Title: Devotion

Chapter Title: Complicated Feelings

Rated: T

Notes: I will never give up on this story no matter how long it takes me to update it. I'm just sorry I keep making everyone wait for so long because I can't get my shit together long enough to park my butt and type words.

Two years and three rewrites later and it's finally complete! I'm incredibly proud of myself! Beta'ed by Jessica-X and Canitellusmthin

Warning: Literally just fluff. Cute fluff and a jealous Elsa.

"Hey, Elsa?"

Elsa looks up from her history paper to give Anna a curious glance. They are sitting in the school library, textbooks laying open on the table. It's free period for both sophomores and Elsa decided that she wanted to be productive and spend the period on homework rather than laying in the grass outside like they usually did. Surprisingly, Anna ended up following her.

Anna has been weirdly quiet up until this point, looking distracted and fidgeting with her braid for most of the period. Elsa noticed more than once that she would occasionally look her way, open her mouth as though to say something, then shut it again and go back to fidgeting. The blonde decided it best not to push, patiently waiting for her best friend to work up the courage to say what she needed to get off her chest.

Now that Anna has Elsa's attention, she seems uncomfortable with it. She shifts in her seat slightly and tucks a strand of hair behind her ear, eyes focusing a little past Elsa's shoulder rather than meeting her gaze straight on. It almost reminds Elsa of the way Anna acts when she's in trouble and has to confess to her father what she did wrong.

Anna's cheeks become a soft pink and her gaze shifts shyly to finally meet Elsa's. "Hey."

"Hi, yourself," Elsa responds, smiling reassuringly at her. "Going to talk to me about what's bothering you now?"

Anna's cheeks darken further and she takes in a deep breath before finally taking the plunge. "So remember how Mulan asked me if I wanted to go to a movie with her and some others last week?"

Elsa does remember. Anna had been fairly excited that the senior had asked. She talked Elsa's ear off for hours about the excitement of making new friends.

Ever since getting back from said movie, Anna has been surprisingly tight lipped about the whole get together. Elsa figured it didn't go well and decided not to push the redhead for details. However, by the blush and subtle smile on Anna's face, Elsa feels painfully out of the loop.

Instead of pointing that out, the blonde simply nods and gestures for Anna to continue. Anna takes another breath and Elsa can see the hardened resolve in those precious teal eyes.

"So, it turned out it was only me and Mulan. Apparently everyone else bailed," Anna explains, reaching up to play with her braid again. "It was really nice. She's really nice. She bought a popcorn for us to share and she treated me to dinner after. I had a really fun time." Elsa watches as Anna crosses her arms over her belly. Another sign of nerves. "She ended up driving me home."

There is silence after that. Confusion starts to weigh in Elsa's mind, questions forming that Elsa barely manages to keep to herself for now. Why is Anna so nervous if she had such a good time? Did something happen? Did Anna get hurt and she's trying to hide it?

A feeling of protectiveness washes over her and she finds herself looking Anna over with a sharp eye, searching thoroughly for any visible signs of injury. Her eyes narrow at the lack of evidence. Anna must notice because she giggles quietly, relaxing her stance and giving Elsa a fondly exasperated look.

"I'm fine, Elsa. I mean it when I said it was a nice time." Anna reaches out and takes her best friend's hands in her own, soothingly rubbing her thumbs over Elsa's palms. Elsa finds herself relaxing.

"Then why are you so nervous?" the blonde questions gently. "It's not like you to be like this over a nice time, Anna. You are usually so much more excited."

Anna bit her lip again, teasing the flesh between her teeth for several seconds before she let out a little huff. "I'm being silly," she admits. "I just...I dunno. I hear horror stories and usually I can ignore them but I can't right now because it's you and I can't stand the thought of you turning me away over something like this."

"Anna." Elsa pulls her hands out of Anna's grip in order to take Anna's hands in hers instead. She lifts one of them to her mouth and places a light kiss to Anna's knuckle. "Whatever it is, I doubt I'll just decide to drop you as a friend. We've known each other for ages." Anna looks away sheepishly. "Come on, out with it. What has you so bent out of shape?"

There is a small pause before Anna finally whispers, "She kissed me...and I really liked it."

Elsa blinks at her. "That's it?"

"What do you mean, that's it?" Anna huffs. "I've been stressing out over this since it happened! Mulan asked if I wanted to go out again next week and I said yes. Does this mean we're dating? Does this mean I'm gay?" The girl pouts at her, eyes watery. "I'm so confused right now and I keep hearing stories about people ditching people they've known their whole lives over stuff like this…"

Elsa sighs and gives Anna a gentle look. "Well, I'm not one of those people," she says, giving Anna's hand another kiss. "You are practically my sister. I would never abandon you, Anna." Elsa stands up and moves over to sit beside her tearful friend, pulling her into a hug. "So what if you might be gay? Now I just get to listen to you ramble about girls rather than boys. Unless you like both? I read somewhere that's a thing."

Anna snuggles into Elsa's embrace, her whole body going lax as the nerves left her. "I don't know," she murmurs against her shoulder. "I'm still not sure what all of this means. I- I guess if I have another good time with Mulan, I can talk about it with her and figure it all out later?"

Elsa smiles and strokes Anna's hair. "I'll be here for you all the way," she reassures. Her heart flutters with warmth as Anna pulls her face away from her shoulder and peers up at her with an expression of pure joy and adoration. Anna's arms wrap strongly around her waist and Anna places a swift kiss on Elsa's cheek.

The rest of the period is spent with Anna excitedly going into every detail of her and Mulan's 'date' and Elsa nodding along, happy and content that everything is back to normal.

Christmas shopping is always a chore Elsa dreads.

There is only a week away until her little family's visit to her parents for the holidays and Elsa finds herself woefully behind on her shopping in her haste to get everything prepared for the trip. Now, she finds herself spending her only day off in a crowded shopping mall, slowly tackling her gift list, instead of spending the day relaxing at home in her pajamas.

'There is one plus to it though,' Elsa thinks to herself with a subtle smile. She turns a fond gaze to the woman she has her arm casually linked with. Anna is beaming, looking around the mall at all the decorations that have been put up to celebrate the season with starry eyes. Elsa finds it cute how Christmas always brings out the childish wonder in her best friend. 'This is the first time since Olaf was born that we got to spend any time alone together.'

That thought brings a small blush to the pale woman's cheeks. Her feelings for Anna have become increasingly complicated over the last few months and it's little moments like these where Elsa realizes that the easy days of seeing Anna as nothing but a friend are over. 'I make it sound like we're a couple.'

She snaps out of her thoughts at the light tap of Anna's hip against her own. She turns her head in mild surprise to see Anna giving her an odd look. "You spaced out. I don't think you heard a word I just said." Anna gives her a playful grin and Elsa relaxes with the knowledge that she doesn't take offense to Elsa's lack of attention.

"I'm sorry, Anna, what is it you were saying?"

"Nothing important," Anna responds. Elsa feels the warmth of Anna's body as she stepped closer, just enough to press into Elsa's side comfortably while still being able to walk with ease. She had been free from the bakery not even half an hour earlier and still smells strongly of warm bread and chocolate. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine." Elsa means it. She's content and happy despite her conflicting thoughts. "Just thinking about what I'm getting everyone, that's all."

A look of consideration crosses Anna's face. "Who did you buy for so far?"

"My parents, Oaken and Adrian."

"Okay, that's a good start! I'll make this easier for you, too. You don't have to get me anything." Anna beams. "You can spend extra on something for Olaf instead."

Elsa frowns and gives the redhead a pout. "That's not fair! You've done so much for me these past how many months...the least I can do is get you something nice!"

"Don't worry about that, Elsa," Anna says gently. "So long as you and Olaf are happy...that's all the gift I need."

She leans in and for a heart stopping second, Elsa thinks Anna's going to kiss her. Instead, Anna presses a soft kiss to Elsa's cheek. The warmth and adoration in her eyes when she meets Elsa's gaze makes the blonde feel a powerful rush of love for the redhead still attached to her arm and she doesn't resist the urge to return the gesture, heedless to the fact that they were now standing in the middle of a crowded mall. Elsa briefly worries about whether this is sending the wrong signal...whether it was appropriate to be doing this with someone who for all intents and purposes was supposed to be just a very dear friend.

"At least don't get me anything, if that's the case." Elsa manages to say past the blood roaring in her ears. Anna tilts her head at her with a mischievous grin.

"Elsa," she cooed. "I got your gift already." Anna giggles and pulls away, tugging gently on Elsa's arms to get them walking again.

"T-Then I should get you something!" Elsa protests, matching her pace easily and giving the little imp at her side a firm glare. "You can't just say not to get you anything then go ahead and tell me you got me something!"

Anna giggles again. "I told you, Elsa. I'm perfectly happy right now. I don't need anything else."

'Except that isn't true…' Elsa thought, her heart constricting. 'You want something that you aren't willing to ask me for…and I have no idea how-'

"Anna? Elsa?" a voice suddenly cut through Elsa's thoughts like a lightning bolt. A very familiar voice.

"Mulan?" Anna asks, perking up and grinning with excitement. The redhead let go of Elsa's arm and just like that, Elsa is left feeling so much colder as she watches Anna barrel straight into her ex girlfriend. "Oh my gosh! It is you! How have you been!? You look great!" Anna gushes happily.

Mulan gives the redhead an easy smile in return. "Hey there, Anna." She reaches up and gives the smaller woman an affectionate ruffle of her hair. "I tried calling for you when you passed by my gym but I guess you didn't hear me. I lost you in the crowd for a bit but I'm glad I caught up." Mulan's dark eyes drift over to gaze at Elsa, who still stands frozen where Anna left her. "Hello to you too, Elsa."

"Hello, Mulan," Elsa greets stiffly, shifting on the balls of her feet uncomfortably. Mulan had been a small constant in her life during Anna and Elsa's sophomore year when she and Anna dated. Soon into their Junior year, both women had broken up on mutual terms due to Mulan graduating high school. Elsa always found herself more guarded around her back then, chalking it up to being overprotective over Anna.

Not that Mulan ever treated her poorly. On the contrary, she had been very sweet with Elsa's favourite redhead during their time dating and up until Anna and Mulan lost contact several years ago. Even so, seeing the woman now sets an uncomfortable weight in her belly.

Mulan gives Elsa a cool smile before turning her attention back to Anna. "I was just going to go for some lunch, would you like to join me?" she asks. "We can catch up."

"We'd love to!" Anna chirps, looking delighted at the suggestion. She turns to Elsa and holds out her hand. "Come on, Elsa! Let's go get some food!" Elsa gives Anna a tight smile and walks towards the two without a word.

Anna holds both of their hands as they walk towards the food court, easily chatting between the two of them when Mulan and Elsa weren't making awkward small talk with one another. If Anna notices the uneasy atmosphere between the two women, she doesn't mention it. At one point, Anna tilts her head to lean briefly against Elsa's shoulder as she talks and the weight in Elsa's stomach eases its pressure slightly.

It doesn't take long for the three of them to retrieve their food and sit down. Elsa and Anna share a booth while Mulan sits across from them. At first, the conversation is casual. Simple stories swapped about jobs and general going ons since they last got together. Elsa doesn't bring up Olaf, deciding it best not to dive into the story when they were just keeping it light, and Anna seems to pick up on her reluctance to mention her son and doesn't either.

Mulan, as it turns out, has been working as a gym instructor. Helping train people new to the gym lifestyle. She smiles as she recounts three particular men who ended up turning into her most loyal repeat members, telling funny stories about their earnest, if bumbling, efforts in the beginning. Anna goes into a passionate recounting about how she ended up impressing her boss by making a complicated cake order a full day and a half earlier than expected, beaming in pride at Mulan's full hearted praise. Elsa simply talks about her boss, a wonderful man named Zeus Hercule, who took Elsa under his wing and is currently helping her work her way up the ladder in the company.

It's simple and easy. Until it isn't.

Mulan is suddenly sitting next to Anna, sharing one of the dishes Mulan had bought that Anna had expressed interest in. Their bodies are pressed close, Anna brushes a hand behind her ear and there is a pink tint to her cheeks when Mulan leans in even closer to ask how the food tastes. Mulan's dark eyes clearly reflect her interest in the woman and Anna isn't particularly discouraging her when she gives her one of those adorable grins and giggles.

Mulan is bold and confident, a far cry from the awkward senior she used to be, and has the distinct advantage of having dated Anna before. She knows Anna's tells almost as well as Elsa does.

It's like a beast is released. Something fierce and angry. Elsa finds herself unable to stand this blatant display.

Elsa reaches out to wrap a possessive arm around Anna's waist, snuggling up against the redhead's back and planting her chin on Anna's left shoulder so that her mouth is beside Anna's ear. 'Anna has sensitive ears,' Elsa remembers when Anna confessed that fact to her and is thankful for the knowledge. Already, she can feel the warmth of the blood rising in Anna's cheeks. Elsa gives Mulan a catish smile. "Sorry, I was feeling a little left out of the conversation," she says, forcing a casual tone. "How was the food, Anna?"

She can feel the shaky breath Anna takes against her chest and this close, she can hear the way Anna's voice faintly quivers when she says, "It was really good." Elsa smiles and gives her cheek an affectionate nuzzle.

"Good." She hums, unable to resist looking towards Mulan out of the corner of her eye. Mulan has leaned back from her close proximity yet remained where she sat at Anna's side. The other woman looks almost puzzled. The beast inside Elsa's chest purrs its satisfaction.

Anna picks up a glass of water and takes a deep drink, getting increasingly flustered. Elsa snuggles closer but decides to grant Anna a small mercy by lifting her head away from Anna's ear now that she staked her claim. Anna lets out a soft sigh that Elsa notes is from relief.

"So, should I be congratulating you two?" Mulan sounds amused. "I should've figured you guys were dating when I found you tangled up together in the middle of the mall."

"Wait what?" Anna looks alarmed and Elsa's heart jumps painfully in her chest. "N-no no, nothing like that! We've always been really close, remember? I mean, technically we are raising a baby together but that's just-" Anna freezes and Elsa's eyes go wide at the slip up. Mulan's brow raises high and she looks completely baffled by the news.

"You two...are raising a baby together?" She asks, "Since when?"

"March." Elsa whispers, "He...was born in March." She swallows hard and Anna gives her a look of concern that Elsa ignores. "His name is Olaf."

Mulan leans in, looking interested. "I knew you two were close friends but raising a baby together?" She shakes her head and leans back with a heavy breath. Despite Anna's statement having cooled Elsa's jealousy somewhat, she feels satisfied that Mulan completely backed off at this point. "I have to say, Anna, I'm finding it a little hard to believe."

"He's our son," Elsa blurts out. "The circumstances were less than ideal but Anna stepped up to help me." Her heart flutters and she swallows, finding it a little tough to do so. Anna has gone completely still in her arms, breath hitched, and Elsa curses herself for being at Anna's back so she's unable to see Anna's expression.

It's the first time either of them called Olaf, 'ours'... and Elsa is amazed at just how right that sounds. Because he is theirs. Anna is a part of every step of the journey of motherhood and it makes Elsa's chest feel tight with emotion that they hadn't really acknowledged it in this way.

It's as clear as a bell now, what Anna's perfect Christmas present is going to be.

Mulan nods slowly before she gives them both a warm smile, seemingly unaware of the bombshell that had been dropped on both women. "Well, congratulations on the baby are in order." She lifted her glass of water in a little cheers. "I'd toast but Anna demolished both of your drinks already."

Finally, Anna snaps out of her stupor. "Y-yeah." She breathes, shaking her head slightly before leaning back against Elsa's chest. Elsa brings her other arm to loop around Anna's waist. Not to draw her closer but simply to support her.

"Me and my fiancée are thinking of trying for a baby." Mulan muses, "I want to wait a little bit yet but she's pretty keen. How tough is it to raise one?"

'Wait what?' Elsa's brain short circuits at the word 'fiancée' and she completely loses track of the conversation while Anna, having mostly gotten over whatever thoughts had assaulted her, happily starts gushing over the experience. Elsa feels shame and horror dawn on her as she looks back and realises that all of the signs that she thought were there were entirely fabricated by her own jealous mind. 'Oh my god, I must've looked like an idiot...and I must've made Anna so uncomfortable taking advantage of her like that.' Guilt hits her like a truck and she has to bite her lip to keep from crying.

A gentle hand touches her face and Elsa looks down to see Anna's beautiful eyes peering up at her in concern. "You okay?" she asks softly. Elsa glances up to see that Mulan is now absent from the table.

"I-I'm sorry," she chokes out. "Did she leave because I wasn't responding?"

"Nah, she went to the bathroom." Anna frowns up at her. "No changing the subject, talk to me. You okay?"

"I'm so sorry, Anna," she whimpers, pressing her forehead against Anna's and trying so hard not to cry. "I'm sorry, I got stupid and made you uncomfortable."

"It was a little weird," Anna confesses but she doesn't sound angry. "What, did you think I was just gonna ditch you or something? You got really clingy kind of out of nowhere." It's an awkward angle but Anna's fingers start brushing through her hair and she feels herself relaxing into the touch.

"K-Kind of."

"That's silly." Anna's tone is fond, "I'd never ditch you like that, Elsa. Don't cry… I hate to see you cry."

Elsa gives the redhead a watery smile. "You are too sweet." She sighed, "What on earth did I do to deserve you?"

Anna grins. "Oh hush, you." She giggles and presses an affectionate kiss to Elsa's cheek. "Come on now, we're okay." Elsa takes a deep breath and closes her eyes. The guilt and shame is still there but Anna's reassurances helped lessen the impact of her emotions.

She's confused about these changes. How rapidly their relationship has been changing since the night she discovered Anna's feelings for her. How she no longer can feel content believing what she feels for the redhead in her arms is platonic.

It scares her how rapidly she finds herself falling so deeply in love.