The last Day
Disclaimer: It's all Tolkien's.
A/N: Well, this is slash, so leave if you don't like that. // means memories. Elvish translations are at the bottom.
Live every day like it was your last one ... - Proverb
Prologue
(Haldir's POV)
My kin and I march towards an uncertain fate now; we are on the way to Helm's Deep and I do not know what we will find there. Life? Victory? Or death? My thoughts wander off to memories that seem to be far away and not even real. Was it really just a short time ago when he was still with me in Lothlórien?
//A fellowship of eight wanderers arrived at the Golden Woods. They had lost Mithrandir their leader in Moria and they were desperate. At first the Woods were able to make it easier on them, but as soon as they had come to rest the memories re-played in their heads all over again. I could feel it and it made me sad, too. I had known Mithrandir and he was a wise and noble wizard although he did not look like it. One of them was an Elf; Legolas Greenleaf, the son of Thranduil, King of Mirkwood. I had never seen him before and I did not know him and yet, to see him suffer made my heart heavy with grief. He left the place where his friends rested at night and walked into the Woods; I followed him, unnoticed for I can move like a shadow if I have to. He walked until he reached a small glade near the city; the moon illuminated his face and I could see tears shine on his beautiful face. I stepped out onto the soft grass and he spun around. I lifted my hands as a gesture of peace.
"It is me, Haldir," I said, softly.
"I'm sorry," Legolas replied, silently. "I became a bit suspicious, I think."
"For good reason. Your journey was dangerous so far and you did not have a reason to trust anybody outside the fellowship."
He nodded and a strand of his golden hair fell over his shoulder. "It was hard to lose Mithrandir." Another tear trickled down his cheek, causing my heart to hurt ever more.
"If there is anything I can do just ask me."
He shook his head. "There is nothing you could do, but thank you." He wiped his tears away.
"I'm sorry," he repeated.
"There is no need to be sorry. You lost someone dear to you and you may cry about that."
He looked up to me and smiled through his tears. "Thank you, Haldir. It is good to be among Elves again."
I smiled back; usually I look arrogant to people, but that is the way I chose for myself. No one will like you that way. No one will hurt you. Easy and bitter.
"Let's go back now. You should rest," I said.
"All right."
Suddenly I gave in to my urge to take his hand; he looked quite surprised, but he didn't pull his hand away.
"I have an idea," I said after a while. "Would you like to see my favorite place in Lórien?"
He nodded and smiled. "Of course! If you say it is your favorite place it has to be really beautiful."
I led him to a waterfall that was about two miles away from the city; it was not spectacular like the other places the Galadrim like to go to, but peaceful and a good place to go to and think. The dark water glittered in the pale moon's light and showed the reflection of the golden trees.
"This is wonderful," Legolas whispered. "Thank you for taking me here." He sat down under a tree and closed his eyes. I watched him for a while, content because I had made him happy.
"You can come back as often as you wish. It will never be a crowded place. Nobody ever comes here, because they don't like this place. Maybe they are right. There are more beautiful places in Lórien, but I like it here."
Legolas opened his eyes and looked directly into mine. "It is better than anything you can find in Mirkwood. My home has become a dark and sad place although it was wonderful to live there once."
"Maybe it will be like that again some day."
"Maybe ..." His eyes filled with tears again. "Why did all of this happen?", he demanded to know. "It is not fair."
For an Elf he was very young, but I didn't know an answer although I was older.
"I don't know, but somehow I feel that it won't stay like this. A new hope arises, like a new morning," I answered.
At this he let completely go off the strong warrior's masc; a disguise he had had to build around himself. He threw himself into my arms and cried bitter tears at my chest. I was taller than him and so it was easy for me to cradle him in my arms.
"The whole world crushes down on me. Everyone expects me to know everything because I'm an Elf, but compared to Elrond or Galadriel or ... even you, I'm young and stupid," he sobbed. "I don't have answers. Mithrandir had them. But not me, not me ..."
I stroked his back and his silky hair; this was the only comfort I had to offer. Finally I lifted his chin, gently and looked into his wide, blue eyes.
"Legolas, you did more than most would have done. You were brave and you have already proved yourself worth of the trust of the fellowship. Do not doubt yourself. Ever."
After a while he nodded and smiled through his tears, then he flung his arms around me again and pressed his shaking body against mine. "Thank you, thank you, thank you." I smiled and led him under a few trees. There I sat down with him and wrapped my cloak around him; it was winter after all and even here it got cold at night.
"We should go back," I whispered.
"No. Please. You can go back, but let me stay here."
Then he did something I hadn't expected: He curled up on my lap and fell asleep. I did not dare to move because I didn't want to wake him and so I just sat there and looked at him; at his white skin, his golden hair ...
I shook my head as though to get rid of those feelings. Feelings? What feelings? What did I feel? Did it have anything to do with Legolas? I didn't know.
I bent down and kissed his brow, gently. He didn't move, but I saw how the corner of his mouth went up. It could have been a smile or maybe just a shadow//
So we march towards Helm's Deep and in my heart I feel fear, but also joy for I will see **him** again ... the one I love ...
Chapter 1
(Legolas' POV)
I'm sitting in front of King Theoden's Great Hall with my face hidden behind my hands.
Aragorn ...
His name keeps echoing in my mind, I can't help it. Dead? The future King of Gondor, dead? This can't be. It's just too impossible and yet I'm holding the Evenstar in my hand. I wish I could scream, hit something, anything. Sitting around here drives me mad.
I'm feeling sorry for Arwen. She lost the only one she ever loved. I know what that feels like. My loved one is not dead, he's alive and he is immortal like myself, but he is far away and I doubt that I will see him again. I fight against it, but memories flood my mind again.
//I hadn't felt that safe ever since we had left Rivendell. I was curled up on Haldir's lap and I felt his warm hands on my back and in my hair. I didn't mind it. Elves aren't shy. What he did next was different, though: He kissed my forehead. His lips were warm, soft and dry; they felt like velvet on my skin and immediately I wondered what they would feel like on my own lips. I blushed at the thought and struggled to sit up straight.
"What is it?", Haldir asked. He probably thought he had done something wrong.
"Nothing. It's just ... I ..."
"You didn't want to ..."
I put a finger over his lips. "It was not something you did, Haldir," I whispered. "I just need time to think about all of this. Come here again tomorrow night and I will know what I need to know."
I got up and rushed back to my friends. Pippin cracked an eye open when I arrived.
"Where have you been?", he asked, sleepily.
"Nowhere, Pippin. Go back to sleep."
I sat down in front of the tent and listened to one of the many songs my kin sang about Mithrandir.
"There is nothing like Elvish voices," someone beside me spoke up. It was Aragorn.
I didn't reply; there was no need to. He sat down beside me and we listened to the music in silence.
"Do you miss him as much as I do?", Aragorn suddenly asked. "He was ... incredible."
"I miss him more than I can tell," I answered. "I will never forget him."
He knew what this words meant. I'm immortal and if I say "never" I actually mean it. He nodded and the shadow of a smile crossed his face. He took my hand and squeezed it for a moment.
"I'll go and look after Boromir now. He doesn't feel very comfortable here."
I nodded and so he walked off to find the Man from Gondor. I laid back and looked at the stars that shone through the top of the trees. I have so many questions right now. The most important one is what is it that I'm feeling for Haldir? I wanted to know, I really wanted to know ...
The day went by quickly. I spent most of the time with Gimli and the younger hobbits. They distracted me from everything that worried me and for a short time I felt almost happy. After they had had dinner they fell asleep almost at once; they needed to recover from our journey more than the two Men, Gimli and I had to. I left them again and walked the path down to the waterfall Haldir had shown me. He was already waiting, but he hadn't noticed me yet. Silently I walked towards him from behind and suddenly put my hands over his eyes.
"Guess who I am."
"The fair Prince of Mirkwood?", Haldir tried.
I smiled and let go off him. He turned towards me and suddenly I felt how a warm wave washed over me and under me and made my knees shake. From how he acted I could tell that he felt the same. He stroked over my brow, my cheeks, my lips ... He bent down and brushed his lips against mine. I wrapped my arms around his neck and held him tight; he did the same to my waist. I got completely lost in the kiss, forgetting about my surroundings and also myself until my lungs started to burn, demanding air. I broke the kiss and looked at him. He was smiling the most beautiful smile I had ever seen and his eyes were warm and full of love.
"Amin mela lle."
These three simple words completely changed my world. I no longer felt empty, but full ... full of emotion and also love.
"Melamin," I whispered and kissed him again.
Haldir picked me up and carried me to the same tree we had sat under the other day. I laid back and he kept kissing me and caressing me. He finally twined our fingers and straddled me. Usually I don't like to be out of control, but it didn't matter that much anymore. Not with him.
I felt his hands everywhere on my body and for some reason I had the feeling that it was more than just our bodies that touched ...//
Reckless to think back to this. It is over now, before we even had a chance to get it started. I know what Elrond said. I had the choice. But I had to move on with Frodo. Now that I am sitting here everything feels so senseless. Aragorn is gone, Frodo and Sam are all alone, Merry and Pippin are somwhere in Fangorn, Mithrandir is not here either and poor Boromir died. The fellowship ended up in a desaster.
I hear merry voices and then I see him: Aragorn!
He is alive and with him my hope. Maybe I will see Haldir again like Arwen will see Aragorn again.
Aragorn or Estel as some call him lives and for some reason I know that nothing can go wrong now. Nothing ...
Disclaimer: It's all Tolkien's.
A/N: Well, this is slash, so leave if you don't like that. // means memories. Elvish translations are at the bottom.
Live every day like it was your last one ... - Proverb
Prologue
(Haldir's POV)
My kin and I march towards an uncertain fate now; we are on the way to Helm's Deep and I do not know what we will find there. Life? Victory? Or death? My thoughts wander off to memories that seem to be far away and not even real. Was it really just a short time ago when he was still with me in Lothlórien?
//A fellowship of eight wanderers arrived at the Golden Woods. They had lost Mithrandir their leader in Moria and they were desperate. At first the Woods were able to make it easier on them, but as soon as they had come to rest the memories re-played in their heads all over again. I could feel it and it made me sad, too. I had known Mithrandir and he was a wise and noble wizard although he did not look like it. One of them was an Elf; Legolas Greenleaf, the son of Thranduil, King of Mirkwood. I had never seen him before and I did not know him and yet, to see him suffer made my heart heavy with grief. He left the place where his friends rested at night and walked into the Woods; I followed him, unnoticed for I can move like a shadow if I have to. He walked until he reached a small glade near the city; the moon illuminated his face and I could see tears shine on his beautiful face. I stepped out onto the soft grass and he spun around. I lifted my hands as a gesture of peace.
"It is me, Haldir," I said, softly.
"I'm sorry," Legolas replied, silently. "I became a bit suspicious, I think."
"For good reason. Your journey was dangerous so far and you did not have a reason to trust anybody outside the fellowship."
He nodded and a strand of his golden hair fell over his shoulder. "It was hard to lose Mithrandir." Another tear trickled down his cheek, causing my heart to hurt ever more.
"If there is anything I can do just ask me."
He shook his head. "There is nothing you could do, but thank you." He wiped his tears away.
"I'm sorry," he repeated.
"There is no need to be sorry. You lost someone dear to you and you may cry about that."
He looked up to me and smiled through his tears. "Thank you, Haldir. It is good to be among Elves again."
I smiled back; usually I look arrogant to people, but that is the way I chose for myself. No one will like you that way. No one will hurt you. Easy and bitter.
"Let's go back now. You should rest," I said.
"All right."
Suddenly I gave in to my urge to take his hand; he looked quite surprised, but he didn't pull his hand away.
"I have an idea," I said after a while. "Would you like to see my favorite place in Lórien?"
He nodded and smiled. "Of course! If you say it is your favorite place it has to be really beautiful."
I led him to a waterfall that was about two miles away from the city; it was not spectacular like the other places the Galadrim like to go to, but peaceful and a good place to go to and think. The dark water glittered in the pale moon's light and showed the reflection of the golden trees.
"This is wonderful," Legolas whispered. "Thank you for taking me here." He sat down under a tree and closed his eyes. I watched him for a while, content because I had made him happy.
"You can come back as often as you wish. It will never be a crowded place. Nobody ever comes here, because they don't like this place. Maybe they are right. There are more beautiful places in Lórien, but I like it here."
Legolas opened his eyes and looked directly into mine. "It is better than anything you can find in Mirkwood. My home has become a dark and sad place although it was wonderful to live there once."
"Maybe it will be like that again some day."
"Maybe ..." His eyes filled with tears again. "Why did all of this happen?", he demanded to know. "It is not fair."
For an Elf he was very young, but I didn't know an answer although I was older.
"I don't know, but somehow I feel that it won't stay like this. A new hope arises, like a new morning," I answered.
At this he let completely go off the strong warrior's masc; a disguise he had had to build around himself. He threw himself into my arms and cried bitter tears at my chest. I was taller than him and so it was easy for me to cradle him in my arms.
"The whole world crushes down on me. Everyone expects me to know everything because I'm an Elf, but compared to Elrond or Galadriel or ... even you, I'm young and stupid," he sobbed. "I don't have answers. Mithrandir had them. But not me, not me ..."
I stroked his back and his silky hair; this was the only comfort I had to offer. Finally I lifted his chin, gently and looked into his wide, blue eyes.
"Legolas, you did more than most would have done. You were brave and you have already proved yourself worth of the trust of the fellowship. Do not doubt yourself. Ever."
After a while he nodded and smiled through his tears, then he flung his arms around me again and pressed his shaking body against mine. "Thank you, thank you, thank you." I smiled and led him under a few trees. There I sat down with him and wrapped my cloak around him; it was winter after all and even here it got cold at night.
"We should go back," I whispered.
"No. Please. You can go back, but let me stay here."
Then he did something I hadn't expected: He curled up on my lap and fell asleep. I did not dare to move because I didn't want to wake him and so I just sat there and looked at him; at his white skin, his golden hair ...
I shook my head as though to get rid of those feelings. Feelings? What feelings? What did I feel? Did it have anything to do with Legolas? I didn't know.
I bent down and kissed his brow, gently. He didn't move, but I saw how the corner of his mouth went up. It could have been a smile or maybe just a shadow//
So we march towards Helm's Deep and in my heart I feel fear, but also joy for I will see **him** again ... the one I love ...
Chapter 1
(Legolas' POV)
I'm sitting in front of King Theoden's Great Hall with my face hidden behind my hands.
Aragorn ...
His name keeps echoing in my mind, I can't help it. Dead? The future King of Gondor, dead? This can't be. It's just too impossible and yet I'm holding the Evenstar in my hand. I wish I could scream, hit something, anything. Sitting around here drives me mad.
I'm feeling sorry for Arwen. She lost the only one she ever loved. I know what that feels like. My loved one is not dead, he's alive and he is immortal like myself, but he is far away and I doubt that I will see him again. I fight against it, but memories flood my mind again.
//I hadn't felt that safe ever since we had left Rivendell. I was curled up on Haldir's lap and I felt his warm hands on my back and in my hair. I didn't mind it. Elves aren't shy. What he did next was different, though: He kissed my forehead. His lips were warm, soft and dry; they felt like velvet on my skin and immediately I wondered what they would feel like on my own lips. I blushed at the thought and struggled to sit up straight.
"What is it?", Haldir asked. He probably thought he had done something wrong.
"Nothing. It's just ... I ..."
"You didn't want to ..."
I put a finger over his lips. "It was not something you did, Haldir," I whispered. "I just need time to think about all of this. Come here again tomorrow night and I will know what I need to know."
I got up and rushed back to my friends. Pippin cracked an eye open when I arrived.
"Where have you been?", he asked, sleepily.
"Nowhere, Pippin. Go back to sleep."
I sat down in front of the tent and listened to one of the many songs my kin sang about Mithrandir.
"There is nothing like Elvish voices," someone beside me spoke up. It was Aragorn.
I didn't reply; there was no need to. He sat down beside me and we listened to the music in silence.
"Do you miss him as much as I do?", Aragorn suddenly asked. "He was ... incredible."
"I miss him more than I can tell," I answered. "I will never forget him."
He knew what this words meant. I'm immortal and if I say "never" I actually mean it. He nodded and the shadow of a smile crossed his face. He took my hand and squeezed it for a moment.
"I'll go and look after Boromir now. He doesn't feel very comfortable here."
I nodded and so he walked off to find the Man from Gondor. I laid back and looked at the stars that shone through the top of the trees. I have so many questions right now. The most important one is what is it that I'm feeling for Haldir? I wanted to know, I really wanted to know ...
The day went by quickly. I spent most of the time with Gimli and the younger hobbits. They distracted me from everything that worried me and for a short time I felt almost happy. After they had had dinner they fell asleep almost at once; they needed to recover from our journey more than the two Men, Gimli and I had to. I left them again and walked the path down to the waterfall Haldir had shown me. He was already waiting, but he hadn't noticed me yet. Silently I walked towards him from behind and suddenly put my hands over his eyes.
"Guess who I am."
"The fair Prince of Mirkwood?", Haldir tried.
I smiled and let go off him. He turned towards me and suddenly I felt how a warm wave washed over me and under me and made my knees shake. From how he acted I could tell that he felt the same. He stroked over my brow, my cheeks, my lips ... He bent down and brushed his lips against mine. I wrapped my arms around his neck and held him tight; he did the same to my waist. I got completely lost in the kiss, forgetting about my surroundings and also myself until my lungs started to burn, demanding air. I broke the kiss and looked at him. He was smiling the most beautiful smile I had ever seen and his eyes were warm and full of love.
"Amin mela lle."
These three simple words completely changed my world. I no longer felt empty, but full ... full of emotion and also love.
"Melamin," I whispered and kissed him again.
Haldir picked me up and carried me to the same tree we had sat under the other day. I laid back and he kept kissing me and caressing me. He finally twined our fingers and straddled me. Usually I don't like to be out of control, but it didn't matter that much anymore. Not with him.
I felt his hands everywhere on my body and for some reason I had the feeling that it was more than just our bodies that touched ...//
Reckless to think back to this. It is over now, before we even had a chance to get it started. I know what Elrond said. I had the choice. But I had to move on with Frodo. Now that I am sitting here everything feels so senseless. Aragorn is gone, Frodo and Sam are all alone, Merry and Pippin are somwhere in Fangorn, Mithrandir is not here either and poor Boromir died. The fellowship ended up in a desaster.
I hear merry voices and then I see him: Aragorn!
He is alive and with him my hope. Maybe I will see Haldir again like Arwen will see Aragorn again.
Aragorn or Estel as some call him lives and for some reason I know that nothing can go wrong now. Nothing ...