Tuesday, April 19, 2016

Authors go, "my writing sucks. i have horrible writing skills." I go, "bruh. have you read mine?"

Be sure to leave a comment of what you though of this :)

[Start]

As he stared out of the window, he realized bitterly. So this was the reason? All those time together, did they mean nothing to her at all? All those times spent together were all in the past, weren't they?

The (H/C) haired girl really needed to stop being so lazy. Procrastination was her biggest talent- one that was basically ruining her life, but her being (Y/N), she didn't care in the slightest bit. It had been one week since she started her school year in Karasuno, in the first week on February.

Everyone knew her as the transfer student who barely knew Japanese. Of course, she wasn't totally clueless about the language. She knew a few words here and there, thanks to watching the Japanese subbed version of animes. That didn't mean she knew how to speak it fluently.

Thanks to her inability to understand or speak the language, she would be all alone during lunch break. She would wander the halls as everyone around her conversed what seemed like gibberish to her.

After managing to survive her math class, piecing together what made sense to her, she managed to, miraculously understand the lesson. It was her lunch break, and she was wandering around, trying to look for a vending machine, not exactly paying attention to where she was going, she bumped into someone, someone, hard.

(Y/N) nearly fell backward, stabling herself by grabbing onto the ledge of the window next to her. "Ouch!" she rubbed her forehead. "Watch where you're going!" she exclaimed.

She looked ahead, only to find herself facing the person's chest. She looked up, at the face of the blonde with glasses who was now saying something in Japanese.

She tilted her head. "I don't know if you know this or not, but I'm the transfer student who can't speak or understand Japanese at all."

"You're the one everyone has been talking about?" he asked, with surprisingly perfect English.

She raised an eyebrow. "People have been talking about me? Well not that I would know. Anyway, do you know where I can find a vending machine?"

"There's one by the front door of the school, how could you miss it?" The tone of his voice annoyed (Y/N), but she didn't reveal any hint of that.

She smiled sweetly. "Are you trying to suggest that I may as well be blind?"

"And if I am?"

She chuckled, resisting the urge to reach up and pat his head out of habit, which she would've, if he weren't so damn tall. "That's okay. I'm not the one with the glasses." With that she walked off, leaving the blonde annoyed and a bit surprised.

/

"I can't believe this." the (H/C)-haired girl said in frustration. "I have to be stuck with you?"

"I'm not any less excited about this either." he responded dryly.

He had been assigned to tutor her in Japanese during their lunch break since he was the only one the teacher had at her disposal.

Least to say, it wasn't working very well. Both of their personalities clashed, impossible for them to get along.

"You're horrible at this." he stated as she tried, and failed to pronounce a Japanese word.

"I know that Mr-Know-It-All." she glared.

"Stop calling me that."

"How about I call you Four-Eyes instead?"

He rolled his eyes. "Do you ever stop?"

She shook her head. "Nope. People like you annoy me."

"Well people like you annoy me."

"Isn't that nice to know?" she went back to pronouncing the words horribly wrong.

"I asked the teacher to switch my tutor." she said.

"What did the teacher say?" Although, he had more than a clue as to what the response was.

"She said, I was being too childish about it." she huffed.

Tsukishima snickered in response.

She shot him a glare. "Okay, I shall cooperate today, because I know that if I don't get my Japanese down soon, I'm going to have a lot of trouble. Well, I actually am."

He helped her, and in one sitting, she had managed to get surprisingly, a lot down.

A week or two of working together, and (Y/N) was able to speak Japanese like she had been speaking it her whole life.

"Thanks." she said in Japanese.

"You're welcome."

/

"You're in the volleyball club, too?" she pointed at Tsukishima, her mouth agape in surprise.

"What are you doing here, shorty?"

"I was supposed to be joining as manager, but seeing as you're here as well...I'm going to have to rethink my decision..."

"I'm going to have to put up with you everyday?" he blinked in horror.

She glared at him. "More like I will have to put up with you. How is it that I have to always end up in the same place as you?" she sighed. "But I have no choice, my mom will kill me if I don't join a club soon. Just stay as far as you can from me."

"Gladly." he scoffed.

/

He was expecting several different people to be at his door 7 am in the morning on a Saturday, but definitely not her.

"Help...me..." she gasped to regain her breath.

He gave her an odd look. "Help you? With what?"

"Mom...signed..me..up for...a dance competition and the partner I had, ditched me. I have no one else." she huffed. "Please tell me you know how to dance."

"I do...but, do I really want to help you?"

"Four-Eyes, come on!"

He thought about it. "If you stop calling me 'Four-Eyes' and say please."

She grit her teeth. "What."

"Come on, say please." he smirked.

She gave him a deathly look.

"Well, if that's all, I have some sleep to catch up on." he was about to shut the door, when she stuck her foot in before it closed.

"Please help me!" she said loudly so he wouldn't make her repeat it.

He snickered. "Okay."

It was a slow song. Tsukishima hated those. Why was he doing this? Oh, right. Because of that annoying shorty. He had been forced into a tuxedo for the competition, and (Y/N) was still being dressed. Their turn was approaching quickly.

She finally emerged from her dressing room, her arms crossed, huffing. She wore a flowing maroon colored, sleeveless dress that went down to her ankles. Her eye color was more pronounced by the dark mascara she was wearing, and lips supported light lip gloss which looked as if it had been half smeared off.

(A/N: Forgive meh, I suck at descriptions like these. Cringe.)

She looked beautiful, and as soon as the thought crossed his mind he internally scolded himself for thinking that way about the shorty. She annoyed him greatly, and thanks to her, he was standing here wearing this stuffy suit.

"(L/N) (Y/N), and Tsukishima Kei." The next two to take the stage were announced.

"Well," she took in a deep breath. "Let's do this."

They hadn't practiced once. This had happened way too suddenly for that.

They started to dance, and somehow, without having practiced at all, they were completely in sync. Both were moving around as if they had been doing this this their whole life.

(A/N: Ok, I regret adding this part because idek what I'm doing but-)

As the song ended, they slowed down and she accidentally stepped on his foot. "Sorry." she cringed at her mistake.

He shot her a glare, before resuming to look passive.

They came to stop, bowing to the now applauding audience, who threw roses toward them.

"We probably lost, but thanks." she said after she had changed out or her dress.

He shrugged. "No problem, I guess."

They headed home along with their mothers, ready to end the day.

/

A few weeks ago:

"Why isn't the shorty here today?" For the first time since she had started her job as their manager, she was absent. Even if she had a headache, a stomach ache, or was sick with a fever, she'd never missed a day. Why wasn't she here today?

"I'm surprised you haven't heard." Kiyoko said.

"What do you mean?" he asked, a little confused.

"If she hasn't told you, I don't think I'm in any place to tell you either." she said, continuing to write down something in her notebook.

Tsukishima was annoyed now. The two of them were closer than she was with Kiyoko, yet she knew, and he didn't?

He banished those thoughts from his mind as everyone arrived and they began their warm ups.

(Y/N) lived a few houses down the same road as him, maybe he could check up on her? Was there a serious reason why she couldn't make it?

Tsukishima was only a few yards away from her house when he heard her laughter ringing through the quiet night, followed by the laughter of an unidentified male.

He took another step and he had a clear view of a sight which he wasn't sure how to judge. There she was, standing on her porch gripping the black jacket of the male in front of her, laughing really hard, as her (E/C) eyes twinkled, her (H/C) hair framing her face perfectly, and her face was g- what on earth was he thinking?

He shook himself out of his reverie in time to duck out of sight as the anonymous brown-haired male turned around, Tsukishima instantly recognizing him.

Thankfully, the male turned around and walked the opposite path, and Tsukishima let out a sigh of relief mixed with a tiny bit of anger. (Y/N) shut the door, now a small frown on her face, which went unnoticed by him, and he got up from his hiding place.

His mind told him not to go; he felt that whatever it was, he'd end up hurt from it. Knocking on the door lightly, he awaited for (Y/N) to open the door, and then explain to him why she was hanging out with him. What he did not expect was for her mother to come out and inform him that (Y/N) has fallen asleep. It was obvious that she couldn't have fallen asleep this quickly. He had just seen her outside a few moments ago. Was she...avoiding him?

Tsukishima thanked her and headed back to his house, a scowl present on his face. First she was acting all chummy with him, and now she was avoiding her best friend?

He tried to think of a logical excuse for her actions before coming up with none. Ignoring his thoughts, he immersed himself in his schoolwork.

/

"Tsukki...why have you been glaring at your book for the past ten minutes?" Yamaguchi asked hesitantly.

Tsukishima looked up briefly before looking back down. "It's nothing." he responded before continuing the English assignment. This subject reminded him of (Y/N) a lot.

The specified girl was sitting a few seats away from him, and there was this indescribably happy look on her face. It made him think back to last night and that made him did it make him jealous? Something like that shouldn't make him jealous.

Realizing he had drifted off into his thoughts once more, he let out a imperceptible sigh. The shorty annoyed him to no extent, but he couldn't help but still stick around.

With that, he finally put his full focus on completing his assignment.

"Hey shorty, where were you yesterday?" Tsukishima asked as he spotted her trying to close the lid on a water bottle and failing miserably.

She jumped at his voice, but didn't turn around. "Nowhere." she responded quietly.

"Why didn't you come to practice?" he asked, coming closer, and now standing in front of her.

"I went out." she didn't look up.

"With?"

"What makes you think that I was out with someone?"

"You would never just randomly skip practice to go somewhere, alone."

"I was on a date with my boyfriend. There, you happy?" she snapped, before walking away, not waiting for his reply.

Tsukishima stared at the spot where she had been in surprise. Boyfriend? He was her boyfriend? The news shouldn't have come to him as a surprise, but it did. It was more of her attitude toward him than anything, though.

Even if she was dating him, what was the reason for her to be so cold toward him? He hadn't done anything wrong. Had he?

Two entire weeks had passed, and now (Y/N) had resorted to ignoring his existence. She hadn't given him a single proper excuse as to why she was doing so. Did he do something wrong? Did she not like him anymore? Did he advise her to stay away from him? What was it? Many different possibilities went through his mind as he tried to ignore his thoughts as much as he could. He couldn't seem to get close enough to her to ask her anything. She had built a wall around herself whenever he came near her, and attempted to talk. It hurt him, as much as he was unwilling to admit the truth.

He didn't understand her reasons, and he had asked the rest of the team as well, none of them had a clue as to why she was acting that way toward him.

All questions though were forgotten that day, as he was on his way home, having finished eating the pork bun that Daichi had brought the whole team, and parted ways with Yamaguchi, the world went black. He was unaware of what happened to him, the last thing he remembered was the pain he felt as his back hit the edge of the sidewalk, and then, nothing.

\\

(Y/N) let out a frustrated sigh as she collapsed onto her bed, exhausted from the day's events, when she heard her mother talking to Tsukishima's mother, her ears perked up. She slowly sneaked out of her room, and hid behind the door to the kitchen as she listened to her mother talking on the phone, the person on the other side's voice loudly ringing through the room, as the phone was on speaker.

"Ai, I'm not sure how I will break it to him. It's been over ten years since it last happened, and I'm sure he doesn't remember." the woman on the other sounded stressed, as if she was on the verge of breaking down into a fit of tears.

"Calm down, can you explain what exactly the situation is?" (Y/N)'s mother, Ai asked.

(Y/N) held her breath. Whatever it was, she was sure it wasn't something she would be willing to hear. But, curiosity killed the cat, right?

She continued to listen, and when she finally heard what it was, she had to do everything she could in order to prevent the tears that threatened to spill. Quietly, she went back to her room, and collapsed on her bed, this time, burying her head in her pillow as she let it soak up all the tears she couldn't seem to hold in. The horrifying new playing over and over again in her mind.

"When Kei was six, he started having problems with his heart. A lot of times, he would collapse and would be admitted into the hospital. The doctor said, the last time he passed out, if he went a year without any incidents, that would mean he would live for at least 9-10 more years. After that, he never did, and it's been almost ten years...Kei...he doesn't have long to live..."

Have Tsukishima die on her? That prospect made her want to cry every single time she thought of him. Why did she have to get so close to him? If she hadn't, she wouldn't feel like she wasn't being stabbed through her heart every time she thought about him.

(Y/N) then made up her mind, she made up her mind on a cowardly, pathetic solution. A solution that didn't solve anything. One that may as well hurt her more than it would hurt him. She was never strong though, all she could do was get on peoples' nerves by giving smart responses, she would get angry easily, and she would get frustrated when things didn't go her way. As she saw it, she was the weakest person there was.

"Hello?" the male on the other side asked when he was met with silence after accepting the anonymous call.

"Hey." she finally said.

"Ah, (Y/N)-chan, why are you calling me this late in the night?" he asked, and she could sense the smirk in his voice.

She didn't hate him, per se, he ticked her off, but he was good-looking guy with not so much good qualities...okay, she wasn't helping things here. "Let's go out on a date sometime." she said bluntly.

(Y/N) was met with silence. "I'm finally accepted the offer from a while back, are you going to let this opportunity pass?"

"Calm down," he chuckled at her tone. "Weren't you-"

(Y/N) tensed. "Be quiet. I wouldn't be calling you if that was the case."

The two of them were friends when they were younger as she used to live next door to him. They eventually forgot about each other after she moved away, when they had been reunited because of volleyball. He had asked her out, which she had bluntly turned down. He found it odd that she would be the one calling with that offer. What had happened between her and Tsukishima? Something was definitely up.

"What did you randomly decide-"

"Toru, shut it." she snapped, and he sensed that she would go back on her decision.

He stopped. "Okay, okay. When and where would you like to go?" he asked.

"On Monday. I don't care, you can decide that." For all I care.

"You want me to decide? Are you sure?" (Y/N) wouldn't trust him to decide his own breakfast, much less decide a place to go for them a date.

"Yes," she replied, resisting the urge to turn off the call.

"Okay..."

"I have to go finish my homework. Bye." Without waiting for his response, she turned off the phone, her heart heavy.

That's it. (Y/N) was the worst person on this planet. Her date with Oikawa seemed to go flawlessly, and she knew he was trying because he knew her well. It ticked her off, why couldn't he stop trying. She knew he genuinely liked her and she...

(Y/N) screamed into her pillow in frustration. She felt like a horrible person when she realized his smile and laughter were genuine, while her's were...fake.

Tsukishima had come around after Oikawa had left and (Y/N) was in no mood to see him. When her mom came to inform her that Tsukishima was at the door, she pretended to be asleep.

The next day, she had kept a fake smile and dreamy look on her face. She had to make her act look as realistic as possible. Several times, she would end up questioning what reason she had for going to such extents. She should be with Tsukishima making the while he has left, worth it. That's what she was afraid of. Making more memories that would hurt her in the future.

She'd lost her older sister before and the pain was still there. She couldn't bear that with Tsukishima, and continued to avoid him.

"Hey shorty, where were you yesterday?"

She jumped at his voice, tensing, but didn't turn around. Oh God, no. "Nowhere." she responded quietly, wishing that he'd leave it at that.

"Why didn't you come to practice?" Of course, her wishes would go unanswered.

"I went out." she didn't look up, wondering if there was someway to escape the spot she had landed herself in.

"With?" Damn. Did he happen to see Oikawa leaving?

"What makes you think that I was out with someone?"

"You would never just randomly skip practice to go somewhere, alone." Well...he had that correct.

"I was on a date with my boyfriend. There, you happy?" she snapped unintentionally, and walked away before he could ask who it was. Though, she had a feeling he probably already knew.

(Y/N) felt terrible. She shouldn't be doing this. She shouldn't be doing this. He wasn't going to die because it was his choice. It was because he didn't have a choice.

"(Y/N), why are you crying?" Kiyoko asked her concerned.

She cursed, realizing Kiyoko was right. A few tears had unintentionally made their way down her face. She quickly wiped them away, and gave a fake smile. "Don't worry, it's nothing."

Kiyoko didn't seem to believe her, but didn't ask further. "If you're sure. But, if there's anything that's troubling you, I'm here and you can always come talk to me."

(Y/N) nodded. "Of course." Not. She couldn't burden anyone else with her unimportant thoughts.

Was she a horrible person? Yes. Did she deserve all the caring looks sent her way by all those people surrounding her. No. No. No.

For two weeks, every Monday, when Oikawa was off from practice, resting, he would go on a date with her. Somehow, when he was walking her back home, they would always end up on the same path as Tsukishima. It was awkward, to say the least. It made her feel horrible as she would notice how Tsukishima would react when he saw the two of them. There was a flash of hurt on his face before he quickly masked it with a passive face, and busied himself with his music.

Other than that, on normal days, she would leave at least ten minutes after him so she wouldn't end up bumping into on their way home. Today, she was doing just that. He had left ten minutes ago, and she gathered her things and headed out.

She stopped by Coach Ukai's shop, grabbing something to eat. She walked along the quiet streets, her face was supporting her usual monotonous, washed out expression. She bit into her steamed bun, a sigh escaping her lips as she stared down at the road next to her with a distant look on her face.

She suddenly stopped as she felt her foot hit something hard. She looked down, and a shrill shriek unintentionally spilled out of her mouth.

Tsukishima was lying on the ground, and by the looks of it, he had passed out and fallen to the ground.

"Ohmygod, ohmygod." (Y/N) started to panic. What was she supposed to do? Oh, right. Call an ambulance.

She pulled out her phone hurriedly, fumbling with it as she punched in 119. Failing to keep her cool, she stuttered as she explained where she was, and how she had found Tsukishima.

After reassuring her that they'd be here soon, she called Tsukishima's mother.

"Hello?"

"H-h-hi..." (Y/N) stuttered, the tears she'd tried to keep from spilling, now freely moving down her face. "I-I-I f-found K-Kei passed-d out-t o-on the sidewalk. W-we're a f-few b-blocks a-away-y." she sobbed. This was it, wasn't it?

"Kei..." The sorrow in her tone obviously showed she'd expected this, but she was hoping that somehow this wouldn't happen so soon. "Did you call the ambulance?"

"Y-yes." The phone shook violently with her hand and she couldn't seem to be able to stop it from shaking so horribly.

"Okay, stay on the phone, I'm coming." she told her, and (Y/N) heard shuffling.

Another sob escaped her lips in response. "It's time I told you, as much as it'll hurt me."

"I-I-I already kn-know." she responded.

"You do? Even the part where he'll get a heart transplant?"

(Y/N) froze at this new piece of news. Oh, wait. Heart transplants were barely ever successful. Never mind that.

"B-but-"

"(Y/N), dear, I haven't been hearing much about you from Kei these days. Is it because you found out that news and you decided to distance yourself from him after what happened to your sister?" Spot on.

"I-I-"

"He'll be okay. I need you to have a little faith in him. He'll survive this."

"Do you really believe that?" Suddenly, (Y/N)'s voice had regained its proper composure.

His mother never had time to respond, the ambulance had arrived.

Tsukishima was put on the stretcher and put into the ambulance.

"Are you his sister?" the woman with a look that said she could obviously careless.

(Y/N) shook her head. "His mother is on her way. She'll be here really soon." And just as those words had left her mouth, Tsukishima's mother had arrived.

"I do believe it." she smiled tenderly at (Y/N) before joining her son in the ambulance.

The ambulance left and (Y/N) couldn't find the strength in her legs to get up. She sat on the sidewalk, staring out into the space, her eyes blank as her mind. She didn't know what to think.

"(Y/N)?" It was her mother.

She looked up slowly as she met her mother's worried eyes. "Tsukishima's mother called me, telling me of what had happened. She realized you would be too overwhelmed to remember anything."

"Mom." she sobbed. "How is his mother so calm? Heart transplants rarely ever go the way people want them to."

"I knew you were pessimistic, but child, you need to have some faith in the doctors of these days. I think I understand why you started to date Oikawa now."

(Y/N) looked away.

"Come on, let's go home. you need sleep more than anything tomorrow. You can skip school tomorrow, I know there'll be no use even if I sent you. You can go visit Tsukishima then, okay?"

She nodded reluctantly as her mother helped her up and led her home.

Present Day:

It was nearing the end of the first day of his day in the hospital. His heart transplant surgery was in a few days. No one had come to visit him yet, but he had a feeling that the team would be coming soon once their practice ended. Would (Y/N) be coming as well, or would she still avoid him?

Once he had realized why she had been avoiding him for a while, he knew that he couldn't hate her for it, but that didn't mean he didn't blame her. He realized the strong girl she made herself out to be, was a fake.

Knocking on his door broke him out of his thoughts, and then the door opened, a few members of the teams walking in, and in the back, surprisingly, (Y/N) was following them.

"How are you feeling?" Yamaguchi asked.

"I feel fine." he responded.

"You're having a heart transplant in a few days. How do you feel fine?" Daichi didn't seem to believe him.

His gaze traveled to (Y/N), who, upon realizing he had caught her staring, looked away. He couldn't tell how she felt, her face was blank from any emotion.

Tsukishima shrugged. "I don't really feel anything. What do you want me to say?"

Daichi shook his head as (Y/N) got up and wordlessly handed him a small box. He gave her a curious look, and she just pointed for him to open it and see.

He opened it and saw a large slice of strawberry cake, recognizing it as her hand baked cake, he mumbled a, "Thanks."

She responded with a simple nod.

This is the routine that followed for the next few days, until it was the last day for visitors before his surgery.

"Here you go. More strawberry cake." This was the first time she had spoken to him in so long and it felt nice hearing her voice.

"Thank you." he smiled at her, which seemed to catch her off guard, and the barrier she had built to keep her eyes from revealing her emotion, flickered, and he saw the heartbroken and pained expression in her eyes.

"No problem. I'll see you after this surgery. You better-" her voice cracked and her facade fell.

"You better make it alive." she said in a small voice before rushing out of the room.

This was a shard of pain he had caused her, and he wished it wasn't him causing it.

A few days had passed after his surgery, and he had yet to awake. The doctors said his vital signs looked fine. In other words, the surgery had been successful, now he just had to wake up.

"You look really distracted today. Are you thinking about Tsukishima?" Oikawa asked the (Y/N) who had been staring at the tree for the past five minutes.

She sighed in response.

"Is this relationship helping you, or is i stressing you even more?"

She jumped up, startled as she looked at him in surprise. "What makes you say that?"

"I'm not dense. I can tell you have been faking it all along."

(Y/N) took one look at his pained expression and sighed once more.

"I guess if I continue this, I'll just be hurting you even more." she said. "You knew that the reason I came to you was because it had to do with Tsukishima, didn't you?"

He didn't say anything and she realized that he was hoping that he was wrong. She was a terrible person.

"I'm sorry." she mumbled. "I'm really sorry."

"I should've been prepared for this when I accepted this." he muttered.

(Y/N) felt bad. She shouldn't have done this. If Tsukishima was going to live anyway, what reason did she have for stringing Oikawa along like this?

"I'm-"

"It's okay," he shook his head sadly. "you don't have to apologize. I had a feeling of what was coming, yet I still accepted the offer. Don't feel bad."

(Y/N) stared ahead blankly. "I never wanted to hurt you." she mumbled.

"Stop feeling bad about it." he rolled his eyes. "If you were the (Y/N) I knew, you would be on your way home, having forgotten all of this even had happened to you."

She cracked a smile. A small, pained smile. "Probably."

"Get up. I'll still walk you home."

(Y/N) rushed through the hospital halls. She had gotten news from Tsukishima's mother that he was awake. Ditching her homework, she had practically stumbled out of her house, and ran to the train station.

She threw open the door to his room, and to her relief, no one was there. "Tsukishima!" she cried, as her arms wrapped around him and she buried her face in his chest, sobbing.

"I thought you were gone for sure." she cried. "I thought you wouldn't make it. I thought the surgery would end up being unsuccessful." her arms tightened around him.

He was a little dazed by her sudden appearance. "But I ended up surviving and here I am." he rubbed her head soothingly.

She pulled back, wiping away her tears.

"I love you, Kei."

(Y/N) awoke sobbing. She didn't know what time it was. It was probably 3 PM in the afternoon for all she cared. She had fallen asleep crying. At first, she was dazed and unaware of what had happened. Her eyes scanned her junkyard of a room and landed on the bulletin board that was hanging on the wall, and she remembered. Her heart hurt.

With a knife, it was carved into her board. KEI IS ALIVE. The ALIVE was crossed out and the whole this now read: KEI IS DEAD.