said Tippi, but her microphone wasn't on.

"I'm here with our three contestants who are ready to win some star pieces! Let's meet them now. Contestant one, care to tell us a little about yourself?"

A lakitu with a camera zoomed right up to Dimentio's face, red light on.

"Er... that is... my name is Dimentio. Master of dimensions," he added lamely.

"And where are you from, Dimentio?"

"That's really none of your business," he said curtly.

"Oh, I'm sure it's not, I'm sure it's not," said Chuck Quizmo. "What are your hobbies? Your job? Your hopes? Your dreams?"

"To- um- well, to be perfectly honest, I don't actually have any of those at the moment. I'm a bit blasé lately.

"Well, you'll find your way, I'm sure of it. Hats off to you, friend," said Chuck, tipping his hat. "Not really. It keeps my brain warm. And all those trivia questions fresh! Okay! Contestant number two! Tell us about yourself!"

The camera drone went away from Dimentio, who let out a relieved breath. Count Bleck gave the camera a polite and dignified wave before he himself bowed. "Hello, television viewers. My name is Count Bleck. I am married, no children- or, rather, four non-biological children- and my current occupation is making the world a better place."

"Such a noble goal," said Chuck Quizmo. "I look forward to living in that world."

"It's the Count's world," said Count Bleck.

"Aaahhh, he said it! And lastly, contestant number three, tell us about yourself."

"I'm the wife," said Tippi. "My name is Timpani, but most people call me Tippi. I'm a human who was transformed into a pixl, and I know pretty much everything about anything."

"Big words," said Chuck Quizmo. "Let's see if you can back them up. Ready to start? Round one! Ten questions. Hit the buzzer if you know the answer. Any questions?"

The contestants looked at each other, but there were none.

"All right. Ready? Begin! Question one: How many Star Spirits live in Star Haven?"

Everybody slammed down on the buzzer, but Tippi was fastest. "Seven!" she said proudly.

A big white circle appeared on her podium. "Correct!" said Chuck Quizmo. "Question two... where does the famous explorer Kolorado live when he isn't on adventures?"

Again, everyone hit the buttons, but this time Count Bleck was fastest. "Koopa Village, and if we both know the answers, isn't this really a test of speed as well as knowledge? It might not settle our argument for keeps."

"Your comment will be taken into consideration for future game shows," said Chuck Quizmo. "Question Three! What is my name?"

Count Bleck was fastest on the buzzer this time. "... Count Bleck has already forgotten," he admitted sheepishly.

"Very well, understandable. Contestant Number One, I believe you were next."

Dimentio cleared his throat, leaned into the microphone, and said tentatively, "Chuck Quizmo."

"Keeee-rect! Glad I left an impression on someone. All right, question four. Before opening the Thousand Year Door, where was the Diamond Star hidden?"

Tippi was the only one to hit the buzzer, fluttering up and letting her whole weight drop on it, she was so light. "In the belly of Hooktail the dragon!" she crowed.

"Yes! Oh boy, we're on a roll now! Alright, next question... what question is this?"

There was a hesitation.

"Is that the question?" asked Count Bleck.

"Yes," said Chuck Quizmo.

Dimentio hit the buzzer. "Question five," he said, as he had been meticulously counting this so that he would know how soon he could leave.

"Hope I'm not boring you," Chuck Quizmo laughed. "Actually, I think this whole ordeal might be a little dry. What say we make it more interesting?"

"I'm game," said Tippi.

"Me, too," said Count Bleck.

"Everybody who's in favor of spicing up the quiz show a little more, go ahead and press your buzzer within the next five seconds." Chuck tapped his cards on the podium and gave them a flashy grin.

Dimentio, Count Bleck, and Tippi all pressed their buzzers. One big O appeared on the big screen behind them.

"Heh heh heh... all right," said Chuck, his voice taking on a sinister tone. "Just remember, though... you asked for this."