Title: Devotion

Chapter Title: Confession

Rated: T

Notes: Here it is! The first chapter of Devotion Revamped! Hopefully, I actually did improve on it rather than make it worse lol. I hope you all enjoy it! As for the fate of my first copy, I have been requested to keep it up on my account until I catch up to where I was and I intend to do just that.

xxxxx

Elsa is five years old. She can count to twenty-five, recite the entire alphabet with only a couple of mistakes, and she can even read a couple of her books by herself. She has a grasp on the concept of the seasons and the rule that bedtime was at seven and no later. She's even starting to understand the reasonings behind chocolate only after supper and brushing her teeth three times a day, though it doesn't stop her from finding the former rule dumb.

However, she is still too young to understand the logic behind going to the hospital no matter how much her parents try to explain it to her. She doesn't understand that the needles are to help protect her from disease or that the soft-spoken nurse is just trying to get her X-rays done with that big, scary machine. All she really knows is that she doesn't like them. She doesn't like the pain as the needle slides in or the sight of the blood. She doesn't like the big bruises left over from the rough hands of her family doctor. She doesn't like the awful smell of antiseptic and the too white walls of the building and the way it's too loud in some parts and too quiet in others.

So when her Mama and Papa brought her to the hospital instead of her favorite ice cream parlor like they said they were going to, she ran as fast as her little legs could carry her.

She's hiding now, shaking like a leaf in a dimly lit closet. She hears footsteps echoing loudly and a multitude of adults talking about things she can't understand just beyond the door. She heard her Papa calling her name in his angry voice awhile ago but she simply buries more into the safety of her nest of fallen coats and doesn't come out.

She feels like a bad girl. After all, only bad girls run away and hide from their parents like this. But Elsa is terrified of the needles and the machine and refuses to move despite the thought of doing something wrong making her tummy clench painfully.

Then the door lets out a low groan as it's opened from the outside and Elsa freezes and holds her breath in terror, hoping against hope that her parents won't yell at her for getting into trouble.

"Hi!"

And just like that Elsa can breathe again because the person standing at the door isn't her angry Papa but a cute, freckled redheaded girl around her age with chocolate stains on her grinning face. She's wearing a pair of faded blue shorts and a Hello Kitty shirt that's just as dirty with chocolate as her face is. There is a gaping hole in her mouth where a tooth is missing and it makes a slight lisp as she talks.

"Want some?" The girl questions and there is a friendly sparkle in her teal eyes as she holds out half a chocolate bar to her. Elsa nods shyly and reaches out to take the sweet offering. Her cheeks become tinged pink when the other girl beams at her.

"Um.." Elsa glances at the open door and reaches up to fiddle with her braid nervously, "M-May you please close the door? I'm hiding…"

The redhead tilts her head in confusion but, thankfully, she does as Elsa asks. "Whatcha hidin' from?" She sits in front of Elsa cross-legged and smiles so sweetly that Elsa can't help but respond.

"I don't like it here," She confesses. The girl nods and it encourages her to continue. "My doctor is too rough and the machines are really scary...I don't know why Mama and Papa keep bringing me here."

The girl reaches over to pat her on the shoulder. "You don't have to be scared," She reassures and Elsa giggles slightly because her r's sound more like w's and she forgot the t in don't. The little girl giggles right alongside her, "My daddy is a doctor! He's very nice and he just wants to help keep you-" Her little nose scrunches up and a look of concentration briefly crosses her face before she lights up like a Christmas Tree. Elsa just sits in awe at how...expressive she is. "Healthy! Daddy uses all the machines and stuff to help kids stay healthy!"

Elsa blinks. She hears her parents use that word lots of times when they talk of why they bring her to this awful place but she has no clue what it means. The girl seems to understand her confusion. "It means you won't get sick."

"So...the doctor helps keep me from getting sick?" She remembers the one time she had gotten sick with a fever during the middle of winter. It had been an awful period, filled with coughing and pain and heat and boredom and it makes her shudder at the memory. "I don't like being sick."

"Me either." Her new friend nods as seriously as a five-year-old can, "My mama gets sick a lot and she says it's awful! So that's what the doctors are for! They help keep you from getting sick and help make you feel better when you are!"

Elsa nibbles on her lower lip. "If they make you feel better, why does it hurt?" She asks timidly, "My doctor always leaves big bruises on my arm and the needle hurts lots when he makes it go in…"

The girl huffs and sticks her tongue out in distaste. "You probably had that meany Dr. Silver that's why. Daddy told me he isn't allowed to work with kids like us anymore. But my Daddy is really gentle and he's really funny! Let's go meet him and you'll see for yourself!"

She stands up then, brushes her dirty hands against her shorts to 'clean' them then holds one out to Elsa. There is a determined look on her face and despite the sinking feeling in Elsa's stomach, she finds herself smiling as she hesitantly reaches out to grab it.

"My name is Anna by the way!"

"I'm Elsa."

It takes them awhile to find Elsa's Mama and Papa talking in urgent voices with a man so tall that Elsa was reminded of the giants of her fairy tale book. When the adults notice the two toddlers standing together, hand in hand, there is a flock of activity. First, Elsa is picked up by her Mama and hugged so tight that it hurt briefly to breathe. Once she is back on her feet on the ground, her Papa scolds her for a long time before he hugs her too. All the while, Anna stands at the giant's side and explains to the best of her ability what happened.

Her Mama introduces the giant as Dr. Oaken and explains that he's going to be her doctor from now on. The man's face, contrary to his size and scary appearance, is very warm and open. He speaks to Elsa in a kind voice, compliments her hair and tells her how pretty she is. He tells her a funny story about Anna as a baby that cause her to giggle and Anna giggles right along with her. Her fears slowly start to fade away.

Walking into the examination room makes Elsa nervous again, and the urge to flee is nearly overpowering. Her Papa doesn't notice that she's shaking badly as he speaks to Dr. Oaken and he doesn't hear her tiny whimper when she catches sight of the syringe on the table. It's only when a hand grips hers and she finds her sight filled with big, teal eyes that the urge passes.

"It's okay Elsa, I got you." Anna beams at her. "Just keep holding my hand, okay? I promise I won't let you go for anything!"

Elsa grips the hand in hers tightly as the needle slides into her skin but like Anna promised, she doesn't pull away. Instead, she starts rambling about anything and everything at her and Elsa finds her attention more on her than on what Dr. Oaken does. The younger girl is bright and lively and makes silly faces to make Elsa laugh. When Dr. Oaken starts putting away his equipment and declares that he's done, Elsa is stunned at how easy it all was.

Neither girl lets go until Elsa is pulling on her coat and even then, Anna stays at her side all the way up to the exit. Her Mama waits with a patient smile as the girls say their goodbyes.

"It was nice meeting you Elsa," Anna exclaims happily as she pulls the blonde into a hug that Elsa eagerly returns, "I had a lot of fun!"

"Me too Anna...and thank you for helping me today…" Elsa blushes when Anna's lips graze her cheek but thinks nothing of it when the girl gives her a megawatt smile.

"You're my friend now! I'll always be around to help you!" Anna does that cute serious face again, nodding to herself. "No matter what happens you're stuck with me. Forever and ever. I promise."

xxxxx

Elsa's life has been hard recently.

A year ago, she went to the hospital with the stomach flu and left with the knowledge that she was pregnant. She had just turned twenty-three and was a sophomore on a scholarship at a prestigious university where she was working for a doctorate in business. She had the whole world at her feet- a bright future ahead of her.

The pregnancy brought that future to a painful, grinding halt.

Just like that, Elsa felt like her whole world collapse. A simple mistake led to her scholarship being put on hold for an indefinite amount of time- which in turn led to her parents' outrage and disappointment. Friends who once held Elsa in high regard suddenly turned their backs on her, and the man that did this to her wouldn't even look her in the eye when he refused to take responsibility and instead left her confused and alone to take care of everything herself. She found herself without a place to live- she had been living on campus- and little money to claim as her own. Besides helping her get a job, her parents refused to help her during that stressful time, claiming that she had made the bed she was in and it was her responsibility to lie in it. It seemed that everyone was turning against her.

Everyone except for Anna.

Elsa's oldest and dearest friend was a ray of light in that dark period. The redhead was nothing but supportive of her when Elsa told her that she wanted to carry the baby to full term. She took her in, offering her small apartment to Elsa and declaring that she and the baby were free to stay for as long as was needed. She took care of Elsa's every want and need without a peep of complaint. If Elsa needed a shoulder to cry on and someone to hold her during a bad night, she was there. When she got a craving, no matter how disgusting or how inconvenient it was, Anna went out and got it for her. Anna dealt with Elsa's out of control hormones and mood swings with the patience of a saint, soothing her like a balm to a burn with little more than a few sweet words and a kiss on the forehead. No matter how hard things were Anna was there to help Elsa through it.

All this on top of cooking most of their meals and working to afford her half of the bills and the grocery money.

Only once did Elsa work up the courage to ask why Anna does all that she does for her. Her answer was Anna pulling her into a powerful hug and whispering words that brought tears to the blonde's eyes.

"Because I love you and I would do anything to make you happy again.."

Then, three months ago, she gave birth to a tiny, beautiful boy. Elsa knew the moment he blinked up at her with cloudy blue eyes and reached a weak hand out to grasp her finger that everything she went through was worth it in the end. She fell in love instantaneously with her sweet little Olaf.

Anna is just as smitten as Elsa with the new addition. If Elsa isn't holding him, the chances are high that he can be found with Anna instead. She showers Olaf with just as much love and affection as she does Elsa, and the blonde feels immensely relieved and grateful for it. Seeing her best friend treat Olaf with such reverence and adoration...it makes Elsa happy in ways she can't even begin to describe.

And Elsa knows that whoever ends up taking Anna as a wife one day is in for a true gem. A woman whose heart is as large as the ocean her eyes share their color with. Whoever they were, they would want for nothing and Elsa only hopes that they would treat Anna as perfectly as she deserves.

She just doesn't know why the thought of Anna with someone else makes her heart clench.

xxxxx

Rain beats heavily against the window pane of their shared bedroom. Lightning splits the dark sky apart in a flash of blinding light while thunder booms as loud as a war drum soon after in the silence of the pre-dawn. It's not any of these that draws Elsa away from the warm comfort of sleep.

Instead, it's the crackle of the baby monitor next to her alarm clock, followed by the distressed whimpers of her infant son as he's rudely awakened by the storm raging outside. Knowing those soft noises will become ear-splitting wails if left for too long, Elsa sluggishly starts to lift herself up to attend to him.

A pair of warm hands easily drags her weary body back down into the comfort of the sheets, kneading into the tight muscles in her back until Elsa turns to jelly over the ministrations. The sweet scent of baked goods that permanently perfumes Anna makes her even weaker against the heavenly assault. She barely registers the soft click of the baby monitor turning off, abruptly cutting off her son's whines.

"Go back to bed Elsa," Anna's voice is thick with sleep, "I'll go attend to Olaf."

"But An-" Her protest is cut short by a drawn out moan as those clever hands find just the right spot. She slumps heavily against the pillows and blinks away the sleep that turns her eyelids to lead as she watches Anna get up and leave the room. She barely has the energy to reach out and turn the baby monitor back on so she could listen. She trusts Anna completely of course but Elsa is a paranoid parent and not being able to hear Olaf makes her anxious.

The low static as the machine starts to work again is the only sound she's able to pick up at first but it's not long before she hears Anna's soothing voice.

"Hey, Buddy." She coos. A series of loud whimpers follows the redhead's greeting, "Oh I know Olaf- that mean old storm woke you up, didn't it? Don't you worry little guy! Auntie Anna has you now. We'll get you back to sleep in a jiffy!"

There is silence for a moment and Elsa pictures the redhead sitting on the rocking chair, looking down at Olaf with that little adoring smile she gets whenever she holds him. The mental image makes the blonde smile and she snuggles into her pillow to let sleep claim her once more.

Until Anna clears her throat. Elsa perks up instantly as she starts to hum the start of a song.

"Baby Mine, don't you cry.

Baby Mine, dry your eyes.

Rest your head close to my heart.

Never to part

Baby of Mine..."

"Little one, when you play.

Don't you mind, what they say.

Let those eyes, sparkle, and shine.

Never a tear.

Baby of Mine..."

Elsa blinks when Anna stops singing, though she continues the rest of the song in a low hum. Elsa could also hear the faint creaks of the chair as it rocked and Olaf's soft snores.

"I love you, Olaf," Anna murmurs suddenly, "I love you and your Mommy so very much."

"Your Mommy is very special to me Olaf," she continues, softer now and Elsa could hear a longing in her words that makes her heart skip a beat. "She's the sweetest and most beautiful girl I know. I'm very glad to have her as my best friend, But I really wish we were something more."

'Wait...what?' Elsa's breath hitches as her tired brain struggles to process what Anna just said.

"Regardless if she feels the same way or not, I will never stop taking care of her or you," Anna vows, "I'll happily dedicate the rest of my life to the both of you. Even if Elsa finds you a father in the future..."

'She sounds so resigned.' Even though her mind is reeling in confusion, Elsa's concern for Anna wins out and she frowns in sympathy for her friend. 'Just how long has Anna been holding this in for?'

'...Why has she never told me?'

As though to answer her unvoiced question, Anna speaks up again. "I love you both so much Olaf, you don't even know...neither does Elsa...but that's okay because she's too busy with that new job and taking care of you to worry about my silly feelings right now. I just want you both to be as happy as you can possibly be, and I promise to be there to make sure that you are for as long as I can."

"Anna..." Elsa whispers. Her eyes burn with unshed tears.

Here, Anna's voice turns wistful and gains that dreamy tone she uses when she speaks about her desire to open her own bakery. "When we're in a better place Olaf, I want to tell her how I feel...and maybe when I do, she'll tell me she feels the same way." The rocking ceases. "Then I could be your other Mom instead of just your Auntie...and I can be free to love your Mommy the way she deserves to be loved…" There was a long pause and it feels like an eternity passes before Anna sniffles quietly. "Maybe one day."

"Good night Buddy, sweet dreams."

Elsa panics as she hears the click of Olaf's nursery door and she practically lunges towards the baby monitor in her haste to turn it off. She feels the familiar burn of shame in her chest. 'Anna didn't want me to hear that! Any of it!' Yet the damage was done and her heart raced as she sat and waited for Anna to return to the bedroom.

Her emotions are on overdrive and it's hard to pick which one she should be feeling at the moment. Her best friend, the one she's grown up and shared everything from clothing to secrets with, loves her as something more than a friend...and Elsa just eavesdropped on Anna vowing to dedicate her life to her and her son...even if it meant breaking her own heart if Elsa were to find someone in the future.

The soft click of the baby monitor turning back on is the indication Elsa has that Anna's come back.

"What are you still doing up?" Anna questions softly and Elsa almost jumps as an arm wraps itself around her shoulder and pulls her gently against Anna's side. "You're shaking, are you okay?"

Elsa can't bring herself to look into Anna's concerned eyes. Her stomach feels like it's twisting itself into knots. Her heart pounds even harder against her chest when Anna's hand rests on her forehead to check for a temperature. "I-I'm fine." She rasps and she's eternally grateful that it's so early that the sound can be blamed on her lack of sleep. "I'm just cold."

Anna smiles fondly and flops back onto the bed, bringing Elsa with her. The blonde lets out a squeak of surprise, which makes Anna giggle softly before she tucks herself in behind Elsa, wrapping her arms around the blonde's waist and pulling her in close so that Elsa's back was flush against her chest. Elsa's cheeks heat up. "What are you doing?"

"You said you were cold." The body against her own shuffles to get comfortable and Elsa feels Anna tuck her head comfortably into the crook of her neck, "It's nothing a good cuddle can't fix."

Elsa wonders, briefly, if she should pull away now that she knows...wonders if she should find this more inappropriate or uncomfortable, But Anna's body is just so warm and it's not like Anna is doing anything wrong. This isn't the first time they've spooned like this and it feels just as right as it did any other time they had. When Anna reached for one of Elsa's hands, she gripped it without hesitation and squeezed gently.

"Love you, Elsa," Anna mumbles sleepily, nuzzling the soft, platinum hairs at the back of her neck.

Elsa just closes her eyes. Her heart rate slows and her exhausted body grows sluggish as sleep finally comes to claim her again. She relaxes into the embrace of her best friend. The woman who does so much for Elsa and asks for little else but Elsa's happiness in return. The one who loves both her and her son like they are her entire world.

Elsa has no reluctance in whispering before she finally sleeps, "I love you too."