This is a Roman X Qrow Fanfic, where Roman is genderbent and named Ramona (And she's got a secret) This AU is also half our world half theirs...also since I am not the greatest writer ever, I apologize that I'm not, some portrayals of the characters may not be too accurate, anyways enjoy.

The night was cool, the shattered moon high in the sky, surrounded by a sea of stars, a few clouds drifted freely in the winds.

Down below, in an alleyway, a small orange light flared to life, being moved to the tip of a cigar.

Heels clicked on the stone pathway, as well as the clicking of a cane.

The heels were followed by heavy footfalls of boots, and a couple men's voices chatting.

The heels stopped.

The owner of the heels took a large drag from her cigar and blew the smoke out.

She smirked. "I hope you boys were worth the money." She said softly with her devilish silver tongue.

One of the men nodded. "I assure you we are ma'am."

She smiled and gestured for them to follow her.

She led them to the docks, where a large amount of dust was being unloaded from a cargo ship.

She took one more drag from her cigar before tossing it aside.

She fixed her bowler hat atop her magma orange long hair and sighed.

"Prove your worth boys."

And like a pack of wolves, the men disappeared into the shadows.

The woman began to slowly stroll through the docks, as the guards who spotted her vanished, and were silenced by dull, soft, crunches.

She hummed 'Ain't No Grave' by Johnny Cash, and spun her cane on a single finger.

Soon she was at the center of the docks, where the foreman's office sat in front of her.

She skipped up the steps, and gingerly knocked on the door.

When the door swung open, one of the men who worked at the docks was about to yell at her, expecting one of the other dock workers to be there.

A moment later he had flown across the room, and was crumpled in a heap, his heart still.

The foreman looked back at the door, only to find the woman had vanished, and that was when his throat erupted in a small fountain of blood, and his world was consumed by darkness.

She smirked at the Foreman's body, and removed a card from his breast pocket.

She stepped outside, expecting to see her men to be waiting for her, but her blood ran cold when she was met with the image of the grim reaper himself.

Qrow Branwen stood atop a container, holding one of her men in one hand, in the other his scythe.

He tossed the man down to her and she stepped back inside.

"...He never mentioned there'd be a hunter…" She whispered to herself.

A moment later a hole was sliced in the ceiling, and Qrow dropped in.

"Surrender." He ordered her.

"Or what? You'll spank me?" She teased him, her fear betraying her.

"Or I'll cut your whore head off." He threatened.

Her expression turned serious and she sighed. "Let me leave and I'll never come back." She said softly.

"I refuse." He shot back.

She bowed her head. "Do you know what the second most dangerous thing on the planet is besides a person?" She asked softly.

He tilted his head.

"A cornered animal." And then in a flash Qrow was on his back, his chest now had a few large gashes, and his cheek felt...tingly.

Ramona Andria Torchwick sprinted down the street as fast she could, her lungs burning. She could hear him gaining on her, his alcoholic scent assaulting her sensitive nose.

She dropped to all fours and rounded a corner, when she did she saw a flag pole sticking out of a nearby shop. She leapt up to it, and spun on it, before vaulting onto the rooves.

She broke into a sprint again, and made the mistake of looking back, before the world suddenly went black.

Qrow panted heavily as he sat the now unconscious Ramona Torchwick up and cuffed her. He noticed that her hat hadn't come off when he had hit her a moment ago, but thought nothing more of it than a tightly fitting hat.

He pulled out his scroll. "I got your perp, though we could use a pickup...and an infirmary."

"Splendid work Qrow, assistance will be there momentarily." Ozpin's voice answered.

5 hours later, 6:15 am, Vale holding cells.

Ramona slowly woke in a strange smelling and unfamiliar place.

She looked around before swearing under her breath.

She sat up in the prison infirmary and thanked Monty that no one had dared change her or….oh no…

"Looking for something little kitty?" A familiar voice, that was accompanied by a familiar alcoholic scent, asked.

She spun to face the voice's source and froze.

The man from earlier sat there smirking and holding her hat.

"Never thought one of the most vile criminals in Vale, would be...well…"

"...a faunus?" She looked away slowly.

He nodded. "Especially since you have are notorious for attacking white fang rallies, and being labeled most racist villain of the year." He half joked.

She hugged herself and sighed. "Can I have my hat back?"

"Why?" He asked.

"My ears are cold…." She said softly. Two orange cat ears atop her head twitched and folded flat, showing her obvious discomfort.

He apologized and placed it on her head and she thanked him softly.

"Now, , I'm going to have to ask you some important questions." Qrow said softly while leaning forward.

"My first question, why all the dust?"

She remained silent.

"Okay, second. Who's your boss?"

"I can't tell you…" She mumbled.

"Why's that?"

"Because she owns me. I can't betray her…" She whispered.

"Who?" Qrow asked softer.

"The mistress…" Ramona answered softly.

"...Why though? There must be a reason?" He pushed.

"...I'm sorry, I can't tell you." She answered.

Qrow sighed and stood up. "Then I'm keeping the cane."

Ramona went to yell at him when she was flicked on the nose.

"I'll be back later, leave and I'll hunt you down and break your legs." He said sternly before turning and leaving.

She sighed and laid back. "Great….Cinder's gonna kill me….if she doesn't kill him first…" She soon realized the Alcoholic smell was returning.

She sat up as Qrow entered the room.

"So kitty. Got a place to stay?" He asked.

She shook her head slowly. "Why?"

"Prison's full...guess you're coming home with me." He sighed, obviously annoyed.

She chuckled. "No thanks I'd rather eat glass.

"I can arrange that to be lead." He said with a dark tone.

She fell silent and swallowed hard.

He gently and slowly helped her to her feet, where she shook him off and slowly began to walk.

He was directly behind her the entire time, watching her every move.

Once outside, Qrow led her to his car, which he so generously shoved into.

They drove for fifteen minutes in utter silence.

Once they arrived at his home her eyes went wide.

His house was three stories, and had a very large lawn which was surrounded by concrete walls and a fancy metal gate to the driveway.

He drove inside and walked around to her side of the car, and dragged her out.

"Welcome home bitch. You'll get five star treatment, such as your very own room that's under constant surveillance, baby food for breakfast lunch and dinner, your own bathroom, and oh, your gracious host, me."

She opened her mouth to comment but he shoved her inside the house before she could.

She remained silent as he showed her around.

When they came to his room he sighed. "I'm going to have to pull those apart."

She turned to him, a bit confused. "Why?"

"I'm not sharing a bed with you is why. I'd rather not get an STD."

'Welllll fuck you pissed in my cereal.' She thought to herself.

She held her hands out, still cuffed.

"What?"

"Shake my hand dickhead." She said calmly.

He sighed and did so.

"Ramona Torchwick, nice to meet you ." She said softly.

He rolled his eyes. "Bite me." He unlocked her cuffs and then went downstairs.

Ramona looked around and then decided she needed to change.

She showered for half an hour.

When she walked out of the bathroom she found a white gown, one that looked...very formal.

It's scent was that of a….schnee.

Downstairs she could hear arguing now, and then a door slamming shut.

She came downstairs and found Qrow's cheek bright red and his head bowed.

She furrowed her brow and looked at the door. "Who….was that?" She asked softly.

"It doesn't matt-" He had turned to her and he stared angrily at her noticing she was wearing Schnee's gown. "Why are you wearing that?"

"I thought you had left it out for me." She said defensively.

He groaned. "Go put on a robe and wait for your clothes to be out of the wash."

She nodded and headed back upstairs, when she suddenly heard a girl yell.

She whipped around and found a very short girl pointing and yelling at her. "Uncle Qrow there's a strange woman in the house!" The redhead yelled.

"She's a work friend Ruby, she's going to be staying here with us for a while." Qrow yelled up

"...why?" Ruby asked.

"She's going to help me with a case." Qrow answered.

Ruby slowly walked up to Ramona and stuck her hand out. "Ruby Rose, and you might be….my uncle's new girlfriend?" Ruby asked with honest curiosity.

Ramona took Ruby's hand and shook it. "Ramona Torchwick, pleasure meeting you...thankfully no." Ramona answered, causing Ruby to giggle.

"Then why are you wearing Winter's gown?" She asked.

Ramona sighed. "It was on the bed when I got out of the shower, and I thought it was for me...but it wasn't, I'm actually about to go change."

Ruby nodded.

"Which I'm going to go do now." Ramona said before turning and closing the door as she changed.

"So...you're a faunus?" Ruby asked from outside.

"...Yeah, why do you ask?"

"Well, I have this friend named Blake, and she's a faunus...and well, I was wondering if you could answer some questions for me?" Ruby asked softly.

Ramona was silent for a few moments before answering, "How about, you go make some tea, and meet me downstairs, and I'll answer your questions, okay?" Ramona asked.

"Okay!" Ruby's footsteps retreated down the steps, leaving Ramona alone with her thoughts for the time being.

'At least there's one nice person in this house.' She sighed and tied her robe tightly, so it wouldn't cause her to accidentally flash her new host.

She came downstairs and found Ruby in the dining room watching Tv, two cups of tea on the table in front of her. She slowly and quietly walked over, and sat down next to her.

"So red, you had some questions?" She asked with her usual charm.

"Red?" She furrowed her brow, confused.

"It fits you, now, those questions?"

"Oh yeah! Okay, uh, first question, do all Faunus have night vision?" Ruby asked excitedly.

Ramona chuckled and leaned back, sipping her tea, a smirk growing. "Well, those like me, felines, canines, and reptiles have excellent night vision, some like bulls and such...they couldn't see the broad side of a house even if it was painted with neon green and had floodlights pointed at it."

The two giggled at this before Ruby interrupted. "Do all the Faunus who have animals with claws, actually have claws?"

"Some do, some don't, it's a random trait." Ramona said as she smirked at her own nails. "And some, like me, have retractables."

"Do you all have tails? If so, is Blake hiding hers from us?" Ruby asked with child like curiosity.

Ramona gestured for Ruby to lean closer, and when she did, Ramona leaned towards her with a devilish smirk, before a bright orange fluffy tail poked Ruby in the nose, and Ramona said, "Boop."

Ruby giggled like a preschooler, which made Ramona smile.

"Not all of us do, but those of us who do, like to hide them, mainly because….well if you get bullied for being Faunus, people pull your tail." Ramona said, as if she had experience.

Ruby nodded and suddenly her cheeks went red. "Okay...uh….my friend Blake, keeps acting….well, weird around me...and…."

"Weird h-Oh….it means that she's comfortable around you, purring, and cuddling is what us felines do when we want to tell someone….it means she likes you." Ramona quickly interrupted.

Ruby smiled and blushed brightly at that. "Thanks Ramona!"

"No pro-" Ruby tackle hugged Ramona and squeezed her tightly.

"Okay...Red, no touchy, no touchy touchy." Ramona said as she gently picked Ruby up and put her down.

Ruby giggled. "You sound like Kuzco."

Ramona chuckled. "Then, wanna be my patcha?"

Ruby smiled excitedly. "Yes!"

Ramona smiled, her first genuine smile in a while. "How old are you Ruby?"

"...uhm….eight." Ruby answered.

"And you watch Disney?" Ramona asked.

"Of course, it's my childhood….it's all me and my m-" Ruby went silent and her expression turned dark.

"I uh...goodnight Ramona, it was nice meeting you." And then Ruby slowly stalked up the stairs.

Ramona furrowed her brow. She suddenly smelt something familiar, and turned to see Qrow emerge from the kitchen.

"What's wrong with Ruby?" Ramona asked softly.

Qrow stopped and sighed. "Ruby….lost her mother a couple years ago...she was killed by some sort of extremely powerful huntress who….turned her to ash." Qrow choked out.

Ramona felt her blood chill, before she calmed herself. "Does Ruby have school tommorow?"

"No, it's saturday...why?" Qrow wondered.

"Can the case wait one day?"

"...I suppose, but why?"

"I want to watch all of Ruby's favorite movies with her, the disney ones….if that's okay." Ramona said.

"...I guess, but don't think that because my niece likes you, that I like you. In all honesty I wish I could have killed you at the docks." Qrow said sternly.

Ramona stood slowly and set her tea down, before starting up the steps, to which she called back, "I wish you had too." And then she went up, and headed to bed.

Meanwhile, at the docks.

A figure appeared atop one of the warehouses. Their eye's were a deep amber, and burned with fury. In their hand a small ball of fire grew, and once it was the size of a baseball, they tossed it down into a cargo container.

As Cinder Fall walked away from the docks, the Dust in the containers exploded violently.

'I'm going to find you, my pet. And I will have your head.'

The next day, let's say six in the morning.

Ramona cradled a sleeping Ruby, and carried her downstairs to the couch, where she gently woke Ruby.

"Hey, guess what we're doing today?" Ramona asked her.

Ruby furrowed her brow.

"We're having a marathon of all your favorite disney movies." Ramona whispered.

And that's when Ruby's eyes lit up. "REALLY!?"

"Yep, just for you." Ramona smiled, before her face was tackle hugged by the eight year old.

"YOU'RE THE BEST RAMONA!" Ruby yelled out.

Ramona chuckled. 'But I'm not...I'm a terrible person...but I'm glad someone out there think's I'm good.' Ramona thought to herself.

Ramona set her down and held up Treasure Planet, before putting it in the DVD player.

At seven, Qrow wandered down the stairs.

He groggily collapsed on the couch, but also, Ramona's tail.

Ramona fake screamed and pushed Qrow off.

Ruby started giggling.

Qrow blinked and shot up. "What's wrong?!"

"You sat on my tail! Oh my goodness, you're so flippin heavy!" She began to laugh with Ruby, and Qrow sighed.

"I'll be at the station, Ruby, if Ramona does anything evil, call me…" He started heading for the door, and Ramona heard him mumble, "I'm too sober for this shit."

She smiled to herself, before turning back to the movie.

At the station

Qrow stepped inside, to be greeted by the chief, who looked extremely angry.

"What's up Jimmy?" Qrow asked as he walked up to him.

James Ironwood gestured for him to follow, and he did. He led him to the large flatscreen in the station, and flipped it to the news.

"Last night, the docks were completely destroyed, every bit of evidence at the scene is ashes Qrow. Tell me, you at least have something to calm me the fuck down?" Ironwood asked sternly.

"I've got….a lead." Qrow said carefully.

"A lead? Just a lead?!" Ironwood groaned and turned away. "Okay, okay, a lead is fine...just...go find out where it takes you, and if you need backup, call me."

Qrow nodded and silently left the busy station.

Back home.

They had just finished Sinbad, when Ruby had fallen asleep, Ramona letting her nap quietly, when there was a knock at the door.

She recognized the scent of the person at the door, and her temper flared. She opened the door, and was greeted by Winter.

She glared at Ramona.

"Who, might I ask, are you?" Winter asked.

"Depends, why is a schnee here?" Ramona asked angrily.

Winter sighed. "I'm here to tell Qrow our divorce papers were finalized...now, who are you?"

"Just a dumb animal, protecting the house. I'll let him know about those papers, now please...go fuck yourself." Ramona slammed the door shut and was met to Ruby slowly waking.

"Ramona, I smell smoke…" Ruby said groggily.

"...Lunch is burning then, it's okay.." Ramona walked over and scooped Ruby up, and started heading for the kitchen, when she turned the corner, her blood ran cold.

Cinder Fall stood in the kitchen, in her hand, one of Ramona's coats.

"Hello Ramona. Never thought you'd live long enough to be a mother." Cinder said smugly.

Well my lovelies, that was episode one, hope you enoyed it, also I know, it's weird, doesn't make sense, but I must remind you, I suck at writing, anyways, I'll see you in the next episode.