For What It Could Be

Chapter 4 – "Uncertainty Principle, Part 2"

Winston never felt more frustrated in his life than he did right now. In 48 hours, he needed to find a solution to the problem that had been eluding him for nearly a month – how to by-pass the gravity spike so that he can get the data needed to perfect the Teleportation Matrix. Despite fruitless days and sleepless nights, he was no closer to a solution. Every recalculation and every fine-tuning of the simulation lead nowhere. This was an impossible task, he concluded.

However, what made the past month a true ordeal was keeping Lena ignorant of his progress, or more precisely, his lack of progress. Every week when they spoke during their video chats, he dodged any questions she had concerning the "secret project" (as she called it), usually by telling her it was still classified. While technically true, he still felt he was lying to her and he believed that she was beginning to suspect all was not well. That, more than anything else, frustrated him the most. Here he was, the only one of his kind on Earth; having to lie about what happened on Horizon; having his hard work with the Slipstream fail; failing at everything Captain Reyes threw at him; and then not being able to tell the woman he fell hopelessly in love with how he feels…

Winston sighed. Taking off his glasses, he rubbed his tired eyes. Placing them back on, looked at his face, reflected back to him via the blank and black computer monitor he had recently turned off. Regarding his visage, he wondered what Lena would think of him even if he could muster the courage to tell her how he feels. Would she laugh at him? Doubtful she would be that cruel. More than likely, she would let him down easily, kindly, but things afterward would just be awkward between them. It would be the beginning of the end of their friendship, just barely begun, of that he was certain. Without her, without her friendship, he would be isolated again. Sure he had made friends with Mercy and Torbjorn, mostly due to a shared interest in science and engineering, and while he couldn't say that either Captain Amari or Commander Morrison were his friends, he could say that they wished him well and wanted him to succeed. Captain Reyes, on the other hand, hated him, but he didn't understand why, exactly. With Lena, however, Winston truly believed she understood him. He couldn't fully explain why, but he felt a real connection with her, one he had only shared with one other person in his life, Dr. Harold Winston. Therefore, he was certain that without her in his life, we would be lost, isolated again like he was when Dr. Winston was killed. Three years he spent on his own, just surviving and hiding from the other gorillas trying to kill him. He never wanted to go back to that.

What was he to do now, with his project in shambles and no other options left for him?

Before he could ponder any future fate, his door chime rang.

"Come in?"

The door slid open and Mrs. Hodge entered Winston's quarters. She was, as always, neatly dressed in her simple blue suit, with an Overwatch pin on the right lapel of her suit coat. In her hands, she carried a tray that was laden with plates of food. She smiled, kindly, but in that way that Winston knew that he was likely in for a lecture. Not a mean-spirited one, however, but one more of concern than condemnation.

"You weren't at the commissary tonight for dinner… again. You've been missing a lot of meals lately". As she placed the tray at the edge of Winston's desk, she took a quick look about the room, likely noticing the considerable pile of empty peanut butter jars he had collected over the past few weeks. "But I see you have been eating something, at very least. 'Man doesn't live by bread alone', and I doubt you can live solely on peanut butter, Winston".

Winston made a noise somewhere between a grunt and a sigh. "I know… I'm sorry".

"I'm not asking for an apology. I just here to make sure to take care of yourself properly… and part of that means eating well", pointing to the tray.

The tray was filled with food – a large mixed salad, an assortment of steamed vegetables, a soy "steak" with a baked potato, two slices of whole wheat bread, and, for dessert (he assumed), a banana.

"You know I loathe bananas", he huffed.

"Bananas are good for you. Much better than the amount of peanut butter you have been eating lately. It's one thing to have a favorite food, it is quite another to only eat that and nothing else".

Winston knew she was right, but said nothing in response. What was there to say?

Mrs. Hodge's smile disappeared, but the concern remained. "I know things have been hard on you lately. Captain Reyes has been on you, your project hasn't been going well, you are concerned about what will happen to you if you fail, and… If I may be so bold, there is the affection of a certain young woman you wish to obtain?" That last one caused a knowing half-smile to appear on her lips.

"Wait… How?..."

She raised a hand to silence him. "I talk to people. More importantly, I listen. I am a trusted confidant for many here. Therefore, I'm not at liberty to divulge the how and the why I know what I know, but I can say that I can add two-and-two together… Well, most of the time. Thus, I can anticipate people's needs and desires even before they know them. Suffice to say, there is a good reason I'm very good at my job".

Winston was more than a little dumbfounded. Somehow, he found the voice to speak. "So… what do you want?"

"It is not what I want, my good man, but what you want. In that, I think I can help you… but not without some help. Athena? Are you there?"

"I am here, Mrs. Hodge. How can I be of assistance?"

"I need you to look up some files. They should be in the declassified historical sub-directory – Formally Considered Overwatch Candidates, Deceased".

"I need a clearance code".

"B – alpha – 2 – 0 – 1 – 4 – 0 - 7 - 1 – 6".

"Code and voice print verified. Processing request".

After a few seconds, Athena responded, "Files found. Where do you wish to display them?"

"Download a copy onto Winston's computer terminal. Allow him full access".

"Done". At that moment, Winston's monitor turned back on and a new file was prominently displayed. "Will there be anything else, Mrs. Hodge?"

"No. Thank you, Athena".

"My pleasure. Good night".

While the AI's voice was now silent, Winston couldn't shake the feeling it was still present in the room. However, despite the unease he felt, he was more concerned by this new computer file and why Mrs. Hodge requested it.

"What is this?" he asked.

"It is what I said it is – a listing of formally considered Overwatch candidates. All dead, of course".

Winston was confused before. Now, he was annoyed. "And how is a list of dead people supposed to help me?"

"Ah, now that is the right question to ask, as my mother would say", she stated, her clever smile returning, "I guess I just take after her – 'Like mother, like daughter' – after all".

With that, Mrs. Hodge turned to leave.

"Wait!" He called out, "You said you were going to help me".

"And I have", she responded, without stopping or turning around. As she opened the door to let herself out and stepping though the threshold, she did turn around then, standing on the other side of the open door looking at him dead on. "There are things you will just have to discover for yourself, My Dear Winston… And when it comes to matters of the heart, I am afraid you are on your own".

She raised her hand to push the button to close the door. "Good night, and good luck". With that, the door slid shut, and Winston was left alone with a mystery to solve.

Winston stayed up the whole night carefully scanning each file. It was 0545 hours, and he was seriously considering calling it done. Nothing in these files was helpful, but with only a few files left he finally found one that made his eyes widen and his jaw drop in surprise. If he was right, this was exactly what he needed.

Activing the Overwatch communication channel, he made a desperate call…

"This is Captain Amari".

"Um, sorry, Captain, if I woke you up… but this is important. I need to see you and Commander Morrison soon. This morning if possible".

"May I ask why?" Winston noticed she sounded annoyed.

"It concerns the Slipsteam. I think I found the solution, but I need yours and the Commander's help".

There was a moment of silence before she answered. "I'll contact the Commander. Meet us in the Situation Room in one hour".

"Yes, Ma'am… Um… I mean Sir".

"Amari out".

If he was right, this one file… this one name could be the solution he was searching for…

"Emma Wilcox", Winston said as he opened up her file on the holo-screen,"… Wing Commander in the Royal Air Force during the Ominic Crisis. KIA during the Last Battle for London near the end of the Crisis". As he spoke a picture of an auburn haired, green-eyed woman in her early twenties appeared on the projected file.

On the other side of the conference table sat Morrison and Amari, but Dr. Zeigler and Mr. Lindholm where there as well. All of them had confused expressions on their faces. Finally, the Commander spoke.

"I fail to see how a dead pilot can help you with the Slipsteam Project. Not to mention how you got hold of this file in the first place".

Winston's heart sank. In his excitement, he didn't consider the implications of having this file or what he might have done to acquire it. He decided it was best to be honest and deal with the consequences, whatever they might be.

"Mrs. Hodge gave me a file folder of deceased, but once-considered Overwatch candidates. She said the files were declassified".

Morrison, Amari, Zeigler, and Torbjorn each gave the others knowing looks.

"Well, that answers that question", Amari stated amused.

"But we still don't know how this helps you, Lad", said Torbjorn.

"Let me explain". Winston felt relieved he wasn't in trouble, and his excitement rose again. "Wilcox was one of the foremost pilots of the RAF, a great leader and one of the most decorated for valor, but she was unique in one way – one way that brought her to the attention of Overwatch – she had an incredible tolerance for extreme g-forces, both positive and negative, without passing out or taking damage. The scientists that studied her came to the conclusion that her genetic make-up gave her this ability".

Winston then brought up another picture. This one depicted a young 20-something man, with short, spiky brown hair and kind, brown eyes. "She had a husband… and co-pilot, James… that also died in the same battle. They both were survived by a daughter born mere months before…".

He brought up one last photo on the holo-screen. It was a girl of eighteen years and the spitting image of her father.

"Lena Oxton", Winston announced.

"Ze pilot zat saved you?"

"Yes", Winston answered, "I'm hoping that the adage, 'like mother, like daughter', is true in this case, Doctor. All I need to confirm this is her application she submitted for recruitment".

Morrison and Amari looked at each other, each seemingly not knowing what he was taking about.

Morrison responded, "We haven't received any application from Lena Oxton".

Winston's heart sank. "She said she submitted one, but it was rejected".

"Have you been in contact with her? How?" inquired Amari.

"Um… Mrs. Hodge…"

Morrison stopped him right there. "I see", he sighed, "No need to explain, and I think I know what is going on here. I'll have to pull some strings, but I think there is a way I can help you. By this evening, you should have the answers you seek". After looking around the table, getting nods of approval, he spoke again, "If there is nothing else, then we will meet again here tomorrow at 0600 hours. Dismissed".

Winston stayed behind after everyone else had left. After weeks of worry and frustration, he was finally feeling some relief. After staying up all night, however, that relief turned into exhaustion. He needed to return to his quarters to sleep…

Suddenly, his holo-tablet sounded an alarm. It woke him out of the sleepy haze he was falling into, realizing he was receiving a message over his comm. Fumbling with retrieving the tablet from his pocket, he answered the call, "Winston here".

"WHERE ARE YOU?" Captain Reyes barked over the comm, "Genji has been waiting over an hour to KICK. YOUR. ASS. Get down here NOW. That's an order, Monkey!"

Reyes ended the call. Winston sighed. He had forgotten his training season at 0600 hours. It was going to be a bad day.

After another humiliating failure at Captain Reyes' hand (with Genji's help), Winston finally collapsed on his bed, and it nearly collapsed under the strain. He wanted to sleep for a week, and was about to do so until Athena called to him.

"Winston. Commander Morrison has authorized this file to be sent to you. Shall I download it now?"

Groggily, he lifted himself off the bed and headed toward his computer. "Yes, put it on the screen now".

His computer lit up with life as a holo-screen booted with the file Athena mentioned.

"Will that be all, Winston?"

"Yes, it is. Thank you, and thank Mrs. Hodge for me, when you can".

"Certainly. And I am certain she will want me to remind you to get your rest. You have earned it".

Winston couldn't argue with that. "I will. Good night, Athena".

"Good night, Winston. Sleep well". After that, the AI's presence was gone.

Drawing his attention to the file, he opened it. Scanning it briefly, he smiled. He was going to sleep very well tonight indeed.

At 0600 hours the next morning, Winston had gathered together with Commander Morrison, Captain Amari, Dr. Zeigler, and Lt. Lindholm in the Situation Room. Several data files and video recordings played on holo-screens behind him. Each of them showed some aspect of Flight Lt. Lena Oxton's military record. Other than a few disciplinary problems, her record was incredible. One of the most impressive files was a video of her in a gravity simulator centrifuge. While most pilots become sick or blacked-out during this test, Oxton was not only fully conscious, but she was acting like she was on an amusement park ride, giggling like a mad woman, even at the highest g-forces. Once the test had stopped, Lena laughed, "Let's do that again!"

"How old iz she?" Mercy asked, "She looks so young".

"Eighteen", Winston answered, "She joined the RAF as a cadet at fifteen".

"Vhat?" Mercy was shocked, "Vhy vould they let a girl sign up?"

"It is a hold-over from the Ominic Crisis", Amari stated, "The RAF lost so many pilots during the initial attacks that they became desperate to find talented pilots. Lowered the recruitment age from 17 and a half to sixteen. Never raised the age limit afterward. Looks like Oxton was so extremely talented they made an even more special exception for her".

Morrison pondered for a moment. "In Oxton's case, it might be more complicated than that, considering her Grandfather is Air Martial Ronald Wilcox".

"THE Ronald Wilcox? The Air Marital that lead the RAF though the Crisis? That Wilcox?! I thought he retired years ago". Torbjorn was incredulous.

"He has been fighting off retirement for the last decade. Now, I think I understand why". The Commander closed his eyes in thought. "Not that I can blame him. Looks like he was trying to protect the only family he has left. He's the reason why we didn't get Oxton's application in the first place. He blocked it from reaching us".

"So, how are we going to recruit her?" Amari questioned.

"I have an idea, but it would be bending the rules of our UN charter to the breaking point". Turning to Winston, he asked, "Are you sure you need her?"

Winston thought for a moment. "Positive, Commander. Unless I get the data from a full test, there is no way to perfect the Teleportation Matrix, and the Slipstream project ends here"…. As well as my Overwatch career, Winston thought.

"And how would that work, Lad?" Torbjorn asked.

"By disabling the safety protocols, and not allowing the rig to shut down if the g-forces get too high. It's very dangerous, I know, but I think Lena… Um, I mean Flight Lt. Oxton can survive it. She may be the only person alive who can. Once I get the data I need, I can modify the Matrix so that it will be safe for any pilot to use… Um… I mean, that's how it should work, in theory".

"Alright, then, I call her in", Morrison stated with resolve, "She'll be here tomorrow. Have the rig ready to go in 72 hours". Pausing for a moment, he added, "Good work, Winston. Well done".

Winston beamed with pride, and his heart skipped a beat. Four months after the faithful day she saved his life, he was finally going to see her again, not via video chat, but face to face…

… And when the time came, he was a nervous wreck.

They had all gathered on the tarmac awaiting the aircraft that would bring her to Overwatch Headquarters in Geneva, Switzerland. After she disembarked, she approached Morrison, greeting him with a crisp salute. "Flight Lt. Lena Oxton, reporting for duty, Commander".

Saluting back, he welcomed her, "Glad to have you here, Flight Lt. Let me introduce you to my staff and those you will be working closely with. This is my second-in-command, Captain Ana Amari".

Oxton saluted, and greetings were swapped. Morrison, in turn, introduced Reyes, Zeigler, Torbjorn, and…

"Reinhardt?!" A confused Morrison questioned. "What the hell are you doing here?"

"Commander!" he exclaimed, "I heard der vonderkin pilot vas coming. I vanted to see her and velcome her myself, ya?"

Morrison sighed. "Flight Lt., this is…"

"Lt. Vilhelm Reinhardt!" as he saluted Oxton. "It is my pleasure to meet you. Velcome to Overvatch!"

Smiling, she saluted back. "I know you, Sir. This is going to sound odd, but I had a poster of you on my bedroom wall as a child. You were one of my heroes."

"Ha! Hear zat Ana. Just like your daughter. All ze little girls love Reinhardt!"

Winston, even so far down the welcoming line, could see the embarrassment on Captain Amari's face. However, that was Reinhardt – a giant of a man (even compared to Winston himself) with a huge personality to match. What Winston had learned about all of those that donned the Crusader Armor during the Crisis is that a larger-than-life personality was a common trait among all of them. However, Winston believed Reinhardt must have had the most boisterous personality of all. How else would he have been able to stand out from his peers to join Overwatch?

"Actually, Miss Oxton", Reinhardt continued, "I was hoping you would do me the honor of signing something for me…"

He pulled a poster out of a meter long tube. Unrolling it, there were words printed at the top, written in a large, fancy font – "MONTY OXTON'S FLYING CIRCUS" – and below that was a picture of old-fashioned bi-planes in a mock dog fight. In the lower right corner, there was a picture of a younger Lena (perhaps 13 years-old?) wearing a costume that made her resemble a First War fighter pilot, complete with a leather helmet and jacket, googles, and even a long, flowing, white silk scarf.

"I remember seeing you perform years ago. You vere incredible! Such talent, skill, and courage you displayed! You are an inspiration!"

"Enough!" said Morrison, exasperated, "She can sign it later". The Commander then moved Oxton toward Winston.

"And you know Winston already. The Slipstream is his project, so you will be working closely with him".

Lena smiled, and Winston's heart lifted. "It's good to see you face-to-face again. This time I hope you don't pass out", she joked, smiling, as she held out her hand for him to shake.

With just his forefinger and thumb, he gently reached out and took her hand. At this first touch, Winston began to feel a little light-headed. At that moment, he wasn't certain if could keep from passing out. He knew he need to say something – anything – but words eluded him. His attention was fixated on her eyes - those beautiful, kind, brown eyes. Even though he had seen them every week for the last four months, had heard her voice with their video chats, the realness of this moment struck him dumb, even as his mind screamed at him to say something. ANYTHING.

"Can I have my hand back, Luv?"

Winston came back from being lost in his thoughts, and released her hand, but his mind screeched at him to say something - something smart, something clever, something charming…

"Um… Hi, there."

Great, he thought, Just… Great.

"The two of you can talk later", Morrison stated. He then turned to Oxton. "I'll have Mrs. Hodge show you to your quarters. Right this way, Flight Lt."

As Winston watched Lena, the Commander, and Mrs. Hodge walk toward a car that would take them to the main base, he caught Mrs. Hodge looking over her shoulder before she entered the vehicle. She had a half-smile on her lips, but a look of sympathy in her eyes. At that moment, her words from days before came back to him - '… And when it comes to matters of the heart, I am afraid you are on your own'.

He sighed. If he was going to win Lena's heart, he would have to step things up and just do it. No one could help him, and at that moment, he never felt more alone.

It had taken a little while to decide on what movie to watch. Both of them had an interest in Sci-Fi, and had watched many a flick of that genre before when they were merely friends. However, they both agreed that something else would be better. Lena had suggested something romantic, to get them, "In the mood", as she put it. Winston was at a loss on what to watch, so he told her he was fine with whatever she wanted. Lena after scanning through the choices, she finally found a comedy she thought they would both enjoy – "Some Like It Bot".

They settled in the living room area, which consisted of a reclining lounge chair, and over-stuffed "seat-and-a-half", and long couch in front of the large holo-screen viewer. None of the sitting options were going to be comfortable for Winston, so he opted to sit on the floor leaning against the couch. After Lena returned from the kitchen with a refreshed drink and a large bowl of popcorn, they began the movie.

However, half-way though the movie, Winston's mind wandered back to the situation he was in. He was, for all intents and purposes, on a "first date" with the woman he fell in love with nearly a decade ago. Sure, they had watched movies before, shared meals and drinks, and spent time with their mutual friends together, but always just as friends. Now, it was different. They were more than "just friends", but what where they now? Boyfriend and girlfriend? Lovers? Friends with benefits? He had nothing in his previous experiences to help guide him. He knew he couldn't rely on instinct – an embarrassing episode on the Horizon Lunar Colony when he was an adolescent made him certain of that. So, what was he to do? Was Lena expecting him to start things? Their previous conversation made it clear to him that she was as uncertain as he was right now. With that thought, he grew nervous. What if he couldn't "perform" for her? Give her the pleasure he so dearly wanted to – that she so rightly deserved. He loved her too much to fail her that way, especially after all they had been through together.

"Enjoying the movie, Luv?" Lena tone was cheerful.

Her question was so sudden, it startled him. "Um… sure. It's great".

"Would you like another drink?"

Half of his original drink still remained in the glass. "No, I'm good". However, he did notice that she had finished her third drink already, if the empty pint-glass in her hand was any indication.

"Alright, then. I'm going for another pint and some more popcorn. Do you want anything?" she asked as she stood from her seat on the couch just next to him.

"No,… Um… thank you".

"Suit yourself. Keep watching the movie. I'll be right back", she stated as she moved toward the kitchen. Her tone was still cheerful, but he worried how long that would last if he didn't do something, and soon.

As he pondered his next move, he glanced around the apartment. While it had been fully furnished, Lena had decorated the space with her personal affects. Some she had carried with her for years, like the Monty Oxton's Flying Circus poster Reinthardt had given her when he was forced into retirement from the original Overwatch – the same one she had signed for him two years earlier. Others were more recent. One that made him smile was a crayon drawing of Tracer, in all her heroic glory, as only a child could imagine it. A little girl in King's Row had given it to her as a gift for saving her and her family. There were pictures as well – of family (her parents' wedding photo, her grandparents in their youth, her Uncle Monty in front of a replica Second War fighter plane); of friends, both old and new (from her time in the Flying Circus, the RAF, and Overwatch, both from the old days before the fall and from the renewed task force); and one he shared in common with her – a picture of them both. He was smiling stupidly as he rubbed the back of his head, while Lena, grinning, made bunny ears behind his head.

One photo, however, was missing. He had seen it on her office's desk before. It had been a reminder of what was, and would never be again. It had been a picture of Lena… and Emily. Its absence made Winston worry even more.

"Oh, Winston!" Lena called out in a sing-song voice.

Turning to face her, he stared at her in disbelief. There she was, crawling toward him on her hands and knees. As strange as that was, what was stranger still was how she was puckering her lips in some exaggerated kissy-face motion. When she was about a meter away from him, she stopped, still puckering and un-puckering her lips, but seemingly waiting for some response from him.

"Lena?" he questioned, "Are you OK?"

She slapped the floor with both hands, then waited for a response. When all she got in return was a puzzled look from Winston, she smacked the floor again.

At this point, Winston wondered just how much she had to drink when he wasn't looking. He asked, "What the hell are you doing?"

She laughed, "I'm trying to seduce you, Big Guy".

"What?"

"You know, how female gorillas try to get their males to mate with them. I read it on the internet".

Winston was now certain she had too much to drink. "Lena, please… don't".

"It didn't work, did it?" she asked, dejected. She moved from being on all fours to sitting cross-legged beside him.

Winston sighed, "It's not you. It's just… that doesn't work on me…"

"Because you're a genetically-enhanced gorilla?"

"No", Winston sighed again, "It's just… When I was an adolescent on the Colony, the scientists paired us off to mate us, to see if they could breed other genetically-enhanced gorillas".

"Wait. I thought…"

"I never 'mated' with any of them. I didn't want to. None of them… appealed to me. No gorilla has. The only female I ever found attractive… was you".

Lena blushed as she smiled coyly. "Really?"

"Really", Winston affirmed.

She moved closer to Winston, snuggling up against him, and resting her head on his chest. The warmth of her body to his caused his heart to stir. With more confidence than he felt, he lowered his arm to wrap around her, and she responded to his touch with a contented sigh.

They stayed like that until the end of the movie.

Continued in part 3…