Disclaimer: All the usual stuff… I don't own Twilight or Nancy Drew. I wouldn't know what to do with them if I did.

A/N: I wrote this little story for Meli (Melistories). Some of you might've read it over on the page dedicated to her (Words of love for Meli). Do go and check out the other stories there.

This version has been beta'd by Maggie (NewTwilightFan). She is wonderful, and I'm so lucky to know her!

Chapter 1.

The Bella Swan Case Files

March 5, 2016

3 pm: Subject has left his apartment in a covert manner, for unspecified destination.

…

Ever since I moved into my new apartment over six months ago, my life has been shrouded in mystery.

Alright, that was over-dramatic. There is really just one mystery, and he lives across the hall. Edward Cullen is tall, handsome, well-read, intelligent, polite, helpful, and has a smile that makes my insides mush. When I first met him, I thought he must be like a unicorn—I honestly believed men like him were mythical creatures, created by wicked writers to ensure that people like me live in a state of perpetual dissatisfaction with the actual human male population.

But no, he's the real deal. He was the guy who helped me lug my furniture and bags up three flights of stairs when I moved in. When we had that city-wide blackout, he remembered my unreasonable fear of darkness, brought me candles, and organized a cosy living room campout for the two of us. I really believe if I ever asked him, he would buy me tampons without grumbling... much.

This does not mean he's any less of a guy. I mean, he has the good parts, but he also has the not-so-appealing parts. For instance, it's a good thing that he's particular about fitness, and goes for a run every day. May I just say yummy abs? It is, however, not such a great thing when he comes back sweaty and stinky and gross, and thinks it's ok to hang out that way for a bit until he 'cools off' enough to shower. Nor is it great practice to recycle underwear by turning it inside out. I don't think anyone really wants to know how I know about that one. See, that right there, is proof he's not a figment of my imagination... because in my imagination, he'd just go commando, and then... well, let's not go there.

To cut a long story short, ever since I met Edward Cullen, he has charmed me far more than he has grossed me out. I am crushing hard on this man, and based on evidence, it does seem as though he is really into me as well.

In fact, about four months ago, Alice got me smashed on margaritas and then sneakily made me spill all my deepest, darkest desires about my dishy neighbor. We actually got pen and paper and made a list of things that prove that he's into me. It was a pretty long list, let me tell you. But the thing is, despite all the proof in the world, he still hasn't tried to even set a pinky toe across the line of friendship.

At first, I got a little disheartened, and figured I had read him all wrong. Maybe he only liked me as a friend, and it was unfair that I was projecting these other feelings and desires on him. So I gave in to Angela's pestering and went on a date with Paul from her office. He was a nice guy, nice looking, nicely dressed, nice smelling and so on. You know, just nice. Not spectacular, or thrilling, or Edward.

I was just stepping out to leave with Paul, when Edward jogged up the stairs, in his stinky running shoes, his grey shirt saturated with sweat, outlining every hard, defined muscle on his body. His hair was plastered to his forehead, and sweat beaded on his upper lip. I shouldn't have found it hot when he licked at his lip, right? Wrong. I nearly passed out from the desire to get naked and sweaty right alongside him.

What got me even more hot and bothered was the way he looked me up and down, and the way his eyes got all dark and broody. Then he looked at Paul, and he looked furious—nostrils flaring, jaw tight, fists clenched, making his forearms look all strong and sinewy.

I almost dragged Paul away, both to prevent the carnage I was sure was a minute away from being unleashed in my hallway, and to stop myself from attacking Edward like a lioness in heat. The rest of the evening was pleasant, but I had no qualms about sending Paul on his way without any delusions of 'seeing where it went'. I already knew where I wanted to go, and now for the first time, it seemed like my fantasies were not entirely in my own head.

…

The Bella Swan Case Files

Saturday, March 5, 2016

6 pm: Subject returned to apartment in furtive manner, carrying a small bag. Note: not his gym bag, but similar, only smaller. When asked in a friendly manner where he had been that afternoon, he gave evasive answers. Finally said he had to meet a college friend. Highly suspicious behavior.

…

In the last few months, I have tried to step up my game. My first step was to start wearing tops that were a) sheer, b) low cut, c) backless, d) thin enough to see my bra through, or e) all of the above. Also skirts, and jeans that are a right pain to pull on or off. I have decent assets, so Alice says it's a crime not to show them off.

Needless to say, this was supplemented with several fruitful trips to Victoria's Secret.

The effects were immediate and rather gratifying. When I likened Edward to a unicorn, I didn't just mean he was too good to be true. He packs a sizeable magic stick in his shorts, as well. And the subtle shift in my wardrobe has given me plenty of opportunities to see his unicorn spring to life. Sometimes when I bend over, or bite my lip, or even just stretch out along the couch while we watch movies at his place or mine, I can see the unicorn twitch. I pretend not to notice, and Edward shifts around and adjusts himself when he thinks I'm not looking.

But I'm looking.

Once I was sure he saw me in that light, I moved onto step two: food. My grandma used to say it every mealtime, "The way to a man's heart is through his stomach." I tend to agree. I have a definite advantage in this area, since I have always loved cooking. Plus, I am tight with Esme, Edward's mom, and got her to spill on all his favorites.

I had him eating out of the palm of my hand, sometimes literally. Turns out, it was his favorite comfort thing as a kid to curl up with his head in Esme's lap and have her feed him. So when he came home from work looking especially tired and frustrated, I dragged him over to my place, made him lie down comfortably with his head on my lap, and fed him bites of apple pie. He might have licked my fingers a few times. I saw how it made him hard, and tried not to let him see how it made me want him to lick other parts of me.

…

The Bella Swan Case Files

Wednesday, March 9, 2016

3 pm: Subject is once again behaving suspiciously. He has just left his apartment, first making sure no one was around. As viewed through the peephole, he was carrying the same small not-quite-gym-bag. The chase is on.

…

The next step in my campaign was to get him turned on by my intellect. It was crucial, Alice insisted, that I put physical attraction and food first, because those things would hook him, and then my mind could reel him in. Whatever, I just like following these steps. It makes me feel accomplished.

Of course, Edward had already known me for almost six months by this point, so he knew about my eclectic collection of books. As a high school English teacher, he had to suffer through some pretty cringe-worthy massacres of literature. He would sometimes spend hours telling me everything that happened in class, and once he was done venting, we'd break out the beers and discuss books, or writers, or whatever was on our minds.

My favorite discussions were ones where we would both get so involved that for a while I'd forget about the get-Edward-campaign, and he would forget about boundaries, and we would both be all up in each other's space, touching and pushing and looking into each other's eyes to make a point. There always came a moment during such evenings, when I would feel the air around us shift and grow heavy with possibility. His eyes would go dark and his breathing would speed up. Each time, I would be so sure that this was it, he would finally give in, and kiss me with six months' worth of sexual frustration… but no. He would pull back, and hop off to the bathroom, or to get a bottle of water, or something.

A week or so back, I was at my wit's end. I was fairly sure he was interested, and I was letting him know as clearly as possible, that I was so, so interested. I had made sure he was aware that I could pleasure his body, challenge his mind, and provide a comfortable hypothetical home. And yet, he wouldn't step out of the friendzone.

Does my frustration with the situation show?

Then a terrible possibility reared its ugly head. Was he interested in someone else?

So far, I had not even thought about such a thing, for a number of reasons. First, he had never brought anyone home in all the months since I had moved in. Second, his obvious reaction to seeing me with Paul made me believe he was interested in me. Third, he spent all his spare time either hanging out with his brother Emmett, or with me. Fourth, beyond all the attraction, we were best friends, so it was unimaginable that he would not tell me if he liked someone. Fifth, it hurt to even list another woman as a 'maybe'.

As I was saying, a week back, things finally changed. It was a Wednesday, and I was working from home, as usual. My life as a freelance programmer can be so glamorous… not. I wasn't expecting Edward back anytime soon, since he usually had staff meetings that ran late on Wednesdays. So I was more than a little surprised when I heard his door open and shut. I was still standing there, peering out of the inadequate little viewing marble fifteen minutes later, when his door opened again, and he hurried out. He had changed into a t-shirt and jeans, but I couldn't see his hands or anything, so I don't know if he was carrying anything with him.

I didn't immediately find his actions suspicious. People change their routines for all sorts of reasons. It was when I asked him about it later that night, that I started wondering what was really going on.

"Hey, I thought I saw you came home early this afternoon. Everything ok?" I had asked him, casually.

"Today? Nah, I wasn't here. I mean, I had somewhere to be. Nothing important." He wouldn't look in my eyes, and his right knee started bouncing. I knew his tells by now, of course, and I knew he was trying to hide something. I let it be, and would have probably forgotten all about that day's aberration if he hadn't behaved so guilty after that.

For the next couple of days, he continued to be cagey and secretive. He even blushed, which only ever happened when he was embarrassed. I couldn't figure it out.

So of course, I called Alice.

"Hmmm, sounds very unlike him," she agreed, when I was done telling her all that had gone down the last few days. "Hey, do you think he's become a stripper? He probably doesn't want anyone to know; that's why he's embarrassed!"

"While I would pay good money to see that man strip, Alice, I just can't see him doing something like that. And for what? He's loaded, and has a steady job. Plus I thought strippers worked nights. Why would he be skipping out on a weekday afternoon?"

"Alright, maybe not. He could have gotten involved in something illegal." Alice was never short of ideas, you see. "Ooh, I know, one of his students was involved in a drug ring, and Edward is going undercover to expose the crime syndicate."

Even I couldn't stop laughing at that one. Edward was a great guy, but going undercover to bust a crime syndicate? Nope, can't see it happening.

"Alice, that's something the cops would do, not a high school teacher. There's something else going on."

She was running late for her Yoga class, so we hung up and promised to talk later. I wondered if maybe we should have another of our epic weekend drink-a-thons, seeing as we were both especially creative drunks.

…

The Bella Swan Case Files

Wednesday, March 9, 2016

3:30 pm: Subject has entered a nondescript apartment building that has some kind of dance and yoga studio at the ground level. There is also a coffee shop across the street with a clear view of the apartment building entrance. I am now sipping some really good cappuccino and trying to be inconspicuous.

…

It didn't take getting drunk to put me on my current desperate course. It was the fact that on Saturday, at 3 pm, Edward stepped out of his apartment, looked around cautiously, and then with one long look at my door, dashed down the stairs. It was that long look that did it. Whatever he was doing, whatever was embarrassing him so badly, had something to do with me.

I immediately called Alice, and she egged me on to maintain case files, like I was 14 again, and playing at being Nancy Drew. Maybe because I never completely outgrew that phase of my life, I actually did just that. I've now been observing his comings and goings for a full week, and have concluded that he only makes these strange trips on Wednesdays and Saturdays.

That's why I am now sitting in a coffee shop in downtown Seattle on a Wednesday afternoon, waiting impatiently for Edward to exit the building opposite, and hopefully give me some inkling of what on earth he's hiding.

I've just finished my second cup of coffee and am seriously considering getting another slice of that truly delicious moist lemon cake, when a flash of auburn catches my eye.

It's 5:40 pm, and Edward just walked out of the building across the way. He's carrying that little bag again, and is smiling so wide it makes my heart swell. He holds the door open, because he is a gentleman like that, and a gorgeous blonde steps out. She is standing close enough to make me panic. Then she lays a hand on his shoulder and says something in his ear that makes him blush so hard, I can see it from across the road.

She turns and walks off, while he seems to be fiddling around with that little bag of his. Did they…. Is she… I need Alice.

…

The Bella Swan Case Files

Wednesday, March 9, 2016

6:45 pm: Oh why, oh why, oh why, you tell me la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-lies… you never ti-ti-ti-ti-ti-think I would ever rea-lia-lia-lia-lia-lize. Edward likes silly blonde women. I should dye my hair.

…

Alice is not very comforting on weekdays. However, since I really didn't want to go home and spend the rest of the evening hanging out with Edward as his 'friend' while bursting to ask him about the blonde, I cabbed it to Alice's instead. I'm hoping she'll morph into a better friend by the time I've got some wine into her.

"Hey, maybe you were wrong about his money situation. Maybe he lost everything, and had to become a male escort. A gigolo… ooh, I always wanted to say that. It's such a… jiggly word."

"He's not a gigolo, Alice," I pout. I've already started soaking in the wine, and am a little morose. "Maybe he's just having an affair with her, and doesn't want anyone to know, because she's married and her husband would use it for divorce proceedings."

"Maybe we're just being unnecessarily mean to the guy, Bella. What if he's actually putting something awesome together for your birthday, like a huge surprise, and this woman is helping him with that?" Alice and I stare at each other for a moment, before shaking our heads in tandem. "Nah, he would never dare to plan something for you without telling me about it."

"True," I sigh, because unlikely or not, that would have been a pretty awesome scenario. "Plus my birthday is months away."

"So what're you going to do, confront him?" she asks, tipping the bottle upside down and waiting for the last drop to fall into her open mouth. We've been at it for a couple of hours by now, and while our guesses about Edward have gone from 'not entirely impossible' to 'ludicrous', it doesn't seem to matter anymore. He could be learning ballet in a pink tutu, and we would think that made perfect sense, right now.

"Nah," I drawl. "It's not like he really cheated on me or anything. Maybe he just always saw me as a friend. I'm not going to make a bigger fool of myself by confronting him." I snorted elegantly. "What'll I say to him, anyway? Hey, Edward, my detective alter-ego has been tailing your fine ass for a week, and I know all about your secret girlfriend. I'll probably end up crying and begging him to give me a try instead. It's hopeless, Alice. I just have to learn to live with that fact."

Her gentle snores let me know that my soliloquy was hugely unappreciated. I shrug and fall asleep.