Beginner's Luck

Chapter 1: Fairies are Bad for Your Health…

(Chapter Polished on September 8, 2016)

…Have you ever wondered if any myths and legends really existed? That fairies or snake-people or whatever else you can think of could be out there, waiting to be discovered? I hadn't thought much of it, until I met a fairy. Yeah, I know, call me crazy, you skeptical reader you. A fairy, with the wings and the sparkly effects…the whole package. One thing seemed to make her stand out from other mythical fairies, however; she was a motherfucking (literally) nymphomaniac with stalker tendencies and almost too much snark to deal with. She was also given a job from her home dimension-YES, I'm being serious – which is helping me find a girlfriend. And, before you ask, yes I am a girl. And, no, I'm not crazy. My name is Tara Weaver.

I would consider myself a well-off person, with plenty of sanity. I have my own home, a job at the Gamer's Corner in the mall, and my own bike (Glenberry is smaller than it sounds, so no need for a car). While I don't have many friends, the ones I do have are guys who I've known since we were kids. They understand my…feelings, let's say, about the opposite gender. I don't hate men, obviously, I just…well…don't find any kind of attraction. At all. To men. I mean, those guys are my friends, no doubt about that, but I am definitely not looking for a relationship in any of them, and they've come to understand that. They do know, however, that I am a lost cause at really talking to other girls. Probably everyone in town knows that. The few girls that I have talked to made me blush redder than autumn leaves and stumble more than you can imagine; and they didn't even say anything!

In fact, I met a certain someone after another failed excursion. I was at the bar, thinking pitiful thoughts about how much I suck at being a girl. While I had my first drink in my hand, I hadn't taken a sip yet – not really feeling it juuust yet. When suddenly, a beautiful girl appears…in an unnecessarily sexy red dress. Her hair was brown and short, and her eyes…oh my god her eyes. A deep green, my favorite color. Why am I staring into her- oh. She's walking over here.

"Hey, there." Damn, she saw me looking. "See something you like?" She giggled a little, amused by my sin for some (at the time) unknown reason.

"W-well, I w-wouldn't say no…" I blurted, not thinking about much other than how adorable and beautiful this girl was. I immediately facepalmed, and covered my mouth with my hand that had previously held my drink. I turned away from the girl next to me, and tears began to form at the corners of my eyes – I was always a bit of a crybaby, especially at embarrassing things like right now. I swear my blush was brighter than the lights hanging over our heads.

"Ohhhhhh, you wouldn't, huh? Good to know I've still got it!" The woman chuckled again. "…Awww, there's nothing to cry about."

"Yes there is this is embarrassing." My thoughts flooded my mind for a second, before settling on one thing – silence. I put my hand back down and stared at my drink. For a solid two minutes I stared, and the woman stood. She eventually sat down. I looked over, and she cringed a little before smiling slyly.

"Look, girl, are you gonna be alright?"

"…"

Silence permeated the bar counter, though the sounds of the rest of the bar continued – not that I was paying attention to that.

"…Wow, this is awkward." The red-dressed girl frowned.

"…Y-yeah. U-ummm…" I could still feel the blush on my face, and the girl raised an eyebrow.

"You okay, there?"

"No. I'm not." "…no….I'm so sorry…"

"Oh my god, it's worse than I thought." The girl's frown leveled out, then her face scrunched up in thought.

"W-what?"

The girl stood up suddenly, startling me a little. "Oh… OH! Oh, man, this is your lucky day sister!"

I opened my mouth to speak but nothing came out. I think my blush disappeared, but I'm not sure. The rather odd girl began mumbling about how much of a "good job" she was going to do, before turning back to me and getting too far into my personal bubble.

"This is gonna be- you can close your mouth now."

"Oh. S-sorry." Mouth closed.

"Okay, I'll see you later. Trust me. We have so much to talk about. Night!"

And with that, she was gone. I only had one word to say as the bartender gave me a condescending look. "…What?"

[-]

Not five minutes after that… interesting encounter, I walked out of the bar without taking a single sip of my drink - too confused already. I hoped to find that strange girl, but there was no sign of her dangerously short red dress. At this point, I just wanted to go home and sleep; put this rather bad day behind me and get ready for March. It was still chilly out, being February, so I wrapped my arms around me and walked the couple blocks home.

When I got home, I took off my jacket and let my hair down. My light brown hair reached my back, though I kept it in a ponytail most of the time. "I'll take a shower in the morning." I passed off my normal routine. "Too tired". I took off my shoes, but kept the socks on. I collapsed on the pillow-covered bed, not even caring to get under the covers. I would have passed out then and there, but a certain someone had other plans.

"Woah there, champ. Though I wouldn't have waited to get this far, I have a feeling you'd like to know someone before you fucked their brains out."

At first, I will admit, I didn't care what was said. Then I actually processed it. One of my eyes opened, and it was met with two glowing green eyes and a shit-eating grin. And pink hair.

"W-what the fuck are you d-doing?!" I hardly ever cuss out loud, but what the hell.

"I told you, silly, I'd see you later. It's later, and we need to talk."

"And y-you're in my bed why?"

"It's comfy!" Whoever-she-was smiled like a child getting candy.

"…"

"Aww, don't be like that!"

"...Just get up. Please?"

"I'm not moving."

"Yes, you will. Now."

The girl blinked, her brows furrowed for a second, then… "B-but, whyyy?"

"Oh my."

The moonlight outside glittered through the window and made the girl's pale skin shine. Her beautiful green eyes were wide, little hearts replaced her pupils, and tiny tears formed in her eyes. I tried to turn away, but her adorable face compelled me to keep staring.

"Alright fine. J-just don't-"

"Yaaaay!" She bolted under the covers and got comfortable.

"…get under the… W-whatever."

"Anyway, we need to talk. I already said that." I'd be taking her a little more seriously, but person-in-my-bed was buried up to her pale, beautiful-quit that. She was buried up to her shoulders in blankets.

"About what, exactly?"

"You." She pointed at me and smiled. "Specifically, your skills with the ladies."

"I-I... How did you…"

"How did I know? Well, considering you complimented me and then got all embarrassed and turned away and-"

"Okay, okay, you got me. W-what makes you think I need help?"

"…" Her unamused yet at the same time amused glare broke my defenses.

"Y-yes, I need help."

"Good! Now then."

She threw off the covers of my bed with a flourish, leaving them in a heap on the floor. She jumped off in a dramatic fashion…and never touched the ground. I glanced upward, and saw wings. Thin, transparent, butterfly wings. And an incredibly skimpy outfit. Seriously, it was just a thin…whatever that was and a pair of panties! And her lower thighs were covered by pink stockings. Fucking stockings. "How does this fairy know me so well?!"

"Oh. You're a…"

"Fairy! Yup! Well, a love fairy to be exact."

"A-alright then." Tara. exe has stopped responding. Would you like to restart the program? [Yes] "Hey, before I faint, what's your name?"

"My name? It's Kyu! …Wait, what?"

"Thank you. Now, if you'll excuse me…"

Whump

Yeah, I did pass out. What, are you saying you wouldn't after seeing a beautiful fairy girl flying over you, wanting to help your love life? Pfft, you liar.

[-]

"…nnngh… My head… Ow. Holy crap my head is killing me. What happened?"

"..get up… Come on now…"

"What?"

"I said… It's time to get up."

"Ow… I'm up, I'm up."

"Finally, jeez. I thought I'd have to leave you to fail talking to girls forever."

"N-no need for that, Kyu."

"Alright, let's go…" She stopped and waved her arms in my direction. "…Damn it, whatever-your-name-is."

"…It's Tara."

"Alright! Let's get going, Tara!"

"W-wait! My head…man, that hurts…"

"Too bad, you can patch up later. We're late for your training!"

"Training?!"

"Come on, hurry up you slowpoke!"

[-]

"This looks like a good spot for our first date."

"W-what?!"

"Don't worry, champ, it's just a tutorial."

"…just… Let's get th-this over with."

I had to admit, the place Kyu chose for our "date" was really nice. The Outdoor Lounge was always one of my favorite places to relax, especially in the evenings or at night. The moon shining over us, with the lamps illuminating the area just enough to be considered romantic. As I stared out into the rest of the lounge, Kyu began speaking again.

"Okay, sister, we're gonna start with the most basic of basics."

"Excuse me?"

Suddenly, a large grid appeared just to my left, floating in place and covered in many-colored circles with little symbols on them. Some had blue music notes, some yellow bells, a few orange crescent moons, and only three had dark broken hearts… It all made me think of Candy Crush.

Um. "Please tell me you're kidding."

"…Yeah. I am." At her words, the Grid disappeared, leaving magic brightly-colored confetti everywhere. "We used to do that, but my boss realized that it was too difficult, too time-consuming, not at all romantic, and misleading for actual dates without a love fairy's help. And, most annoyingly of all, it wasted a metric fuck-ton of fairy magic."

"Well it's g-good to know what's important to you fairies."

"All of that is important, which is why we don't use that piece of shit grid anymore! In place of that, you get to experience all of the wonderful things about dating the chicks of this town yourself, which does include the consequences of your actions, of course. With this fantastic new system, you can learn everything you need to know, along with my indirect help and this neat little device right here!" Before I could properly respond, Kyu held out a lightly-curled fist. Some sort of pink aura surrounded it, with a surprising amount of streamers and confetti pouring into Kyu's hand. Suddenly, a flare of purple power pooled into her hand as well. Kyu apparently wasn't expecting this and yelped a little as the light in her hands shone as bright as the lamps illuminating the area. A sudden flash, making me blink rapidly, and the pink light was gone. In its place in Kyu's hand was a decently-sized phone with a royal purple-colored casing.

Kyu blinked confusedly, then cleared her throat, before speaking in a hilarious auctioneer's tone. "Presenting… the latest in fairy technology… the HunieBee 4.0!" She raised an open palm, and a swirl of fairy magic revealed a phone, very similar to the "uPhone" line.

I gasped loudly, missing my old phone. It got stolen only a week or so ago by some bitch from my locker at the Hot Springs. I held out a shaking hand as Kyu's fanfare ended.

"This little thing can do everything that we need, and probably a little more. Its main function is that it tracks every important girl you come across from the moment you meet them and keeps track of their location, likes and dislikes, you know - the works. You can also buy food and actual gifts straight from the HunieBee, although it isn't recommended while you're out. It'd be awkward for your girl to see food or whatever appear in your hands out of literally nowhere."

"T-track their location?!"

"Sure! This whole thing is easier that way!"

"…I feel like a stalker."

"Hey, you don't have to have the amazing HunieBee."

"N-no! Tt's fine. I'll g-get used to being a creep." What level of hell do I belong in now?

"Yeah! That's the spirit, Tara!"

There was one certain subject that stuck in my mind. Even now, it still makes me grimace. "What happens if a girl finds out I'm cheating on them with another? Can the phone, like, wipe memories or something? Oh my god, that's terrible."

"Well, the older models used to do that. Until a few people started abusing it…" Kyu's face curled in disgust as mine did. "Oh! There's also a stun feature. Here, watch!" Kyu suddenly ripped the HunieBee from my hands, and said…

…I can't actually remember, now. Huh. Oh, well.

"Kyu, how did the phone teleport to your hand?"

"Magic." Kyu snorted twice adorably as a few pink sparkles appeared out of thin air, before handing the phone back.

"Seriously, Kyu? Mr. Bean?"

"What is with you and references?"

"Eh, someone's gotta break that wall."

"Please god, tell me that's not an innuendo." The next thing that happened threw both Kyu and I into silence.

I think that's the first time Kyu didn't purposefully make an innuendo with a joke like that.

"…Venus? Seriously, you're watching this?" Apparently Kyu knew who this was.

Sure. It's been entertaining so far. I will warn you, Kyu - this will be your greatest accomplishment yet.

I, being the girl that I was, drew a line at love fairies. Having a sultry yet caring voice speak to apparently both me and the fairy in front of me telepathically? Nope, nope, and nope.

Whump

"Damn it, Venus! Look what you did to Tara!"

O-oh. I did not expect her to faint. Just a minute.

[-]

I awoke with a start, nearly slamming my head back into the lounge booth. Thankfully, Kyu caught me with a gloved hand.

"Hey, you okay there Tara?"

"A little dizzy…" What happened, exactly?

"Here, this should help." Kyu pointed a finger at me, little pink swirls forming and covering my face. I was too dizzy and/or confused to care. My vision became clearer, besides the bright veil over everything, and my eyes finally focused properly. I turned towards Kyu, and…

"Umm…." A slight blush went to my cheeks, and I really, really wanted to get closer to Kyu right then and there. Maybe even…

SLAP

"OW! W-w-what the hell?!" A red handprint covered my pale cheek, as did my own hands.

"Hey! Hands off the merchandise…for now. We're busy, and you can't mix business with pleasure!"

"What the crap are you… ohh… fairy magic."

"Did I… Whoops! I must have used too much."

"Yeah. So fairy magic is sex magic, then?"

"That's… well, you're close. Lots of healing is involved too. I mean, we can do so many things with just our hands, but we can do other stuff too, like-"

"NOPE. Don't need to go that far."

"Mmmkay. Anyway, the HunieBee. All of our work is going to center around it. The Huniebee will act as your hub for everything you'll need. Gifts, bonuses on dates, and even Munie!"

"Money?"

"What? No! Munie! Muuunnniieeee. You gotta spell it right!"

Spell it right? "…Munie?"

"There you go! Munie is our currency, and is much better than your human money. Ugh, even saying it makes me feel like a foreigner… And before you ask "How do I get this fantastic Munie?", I'll show you! …Wait, go ahead and open your phone."

I unlocked it, after having to draw a heart in a little game.

"Nice lock password, huh?" Kyu giggled and I continued on.

The hub screen was simple enough. Shiny blue background, pink border, but no apps. On the bottom of the screen were a few tabs. "Food" "Drink" "Gifts" "Messages" "Grid" and "Settings".

I hesitantly clicked on Grid, but nothing happened.

"Oh! Here's where the grid has been placed. Now it's the Munie-Grubbing Grid, where once a week you can get a bunch of Munie quickly! It should activate…now! Tap it again."

The Grid tab blinked, and then the Messages tab blinked afterward. "Notifications. Alright." I tapped Grid, and the same grid that Kyu had shown me before appeared on the screen with a flashy opening sequence. As before it was full of multicolored circles and shapes, and one in particular stood out to me – the bright blue tear-drop. I was about to ask questions, but then Kyu scooted closer and pressed into my side. I nearly dropped my phone, but I kept my hold with a blush on my face.

"The little circles in the grid are called 'tokens', and you will want to match them in groups of three or more as much as possible. Except the Broken Heart tokens; don't you dare think of matching those."

"This doesn't seem too bad. I've played puzzle games like this before… I'm guessing it's just get as many points as possible?"

"Kinda... Though, be careful, you have a limited amount of moves. Let me just explain everything now. There are 8 different kinds of tokens; Sexuality, Romance, Talent, Sentiment, Joy, Passion, Broken Heart, and my favorite, Flirtation."

"I'm not surprised."

"…The four affection tokens, Sexuality, Romance, Flirtation, and Talent all increase the Affection Meter. Fill up the Affection Meter and you've won the minigame, giving you a lot of Munie. The Joy tokens will give you more moves, and the more you have left when you fill up the Affection Meter, the more Munie you'll get! The Sentiment tokens let you use "date gifts", which you don't actually get to give to your girl – they're a part of the grid. These gifts don't take up a turn, and have special effects that help you out. Usually, the more helpful the gift, the more Sentiment it costs. Passion tokens are a score multiplier; the more Passion you have, the more Affection you'll get from matching the Affection tokens.

"Finally, the worst for last, the Broken Heart tokens. Match these, and you're Affection Meter will drop. A lot. Don't touch these with an imaginary 10-foot stick. Unless moving them will help you in some way. ….Just…don't match them. You'll regret it."

"That's a lot to take in at once... I don't think I'll be able to handle all this."

"No worries, Tara, that's why we're here. Just to make sure you know what you're doing, help yourself to a few moves."

The Date Grid shimmered, and a small menu appeared on the bottom. Passion, moves available, sentiment, and the Affection Meter were on it, along with six slots on the side labeled "Date Gifts". As I looked at it, the "Available" in "Moves Available" turned into an 8.

"Before you get started, I will say, if you fail to fill the Affection Meter before you run out of moves, you don't get anything. It's all or nothing! Now get started, champ!"

I was never one to back down from a challenge, even if my timid stuttering threw you off track. I looked a little closer at the grid, focusing on the proper move, but I noticed something. In the top right corner of the screen, I could see a portrait of Kyu winking. I blinked, but didn't mention it. Game first, questions later.

[-]

"You know, with your knowledge of puzzle games, you'd think you'd be able to do better than that."

"I didn't match any Broken Heart tokens!"

"That's true, champ, but otherwise you fucking sucked. And not in the good way."

"First of all, stop that. Second of all, nothing came down like it should have! I kept trying to get that four-in-a-row, but the Romance token wouldn't show up! Third of all, the Talent tokens gave me barely any points, even with max Passion! And that's all that showed up. Fucking. Talent tokens."

"Eh. I'm not really one for talent. Just a good lay is all I need."

"UGH! Why does that even matter?!"

"Oh my god, I forgot to tell you. Certain tokens will have more effect on your date than others, while some tokens are the other way around – it all depends on the girl. The picture of me in the top right? That's because you were focused on me, and any bonuses you can buy with Munie depend on which girl you choose for the grid. It sounds convoluted, but we didn't want it to become too overpowered."

I cast the deepest, darkest, deathiest glare I could manage at Kyu. Her forest-green eyes widened and fear began to envelop her. Kyu shook a little, before attempting to pull her eyes away from mine.

"U-uhhh…?"

"…" Stare.

"Y-you're scaring me here…"

"…" I continued to stare into her fairy soul.

"…I'm s-sorry, T-Tara."

"What was that, Kyu?" Stare.

"I-I'm s-so s-s-sorry." Tears leaked from the corners of her eyes.

"Apology accepted." I reached forward and gave her a hug.

"W-what kind of human are you?" Her eyes were wet, though the tears had stopped flowing.

"…The kind that needs your help, Kyu."

"…You switch emotions faster than a fairy can f-"

"Noooooooooo. No. We're not going there."

"Aww, you're no fun…" Even as she said that, Kyu smiled wide, and let go of me.

Kyu put a hand on my shoulder, and winked at me. "With my help and your generally bad puzzle-solving skills, we'll conquer the chicks of this town!

"Yaaaay…"

[-]

I woke with a start, back in my bed. It was morning, and the sun shined into my eyes and… "...cooked me alive." My eyes adjusted to the burning rays, and I heard some very…pleased sounds coming from my computer desk nearby. I turned, still bleary from my waking, and thought I saw a fairy with pink hair wearing nothing but panties looking through some magazines with her feet propped up on my desk. But that's just silly. Then I realized that she actually wasn't wearing anything.

Whumpf*

"Ooooh man… her tits are huuuuuuge… I bet she's a straight-up porn star or something…"

End of Chapter

Alright. I managed to write nearly 4000 words for the first chapter. Hooray! While this isn't the only fanfiction I've written, this is the only one on site because I deleted the other two because I hated them.

Personally, I love Huniepop to death, and I had an idea that wouldn't go away of merging the game and more realistical (it's a word I swear) stuff together. I tried doing that by changing the Date Grid system a bit, as explained, and making meetings far more awkward!

Thank you all for reading! Please review, favorite, follow, and all that. I greatly appreciate it!

Special Thanks to Cypher DS and CrystalMoonlightII for being unofficial Betas for my little story, and who got me back into writing.

*Sound of Tara fainting and landing back on her bed.