Title: From Point A to Point B
By: Xmarksthespot
Disclaimer: Don't own
Notes: Also posted on AO3 under the same name.
It was far too late in the evening for Lin to be in her office, but when she thought about it, it was also too early to be drinking. Not that the time on the wall ever stopped her from doing so, but it had only been a few sips in when she realized someone had entered through the main hall. Tucking the bottle away, Lin stepped out of her office and saw the young woman stand sheepishly by the door.
"Asami? What are you doing here?" Lin asked. The sight of the industrialist at the police station wasn't a common occurrence, not unless someone was hurt. Lin began mentally compartmentalizing evacuation routines and forming a team. What Asami says, however, wasn't what Lin had been expecting.
"Korra and I broke up."
"Oh," Lin said and after some thought decided it was best to add something that didn't make her sound like a complete ass. "Sorry to hear about that, kid."
"It's alright," Asami replied, and her voice sounded heavy, like those few words she had murmured carried a string of unspoken words she wanted to, but couldn't say. Her eyes seemed tired, and her face carried the expression of someone years older than she was. "Did you want me to leave? I was hoping to catch Mako..."
There were a series of thoughts that suddenly ran through Lin's mind, all of them asking for trouble, whether it be from one of her employees or from the Avatar herself. It triggered a questioning rise of her eyebrow, which immediately caught Asami's attention.
"Wait, no!" Asami exclaimed, waving both hands in the air. "It's nothing like that. I just...needed a friend to talk to."
Lin silently thanked the heavens for that response. She had once gone through the young adult life; it wasn't something she'd like to experience again with the next generation. With a sigh, she told Asami, "He left early today. Something about a double date with his brother and Opal."
"Oh," Asami murmured, disappointed. "I see. I should be going then."
"Of course," Lin said. She eyed the door behind Asami, but it was clear that the industrialist had no intention of turning around and leaving the compound. Instead, what Lin got was a question she always got tired of hearing.
"Lin, why did you and Tenzin break up?"
"What?"
Asami's eyes widened, a look of innocence spreading across her features as if she only just now fully realized what she had demanded of Lin. "Oh my gosh, I'm sorry! That was none of my business" She apologized. "I just don't really have anyone to talk to. My dad never got to talk about relationships with me and my mom…" Her voice faltered, drawing back into her as if it never left, and drawing with it was a noose around Lin's neck guilting her in ridiculous ways she didn't appreciate.
Lin could feel her left eye twitch, suddenly thinking back to the alcoholic beverage in her office next to the pile of papers she'd admittedly rather be doing than what was about to be offered. With a sigh, she said, "You could at least come into my office so I could get some work done while we're at it."
Much to Lin's dismay, Asami agreed. It didn't take long—Lin hadn't even gotten to her seat—before Asami spoke.
"We had a disagreement."
"You two have been together...four years now?" Lin guessed, picking up her pen. "I would have guessed there would have been several disagreements by now unless you magically went four years without talking to each other."
In her peripheral, the older woman could see a soft smile emitting from Asami. The first one she'd seen all night from her, and given the circumstances, Lin considered it a win, even if she was far too tired to be counting points.
"It was a little more than that...we started talking about the future."
"Hm," Lin hummed, uninterested, as she went through the documents that discussed the implementation of parking tickets. What had been coherent paragraphs now turned to gibberish, and Lin was hardly buzzed from her drink earlier. She managed to get through a heavy chunk of it though, before she realized Asami was staring at her vehemently.
"What?"
Asami's brows pinched together. "Isn't there something you could say?"
"I'm hardly a shoulder to cry on," Lin said bluntly and her guest remained quiet. It wasn't something she was used to. She had her mother, Su, Korra, hell, even Tenzin always fought back with a rebuttal whenever she was in a disagreement. Asami though, she kept to herself and it drove Lin crazy. "Asami, I want you to understand that whatever it is you two fought about, things will get better eventually. I know you want someone to sympathize with you through this, but I'm not actually the best person to talk to for relationship advice."
"Oh...sorry," Asami responded, and to Lin, it sounded like she'd apologized too many times today, and it became the only word she could say now. "It's just, I thought with you and Tenzin…"
Lin narrows her eyes.
"You guys were together for a long time too, weren't you? I just assumed that maybe the same thing happened to you guys—that you had a disagreement, and that's why he broke up with you."
Lin probably would have yelled at Asami in any other situation, for bringing up the past and specifically that Tenzin was the one who wanted to end things. She could tell Asami to leave. It was justifiable now that Asami had crossed that personal barrier, but when she levelled her eyelids, seeing the saddened face under the dim light, it seemed so broken—it looked familiar. Finally she said,
"Tenzin wanted kids." She pursed her lips. "I didn't."
Without batting an eyelash, as if Asami had predicted—known—and prepared for that confession, she asked, "Do you think about it sometimes?"
Lin wasn't used to the role-reversal interrogation. She didn't like being asked questions, much less answering them, but a slew of memories ran through her mind and none of them hurt her like she remembered it once did. She glanced at the clock on the wall, seeing how much later it was now—suitable drinking time, really—but with another look at Asami and the bags under her eyes, Lin surmised there were more important things to do.
"Less now," she answered finally. "More so at the beginning, and then whenever Pema showed up with a watermelon under her dress." She sighed. "Sometimes I wonder what would have happened if I gave into Tenzin's wishes."
"You never dated anyone else?"
Realizing that nothing was going to be done tonight, she put her pen down. With another heavy lidded glance at Asami, Lin leaned forward and narrowed the space between her mouth and nose resting on her intertwined hands perched upon her desk. "What makes you think that?"
Asami more or less shrugged, but Lin understood. She was something of a shrew in the city. An old woman who never got what she wanted and had to sit by and watch her supposed dreams move on without her. And because of that, she was meant to be a resentful dictator who didn't give a damn about anyone else's happiness.
"Being alone isn't so bad. I did date a few other men. Always compared them to Tenzin though, which…Not a good idea when you're looking for someone who wants the same things you do. But this works for me. I don't mind being by myself, even if you kids think it's physically impossible."
"Oh."
Lin finally moved her hands away from her face, making sure Asami was looking at her as she spoke, that the broken hearted girl could read Lin's lips and see the expression on Lin's face and know that everything she said was the truth. She hardly wanted to repeat it again, but she also wanted to let not this night be a waste on Asami's part.
"I think I know what you and Korra fought about, but I'm not going to say it, Asami," Lin enunciated clearly. "I'm also not going to tell you what I think you should do or what I think Korra should do. Sacrificing for the sake of someone you love is up to you to decide. You're not being unfair if you choose to want something—or not want something. It's not being selfish either. Trust me: it took me a long time to realize that." Lin looked to the side, almost embarrassed for being so caring. She was the Chief of Police. She was used to being the city's guardian, but never for any one individual specifically.
After some thought, Asami nodded understandably. "Okay," she said, swallowing what must have been a lump in her throat threatening tears. It was also a conclusion, because all of a sudden, she was getting up from her seat. "Thank you, Lin."
Lin nodded curtly.
"I'm sorry for taking up so much of your time," Asami apologized once more, and it was enough to make Lin's fingers twitch.
"It's alright," Lin responded. "I wasn't going to get this done anyway." She got up after Asami, guiding the young woman back into the hallway and seeing how dark the skies had gotten through the window. She looked back down to Asami, noticing the slightly more confident strides that accompanied each step she took, dragging along fractured emotions with them.
Lin held back her pace before she could get any further, and watched Asami continue to walk to the exit. Her fingers twitched again, and she groaned at herself before she opened her mouth.
"Tenzin didn't break up with me."
Asami stopped, hesitantly looking over her shoulder before turning her body the full one-eighty to face Lin.
"Everybody thinks he did," Lin continued to say, "but he wouldn't have done that. That man can suffer for the rest of his life and not say a word if he cares enough about you.
"I didn't want kids back then and I still don't. I was driven by my career and kids would have kept that from me. But Tenzin wanted to restore the Air Nation. He wanted to follow his father's dream of starting the next line of airbenders. It was a big dream, and I spent most of my relationship feeling guilty of keeping that from him. So I went around—talked to Katara, to the old ladies down the street, and once to the Fire Lady." Lin snorted, thinking back to how many days she took off work just to achieve those travel missions. Her eyes had fallen to the wooden floorboards in reminiscence. "I even went to my own mother—big help that was.
"My mother aside, everyone told me that the moment I held my baby in my arms, I would love nothing else more than it and I would feel silly for even considering a life without it. It probably would be true. I can admit that I can see that happening.
"But no matter how hard I tried to make that perspective my own, I couldn't. Not even for him. So Tenzin had to be the one who sacrificed his dream. He chose to stay with me. He proposed to me. He wanted me even if there was nothing I could give him in return."
Lin pressed her lips together, and forced herself to look back up to Asami whose face held brief shock and sadness—and just as Lin guessed, it also carried a lot of empathy.
"Asami, telling Tenzin I didn't want children didn't mean I loved him less than I always had. Telling Tenzin I wasn't going to marry him also didn't mean that. It meant that to this day, I never regretted saying no because every day, I can see the man I loved be happy and live in the dream world he wanted for himself while I live in mine, even if those are two separate worlds and not one."
Asami simply stared at Lin, with an expression Lin can't discern as pity, but considering who it was coming from, she knew that it was anything but. Instead, it was a mix of appreciation for Lin, and fear for herself.
Lin cleared her throat. "Just something I thought you should know. You should go home now before it gets too late."
Asami nodded. "Thank you, Lin. For your time and for your story."
"Anytime, kiddo—except, maybe not too many times." Lin managed a half a smile, stepping up to lock the doors behind the industrialist. She smiled to herself after, pleased with her night.
Pleased with her life.
A/N: The epilogue would have included Korra and Asami getting back together but agreeing to discuss this issue without being angry what the other one thinks. And agreeing to either compromise or end things mutually if compromise doesn't work. It's how relationships work, I suppose.
This fic is dedicated to my beautiful friend, TN, and to all of those out there still deciding about children and feeling pressured to have children in the future whether you want to or not. It's your life; choose what's best for you.