1. Isabelle

Izzy had been following him around for days. Just always there behind him, around him, where ever he went. She was even looking at him with her sad puppy eyes and Alec was pretty sure they were going to overwhelm him any second.

She had been unusually subdued, too. She'd had none of her usual flair, her classic smirk was missing from her lips. His sister had at least half given up her motherly wardrobe, which made Alec smile a little private smile. He had never wanted to see his sister grow up like he had.

But even in her old revealing clothes again, which Alec knew made her feel better than anything else she could wear, she just didn't seem like herself. Around Alec especially, she would get this sad look in her eyes and a frown would pull her lips down.

Alec hated it. He was still new to this dealing with emotions (and especially new to it with anyone besides Magnus), so he wasn't entirely sure how to work his way up to asking his baby sister what was wrong.

Eventually, he just snapped. He couldn't take it anymore, he missed his vibrant, distracting sister and he wanted her back damn it.

"What is wrong with you?" he finally asked, throwing down his training staff. Isabelle hadn't even come into the training court, just hovered around the edges looking at him with those sad, sad eyes.

Those eyes widened in surprise at his harsh tone (and yes, that was louder and angrier than he had been expecting, but he was still new at this). She chewed on her bottom lip gently, eyes flicking down to the floor and back again.

"I—uh," she stuttered and Alec stared at her. This was the most he had ever seen Isabelle, beautiful, confident Isabelle, act like him, awkward, inexperienced Alec.

She sucked in a slow breath and her nervous gaze steadied. When she spoke again, her voice was even and her words made sense. It was back to the way things should be. Almost.

"I'm sorry," Isabelle said quickly, like she was in a rush to force the words out. "I'm just so sorry Alec."

Alec blinked, opening his mouth a little like a fish. "What?" he asked. What did she have to be sorry for?

"For everything," she said, looking distressed. Had Alec said that last part out loud? "For not taking anything seriously for so long. For being such a nuisance to the Clave and for thinking the rules meant nothing just because the fallout hadn't effected us yet."

He really wished he knew what to say. He had never expected an apologize from Isabelle for breaking the rules. She had never before.

"We — Me, Jace, even Clary — we should have seen how it was effecting you," Isabelle continued. "Jace and I, we should have known. We should have realized that it wasn't just that we were above the rules, it was that you were making sure us breaking them didn't hurt anyone but you. You took all the heat and we never thanked you for it or apologized."

Izzy looked like she was about to cry, and Alec was wrapping his arms around her before he even really knew what he was doing. It was his job to comfort his sister, to make sure she was happy. But now…

Now she was apologizing for something he thought she would never understand, even now. And he so wished so many things hadn't happened over the last two weeks, including Izzy's sudden maturity, but this. This he would always be grateful for.

So he didn't ask how she had finally figured it out or why it had taken her so long to apologize.

No, he just pulled her closer into his chest as she fought back tears. He just pressed a kiss to her dark hair.

He just whispered, "it's okay, Izzy. I forgive you."

2. Clary

Alec and Clary had reached something of an understanding. Honestly, he thought as they sparred, maybe something a little more than that. He wondered, in one of the weirdest moments of his life, if they were becoming friends.

Of course, that moment was the one Clary chose to put him on his ass, so maybe not.

Clary helped him up with a bright smile, a well meant taunt no doubt on the tip of her tongue.

Alec rolled his eyes. "Don't be too pleased with yourself," he said. "The only reason you got me—"

"Was because you were distracted," Clary finished and Alec looked at her. A wicked grin spread across her face. "I guess I just didn't know that oh so powerful Shadowhunters could even get distracted."

Because he had only just done it, Alec fought back the urge to roll his eyes again. "Oh yes, so clever of you."

Clary winked. "I thought so," she said, pulling off her sparring gloves slowly and stretching out her fingers and wrists. Alec turned to grab his shirt from the bench, but Clary hesitantly called him back.

"Alec," she said slowly. "I'm sorry about how I acted before."

He narrowed his eyes. "You're… sorry?" he asked carefully.

Clary huffed just a bit. "Don't sound so shocked," she said, with a small but playful grin. "I just mean, I'm sorry for putting you under so much pressure before. I was just thinking about saving my mom and not what would happen to anyone else because of it. Well, I guess I thought about people dying…" Clary began fidgeting with her hands. She was rambling too, and wow Alec was really not used to the people around him acting like him. "… I just. I mean, I didn't think about how you would be effected. Or how Isabelle would be. You just all seemed sort of, I don't know, untouchable, and… I just wanted to save my mom."

Alec stared at her for a moment. It would be so easy to reject her apology. After everything she had done, she might just deserve it.

But Alec had come a long way since then, and so had she. It was silly to hold old grudges.

So Alec smiled just slightly and shook his head just a bit. "Forgiven," he said and tossed her a sparring stick. "Now, stop moping about and see if you can hit me again.

3. Jace

Things hadn't been easy with Jace. Oh, things hadn't been easy with Jace for a long time, since Alec had realized he had perhaps more than brotherly feelings for him.

Those feelings now though, they seemed so trivial now that he had Magnus. Alec was pretty sure part of it was a bit of hero worship and another part was that Jace had been the only real crushable object in his immediate vicinity. And he had always had a strong bond with Jace, it was hardly a wonder that he had once thought he had true feelings for him.

After Jace's apologize at Alec's "bachelor party" (when Magnus had learned about it, he refused to count it as a true bachelor party and made Isabelle promise to come talk to him before throwing anyone else such a party), Jace had really tried to be a better parabatai, a better brother to Alec. And Alec was grateful. He was glad to have his brother back, someone willing to actually listen to him before running off and doing some crazy thing.

It wasn't perfect, but it was a start to rebuilding what they once had.

One thing that would make it easier though was if Jace would stop looking at him with that confusion written all over his face.

Oh, Jace had made it perfectly clear that he was thrilled that Alec was dating Magnus, finally. He was thrilled that Alec could finally be himself.

But when Magnus was there with Alec, when they touched or looked at each other and smiled for a bit too long, Alec would almost always turn to see a small frown of confusion twisting his parabatai's mouth.

Lately it had become all the more common and Alec was beginning to get ready to hit Jace over the head.

In a moment of deja vu, Alec turned to his sibling and said "what."

Jace stared at him for a second, surprise (and possibly more confusion but Alec was ignoring that because damn it Jace what) written all over his face.

A second later, Jace cleared his throat. "Last time I tried to talk to you about this, you hit me over the head," he said, trying to muster up a smile.

Oh. Oh yeah. They had never really talked about Alec's aborted feelings for Jace, other than that time where the had fought in the City of Bones.

Alec hadn't really thought about it for a long time. Jace, apparently, had not done the same.

"I'm sorry," Jace said softly. It was Alec's turn to look surprised. That was perhaps the most apologetic he had ever seen or heard his parabatai. "I'm sorry for throwing your feelings in your face like that, and for never acknowledging them before. And," he said hastily, like he was worried he couldn't get everything out in time, "I'm sorry for treating you like… like a lap dog."

Alec snorted. "Well," he said. "Thank you. I didn't think you were going to apologize for that."

Jace began to look guilty and Alec hurried to finish his thought. "Because I don't think about those "feelings" I had for you often," he said. "I… think they were more like a crush than anything. I mean, with Magnus—"

"Whoa," Jace said, holding up his hands in a surrender sign. "You know I think you and Magnus are great together, but I know how you get when you start talking about him, and I'd like this conversation to go somewhere within a few hours at least.

Alec tried very hard to ignore the blush he knew was spreading across his face. "Anyway," he said quickly. "I don't think they were real feelings so much. They don't bother me anymore."

"Well," Jace said, "that's good then. I'm glad." He fidgeted just slightly and Alec's mouth almost dropped open. He could easily count on one hand how many times his parabatai had been this nervous before. "And… and the other thing?" he asked, glancing at Alec warily.

Alec sighed. Right. The other thing. "It… did annoy me," he admitted. The way Jace had treated him, like his wishes hadn't mattered had smarted. It still did. And Alec told Jace so. He watched Jace's face fall at that. "But, I forgive you for doing it, even though it still kind of bothers me," Alec said. Jace's eyebrows rose in surprise. "And," Alec continued, "I think about how if it had been Izzy, and I really don't know how different I would have been able to be."

Jace wore a grimace now, and yeah that Clary sibling thing may not have been the best way to go, but it was the truth.

It took him a minute, but Jace's face cleared to something much more like relief. "So we're okay?" he asked hopefully. "You forgive me?"

Alec huffed a laugh and threw his arm around his parabatai's shoulders. "Yeah, I do."

+1. Magnus

Magnus was upset.

It made Alec nervous when his boyfriend (his boyfriend) was upset. No, not because he was worried Magnus was going to hurt him or anything, but because Alec so rarely knew what was wrong and how to make things better for him again.

It had taken a while for Alec to really even read the signs that meant Magnus was upset. He always looked so put together, with his perfect outfits and his exquisite make-up. Even his mannerisms remained mostly the same, but there was just an air about him that Alec could see now.

Thankfully, Magnus was not upset like how he was when he had run into Alec and Lydia when they were still engaged, right before he, Clary and Jace had gone after Ragnor Fell. That Magnus was something Alec never wanted to see again.

He was, however, upset like how he had been when Alec had come to ask him to help with Isabelle's trial. It was more a nervous upset, one that had him playing with the tips of his fingers and shuffling his rings around just so.

He wandered around his apartment, looking for something other than the drink in his had to distract him. Alec watched him pace from the blue love seat, before he decided he couldn't take it anymore.

Alec rose and slid behind Magnus, wrapping his arms around the smaller man's torso and resting his chin gently on the top of Magnus' head. He finally froze.

"Magnus," Alec said, in that rumbling voice he knew Magnus liked.

Magnus sucked in a breath.

Alec tugged him closer, if that was even possible anymore. "Tell me what's wrong," he said quietly.

Magnus sighed and wiggled in Alec's arms, turning so to face him. "Are you happy?" he asked, a furrow that Alec hated on principal in his brow.

It took a second for the question to resister. "I…"

Honestly, how was he supposed to answer that. It should be so obvious. The answer was of course, of course, because Magnus was Magnus and Alec had never felt anything like what Magnus made him feel because Magnus was Magnus—

Alec realized he was standing there with his mouth hanging open, and Magnus was just growing more and more fearful. He could actually feel his boyfriend's increasing heart rate against his chest.

"I just wanted to make sure you really were," Magnus said, sounding so defeated it made Alec's heart drop down, down, down. Forget his stomach, Alec was sure it was somewhere around his ankles. Magnus looked like there was nothing he wanted to do more than start fiddling with his hands again, but he and Alec were too close for that. "I wanted to make sure you didn't feel like… like I pushed you into—"

"Stop," Alec said and oh, that came out harsher than he wanted. Magnus didn't flinched, but he stared up at Alec with wide, scared eyes.

Alec was at a loss for words yet again, so he just cradled the back of Magnus' head with one of his hands and put the other one his waisted and pulled him closer. His hands and arms wrapped completely around the warlock, pressing him as tightly as possible to his chest.

It was when Alec finally let Magnus get even a bit of wiggle room that he finally choked out, "why would you… even—think that?"

Magnus' eyes were wide still, but they held less fear and Alec was relieved. "I don't know," Magnus said, in the same wavering voice he had once used for "I know you feel what I feel, Alec." Remembering that argument made Alec sad himself… and. Oh. Oh.

That was why Magnus would think that.

"Magnus," Alec said, tilting his head up with a finger under his chin. "Magnus, I don't regret anything. You were amazing."

"I don't want you to feel like I forced you to—"

"You didn't," Alec said. "You didn't force me, you didn't push me. Not into your arms, at least. You did make me accept who I am and what I feel. And what I need to be happy."

Magnus looked hopeful now, but he still hadn't completely lost that air of nervousness. "And the wedding?" he asked, glancing down at the floor. "I showed up. You kissed me in front of everyone because I showed up, like I was ambushing you."

Alec tilted his head up just slightly higher, trying to get those eyes back on him. It worked. "The wedding," Alec breathed. "You handled everything perfectly. You stood away from all of us, you would have left if I asked." Alec closed his eyes just for a second and imagined if their positions were swapped, if Magnus was the one getting married to someone he didn't love, could never love, and Alec was the one with all those feelings he knew how to accept.

He really didn't know if he could have been as perfect as Magnus had been.

"Magnus, you gave me a real, concrete choice. Something that I could see and touch. I needed that. It was my choice to kiss you in front of everyone, you didn't force me to do anything."

Magnus let out a shuttering breath and Alec pressed a reassuring kiss to his forehead. "I just," Magnus said and it sounded suspiciously wet so Alec just shushed him gently.

"You never did anything wrong," Alec said, his breath brushing against Magnus' forehead. "You have nothing to worry about, nothing to apologize for. There's nothing I could even forgive you for." And then Alec hesitated and then smiled, making sure his voice was as lighthearted as possible. "Actually…" he said. Magnus stared at him. "If you were holding that in for this long, I think that's what you need to be forgiven for."

Magnus nearly giggled (giggled), "Well, Alexander," he nearly purred, his brown eyes narrowing, and oh that wasn't fair, "maybe I can earn your forgiveness."

And oh did he.

I started this a ten thirty it's twelve now and i'm so tired i woke up at like 5 this morning. I barely edited shit, all mistakes are my own.

i'm slightly grumpy because tired, but I really hope you enjoy. This is the first time I've posted in this fandom, so I hope it's good!